Climate Change!

BTW, who made those Canadian Olympic uniforms for the Opening Ceremonies? Ugly. Only the German’s came close to that. They looked like front end beaver tails. And when was brown our national colour. Oh wait, shyte is brown isn’t it, and there is a lot of it in our House of Clowns?

Hey man. Got any climate change?

Because its 2026!

Don’t know but I do know that:

1. Climate change is a  feminist movement. Why, because it’s always changing man…..;
2. Carbon is a transgendered element of the Periodic Table. It is stuck between that borion “B” and that nitrogen-der;
3. Cow farts and flatulence contributes to Global Warming and is therefore a masculine threat. Why? Because women never, ever fart. And if they do their farts never stink. It must be stamped out immediately. See #1 above;
4. The other day an activist told me that Archimedes worked for big oil. This was in response to a discussion I had with him that he needn’t worry about major flooding and sea level rising if the Arctic Ice Cap melts
5. Eureka! The Arctic Ice Cap is not melting. It’s expanding. It must be a feminist movement as well. “Am I getting bigger. Do I look fat to you honey?. By the way, you don’t smell so well yerself;
6. Global Warming causes hot summer weather;
7. Global Warming causes cold, frigid winter weather, i.e., frigidity;
8. Frigidity is a feminist movement and must be stamped out at all costs;
9. Global cooling is therefore, a feminist threat, and must be met with #3 above;
10. Under peer review, as temperatures rise the warming effects of global warming will offset the cooling effects of global cooling as a result of the global warming. Got that? Yeah? cool! Chill man, er woman, er ne, ve or ze, er wo…oops…man;
11. Pesticides found in Marijuana! Ban marijuana now before it kills us;
12. Pot for kids! Ban pot now because you can’t call that kettle back;
13. Under the new marijuana legislation, every pot has a lid man, er women, er ne,ve or ze!;
14. Heaven help us if the kids are our future…see #12 above;
15. Hooray for natural gas…see #3 above.
16. Liquid natural gas? Well a good dose of Keopectate will take care of that;
17. Greenpeace and US activists protest First Nation sponsored aqua-culture…What?;
18. Ne, Ve or Ze. Clockwork Oranges.
19. Smoking kills but smoking pot is alright man. It’s out of sight, out of mind, and out of body; and
20. Thank God that I will be dead soon…see #s 19,14 and 12 above.

Madness!

“Old Admirals” by Al Stewart. A timeless metaphor of what happens to all of us as we age. To our younger generations, we become irrelevant.