Peaceful Easy Feeling

My wife died three years ago today from cancer.

Marijke. I love you and miss you. I think of you every day.

2018 was a bittersweet year for me. My dear wife passed away from cancer 08 December 2017. Our first grandchild was born 01 April 2018. April Fools Day but more importantly, Easter Sunday. A real blessing for me but sad that my wife never got to hold her.

I spent most of my time in the first 6 months of 2018 planning my pilgrimage. This proved to be a very welcomed distraction from my grief. I will not go into it as you can read about it in my archived posts starting around the 27 July – 13/14 September 2018. I felt my wife’s presence throughout the long walk. Silent times for personal reflection among some of the most beautiful scenery on the planet – France. Mon Dieu, beaucoup de belle pay. Je l’aime. It renewed my faith in life and in God. My anger about my wife’s death dissipated like a light translucent fog in a light summer’s breeze. How could I remain sad in this environment?

From there I went to Lourdes, which was a very personal journey for me. Then finishing off this glorious summer trek with a visit to a very old, but dear friend, who now lives in Switzerland. Spending a week with her, her husband and family was a highlight for me. Thanks Ruth and Pascal.

Sadly Ruth passed away from cancer 19 August 2019.

I was able to say goodbye to Marijke and I could sense her letting me go. To move on. It is okay, she whispered in my ear, GO, and  live, just as a soft, light enveloping wind swept over me like a cool refreshing blanket in this summer’s heat. I will never forget her but I must move on for the sake of my two sons, and now my grandchild.

Goodbye Marijke. Until me meet again. Hallelujah!

I have met someone new. Debra Dorothy, aka Dot, who herself lost her husband 27 December 2007.

We are now together to share both our loss, our grief but most importantly, our new lives together.

One can move on from a tragic loss. I love you Dot.






4 thoughts on “Peaceful Easy Feeling”

  1. Thank you for sharing. It is a welcome gift when you reveal these parts of your life’s journey. That throughout our pain and sorrow there is a tender loving God who knows us and leads us.

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