Stuff For A Thursday

I just received my tax return assessment. It ain’t pretty:

Got that right.

CRA (Canada’s tax agency) always tries to make you feel good when they’re screwing you or ripping you off:

Those pencil necks.


“Meghan Markle’s dress after the birth of her new baby shocked me” so says some fashionable fashionista. No this shocked me as she goes on to say:

“Wearing white is downright brave. The days and weeks after having a baby are basically equivalent to the heaviest period of your life. In the first week postpartum, the bleeding is so heavy that most women usually wear thick padded pairs of disposable mesh underwear they give you in the hospital, because the bleeding is so intense that you would ruin any underwear you personally own.”

Something I really do not need to know.

And with Harry, the fashionista continues:

“Harry looked as proud as punch to be wearing the black sports top, which also had the Invictus Games logo stitched on it. It spelt out “I am Daddy” in yellow. Aw shucks!”

Meghan looked as proud as a punch buggy as she said: “I am mommy” in red.  Aw yucks.

And this is news why? 


Amanda Knox is returning to Italy for a crimes conference. The title of her presentation is: “Stupid Is As Stupid Does.” It is expected that she will have an extended vacation there once her presentation is over.


Rhetoric between two of Canada’s top politicians. Doug Ford, Premier of Ontario and John Tory, Mayor of Canada’s largest city:

a person wearing a suit and tie: Tijana Martin/Canadian Press“Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? yeah” and on and on it goes. Take that…Kapow!


Summer ‘s here already with 26 degree C temps in Victoria.

Victoria lawn furniture…by Ford.

See the source imageSee the source imageSomewhere in Langford, or the Western Communities, Greater Victoria.

Meanwhile, in the Netherlands. Backyard furniture by Heineken:

Translation: C’mon in, the beer is fine.


Me and my girlfriend tried “Hello Fresh” for one week and this is how we look now:

See the source image


Slide 1 of 15: Relationship coach, motivational speaker and bestselling author Grace Cirocco says one of the biggest indicators that a partner may be tempted to cheat (if they aren’t already) has to do with distancing. “If your partner is spending less and less time with you," it could be a major red flag, notes Cirocco. "If your partner is making excuses not to be alone with you… In my experience, there is a distancing that happens for one person.” Don’t ignore these signs that you may need marriage help – before it’s too late.15 signs your partner may be cheating on you.

“C’mon Susan, I didn’t really mean what I said.” George pleaded.

“My name ‘s Charlene Chris”


Sometimes, as the world gets crazier by the minute, one could only wish for that asteroid’s deep impact:


Child abuse.

I see dead trees and CO2

The Greenies and the UN’s IPCC are getting desperate now for one world government. See asteroid above. Target? UN Headquarters in New York City…oh, and Stockholm Sweden.


New York University students want free college for all. “So we can Partay, Partay, Partay…then become like that girl like above like, I like her.”

“Like, we are like brainwashed and like we are like enjoying it”one Univershity (sic) of Hawaii stated as he was driving down the LikeLike Highway in Honolulu (see pencil neck video above).


Elizabeth May, Canada’s Green Party Leader of one…er now two…,is all excited as this new Green MP who recently won a By-Erection in Nanaimo BC.

“This win is a wakeup call for all Canadians.” she said categorically. “We have to destroy our economy right now to fight climate change and save the planet from ourselves.” as the new MP took his seat among the other 307 members, one of which is Elizabeth May.

Er from who Liz?


I prefer mine cooked:

Mongolian couple die of plague after eating raw Marmot.

Thanks to Maggie’s Farm


I am a veteran and proud of it. Yet Canada’s – Trudeau’s treatment of Admiral Norman, Canada’s second highest military man who was going to be charged with breach of trust (now dropped) is disgusting. I do believe many Canadians of millennial age, especially those who reside in British Columbia and Ontario (I said most, not all) do not have a clue. Sad state of Canadian affairs:

Obviously a Country and Western singer. True blue Americans – the so called deplorables – and Canadians. A brother and sister…hood that I am proud to be a part of. Thanks Mark and Mike and Dottie.

