Natural Gas

A friend sent this to me. From the “Independent” no less:

Funny but so, so true.

But hey, I guess I am using it too with this blog. Aaaahhhhhh!

Love this headline:

“How Canadians Are Finding The New Joint Pain Relief”

This is super dude as so many things pop up in my mind when reading this, or smoking this, especially given our new Canadian Cannabis laws.

It has come to this. Speculation that Breaking Bad actors Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul were going to get back together died when the two declared that they were going to collaborate on a new line of Booze called Mezcat:

Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul are posing for a picture: Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul attend the 66th Primetime Emmy Awards at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles on Aug. 25, 2014.

“Biggest let down in history,” one person commented on the Instagram post. Another wrote, “I’m sooooo disappointed I can’t even….shit”

“I thought it would at least remotely be related to ‘Breaking Bad.’ DISAPPOINTED,” added another, while farting.

Wow, go to social media then. That should help.

I am sure these guys or gals would agree with you:

The next Group of 20 summit will be held next November in an altogether more forbidding environment: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. It will take place in the modern surroundings of the new King Abdullah Financial District, with 59 towers and a few architectural wonders.

For a taste of the real Saudi Arabia, summiteers need only take a cab south on King Fahd Road. In about half an hour they’ll come to Deera Square, colloquially known as ‘Chop-chop Square’ for its frequent public executions.

“Kinda hard to get your head around this new development, a proud member of the UN was heard to say.”

It is coming to this, part two: “California Teacher Fired for Her Pro Western Civilization Views.”

Teacher Praises Western Civilization, Her School Fires Her

Coming too to a Canadian school near you.

Why is it that everything the left touches is destroyed?

As only a brit could do or say:

Sir Kim, the UK’s Ambassador to the US, said it had become “impossible” for him to carry out his £185,000 a year role after it emerged he dubbed the White House “uniquely dysfunctional” and said Trump “radiates insecurity.

OK, we’ll find someone else.

“You’re fired.”

Hey Kim, is that your real name? Nelson died over 200 years ago. Time to let the Brit BS go, don’t ya think. You are no longer in charge.

Hey Victoria, B.C. Here is a new revenue stream for you to consider:

Blue Jays, Dot…take note!

Found this little obscure headline. I can’t believe it’s news:

” Buy your natural gas like a pro”

See the source image

Or get it for free.


Quote of the week:

Cabot Phillips on American exceptionalism: ‘You don’t see people flooding the shores of Norway” or Canada for that matter.

It has come down to this: American hipster. They all look the same don’t they.

Love the man-bun though.

First time ever. A woman came to my door canvassing as a member of the Conservative Party of Canada, hoping to become our representative in the upcoming election. That has never happened to me in my entire voting lifetime. Nobody ever comes to my door…great. I think it is a lost cause though because my riding has voted NDP for the last 60 years…and done nothing for us. “We represent the working man.” the NDP say. A complete scam.

It’s a gas,gas,gas.

Have a great day.





The Fat Lady Has Sung

I am an old fart. No doubt. I have always thought of myself as a people person, non racist. Over the years I have come across many people of all colours and races. My brother in law is Black. My other brother in law is Japanese. I think they are great guys yet if I ever think of criticizing any one of their colour, as in Black Lives Matter, on the same grounds and on the same moral standards as myself, then I am attacked by the progressive crowd and considered a racist, a bigot, intolerant, red neck asshole…too bad but oh so sad…and wrong.

I am a Christian. I am proud of the fact. I am unapologetic about my faith. Yet because of that I am considered as someone who must be absolutely stupid, irrational, imbecile, idiot. How can you even consider something like God as being relevant if you cannot see him or her, or feel their presence, or believe in their incredible legacy of love and salvation for all of us? Well, it is a matter of faith. Something that is lost on so many people these days, especially the Governor General of this great country of ours. Someone who has ridiculed my beliefs only because those beliefs are non scientific in her eyes.

My faith in God has given me moments of sheer joy of being alive and incredible inspiration that I cannot even begin to describe to you. My faith has also helped me get through some very bad times such as the death of my wife and recently my brother. My brother, who was mentally handicapped, was a gift from God himself. He was angelic, had a joyful disposition and an innocence that could have only come from the Almighty. He was blessed and his blessings fell on all of us who knew him. I feel sorry for our Governor General and for all of you out there who lack faith, don’t believe in anything except yourselves or anything that you cannot see or that isn’t secular in nature...too bad and oh so sad. 

