Don’t you know:
- Climate change is a feminist movement. Why, because it’s always changing man…..;
- Carbon is a transgendered element of the Periodic Table. It is stuck between that borion “B” and that nitrogen-der;
- Cow farts and flatulence contributes to Global Warming and is therefore a masculine threat. Why? Because women never, ever fart. And if they do their farts never stink. It must be stamped out immediately. See #1 above;
- The other day an activist told me that Archimedes worked for big oil. This was in response to a discussion I had with him that he needn’t worry about major flooding and sea level rising if the Arctic Ice Cap melts
- Eureka! The Arctic Ice Cap is not melting. It’s expanding. It must be a feminist movement as well. “Am I getting bigger. Do I look fat to you honey?;
- Global Warming causes hot summer weather;
- Global Warming causes cold, frigid winter weather;
- Frigidity is a feminist movement and must be stamped out at all costs;
- Global cooling is therefore, a feminist threat, and must be met with #3 above;
- Under peer review, as temperatures rise the warming effects of global warming will offset the cooling effects of global cooling as a result of the global warming. Got that? Yeah? cool! Chill man, er woman, er ne, ve or ze, er wo…oops…man
- Pesticides found in Marijuana! Ban marijuana now before it kills us;
- Pot for kids! Ban pot now because you can’t call the kettle back;
- Under the new marijuana legislation, every pot has a lid man, er women, er ne,ve or ze!;
- Heaven help us if the kids are our future…see #12 above;
- Hooray for natural gas…see #3 above.
- Liquid natural gas? Well a good dose of Keopectate will take care of that;
- Greenpeace and US activists protest First Nation sponsored aqua-culture…What?;
- Ne, Ve or Ze. Clockwork Oranges.
- Smoking kills but smoking pot is alright man. It’s out of sight, out of mind, and out of body; and
- Thank God that I will be dead soon…see #s 19,14 and 12 above.
Madness!