Turn Me Loose

Hey, I’d love to hear from you. Don’t be afraid to leave a comment. Just click on the “Leave a Comment” tab at the side bar or at the bottom of your Smart Phone,just below the “like” and “sharing” buttons.

Also, check out my two stabs at writing. Click on the tabs at the top of the page. Both books are available at Amazon…..thanks.


Yesterday’s post about that Pakistan man named Hussein who has a pet lion got me to thinking about another duo obsessed with wild animals. Siegfried and Roy. Remember these guys? Roy was mauled to death by his out of control tiger that had him in a head lock with his jaws.

No matter how nice you may be to them, sooner or later they’re going to get ya Hussein.

Siegfried & Roy posing for the camera: Siegfried & Roy - Getty Images

Talk about calling the kettle black: Rosie O’Donnell slams Kelly Ripka for being mean. And this is news why?

Trudeau apologizes to an indigenous woman for a sarcastic remark. Seems these apologies are so rampant now to be almost meaningless…like the PM himself.


The following must have been written by a Canadian….sorry:

We’d all like to be more polite. The polite person gets the secret discount, the last available table, the self-satisfied feeling that comes when you know for a fact you’ve brightened someone’s day. Simply, being polite is good for all parties. But, the thing is, if you’re not actively trying to be polite, you might be actually be doing the opposite.

A lot of the niceties you may use in everyday conversation—without a second thought—are considered by some to be downright impolite. Basically, when it comes down it, being polite is to focus less on saying the right things and more on not saying the wrong things.

Okay….……..”F&%k Off”…how is that for a focus.


Holy Cow man!

Icelandic ultra-low-cost airline Wow Air ceased operations on Thursday, stranding hundreds of passengers around the world. Wow’s shutdown also leaves those who have upcoming reservations with airline stuck without flights.

Wow!

a large air plane flying in the sky

Who would ever fly on a purple airplane anyway. Especially one named “Wow?”


Typical day in Canada.

Climate change, global warming. My polite Canadian response: “F^%K Off.”

Being a Catholic myself I love this: Bold comments are mine:

“While attending Mass at the University of Notre Dame last fall, Maryann White saw something that horrified her: Leggings.

“A group of young women, all clad in tight, clingy Spandex and short tops, were sitting directly in front of her and her family.

“I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds,” the self-described Catholic mother of four sons wrote in a letter to the editor that was published by the Observer, Notre Dame’s student newspaper, on Monday. “My sons know better than to ogle a woman’s body — certainly when I’m around oh mom…please..yuck (and hopefully, also when I’m not)- ogling you mom? I think not but then again they are Catholics. They didn’t stare, and they didn’t comment afterwards. But you couldn’t help but see those blackly naked rear ends. I didn’t want to see them — but they were unavoidable. How much more difficult for young guys to ignore them.” 

“Hey we’re Catholic boys. By the way mom, what’s ogle-ing?”

“C’mon Mom, we’re always trying to get a leg up….guilty!”

I bet they were thinking about this song while they were ogling:

Short one today.

Have a great weekend. Read ya Monday.

 

SJ……….………………..Out

 

 

Rule Britannia

Hey, I’d love to hear from you. Don’t be afraid to leave a comment. Just click on the “Leave a Comment” tab at the side bar or at the bottom of your Smart Phone,just below the “like” and “sharing” buttons.

Also, check out my two stabs at writing. Click on the tabs at the top of the page. Both books are available at Amazon…..thanks.


Ah, this just in. From Pakistan. New candidate for the Darwin award. So as not to be outdone by his late German Darwinian compatriot comes this:

See the source image

Hey Hussein, Hussein, Hussein loves his pet lion Hussein. Check out his video on line. I would show it but it is really, really creepy.

Hey Hussein…you are insane! The sooner you exit the gene pool the better for all of us.


Ah the millennial generation. Don’t you just love them for their foresight; knowledge and hipster lifestyle (see yesterday’s post). From Alexandra Occasionally Cortez But Generally Wacko’s mindset to those purveyors of the cultish climate change construct and destruct. I bet you haven’t come to the realization that the leftist movement, or progressive-ism destroys everything it touches or controls….everything. Think about it.

“Don’t bore me with the facts, or science. If I know something in my heart to be right then it is. Nothing else matters.” (AOC)

So, according to some the world is flat because: ” well dude the world is flat. I mean like you know where I live it is, like, flat. If I walk down the street the street is like flat, not curved, so the world is definitely flat. Like it or not….like you know” and this coming from one of our so called leaders. “So like we should now be teaching our children that the world is flat…just like me…” No one disputed her…that she was flat I mean.

Check this out: Warning! “Like alert… like”

Love this quote. Typical millennial speak: “well you know that if you fast too much your will starve”….”well that’s debatable” came the answer.

How can one debate that?


Greenland glacier is shrinking………..that’s evidence of global warming;

Greenland glacier is now growing……that’s new evidence of global warming;

The earth is 4.5 billion years old so let’s destroy our way of life to save the planet…based on emotive logic over a period of 10 years….okay. Facts be damned.

