Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Black Day in July

Let’s see how the beautiful game is doing today:

I told ya that there is more going on in the stands than on the pitch:

‘Get knocked up by FIFA players, win $$$ and Whoppers’: Burger King shamed for offensive ad”

‘Get knocked up by FIFA players, win $$$ and Whoppers’: Burger King shamed for offensive ad

“Bobble heads,” one woman shrieked, then laughed when she saw what she was dealing with. They sure ain’t whoppers.

“Hey, put that Gulag on hold” Russia beats Egypt 3-1. Wow. Russia has scored 8 goals in two games: 5 against the Saudis and now 3 against Egypt. That is impressive for football. But what is even more shocking and perhaps less impressive is that this is the most goals scored in a World Cup by one team since 1974? Are you kidding me?

“And Sergio kicks the ball over to Dmitri”

June 19th: 10 goals scored by 6 teams!

June 20th: 3 goals scored by 6 teams. I mean Portugal has Renaldo but they only beat Morocco 1 to zip. C’mon guys.

Now let’s get back to that whopper! What do ya say?

From the “History” repeats itself file comes this:

Erdoğan Warns of “War between the Cross and the Crescent” following Austria’s Plan to Deport Imans

Hey, remember 1529? Does 1683 come to mind Erdogan? The Sultan arrived at Vienna on 27 September 1529. The Siege of Vienna begins. The sultan lost that battle and left with his head between his legs. Literally and figuratively.

But, hey let’s try again, again as in 1683: The Ottoman (Turkey) Empire’s Pasha and his/her or zey, zit or zat siege of Vienna.

The Pasha struck again with his transgendered army wearing their silk white dresses. The Pasha got pashed around, lost bigly to the cross and had his crescent Adam’s apple wrenched and removed permanently by strangulation. Dastardly.

So Erdogan thinks he should try again. Turkey!

See, this blog isn’t always a waste of reader’s time.

From Maggie’s Farm: Where “No Ending a Sentence With a Preposition’ rule comes from. Some guy named John Dryden, a literary tour de force back in the day. So what are we talking about here: “You talking to me. Are you talking to me?”  No, no, no Robert. Profound use of the English or American language talk perhaps but totally wrong according to Dryden. You should have said: “With whom are you talking? Huh, hey, you, to whom are you talkin.”

See the source image “Yeah” F*&K Trump!” Profound!

I know, I know, it lacks punch, profundity as only a Hollywood actor like De Nero can dish out at Award Shows. He should have said: “With whom are you talking? Me? Me? To whom are you talking? Me, to whom?” or is that to who? No idiot, who’s on first.

But can you imagine talking like Dryden suggests and using his preposition rule downtown in a city close to you. An inner city perhaps.

See the source image  “With whom are you talking?”        Which, naturally led to this:

See the source imageBlack day in July.

The beat goes on. 1967!

Song of the day:

“With whom do you riot Sir?” With whom do you talk? Me?

Have a nice day.

SJ……………………………………….Out

 

Too Sexy

What happened indeed.

Good gawd. Is that considered male chic or male sheep? Bring out the wellies. I mean the guy (?) on the right. Too sexy??!!

Rachel Maddow breaks down on MSNBC when she learns of the baby and toddler shelters that have been set up at border crossings to deal with them then they are separated from their parents.

Fake news bring fake tears. Maddow laments about this latest scourge. Evil, evil man that Trump. Well, Trump is just following Obama’s directives but you’ll never heard of that because it doesn’t fit the narrative…………..Geesh.

Love this. Thanks to Maggie’s farm.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags are not good for the environment.

The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

The older lady said that she was right — our generation didn’t have the “green thing” in its day. The older lady went on to explain:

“Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

“Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.

“We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.

“Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

“Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

“We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the “green thing.” We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

“But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?”

So true.

Song of the day:

Have a nice day.

SJ………………………………….Out.

Tuesday Afternoon

Vezelay is coming soon. First to the Netherlands though to see family and friends:

See the source imageHey World Cup. More excitement:

First Day: 5 goals scored by one team. Not bad. Things look promising for exciting football.

Second Day: 8 goals scored among 6 teams for over 280 minutes of play. Things are going south;

Third Day: 8 goals scored among 8 teams for over 370 minutes of play. But Croatia and France account for 4 of those goals. Things are getting really exciting now;

Fourth Day: 4 goals scored among 6 teams. Some upsets though. 3 matches for over 270 minutes of play but only 4 goals. Wow:

Fifth Day: 7 goals among 6 teams, 3 matches for over 280 minutes of play. Manly;

Sixth Day: In progress.