My take on a very famous Canadian WW1 battle. Vimy Ridge the battle that made Canadians proud.

The Ridge

Reflection’s wise. Its true insight flies

Throughout our minds yet forever binds us

To eternal life that is devoid of strife.

Just peaceful thoughts, not restless, nor caught

Into that web of war to tread,

Not normalcy! Pure madness bred our way to be.

Yet as one we brand an ancestral land

As our spirits rise to embrace God’s sky

And shed away our fears.

Our thoughts of home as our mothers roam

Among our graves, their faces brave

To the sadness here of men with fear

Yet for our nation’s prayers we died out there.

For a home sweet home, dear Canada

That knowledge bears a passion… flares

Within our hearts, to love; to shove

Our fears aside and run in stride

To get away from there.

Over top we’d go in whistled throes

That plundered us within gun sight foes.

Such madness…crushed, our brothers flush

With abject fear with those guns so near.

We’d pray in silence for our leader’s guidance

For in them we trust and as Canucks we thrust

So far ahead though we walked with dread.

With the barrage we shudder, our blanket cover

Dear God we’re scared.

The earth it shakes… please mothers take us

Into your arms and away from harm.

We’d fall in silence…there’s no pride in violence

We looked ahead for behind ’s our dead.

Their faces seared, no longer feared

Just a darkness now with thoughts that bow

To a light that’s gone, forever done.

For now it seems our passion stream

Is ebbing some for our time has come.

We fought for glory, each life a story

With silent breath we faced cruel death.

Our youthful brash ‘gainst madness, crashed

Into the mud, the cold, the blood.

That Ridge has been a horror scene.

A Ridge that bears our lives and shares

Blood curdling chills, then silence… killed.

And down we go with our cries now still

Just silent prayers to loved ones shared…so far from there.

The death knell rings for our lives and brings

A peace you share from that Ridge out there.

Is a peace we paved to our silent graves

With a peace we share in God’s love’s lair.

We were men of arms, a brotherhood

And beyond that Ridge, your nationhood.

With souls set free our spirits now see

Just peaceful lands and a national brand…your nation‘s free!

 

Yet horrendous loss this madness cost…Canadians!

Please…remember us

 

SJ……….………….Out

Eight Miles High

My friend sent me this little bit of turdism:

Who in the world is Jacques Bougie?

Jacques Bougie, who JUST happens to not only sit on the Board of SNC-Lavalin. He also sits on the Board for……ta da….The Trudeau Foundation.

It also turns out that he is a Director at McCain Foods….you know…Bill Mor-dough (Minister of Finance) wife’s family business. Really! Yes really.

But there is not a conflict of interest here. Move on.


Christians are being attacked and persecuted like no other religious group. But no response from the media or our leaders:

Easter Worshippers? I hate chocolate bunnies.  This is what Easter has come down to for many people.

See the source imageYeah, I am amazed too.

Religion of peace. Time to call a spade a spade but our leader the Turd will not comply.


Sad to be a Canadian these days. Thanks to the Turd our collective values have gone down the toilet. This is how Canadians treat a convicted terrorist. Khadr is even a hero to Canada’s Green Party Leader Elizabeth May.

Sick, sick, sick. The CBC ( Canada’s government run national TV network) should be tanked. And Trudeau brought to account. And on Easter Sunday. The same day Islamic terrorists blew up some 290 plus Christians, mainly Catholics, in Sri Lanka.


Like…like, wow man. Our future leadership is like….. wow.

Come to Canada man. The Turd has thrown out the welcome mat. Canada, where a new hip replacement procedure will take over 10 months of waiting.


Like, like taking coal from Newcastle comes this: Selling ice to Eskimos, at a higher price and with controlled access, as only a government program can do. Marijuana Sales in Canada Are Going Nowhere Fast, analysts, who are high on pot, say.