Everything Al Gore predicted has not come true. “ I feel hot so it must be true,” she remarked as she took another turn on the pole

“Just the facts ma’am”…Jack Webb…my hero.

Trump?: see what happens when you are under the influence of climate change….the MSNBC pundit remarked as he lit another joint.

“If everything is weird then weird is the new normal!”…….profound!

It used to be that every bad weather event, or anything for that matter, was caused by climate change, or global warming, global cooling, whatever. Now it’s TRUMP!

Eeee gads. Time to get off the planet.

I need some uplifting music today. Something to really piss off the millennials and throw them into a shit fit – especially those smug west coast Canadians, like the mayor of Victoria:

Hey, I didn’t know that Andrew Sheer moonlighted as a trombone player for the Royal Philharmonic.

And what do we have? The Maple Leafs.

Have a great Navy day.

SJ……….………………………….Out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s On First

 

See the source image

 

Got this from a friend. I thought it pretty well reflects Liberal-speak:

A new take on that famous Abbott and Costello skit:

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in Canada

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right, 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed

ABBOTT: No, Trudeau said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like a Liberal.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking and talking like Trudeau.

Stats Canada take note.


This is also soooo cool. For those out there that truly think of themselves as unique.

The real truth about so called “hipsters”

Thanks to Paul Joseph Watson

Given the hipster meme I thought this video was appropriate:

Have a great Navy day.

 

SJ……….………………………………………Out

Nothin Like A Woman Scorned.

So, what is happening at Disneyland by the Rideau River these days.

(with some thanks to Neil Macdonald)

See the source image

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good
Song of the Witches – William Shakespeare

 

Joy Wilson Rebound (sic) and Jane Stinkpotts (sic-er) end game may be to bring down Pierre Trudeau by kicking him where it hurts – in the butts and therefore to bring down the Liberal leader. Perhaps Rebound would then become the Liberal leader – in all likelihood; fulfil the lifelong dream of her radical First Nation father; and become this second rate nation’s first dis-indigenous Prime Minister.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking with it.

Oxymoronic statement of the week: “both ex minister categorically state that they remain loyal but are constrained by honour and principal”…..hahahahahahahaahahah. That is like my wife saying to me…”honey does this dress make me look fat?”….it’s a no win, no win situation. As a feminist Justinian, you must know by now that you are literally and figuratively screwed.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

And in typical, Trudeau-lese logic comes this response:

Rebound’s and Stinkpott’s torpedoes are further proof that diversity is the strength of the Liberal party in that the Liberals tolerate a diversity of views in their ranks.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

See the source image

Machiavellian House of Cards?  Canadian version? Potentially.

Its like an Ottawa girls only coffee clutch, only of parliamentary proportions. They, Rebound and Stinkpotts, are not free to reveal misbehaviour by their other girlfriend Justinian, only to say in whispers that it exists and to tease us Canadians with future revelations. “Tease” being is the operative word here. Males don’t stand a chance. “Strip” down to your bare essentials, cover your sensitive parts and run like hell.  As the old saying goes there is nothing worse than a woman scorned. And in this case two woman with probably more to come.

See the source imageScrew him?…You bet..Betsy

If there is one thing I have learned out of this it is this: I will never, ever, ever vote for anyone who hails from Quebec, ever again.

 

Have a great Navy day.

SJ……….……………………………….Out

 

Frustration

Frustration! That sinking feeling when nothing seems to go according to Hoyle.  

And who is that guy Hoyle anyway?

Yet, as much as we try to rectify a situation or make ourselves understood, for whatever reason, we just fall further and further and further into a bottomless pit. No matter how hard we try to dig ourselves out, with every shovelful of dirt, the deeper and deeper we sink into the quagmire.

 Is there anything we can do about this?

In my humble opinion there is nothing that can be done. Oh yes, I have checked with leading psychologists and they all tell me that it is just a natural everyday occurrence of life.  Indeed, the local Manotick – where I lived at the time – astrologist tells me that the stars are sometimes aligned against us. It is better just to accept our fate, go with the flow, and disengage until things get better.

I found myself in a frustrating situation that illustrates just what I mean. Consider this:

Once a week I buy my lunch at work, usually on a Wednesday. And I normally go for the cholesterol fix of a greasy burg with cheese and bacon and a side order of onion rings. Now this concoction comes to about $5.75 with tax.  It has been the same price for months.

One Wednesday I wandered down to the cafeteria, checked my money, and noticing that I had only about 6 bucks, decided to order my usual. When the order came up I moseyed on up to the cash and waited for my turn to pay. The cashier, a rather petite French Canadian girl, took my order, rang it in, and told me I owed her $6.50. Just a little surprised and somewhat embarrassed because I was short of funds, and, knowing the price from past purchases, I told her that she must have made a mistake.