So for over 5 days we have 32 goals scored among 28 teams. Just over 1 goal per team per 14 matches. Exciting stuff. Won’t lose any sleep over this one.

See, even this guy is excited. I told ya that more action is in the stands than on the pitch:

Slide 1 of 36: MOSCOW, RUSSIA - JUNE 17: Fans of Mexico enjoy the pre match atmosphere prior to the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia group F match between Germany and Mexico at Luzhniki Stadium on June 17, 2018 in Moscow, Russia. (Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images)

Shocked I tells ya, shocked. This gal just returned from the World Cup in a state of shock over all of the excitement. You can see it I’m her face:

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Take a good look at her sign. “I had to get home right away to protest?”

“What are you protesting,” a CNN reporter asked:

Her response: “You talking to me? Yeah you. Are you talkin to me?”

The look on her face says it all!

Religion of Peace!

Clashes in Kashmir after Eid prayers, one deadClashes in Kashmir after EID prayers. Their team failed to qualify for the World Cup! All hell broke loose. Hey can you say that?  Hell I mean.

FIFA states that Israel must compete in Europe not Middle East for World Cup qualifying, which is code for saying: “we don’t want you here.”

Meanwhile over in the Middle East, where many a World Cup participant hails from, comes these headlines:

Priest stabbed by Palestinians in Bethlehem. It would appear that the priest was rooting for the Saudis, a team that got butchered by the Russians, 5 to zip yer head off.

Another Saudi supporter, this time a woman, uses box cutters to stab two French people in France. She was yelling Allah Akbar while doing this nasty bit of business. When interrogated afterwards she told police that she was upset that France won their first match in the World Cup and her fav team, the Saudis, lost 5 to zip off their Russian heads.

Israel foils Hamas plot to bomb Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. This over the Saudis recent loss to the Russians at the World Cup. The Saudis lost 5 to zip off their Jewish Russian heads, don’t you know….wow.

Meanwhile back in Canadastan:

Why is it that when a Canadian Caucasian family starts a fire while camping it can be construed as a potential fire hazard and could cause this?:

See the source imageHang that Caucasian family

Yet when a First Nations family starts a fire while camping it is construed as a “Sacred Fire”. Perhaps, but it could still do this:

See the source image       “Yes, but it is still a sacred fire. To expunge the dark spirits of the land and bring new life, new birth.” Okay……………..Geesh.

“Sacre Bleu!”

“After all we, first nations people are nature’s caretakers. We harbour a great love for nature:”

Geesh

Have a great Tuesday…..Afternoon.

Song of the day…A Classic!

 

 

 

Unbelievable Violence

Check out my first novel: Kurofune: The Black Ships – A Novel of World War II. Just click on the link at the top right of this page. Getting great reviews.

Excerpt:

The sun was now getting higher and higher off the eastern horizon. The beautiful orange, yellow and reddish glow of the sunrise was tarnished however by the thick, black, brown and grayish pall and smoke plumes covering Betio and the immediate vicinity due to the high explosive nature of the Naval Gunfire Support and the air strikes. The air was becoming heavier and heavier and thick with the smell of detonation, destruction, explosions and cordite. It was the smell of death. These thick, black plumes of smoke rose out from under the coconut palms and the fields of the island then up and over the lagoon spreading out like a dark impervious blanket of terror. Rows and rows upon rows of coconut palm trees were scarred, naked and pitted; their ragged palm fronds hanging down, vertically limp, as if the life had suddenly been snuffed out of them by some horrendous outer worldly force. No tree escaped the carnage of the shelling that swept across the entire length and breadth of the island. Collectively the palm trees just stood there, motionless, ragged or naked in the light tropical breeze, as if standing upright in a desolate, mysterious landscape, like sentinels to hell itself. The landscape was pockmarked with deep and shallow craters, like the surface of the moon. And like the surface of the moon the island was lifeless. On top of all of that a light grey mist hung in the air like dust particles suspended, coagulating into and onto everything within this maelstrom of terror. Combat dust! Nature’s colour palette of tropical hues and shades of blue, green and turquoise surrendered to this monochromatic nightmare. It was an eerie sight to behold. 

The Naval Gunfire barrage continued raining death and destruction among the Japanese defenders. A 16 inch shell found its mark on one of the Vicker’s Guns ammunition dumps. The subsequent explosion of the ammo dump sent shells, debris and shockwaves from one end of Betio to the other and across the lagoon.

“Head’s down,” somebody screamed. Was Armageddon that far behind? Ted thought of this cataclysmic detonation?  It was horrendous. His whole world shook.

