And not an old fart either. Well, not quite an old fart. After all 70 is the new 50…so they say.
Hallelujah
The new pope is an American, Robert Francis Prevost, who has taken the name Leo XIV.
“Those damn Yankees,” a Canadian was heard to say. “I am never going to visit Rome ever again…until that new American pontiff is….is….is…..well….is. So there.”
On another note:
To celebrate Cinco de Mayo I went out and bought a case of mayonnaise….Whaaat?…..Whaaaat? Did I say something wrong here??
Quote of the week.
Went into an organic health food store the other day and picked up a case of shingles.
Love this:
“No it isn’t,” says Bill Nigh, the science guy. “Who are these fools anyway? It will not be nigh until I says so.” Greta nodded in appreciation, as she sails away on her “Boat to Gaza.”
Love this:
After hearing and seeing this…now, the end is nigh, huh Bill?
I love Spam! I have three tee shirts to prove it. Y’know I have never received as many comments as I have received when wearing one of my “I Love Spam” tee shirts.I love processed cheese too. Nobody can make a grill cheese sandwich better than those made with Kraft processed cheese slices. Be honest with me now. You feel the same way too.I love hot dogs. When I was younger I always felt that my dream job was to work in a meat processing plant, processing my favorite food groups.Who says I am not an enviro-mentalist. I love plant food. I am well preserved going into my 74th year.Quote of the week:What happens when banks lose your money?They charge you a finder’s fee of course.My continued book pick of the month:
I Thought I’d Died and Gone To Heaven
An irreverent look at growing up in a parochial, conservative environment in pre-woke era Toronto of the 1950s and 60s.
Just click on “Buy on Amazon” to purchase on line. You can also get this book in audio format. Go to Amazon.ca (Canada) or Amazon.com (US Residents) and type in audible and the book title.
Another excerpt:
“The second shift comes out, more of the same. A little better coordination perhaps as both coaches are screaming at the players from the bench. Suddenly, a shot from us. Wide, puck ricochets into their corner. A Royals defenseman picks it up and slides it over to the opposite side. Another player fires the puck off the boards and down the ice. Icing is called. Line changes, puck is back in the Royals’ end. Just then their wooly mammoth comes off the bench and takes his place on the right side of the circle. Puck drops; the Royals’ center wins the face-off and hacks the puck back behind their net. Suddenly their man gets the puck and skates with it behind their own net and just stands there, weighing in on all that surrounds him. The rest of our team begin to skate backwards in rapid succession, some of us lining up on their blue line, the rest of us at centre ice. None of us would even dare to challenge this guy. He was not a normal twelve-year-old kid at six feet tall—with his skates on. Skinny, lithe, slippery as a snake, one would think that being that tall and that skinny that one could just puff in his direction and down he’d go. Unfortunately for us, he was not the gangly uncoordinated klutz. Far from it.
At this moment in time, I had no idea what must have been going through McDink’s mind. For he surely had to know what was coming his way. He did seem to back up way into his net as if he thought doing so would offer him some form of protection. Nope. Then out he slides, centred in the goalie crease and crouched with blocker and stick out to this left side with his glove hand to his right and arced slightly upward. McDink did look the part.
Art, the wooly mammoth of a player began to move, slowly at first, then accelerating. He deeked around a couple of his own teammates, then turned on an oblique angle across his own goal toward his own blue line. Faster and faster he went, with every cut of his blades. He leaned his tall frame expertly to his right, pulling the puck with him as he went. It was a sight to behold. Then he leaned to his left until he was on a straight trajectory to our goal and our goalie, McDink. The only thing standing in his way was about four of us, but we were in such a state watching this unfold that we couldn’t move a muscle, not that we would even try of course. From the centre line where I was standing, looking back at his end with him coming at us full tilt, you could see, sense, then feel the thrusts of his skates as he came straight for us. Like a rocket—whoosh! His eyes ablaze, his face contorted as if his every move generated g-forces. Woosh, woosh, woosh, as he flew past his own teammates, then past us one by one as if they, we, were standing still. Crunch, crunch, crunch, the sound of his blades cutting into the ice, leveraging and transferring that energy up into his entire being.
We let him be. Like Moses parting the Red Sea, we opened up a lane for him by moving backwards toward the boards on both sides of the ice surface. He had a clear and straight path to our goal. The only thing standing between him and hockey glory was McDink. What must he have been thinking, McDink, especially seeing us, his teammates, opening up the lane for the enemy such that there was no impedance between the mammoth and himself. In what must have been a nanosecond, McDink came out of his net ever so slightly; he looked to his right, then to his left, then straight ahead, his legs, his pads, forming an A-shaped hole that a Mack Truck could have driven through.