I am a patriot. I have served my country for 37 years. I loved it. I am proud of the fact. But in this country so many of my fellow citizens despise the military, the police, any person of authority. Why? Because they lack self discipline and self respect in their own right. We are considered losers by many of our fellow Canadians and especially from our political leadership. Too bad and oh so sad.

I am tolerant. I do not care if you are black or white or gray (grey) for that matter. Everyone is unique. Everyone is wonderful in their own right. Everyone deserves respect. Everyone needs love and should be loved. But when you attach identity labels to yourself and demean me because of the colour of my skin – white is a colour you know – or my beliefs, or my faith and expect me to cow tow to your every need or whim because of mistakes or prejudices of the past then who is the intolerant one here? Yes mistakes and prejudices have been made. In the past. But this is the present. I have faith in the future. Let us move on and not be so damn sensitive to every little thing out there. Unfortunately, as I have seen through some of the feedback I receive from this blog, many of you have lost your sense of humour or sense of fun. In your eyes everything is offensive. And when everything is offensive then nothing is offensive anymore. Fun has become a four letter word. That is too bad and oh so sad.

I am proud of my American friends. One of my very best mentors was an American. I met him and his wife in Hawaii when I lived there way back in 1973 / 74. He was a Navy Veteran of World War II. He treated me as an equal even though he was 50 to my 22/23. He was generous, intelligent, patriotic, religious and tolerant. He possessed many of the values that defined his generation as being the Greatest Generation. He volunteered for many years at St Jude’s Hospital in Memphis Tennessee. It was Ted who convinced me to join the Navy after I had sewn my wild oats. It was Ted’s life that inspired me to write Kurofune: The Black Ships. Ted was a wonderful man and a proud American. He passed away June 2011. He was 87. He died the year I retired and 37 years after I knew him. Coincidentally, I served 37 years in the Royal Canadian Navy after I met him.

So for all of you smug Canadians out there, Americans cannot be defined by a single politician or a political party. And to refuse to go to the United States because you do not like their duly elected President or to shun Americans as being ignorant ignoramuses and idiots – as I have heard too many times, then who are the intolerant ones here? Canadians are probably the smuggest, most holier than thou racists on the entire planet. And that is bad and oh so sad. And hypocritical.

I am not an intolerant racist. Yet whenever I poke fun at a particular group or an individual, or religion, or an event I am labelled a (insert whatever label here) phobe. Our free speech is under threat and when we lose that we have lost our freedom and we will ultimately begin to denigrate into totalitarianism. And that my friends will be very bad and oh so sad.

After considerable thought on my part I am finished doing this blog for the time being. It was fun doing it. I may come back to it in the future but for now I am just going to use it as a vehicle to promote my current books and to those that come.

For people like Derek, thanks man.

John aka Shakeyjay!


And for my last musical addition, a Christian song written by a Jew that is psychedelic during an era of piece and love. Talk about inclusiveness. Remember that. Trying to replicate Woodstock ain’t goin to work. By the way this song was way ahead of its time with respect to its Riff.


Sorry! Again…

The Turd’s latest apology to the Inuits – and none coming to ordinary Canadians – got me to thinking:

I am a Canadian………………….Sorry

Canadian lawyers send an official letter to the Pope asking him for an official apology for the Canadian Residential Schools. Never mind that there are also Anglican, Presbyterian and other denominational schools….oops sorry. That they were also in the United States and other Commonwealth countries and that not all residential schools were bad….oops sorry!

Residential schools? The gift that keeps on giving to Canada’s First Nations, which is an oxymoronic thing to say in itself…sorry. Indigenous peoples were immigrants like the rest of us…sorry. They just got off the boat, or land bridge, a lot earlier than us Franco’s and Anglo’s….oops sorry, can’t say that.

If I was the Pope, and sorry, I’m not, I would tell these lawyers to go to hell…oops sorry. Can’t say that. Hell doesn’t exist anymore according to the Pope. Okay then, go to purgatory. Yup, that should do it..oops…sorry about that.

And the Pope’s response?

See the source image

“I just have two words to say to Canada. Unfortunately  I cannot say in them public!” Sorry! “This is Latin sign language meaning F%$K Off.”

