It’s All BS!

This just in from Vogue, another so-called news outlet suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. “Why can’t this administration get things right?” This from a reporter who was complaining about the First Lady’s attire as she was heading to Air Force 1 with her husband for the trip down to Houston to provide hope and support for the residents there.

Oh, I don’t know. Would you rather have her:

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Or her, in the White house representing all Americans?

yeagar.jpg

Vogue’s writer.

GE announces closure of Peterborough plant due to continued delays in the Energy East Pipeline approval process, 350 jobs lost. “Canada is not, I repeat, not open for business. How can I not be clearer than that” Climate Barbie, our Federal Minister responded:

Image result for Catherine McKenna Climate BarbieOr the constant Kinder Morgan Pipeline expansion delays, our photogenic Minister added.

Image result for Catherine McKenna Climate Barbie

Yeah, but she does have a nice butt, her coworker was heard to mumble in the background.

 

I see  Omar Kadr’s sister doesn’t think that Kadr’s crime is any big deal.

“What’s the fuss all about? It’s no big deal that he killed a man and blinded another. Hmmm?” Federal spokesperson responded. “Oh she’s sure to get $10.5 M for that remark. Guaranteed! After all this is 2017 and this is Canada. We’re smug you know.”

 

The Left’s Sunday picnic at Berkeley. It was a BYOB, “Bring Your Own Bombs” affair. Hell of a party. The bar was kept pretty busy. “Everyone wants a Molotov Cocktail these days.” A volunteer worker was heard to say.  “I ran out of olives pretty quickly and at an event like this Black Olives really do matter.”

On another note, Frosh week begins at a Boston College!

Image result for pictures of Antifa at Boston

 

What would war look like with North Korea? Well, we’d all have to have haircuts like this guy. (Pic courtesy of Maclean’s Magazine)

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reacts during the long-range strategic ballistic rocket Hwasong-12 (Mars-12) test launch in this undated photo released by North Korea's Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) on May 15, 2017. (KCNA/Reuters): North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reacts during the long-range strategic ballistic rocket Hwasong-12 (Mars-12) test launch in this undated photo released by North Korea’s Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) on May 15, 2017. (KCNA/Reuters)See, they can’t even keep a straight face.

Another candidate for a Darwin Award: Animal rights activist gets gored trying to stop bullfight in France. “I just wanted to protect the bull’s rights.” He was heard to say. ” “He has feelings too you know.”

“It was all bullshit.” a spectator who was there remarked. “But then again, one has to look on the positive side of things. One less member of the gene pool of stupidity, one less member of PETA………Priceless.”

Only 10,000 more members to go!

 

Wednesday is “Hump day,”which has taken on a whole new meaning in Qatar ever since they imported 15,000 camels from Saudi Arabia.

 

SJ……….out.

Well that Eclipses Everything!

Seems that Cheerios is being blind sided in the misappropriation ballyhoo. Majority of those proper English Gents are no longer able to say “Cheerio” in social situations.  It is better to say “F%$K Off. More direct and to the point,” a Social Justice was heard to say.

Picture attributed to Wikipedia (John Cleese: Silly Walks Ministry)

From the Darwin Runner Up Award category: it would appear that some people in the Moonbat state of California are all in a tizzy with their Moonbat Governor because they almost blinded themselves while watching the latest solar eclipse. Seems somebody in the sunshine state told them that if they applied “Sunscreen” on their eyeballs they could look directly at the Corona. What they failed to tell them was that they were referring to the other set of balls for males at a nudist camp!

CarbondaleThese guys were okay. Not the Moonbat State.

On another note many solar panel officiates extremely upset that their solar panels failed during the eclipse. “If they can’t handle a simple stupid solar eclipse then what good are they? ” Someone was heard to say…….Geesh

Seems convicted Canadian Omar Kadr’s sister is coming to town. Wants to see Omar and find out from him how she can get on that government sponsored gravy train. “Just threaten to sue their asses off” someone was heard to say. It’s a win-win situation for you. After all you are a Muslim woman who is constantly being violated for your human rights…..right?….left…right?”

