It’s a great read. Honest. You will love each of these stories:
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Courtesy of the BabylonBee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Speaker Nazi Pelosi has been forced to cancel her upcoming impeachment press conference after she suddenly realized she doesn’t have a podium anymore.
“I can’t give a press conference without my podium, which was stolen by an evil terrorist from Florida,” said Pelosi. “That podium is very special to me. It has great sentimental value. The impeachment cannot proceed until I get my podium!”
According to sources, impeachment proceedings will be delayed until Pelosi gets her podium back. “We thought we had this impeachment in the bag,” said AOC, “but Florida man thwarted us. We could be delayed for days now. Curse you, Florida man!”
No comment is forthcoming from that evil domestic terrorist from a covid ravaged nursing home in Florida.
And he has the keys to their nuclear arsenal?
Scary………Shuffle off to buffal0……SAD.
NASA finds there are fewer galaxies than first thought, leaving the possibility that we’re alone in the universe
It’s likely the number of galaxies is in the hundreds of billions, not trillions as previously thought
Whew. DAMN! You had me worried there for a second.
This just in:
Soon-to-be President Biden has a pen and a phone.
Ron Klain, Biden’s incoming Chief of Staff, announced that Slow Joe is going to move fast the moment he enters office. In the first ten days of his administration, Joe is going to take a pen in his quivering hand and sign one executive order after another, all intended to push hard and fast on the radical policies so beloved on the left or to reinstate old Obama policies…and then take a nap.
On the very day Biden is inaugurated, says Klain, after his nap, he’ll deal with “four crises.” These are the Wuhan virus, economic problems, climate change, and racial equity. In addition, on his very first day, Biden promises to “restore humanity to our immigration system,” “make government function for the people,” and to “reverse the Muslim ban.” Oops there was never a Muslim ban by the way.
And…not to be outdone by Obama: “this will be the day that the oceans begin to rise, that the icecaps begin to melt and that our cities burn to the ground.” or something like that…………….Jill…okay Jill. Did I miss something? Oh yeah whitey, whitey. That white priveledge ends today…starting with me. After all, I am obsolete. Eh Pamela? I’ll just shuffle off to Buffalo.
Smoking on camera. Ah, the good ole days.
Hate, hate and more hate – HATE.
Anthem of the Democratic party.