On behalf of all Canadians, I just want to say sorry to:

  • Japanese Canadians;
  • Chinese Canadians;
  • Jewish Canadians…is there such a thing?;
  • Italian Canadians;
  • Greek Canadians;
  • French Canadians;
  • German Canadians;
  • All Canadians from Europe, Middle East, Mongolia, Southeast Asia;
  • American Canadians although I don’t know why they would want to be;
  • Aussie Canadians;
  • New Zealand Canadians
  • Antarctic Adele Penguin Canadians;
  • Skuas and screw yas Canadians;
  • Polar Bear Canadians;
  • Seal Canadians
  • Shit Hawk Canadians;
  • Scandinavian Canadians;
  • African Canadians;
  • Indian Canadians;
  • Oceana Canadians;
  • St Helena Canadians;
  • Elba Canadians;
  • Russia Canadians; and
  • Anyone left out Canadians?

And all other hyphenated and decaffeinated Canadians out there. Why can’t we all just be……….CANADIANS!…..Ooops sorry, identity politics rules the Canadian…oops sorry to PETA….well, not really sorry!

We are Canadians and we’re sorry that we screwed you all. Just lodge a complaint with our Dear Leader Justin Trudeau and he will issue you an apology, with tears to boot (he is an ex drama teacher after all) and, if you are really, really lucky, he’ll give you all a hockey sock full of money.

Oh and sorry to the Montreal Canadians for sucking as a hockey team. And the Leafs.

And the next time you wage a major war in Europe, don’t call us to come and help bail you out………………….Sorry!

I’m sorry!

Song of the day:

Have a great Navy day



Nothing New

Getting into the dog days of summer. Very little to report.

Have a beer. Okay. Have you got the opener?

Gotta love those Brits…er Irish. Humour.

A Dutch swimming pool. C’mon in the Pilsner’s great.

I see the Tour de Farce is on:

I watched the Tour de France today on TV. Now there is an exciting spectator sport if I ever saw one. Like cross country skiing! And what does one call a large group of cyclists anyway? A turd? I mean a group of whales is called a pod, seagulls a flock. So what do we call a group of cyclists? Probably a herd. Okay, watching this herd of cyclists covering about 200 km was as exciting as watching paint dry, or watching the paint dry on a barn door.

”Paint dry? What is dat? “ My Dutch colleague asked.

“Well, you know, like watching grass grow.” I answered as diplomatically as possible.

”I don’t understand dis, paint dry or grass grow.” He looked at me with askance – a dumb sort of look on his face.

“Okay I’ll be as diplomatic as I can be.” I replied.


“Sucre blue” he exclaimed in his best Dutch.

“ You mean Sacre Bleu?” I corrected him.

”Dats vat I say, Sucre blew.”

So after 2 hours of watching a turd, I mean herd, of cyclists ride by the announcer comes on to inform us all – with bated breath – that there are only 150 km to go.

“Getting close” I thought to myself – ooooooooo

And what did the man on the street have to say after camping out for over a week on this stretch of a French country road to watch this herd ride by.

”So what do you think?” The French reporter asked.

“Well I have been out here for a week just to see this race!” The spectator exclaimed. And just as he was telling the reporter what he felt the terd, I mean herd, rode by in a flash.

“I missed the herd. I have been here all week.” Damn…..Sacre Blue.”

” You mean Sucre Blewd.” The Dutchman corrected him.

What this really boils down to is that like spectators all over the world they are really hoping and praying that this herd of terds will wipe-out.

Tour de Farce!

Time change? Do you agree or disagree with it. Well the UK Parks department at Stonehenge definitely have something to say about it: (Click on the link then open).


That’s about it for today. I also have a quote:

“When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.”

And a joke:

“A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
But always talked about having a son. 

They decided to try one last time 
For the son they always wanted. 

The wife got pregnant 
And delivered a healthy baby boy. 

The joyful father rushed to the nursery 
To see his new son. 

He was horrified at the ugliest child 
He had ever seen. 

He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can 
Be the father of this baby. 
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! 
Have you been fooling around behind my back?’

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 

‘No, not this time!'” 

This song will get your toes tappin. “Ramblin Man” by the Allman Brothers Band. Dickie on lead vocal and guitar. One of the best solos ever. 1972 was a great year for music.

Have a great weekend.