The fans were going nuts. The rafters seemed to be shaking. The ice was melting due to the friction and fire coming from the blades of the Royals’ star player, as he was crossing centre ice in a flash. McDink made his decision after a split second of determination, analysis, and assessment of the situation. McDink again turned to his left and then to his right and in another split second turned and ran on his blades to seek the protection of the net. Not inside mind you but the back, outside portion of the net itself—BEHIND THE NET. And there he crouched; no, he kneeled, as if praying to his Lord to protect him, to save him from this terror on ice.
There was stunned silence throughout the arena. The Royals star couldn’t believe what he was seeing. From his perspective, all he saw was an open net with a large blob-like mass crouched, kneeling and blubbering, behind the net. He stopped, looking around as if he was not quite sure on what to do. He shook his head a few times as if in comical disgust, then sauntered ever so slowly down to the goalie crease and tapped the puck, gingerly, into the net. All of a sudden, laughter broke out from the fans. The players on both benches banged their sticks against the boards, screaming and hollering in their amazement. The referee and linemen raced toward the net, expecting some sort of scuffle between the Royals player and McDink. McDink seemed to be in total shock and scared shitless. I am told they had to pry him away from the backside of the goal. But they couldn’t get him up. He was a blabbering, blubbering nincompoop. I do believe, though I can’t be entirely sure of this, that he pissed himself and soiled his shorts. In due course they had to carry him off the ice. The game was over.
But before all of that happened, Art skated up to McDink and in a loud, sarcastic, but assertive voice told McDink in no uncertain terms: “Remember the Royals.”
And he did, and we did, for years to come.
In a few years’ time, McDink discovered religion and became a born-again Christian. Like so many of his comrades. Perhaps it was atonement for the summer of love. Nevertheless, in his newfound passion and state of grace, he really became obnoxious!
I lost track of him after I joined the Navy.”
No helmets. In the US they have “Friday Night Lights.” In Canada, we have “Friday Night Fights.
I believe this was around the last time the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup. I was in diapers then and I truly believe I will be in diapers when they win the cup again!
Quote of the week:“Make Love, Not War” was not the rallying banner call we all thought it was. It was but a thought process that produced a lot of bastards”
My book pick of the month:
I Thought I’d Died and Gone To Heaven
An irreverent look at growing up in a parochial, conservative environment in pre-woke era Toronto of the 1950s and 60s.
Just click on “Buy on Amazon” to purchase on line. You can also get this book in audio format. Go to Amazon.ca or Amazon.com (US Residents) and type in audible and the book title.
An Excerpt:
“The next day and the days after that next day at work were
gruesome. I may have been making three dollars and forty-five
cents an hour, but no amount of money could compensate the
physical pain and misery of that job. Shovelling gravel into those
inanimate buckets, hour after hour, day after day for the hottest
summer on record was pure unadulterated torture. I was
dreaming of them. My bucket list! And the only sound heard,
besides Zal’s taunts for more “fucking pitch” being the grunts
and groans from our bodies and the huffs and puffs of our
laboured breaths with every shovelful of gravel taken. Sweat just
poured down every crease and crevasse of our beings. Taking
stints up on the flat roof itself provided no relief with a hot
glaring sun beating down mercilessly on our lithe bodies. The
humidity was a killer. The hard physical work and the potential
for dehydration made it harder and harder to keep our pants
above the waist. As roofers we had the plumber’s crack in
spades. It was kind of comical watching everyone on the crew
continuously pulling up on their pants or tightening their belts as
if stricken by a nervous twitch. On top of that, by the end of the
day, our calloused hands were the worse for wear as newly
formed blisters would crack, then burst, then sting, as the flayed
skin would shed and coagulate with the pus and the blood, which
became an ugly brownish red in colour. The soles of our work
boots expanded vertically, about two to four inches, as the tar and
gravel stuck to the undersides of our boots as we walked around
by the area of the hot tar kettle, the conveyor belt, and the adjacent
pile of gravel. It would take us some time to scrape the
gooey mess off of our boots at the end of the day. But we felt so
tall in our high gravel heels!