Love this:

Charlize Theron: My 3 Year-Old Boy Said She’s a Girl, ´So, There You Go!´

I am a ham sandwich, so there you go.


Gary Taube’s new book: Why We Get Fat. A whole book about that??

Does eating too much have anything to do with it? Perhaps!

Crazy man.


Music today sucks…bigly. Here is a 1960s band “The Byrds” with their Eight Miles High hit.

And another hit: Mr Tambourine Man

Music today sucks, bigly. Oh, I said that already.

Have a great day.

Oh and for my European friend: sorry about the Leafs man…well…maybe not!

SJ……….…………………….Out

 

 

Climate Refugees

I was wondering when this would happen. The UN now states that:

WaPo Claim: ‘How Trump’s border crisis is driven by climate change’

……it would now seem that all of those illegal migrants from Central America and Mexico are really coming to the US because of Climate Change.

Oh, I don’t know, but:

See the source imageJust another wonderful winter day in Canada and the northern United States.

As compared to:

See the source imageJust another shitty winter day in Costa Rica

See the source image

…or just another shitty winter day in Mexico.

Time to get out of the United Nations.


Love this. Tax time in Canada. I don’t know about you but I am clearly getting the shaft this year from the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). Widows and Widowers like me are sure getting the shaft – and not in a good way.

These guys, CRA that is, have a long reach. So be careful and don’t bend over in their company.

I am told that every CRA  accountant has one of these. Pencil necks!

Tax Return humour. That is so funny.

Thanks to Sadie for that one.


OTTAWA — The federal government is delaying a decision on the Trans Mountain pipeline expansion project to June 18. Nooooo, really?

Natural Resources Minister Amarjeet Sohi says the extended deadline will give the government more time to complete its consultations with Indigenous groups. Noooooo, really?

What 4 years is not enough time? That just reminds me of the definition of a consultant as someone who makes the simple…complex! We have that here in spades. My prediction? More delays. Of course.


a close up of a blackboardThe New Math

Mathematicians discover new way to do multiplication. Um sorry but isn’t that the old way?

Oh, I get it now. 1 x 1 = 11; 4 x 4 = 44; 10 x 10 = 1100.

This coincides with the new addition tables: 2 + 2 = 22, 4 + 4 = 44

This is called Millennial Math! (see video above).

I wonder how they are going to do division?


Talk about having one’s priorities straight!

In Andrew Morton’s Diana: Her True Story, the royal revealed that she felt an enormous amount of pressure from the media surrounding the birth of her first child, Prince William. In fact, it was so “unbearable” that she was induced – but they had to pick a day that didn’t interfere with Prince Charles‘ polo schedule.

Morton goes on to say that Charles was very disappointed that Harry wasn’t a girl, which he wanted badly…just like daddy.

And, he lost his polo match that day!


Celebrity’s RVs. This is a good one:

Leonardo Decraprio’s RV.

Slide 16 of 49: On the set of “Inception,” DiCaprio spent his down time in this trailer from King Kong Production Vehicles. Even from the outside, you can tell the 53-footer is spacious inside, with a solid gold exterior standing out from the cab pulling it. No wonder they called it a mobile mansion. Slide-out sides almost double the width from 8.5 feet to 16 feet for a total of 720 square feet.“Climate change is real man. Our planet will be destroyed by 2030 if we don’t all go out and buy one of these babies.” he was heard to remark.


The new Tesla “Crunch” by Elon Muskrat


Probably one of the Kink’s best songs evah. These guys were truly one of the most under-rated bands in rock history. This album – “To The Bone” is probably their best.

Have a great Tax Return day…..screw you CRA!

SJ……….……………………..Out

Just a Phase

And this is what our society has come to. The Chow Crown. Warning, watching short clip for too long will warp your mind senseless.

I’ll never eat again!

See the source image

And somebody, somewhere in America has been told to build an arc – and fast.

