Category: A Very Short Story

??. Today’s mystery village is? Ta….da

CONDOM

I kid you not. I have it on good authority that Condom is twinned with the French village of Mont-Coq that I mentioned a few days back. I kind of knew something was strange when I came across a factory in Condom, which was named “Trojan.” A little further down the main street was another establishment called “Ecstasy.” And a little further down the block was another factory called ” In Your Dreams.” They even had a Chinese restaurant here called “Ho-Hees-Hung .” Wow. What a  place. I love it.

But not a drug store anywhere.

Alexander Dumas lived here. He of Monty Python fame, erm I mean The Three Muskateers  and Artagnan.

The cathedral here is massive. More on that later.

Walked 24 kilometers from Lectour. Left at 6am and broke one of my own cardinal sins by walking in the dark with Honorario from Spain. This guy is a hiker on steroids. I could hardly keep up so when it got lighter out he went his own way and I met up with him later in CONDOM. It was overcast the whole way but with a perfect temp for walking. Honorario is very gruff. I don’t think he has a subtle bone in his body. I think he likes my company but you would never know it.

that is him in the background

Typical conversation with him would go like this:

WHY DO YOU TRY TO SPEAK FRENCH WITH ME?

Well I am just trying to be nice Honorario.

WELL STOP BECAUSE YOUR FRENCH IS TERRIBLE.

Oh ok.

SPEAK ENGLISH ONLY.

Yeah but you are deaf and your English is indecipherable.

WHAT!

WHAT YOU SAY? WHAT? NO, I GO NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SLOW FOR ME. SO LONG, GOODBYE.

And away he goes at warp speed.

Or at lunch today.

WHY YOU NOT HAVE WINE WITH ME?

Cause I am having a burger so I want to have a beer.

NO BEER. YOU HAVE WINE.

But I don’t want wine. I want a beer.

NO. NO BEER. WINE.

And like the soup Nazi from Seinfeld.

YOU NOT HAVE BEER. YOU HAVE RED WINE – LIKE A GOOD FRENCHMAN OR A SPANISH MAN.

But…but.

YOU HAVE WINE.

And that is about it. And then the exceptional asshole from North Dakota shows up. Thanks Lord.

There is more but not now.

Happy birthday to my sister.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

400 meter hill to climb into Auvular. Every small town in France is at the top of a large hill. It is manageable but a real problem at the end of a long day. Finally the rain has stopped. Supposed to be sunny tomorrow but I will stay away from the hills as it will be muddy and slippery which is bad for someone my age.

Auvular is a very old village situated on a hill on the Garonne River. There is a very old church here and a clock tower that go back to the 1400s. Amazing. And the countryside is stunning. But nothing open. Dead quiet. But the scenery is magnifique but one cannot live on magnifique.

People I have met are generally friendly with a few exceptions. The guy I have been walking with’ – Honario is from Spain and is amazing. David, a Asian who lives in North Dakota is an exceptional asshole. All my girlfriends have gone home. How I miss them. As I said earlier the older french people are super unfriendly and will not try to communicate with you while the younger french are fantastic. I wonder why that is? Perhaps the younger ones haven’t enough years or experience yet to become a grumpy old man like me. KILLING IT. Some friends back home would know. Well only one actually.

Cathedral in Lectoure, where I am at now.

I took a rest day today. I walked 10 kilometers then took a bus the rest of the way. You have to do that once in awhile. Some of the more serious pilgrims would shame me but I say to them: you do your Camino and I will do mine.

Completed 500 kilometers. Loving it in spite of the various challenges I have had and some erroneous comments from the reading public and the crappy weather.

My street tonight.

 

It is Tuesday so it must be Sunday in rural France.

 

A beautiful 19 kilometer walk along the Garonne canal. It was a walk between the Garonne River and the Canal. It would have been a wonderful picturesque scene except for the pouring rain. Today is the 7th straight day of rain. 3 days of solid hard core rain and 4 days of mist and light rain. Everything is wet or damp. You don’t want to stop as you get cold so you keep on going.

This is where I stayed last night. It was built in 1800 but doesn’t look a day over 400 years. At least the decor hasn’t changed. Purple, pink, mauve, red and orange pastel colours. Rather gay on steroids. But there is nothing wrong with that. The proprietor was great. He told me that all his girlfriends call him the laughing buda. You can’t see his gut but his bald head tells half the story.

He is the guy on the right. The other guy is Honario from Spain. He is an amazing guy. He has been my walking companion for a few days now. He is 66 but walks very fast. He has done 20 Caminos. I asked him why and he said well it’s a great way to lose weight bai. Yeeesss. Eh Jerry? Yes a true Caminoman. I laughed. I have  made many friends. All my girlfriends left me in Conque. I have made many others. I wonder how Paul is doing. St Paul I refer to him as.

Only picture that I took of today’s walk because it poured all morning. Covered off 19 kilometers in 4 hours Pretty good timing.

You can tell that the landscape is spectacular in spite of the weather.

The Garonne River. France had some beautiful Rivers: the Lot, Loire, Allier and the Garonne. I have gone swimming in two of them: the Allier and the Loire. France has some beautiful countryside. You have to get out of Paris to see the real beauty here. It is magnifique, as they say here.

The video will give you a good idea of the walk today. Beautiful.

An appropriate song for today:

 

 

 

 

My Gite today.

 

Sadie’s favourite.

 

Man that climb into Lauzerte was⁰ crazy. 400 meters to the top and the village centre. And at the end of a hard day’s walk. But hey we did it and had a cold one to boot. You can see the village in the background at the top of the effin hill. I can’t begin to tell you how one feels when seeing that at the end of the day. But it was rewarded sitting having a cold one in a square that goes back to the 13oo,s,

Ah, a field of sunflowers. God’s personal favourite. I can see why Van Gogh was fascinated by these wonderful flowers. The flowers probably brought him some personal happiness in a life that was one of tragedy and heartbreak.

Hail to the sun. Amazing how they awaken to a new sunny day. But today we are having our 6th straight day of rain. Everything is wet or damp. Ugly. It made walking hard. My high tech, sun reflecting,rain deflecting gizmo has proven to be ìnvaluable.

Made it to Moissac in good time and spirit. Our gite is something else. Eccentricity on steroids. Shades of pink, mauve, purple, and red adorn the walls.  The house was built in 1800 and the decor has not changed a bit. The house could have been a model for The Adams Family or the Munsters. I expect to see Lurch jump out at any second. Katie would love this. Our room is very girlish. I don’t mind as it is dry with a warm bed.