Could I just have a cheeseburger please (my comments are in bold):
A feminist-owned and operated cafe that made headlines around the world after introducing an 18% “man tax” on male customers will be closing its doors at the end of the month. “Handsome Her,” oxymoronically speaking, a vegan establishment located in Melbourne, Australia, will be going out of business on April 28, according to an announcement on its website.
It turns out that “brazen public discussions of structural inequality and oppression,” rules about women having “priority seating,” and serving turmeric lattes (what the f%$K) with macadamia milk (nuts!) isn’t in fact the basis of a thriving business. Even in Brunswick, Melbourne. However, the empowered proprietors insist that the mockery aimed at their pricing policy merely “showed us how fragile masculinity is (really?) and solidified the necessity for us to confront and dismantle patriarchy.” Naw we just want a hamburger.
“Toxic masculinity is the root cause of our bankruptcy” said one of the disgruntled feminist owners. “Tuesday came and those toxic masculine bastards didn’t pay.”
No, perhaps your latte, tumerically speaking of course, may have played some part in the cat-laughery of your demise, tumerically speaking of course.
I am sure glad I got my wiener roast in last weekend:
New York City to ban hot dogs and all processed meats. I kid you not.
Soon to be coming to a Canada near you. Oh and those Frikandel Speciales from the Netherlands will soon be a done deal. Woe is me. All of this to fight climate change. The mayor of New York claims we have to do this by 2030 or else. Or else what? A Tofu Burger / Dog? Let me off the planet now cause I will not be able to live with these idiots we have for leaders for very much longer. They are all nutty fruitcakes and it ain’t even Christmas yet.
What are these guys going to do?
How about banning Bill De Blasio, NYC Mayor.
Pass the mustard. Next? Ban fun!
Speaking of wieners:
For the last several years California legislators have been ramping up their efforts to legally obliterate male and female definitions by disconnecting the legal link between biology and a person’s sex or gender.
The author of all of this, LGBT Cockus (sic) Chair Senator Scott Wiener (D-San Francisco), says the bill is necessary to protect transgender identified people from “physical assaults” and to preserve their “basic dignity,” and “respect.” But Wiener doesn’t seem to care about the privacy and dignity concerns of real, biological women, who would have to share personal, intimate living space with any male inmate claiming to be a woman.
Doing anything else will make this bill wiener-less, Scott Wiener announced. Bill nodded in agreement and invited Scott to New York City, which will soon become a wiener sanctuary city.
Anthony Weiner, the disgraced wiener, er Governor, of New York State mumbled in agreement. “Pass the mustard” he was heard to say.
Take my mayor…..please and please, please bring back the 60s.
Up next? Ban baseball. Real synergy!
Canadian Currency: first came the Loonie from our loonie toon leaders. Then came the Toonie from our tooney loon leaders. And now comes the all inclusive, not to be outdone LGBTQURSTWXYZ:
Of course it will be tail-less. Heads only and that’s the way they like it. Heads UP!
Identity politics gone amuk here in Canada. Hey, I want a heterosexual coin. How about a Threenie?
The New York Yankees Major League Baseball franchise took Kate Smith’s rendition of “God Bless America” off its seventh-inning stretch playlist when its managers learned of the singer’s “history” of racism.
However, if you dig a little deeper, the racist actions of Kate Smith can’t hold a candle to the racist past of Major League Baseball — including the N.Y. Yankees. In fact, MLB teams refused to hire qualified black players for decades, and well into the 20th century. If your past actions affect how you’re viewed by today’s standards, as the N.Y. Yankees deem the case to be with Kate Smith, this makes MLB one of the most racist organizations still active in America today.
So, lets abolish major league baseball and the New York Yankees for sure. At the very least it would help alleviate those nasty hot dogs that proliferate at these racist games and are a main contributor to climate change.
See, my articles are somewhat synergistic at times.
Seems appropriate. Kate Smith’s God Bless America. While in the thick of it during World War ll – 1943.
Have a nice day.
God bless America and Hot Dogs.
I know, I know. There is no diversity in that video, so America is a racist, shitty, backroad of a country and just a footnote in history! Thank god for that shitty, racist shithole of a country during WW 2 – Pacific and Europe.
Have a great weekend. Read ya Monday.