 “No, says she, That,” pointing to my order, “is the Banquet Burger Special. $6.50 please.”

 “What special?” says I

 “Banquet burger, fries or onion rings and a drink.” She said

 “But I don’t have a drink.” I countered

 “Well, get one” she says.

 “But I don’t want one. Tell you what. Just ring in the banquet burger and an order of onion rings.”

 “I can’t do that” she said. “You have the special and you owe me $6.50.”

 Incensed, and totally frustrated, knowing full well that the line was getting longer.

I could feel the customers behind me. Their eyeful stares felt like daggers and their exaggerated sighs and harrumphs seemed to be burning a rather large hole in my back. 

My blood boiling, I left the line and went back to the short order cook.  I checked the menu: Banquet Burger – $3.25, Onion Rings – $1.50.  With tax about $5.50. The special? – Banquet Burger, Fries or Onion Rings and a Large Drink – $5.95, with tax – about $6.50.

I waited in line and when the cook asked for my order I showed him mine and told him that I only wanted a Banquet Burger and Onion Rings. Could he please mark my order as such and charge me $4.75.

 “Sure.” He said. He took my styro-foam take out box and marked the outside as a Banquet Burger and a side order of Onion Rings – rather than the special. Pleased with myself, I sauntered back to the cashier. She looks at me rather objectionably, looks at the box, then rings up $6.50. I tell her she is making a mistake. Banquet Burger and Onion Rings…only.

“Yes” she says, “the special.” 

“No, no, no, says I, rather emphatically. “It is not the special. It is the Banquet Burger and Onion Rings. No drink.”

“Well, get a drink” she says.

“But I DO NOT WANT ONE.”

“I’m sorry, that is the special and you owe me $6.50.”

“Well I am short. I’ll be right back.”

What could I do? My blood was boiling, my blood pressure, well…pressurized. Totally frustrated in not being able to make myself understood, I left the box on the counter and walked briskly over to the cash ATM that we had in our building. I would take out a 20 and pay for the special. What the hell, a buck fifty for a cash advance plus an additional buck fifty that my bank was going to charge me. 3 bucks plus, PLUS the damn special – $9.50 for the Banquet Burger. I was so mad, but I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I would have paid 100 bucks to get out of this predicament. I felt like George Costanza of Seinfeld fame.

To make matters worse the ATM was out of order. Of course it was, on this day and in this moment in time. It was never out of order. Oh yes but it knew, this machine knew, that poor old Shakey was in a predicament. Yes, yes it knew all right.  Paranoia was setting in. I was close to turning postal, and psycho.

I guess some guy noticed my frustration.

“Hey, if you need some money the convenience store will give you a cash advance.”

“Great” I said, trying very hard to keep my cool and my anger checked.  

I walked over to the little store and asked very politely but somewhat impatiently for a cash advance.

“Sure,” said the clerk, “But you’ll have to buy something for 5 bucks.”

What?  What’s that you said. 5 bucks??  Hmmmmm. Okay, okay what the hell: chocolate bar, soap, chips, deodorant. Sure, 5 bucks. “Here,”

“Now give me the bleep, bleep money” – I thought to myself.

Money in hand and with a bagful of unwanted goodies, I went back to the cafeteria, picked up my take-out box, went to the cash, gave her 10 bucks and left without waiting for my change. I was afraid at what I would do.

“Hey, don’t you want your drink,” she said.

A true story. And one that I am sure everyone has experienced at some time or another. Anal retentiveness. Yesss and perhaps the most underused expression in our vocabulary. And one of my favourites.

So?  What can one do?  What can you do?

I remember driving home, still incensed. Not a very smart thing to do: getting behind the wheel of a 2 ton machine, driving through downtown Ottawa, facing the summer road construction, and pedestrians. Yes pedestrians, they were all targets of my frustration. Should I or shouldn’t I?  Hmmm.

And yet, driving along Colonel By drive toward Hogsback, I was oblivious to the sweet smell of summer, the tranquil waters of the Rideau, the sparkling green silken sheen of Dow’s Lake. Past Carleton U, up a small hill to the traffic light at Hogsback Falls. The light was red. Of course it was. Waiting and waiting and waiting for what seemed to be an eternity – the falls to my left, the water crashing against the rocks. And I was sure the rock gods were laughing at me in the summer’s sun. I was still ticked – and the whole world was out to get me and… I was getting weird!!

Just then a parade of black cars appeared. They were all turning left onto Col By from Prince of Wales Drive, their headlights on. And then, a long black hearse appeared. Majestic, solemn and silent, its smooth polished grain moved graciously, as if floating, through the traffic.  Watching, reverently, as the motorcade drove by, I thought to myself.

“Y’know Shakey, Things could be a great deal worse.” And with that the light turned green and I was on my way – but this time a song was brewing in my heart and a smile began to form on my face. Yes, life was good.

Yet I had to ask myself: “I wonder if he, or she, had asked for just the Banquet Burger and Onion Rings too.”