The naval bombardment had gone on now for almost three hours. Sooner or later it would be time for the Marines to turn to and head directly for the beach. The Marines of wave one held back in the lagoon at the departure line in their Alligators, LCT (Tanks), LCMs (Mechanized) and their Higgin’s Boats, but it would soon be time for the landing.  In the meantime they were getting anxious and sick of the tumultuous movement of the landing craft. Sea worthy they were not. Even Ted was anxious to go. Not really seasick, he was becoming nauseous watching his colleagues retch from the motion of the Higgins. The sea sickness and the dry heaving were horrific, as everything that had been in their stomachs from breakfast was now awash in the boat’s bilge. A sour, bitter and slightly acidic, pungent odor permeated the air among them. That combined with the nauseating diesel fumes and individual sweat was enough to turn anyone pale.

Ted was nervous, but not really scared, as he just wanted to go and get on with it.  Lou and the Reverend remained silent, even as they looked at one another for mutual encouragement, as if to say everything is going to be okay. The Reverend clutched his bible for his own spiritual support and emotional fortitude. Lou was a non believer yet one could see the abject fear in his eyes. Ted kissed the crucifix of his Rosary one last time. He also stole one more peak at the picture of Ruth that he had in his shirt top pocket, protected as it was from the seawater by a plastic sheath.

“Ted…I love you…stay safe…come back to me” her words to him.

Betio, Saipan? Hell on earth!

Unbelievable violence!

Song of the Day: “Hello darkness my old friend”

Have a great weekend. Read ya Monday

SJ……………………………………….Out

Pancaked

93 more sleeps to Vezelay! Cannot wait.

See the source imageJust a walk in the park, that’s all.

See the source image           Wow!

Check out Kurofune at the top right of this page. Great read. Buy it through Kindle E-Reader or in Softcover.

This just in:

Slide 1 of 9: Jennifer Lopez always puts on a mesmerizing performance when she's on the stage. The singer attended the 2018 Billboard Latin Music Awards in Las Vegas and wore two head-turning looks. First, she walked the red carpet in a sequined lavender minidress by David Koma. Then, she took the stage in another sexy outfit to perform her new song "El Anillo." Of course, it wouldn't be a true J Lo performance if she didn't choose a stage outfit that showed off her famous assets. The singer revealed her impressive dance moves and vocal chops in a scandalous Giannina Azar bodysuit, which got a whole lot sexier when she turned around. The beige illusion one-piece was embellished with crystal appliqués, and it hugged her curves perfectly. Read on to see all angles of Jennifer's shimmery outfit ahead. Related: Jennifer Lopez Wears Her Leopard Trench With a Blinged-Out Water Bottle, Because Glamour

Jennifer Lopez’s Sexy, Sheer Performance Outfit Will Have You Screaming……for the exits! Gadzooks. She gets paid for this?

‘Touch of Homophobia’: Hollande’s joke on Macron’s ‘passive’ role with Trump angers govt spokesmanMeanwhile, at the White House Macron and Trump are getting cozy. Same thing at Pyong Yang

Is this real apolotique in France and in Korea.  Heard in passing: “Hey are there any apparat-chicks around here Dong Un?”

“It’s Pyong me Moon. Can I call you Moonie”…….Cozy!

Breaking News: Singer Janelle Monae Out as Pansexual? This after her latest performance was panned by critics.

I only have two things to say about that bit of news. Who the &^%$ is Janelle Monae and who gives two &^%$ about this fluff anyway. I love pancakes – especially with Maple Syrup. Hey, I’m Canadian after all.

And what about these guys:

FILE - In this April 18, 2018 file photo, Bill Cosby arrives for his sexual assault trial at the Montgomery County Courthouse in Norristown, Pa. The prosecutors who put Cosby away said Sunday, April 29, 2018, they’re confident the conviction at his suburban Philadelphia sexual-assault retrial will stand. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum, File)See the source image                                    Brothers in arms. Disgustingly so. Is there a physical trait in all of this that gives them away? Perhaps the haircuts or the facial features. Are they twins?

Anyone seen Kevin Spacey lately?

South Korean President states that Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in bringing peace to the Korean Peninsula.

Lefties go berserk on hearing that remark. They all went apoplectic. Where’s Obama when you need him? 19th hole?

From the “Why people are sheeple” file comes this:

Macdonald’s increases their menu prices. Sales soar. And that is why trying to fight the carbon tax is a non sequitur. If they raise their prices their food must be great. Ah, no Virginia.

I love this:

Justinian Trudeau is set to become the world’s first Post National Modern State’s Cannabis Feminist. Justin has all the bases covered for his next erection! er…election!

Song of the day:

Happy Monday

 

SJ…………………………………………………..Out