Lost at Sea

Maldives? Forget about it, them, those islands and islets. They’re toast.

Just received this from a friend of mine in Ottawa:


It’s about a pill that will change everything. Stephen Hawkings says so. So what will happen if I take this?” someone said. “Well, if you follow the regimen then you too can look just like Stephen Hawkings.”

A famous TV personality was heard to say: “Take this pill for 14 days and you too can become a homosexual.” Even Holly’s Woody in the Morning People are in one this brain enhancing phenom. “Hey look what its done to old Weinstein.”

One review written: “We are very grateful to have this now,. I believe this breakthrough will take us to the next level in our evil-utionary conundrum.” Oh you mean like this:

And after taking this pill for over a month the following side effects were examined. I mean after all this pill will allow us to use total brain power and not just the paltry 10% that we are viewed to be using now:

All you millennials? Get this pill now and take it……..pah-leeze.

No, but this guy sure is!

Another one bites the dust. Soon, there will be no decent ones left:

Fats! R.I.P


Instead of flogging stuff like the brain teasing pill above there is another get rich scheme that Canadians should think about. Go to Syria or some other tin pot shit hole country, stay for a few months, return home, say you were tortured, take the Canadian govt to court and viola: ten million bucks coming your way. Only in Canada you say……………..shitty! Gawd! I can’t believe this country of ours with our leaderless leaders. Imagine these guys being in charge during the First or Second World War. We’d all be speaking Japanese and wearing Lederhosen!

Hey Trudeau, how about the families of the two Canadians murdered by Philippine terrorists? Or Khadr’s victims: the Sheer family? Don’t they deserve $10M as well?



Two new “Darwin Award” Candidates (Italics mine)

A planned voyage from Hawaii to Tahiti aboard a small sailboat didn’t start off well for two Honolulu women. One of their cellphones washed overboard and sank into the deep blue water on their first day at sea. Cellphones in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Are you gals daft?

The women, architect Jennifer Appel and her friend Tasha Fuiava, both of Honolulu, set sail on May 3, but lost their engine in bad weather four weeks later. They believed they could still reach Tahiti using their sails. Yes that’s what sailboats are for ladies – sailing – at about 5 or 6 knots per hour if you’re lucky! BTW, do not give up your days jobs.

What was meant to be a month-long trip stretched into 176 days, and took them roughly 8,000 kilometres off course. Oh you mean they ended up near the Mariana Archipelago?

Take a look at this chart. A chart is like a map at sea ladies. Marianas is about 1200 nm south of Japan. Hawaii is about centre right and Tahiti is in the South Central Pacific.

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I mean c’mon now. Heading west when you should have been heading south. Didn’t the sun sets give you a clue? Being almost dead ahead of your track instead of being off your starboard side. Or the sun rise. Ever heard of a sextant? Celestial Navigation? Dead Reckoning. GPS perhaps? I do hope you don’t design buildings or houses like you handle seamanship. Or perhaps this is one of your designs – for our Canadian Prime Minister:

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Or this:

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“Whatever I do I just keep getting disorientated.” The architect was heard to say.

Have a great weekend.