Damn: “Why are those lefties so darn righteous?…..Huh?”

Seems that our (Canada’s) Chief of Defence Staff attended Ottawa’s Gay Pride parade. Said he wanted to stay on top of things. As an ex Navy vet I am ashamed today. He also stated that he wanted to be there as the Canadian Forces unveiled their new under cover uniforms, as shown here.

Hey Charles, your hem line if getting a bit high, don’t ya think. Look to your mommy for guidance here.

Slide 1 of 30: Poderá ficar surpreendido com algumas destas restrições. Clique na galeria e surpreenda-se com algumas das mais peculiares regras às quais a família real mais famosa do mundo tem de se submeter!Seems that baby names like John, George, Ringo and Paul are no longer popular. Moonbat, Cirque, Hoelay and Weed are making a comeback for both boys and girls.

Heard that Yoko is suing for equal rights to the song “Imagine.” They told her that the screeching segment in the song had been edited out, years ago. No matter, just give me money, that’s all I want. It’s really an all-true-is-it? issue said Peter with his lisp. She wants the piano as well.

Oxy Moron of the week: Berkeley Mayor is so into free speech that he has requested the college to ban free speech week!  Say what.

Alt left and other progressives are destroying our way of life. Put out that joint and “Wake up People.” It is an existential threat to us all.

 

I can’t make this stuff up…………….SJ Out.

Pigeon Lovers Unite!

If you start taking down statues, what are the poor Pigeon’s going to do? I think that Pigeon lovers everywhere should march and protest this blatant act of cruelty to animals.

Would you rather have this:

Or this:

Image result for pictures of bird crap on carsThere are unintended consequences you know. So, Antifa, BLM, PRIDE and all you SJWs out there be very careful what you wish for. Be very, very careful.  This could be your car!

More bodies found on glacier, Mont Blanc, France. One French official was heard to state that “this is a real cold case.”  Activists are upset as Mount Blanc is a symbol of white privilege, white suprematism. Never mind the poor bastards who died. No, they want the name changed to “Mount This Will Ya? France.

Social media split on Swift’s new song. First of all, who is Swift? Secondly, who gives a rats ass about her new song? Thirdly, the Musak industry is all in a tizzy over this as this song really, really sucks.

Latest Darwin runner-up award: Woman falls while taking a selfie with a drone. Now runner up’s for this award are those people who demonstrate awesome stupidity but for whatever reason fail to diminish the gene pool by taking themselves off of the ranks of the living…too bad.

 

Mysterious tablet discovered. New math secrets revealed as in:

1 + 1 = 3  Yikes!

The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York.

I knew that all along. I could have been a math contender if this had come out when I was in school.

Oh yeah. Surprise comment of the week: Hurricane Harvey caused by Climate Change.

Jewish activists target New York’s Peter Stuyvesant Statues. Targeting a statue to a cigarette?  C’mon guys, let’s get real here!

 

Another candidate(s) for a runner-up status of the Darwin Stupidity Award:

“Authorities shut down the scheduled performance by Los Angeles act Allah-Las at a 1,000-person capacity club called Maassilo. The band’s name has attracted some unwanted attention in the Muslim world. Band members say they selected the name Allah, Arabic for the Muslim deity, because they wanted something that sounded “holy.” Lead singer Miles Michaud said: “We get emails from Muslims, here in the U.S. and around the world, saying they’re offended, but that absolutely wasn’t our intention.”

Maybe you guys should have called yourselves the “Sermon on the Rock n Rollers.” Hmmm? Just sayin. “Just because we know how to rock doesn’t mean we are smart.” One of the band members was heard to say. Taylor Swift nodded in agreement.

 

There is just so much craziness a person can handle these days.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

SJ………….Out!

 

Hey John A!

Image result for john a macdonald

It seems the Ontario Teacher’s Union wants to ban John A Macdonald’s name off of all public schools. Of course he is one of our founding fathers here in Canada – but they probably didn’t know that.