Crazy you bet but then again we baby boomers had this craze for sometime:

See the source imageShake that bootie.


College group wants to do away with Mr. or Mrs. It is not inclusive so they want to use this honorific: “Mx”….. terrific.

See the source imageAnd here I thought this was part and parcel of the new Your-sack test….er sorry, Freudian slip…Rorschach test. You know:

See the source imageOh yeah, is that a picture of my daddy… or a Star Wars warrior?


American ISIS bride who wants to return to America – that dastardly land of the free – had once urged her compatriots to slaughter all Americans. When confronted with this all she could say was – “Oh that! That was just a phase I was going through. I am just a misunderstood woman, that’s all, misunderstood and misinterpreted.”

Oh how times have changed. A baby boomer phase:

See the source imageor this: See the source image

Maybe this:

See the source image

Whereas her Millennial “just a phase” comes to this:

See the source imageJust a phase baby. No story here.

See the source imageJust a phase?

There is a song for almost every situation:

Another boomer phase: “The Ed Sullivan Show” And they bow even!


Oh yeah. KC and the Sunshine Band; Shake Your Booty. White Soul (oops sorry, white privilege) and a great song for a Wednesday – Hump Day…but it’s Thursday Shakey. No matter. Play it loud.

Ah, the innocent 1970’s. Those were the phays.

Have a great Navy day.

 

SJ………………………………Out

Going Ga Ga

This joke got me into a lot of trouble once:

“My wife told me take her somewhere  she has never been before, I said how about the kitchen?  I love this crowd”

I think good ole Rodney Dangerfield coined that one.

Or

“I ran into the kitchen one morning, all excited about something and yelled “Eureka” to my wife. She told me that I didn’t smell so well myself!


Kraft is in deep doo doo this week. Their latest batch of Heinz Ketchup had to be recalled for obvious reasons:

Clear labeled jars packed with various strains of dried cannabis flower on top of a dispensary counter.

What have you been smoking Mr Kraft? Of course he got caught allegedly dipping his doodle in a house of ill repute.

“Just checking my stock.” he was heard to say

After a really bad and limp week, the price of “Kraft” stock went up in smoke.


“Extremely rare set of semi identical twins is born.” Semi identical? What does that mean? I mean you either have identical twins or you don’t. I wouldn’t have thought you could have semi-identical twins. Oh wait a minute:

See the source image

Or how about semi identical triplets?

See the source image


Oxy-moron of the week: “Taylor Kinney has apologised after accidentally “liking” an Instagram comment which shaded his ex-fiancee Lady Gaga.”

Like, who is Taylor Kinney and like, who is Lady Gaga anyway and like, why is this news, like why, like.

“I like, I don’t really know. But like he should not have hit the like, like button on Facebook or like Instagram, or like Twitter, like you know. Like wow, I am like the boss:” Alexandra Occasionally Cortez But Generally Wacko chimed in to the discussion as she was driving down the “LikeLike” highway in Honolulu.

Like it or not I can’t believe this is news.


This latest headline from the Toronto Red Star: SNC Lavalin Scandal, a “constitutional” crisis.

a person standing in front of a crowd: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is embraced by then minister of justice and attorney general Jody Wilson-Raybould in the House of Commons in Ottawa on Feb. 14, 2018.

When I read that article while looking at this photo, I had to take a dump as well.


Dangerous’ Anti-Vax Ads In Toronto Can’t Be Removed By City

When I first saw this headline I thought it read:

Dangerous Anti-Wax Ads In Toronto Can’t be Removed by the City.

I dove right in to read this. Imagine my disappointment.


Gotta go and have my daily constitutional. I know, way too much information here.

I can’t believe what makes the, like, news these days.

Off to the gym. Good morning to the world.

Great song. From the soundtrack “Flash Gordon”, a really, really forgettable movie. I am told that Lady Gaga took her name from this tune, a really, really forgettable singer…….from, Live Aid, 1985

Have a great Navy day.

SJ……………………………………Out