Why? Because of his racist views. Views held by about almost every dude and dude-ess that lived in those days. If you’re going to erase his name then Cartier has to go too. Erased from all schools in Quebec. Laurier as well. See how that plays out….Geesh.

The schools will now be known as Zir Ze; Hey, Hey; Whoo Payz; and Zits.

 

Please dear God: can we have just one day in this country without some stupid story about Trump.

 

Mel B walks off of America’s got talent. Sorry, but who the F%$K is Mel B?

 

Politicisation of just about everything:

  • ESPN pulls football announcer because his name is Robert Lee, an Asian;
  • Calgary’s cattle Methane Corporation’s new CEO’s name: “Whoo Flung Pooo” is considered a cultural misappropriation. Changes name to Holee Cau;
  • CFL team managers and support crews wear “Diversity is Strength” during football telecast, then go on to lose by a very big margin. One just can’t get away from it…ever;
  • Kapernick will not stand during the playing of the national anthem. Many others in sports as well. NAACP in support of Kapernick. Making it a racist issue…fire them all and then see how much they’ll stand without their huge paychecks;
  • NHL banning draft in Dallas due to city’s transgendered bathroom issues. City will not cave in to idiots. Grow a set Garry, just like the city of Dallas;
  • Historical Statues coming down; and
  • On and On she goes.

I think I may want to get out of Dodge here Billy – sometime soon.

 

Short today….have to go.

 

SJ…….out

 

 

Calls of Nature

From the obviousness file

Rapper, er sorry, Clapper denounces Trump’s Arizona speech as scary. No it’s scary having a name like that.

Crapper made his obvious comments on CNN, which will be covered by the Washington Post and New York Times, all known supporters of Trump! Crapper got really excited by Trump’s racist comments “about the need for unity and inclusion.” Yup, downright scary. No this is scary:

Image result for antifa riots“What a riot man!” Antifa coming to a neighbourhood near you.

When kids are left alone with dad! Love it! (c/o twitter / facebook)

Slide 16 of 30: When a love of motorcycles is passed from father to son. Success of future MARS mission dependant upon astronauts urine and CO2 emissions. I thought CO2 was poison man. Say what? And shit for fertilizer! They are going to call the first MARS expedition “The Call of Nature.”

Beach goers in a state of fearful frenzy as shark devours a seal. “Where is PETA when you need them?” One vegan on the beach was heard to say. “Gawd this can’t be right.” In response another was heard to say that “this is nothing but the call of nature.”

Cannabis not really effective against pain and PTSD, new study shows. They tried to treat patients suffering from chronic pain and PTSD with cannabis but couldn’t wake them up to determine efficacy. “Well, if you want to sleep all day then I guess it is okay for that,” a prominent researcher, Dr. Walter White, who wanted to remain anonymous, stated.

An Asian ESPN Sports announcer by the name of Robert Lee pulled from doing the play by play at a UVA football game. On another note an Asian entrepreneur who owns a string of Chinese restaurants was forced to change the name. “Holy Chow” was considered too religious for some patrons to stomach. He changed the name to “Holy Cow.” It is expected that PETA may have something to say about this new branding scheme.

CNN calls Trump demented, sexist, racist, a Nazi – “is there anything else in the lexicon that we can use?” Wolf was heard to say. I’ll let their own words speak for itself.

Trump sending troops to Afghanistan. New mission and aim. Destroy ISIS and terrorists. Kill them! No more pussy footing around. A prominent Canadian who wants to remain anonymous, wearing his new black and white socks, became outraged when he heard this new directive coming from the White House.

Some of my latest least favourites:

Least favourite colour……………………… Green

Least favourite word………………………… Transparency

Least favourite food…………………………..Tofu

Least favourite song…………………………..Imagine.

Least favourite team…………………………. Leafs

Least favourite French expression…………..Je suis (insert whatever here)

 

That’s about it for today.

 

SJ…………out.