“End of the day? Sore and bruised and filthy dirty in sweat
and dust. The long ride home on the bus and subway, lost in
thought, dead to the world, and praying hard and fast for rain on
the morrow or watching the clock, counting hard the seconds,
minutes, and hours before the whole miserable routine would
repeat itself. Please, dear God, let it rain tomorrow for when it
rained roofers didn’t work. But of course it was Murphy’s Law
and not God’s law that ran the day for it only rained on the
weekends.
“The summer finally ended. I was in great shape physically,
well-tanned, and had a few bucks saved in the bank. I helped out
at home financially, naturally, but I didn’t have to give the
majority of my earnings to my parents as I no longer went to the
Catholic private high school for boys. I thanked God for that!
And looking back on that hot and humid summer, my first real
well-paying job, I could have easily said that life was good. In
some respects that summer was Pitcher (sic) Perfect.”
How on earth do we elect such a man as Carney as our Prime Minister? A man who has three passports, tax havens, and who considers himself a European first. Are we that stupid?? I guess we are.
RB Bennett, Canada’s 11th Prime Minister, has been considered to be Canada’s worst Prime Minister, that is until Trudough came along. He became very rich due to his law practice, various investments, and taking on leadership roles in multiple organizations; he was one of the wealthiest Canadians during his time. Sound familiar?;
Liberals win yet again so I guess they are Canada’s natural governing party, as they so arrogantly claim;
Trump won this election. Without Trump, Mark Carney and the Liberal Party had no platform. So tell me how is it that Canada is not the 51st State of the USA?;
No talk of issues impacting the lives of Canadians, especially our young people. No, no, no this election was all about Trump and the boomers’ sense of security;
I feel for my grandchildren as their future now looks bleak. No home ownership, no good job prospects, just living off the dole and largess of government – just what the Liberals want. After all, Mark Carney is on the board of the World Economic Forum (WEF). Their motto? “You will own nothing and you will be happy;”
The effin boomers have fucked us yet again with their selfish self centered view of life. I am a boomer myself but I can see all of the red flags that this Liberal party and leader brings;
Net zero incoming. Alberta, maybe Saskatchewan, outgoing;
More scandals inbound;
Canada is now, or will soon be with ESG, the wokest nation on the planet;
Under Carney, and the “Electric Vehicle Availability Standard” that was implemented by Trudough, all cars sold in Canada have to be electric by 2035, 60% by 2030. I will have to buy a new gas guzzler just before that fact becomes a reality – if I am still alive;
No pipelines, no fossil fuel extraction, no mineral mining, no lumber, no meat consumption, no innovation, no R n D, no economy. Canada is a resource rich country yet the liberal’s notion of a post national state does not include its natural resource potential;
Watch the brain drain begin;
Canada’s military is fucked!;
Canada’s electoral system sucks and has to change;
More Liberal induced taxes. They will be coming after your house equity next – count on it;
Five minutes after the polls closed in British Columbia our national news network, the Liberal government funded Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC) announced a Liberal win. Five effin minutes. Now tell me how Canada is not run and controlled by Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes;
The CBC dodged a bullet. Whew for them…NOT!;
Most central Canadians think Canada ends at the Ontario, Manitoba border. The west is irrelevant. After this election?? They’re right;
Many Liberal candidates feigned resignation under Trudeau. “I want to spend more time with my family” – they all said in unison (Fraser, Anand et al). That is code for: “I have no chance of winning under Trudeau so I am taking my ball and going home.” New leader? “Oh, after second thought, I’m running again so move aside new candidate and to hell with my family”;
From the start the Liberal leadership race to replace Trudough was a scam;
The Canadian electorate is unsophisticated and stupid. They deserve what they get. Stand by for heavy rolling as we say in the Navy. The swells are building and the seas are high and in a confused state. There is no sea anchor on the planet that can save Canada from itself; and
Mark my words Mark Carney. You may be the new emperor but like the last one, you have no clothes!;
That is it for me. I have spent many hours and blog posts over the past few years trying to reveal and expose the corruption and phoniness of the Liberal Party of Canada. After today’s vote that was all to no avail.
No more Canadian politics for this blog. This is the last one. I am going to sit back and, unfortunately, watch the decline, because:
“I’m alright Jack”
I will focus on my books – all fiction – just like the Liberal Party of Canada.
Note: I was a Liberal until after Jean Chretien’s win in 1993. I became a Conservative after receiving a frontal lobotomy.
Available through Amazon.ca or .com or .uk or . whatever.
By the way. All of my books are now in audio format. Go to Amazon.com, or Amazon.ca. Type in “audible” colon and then the books title (see above) in the search bar.
It is voting day in Canada.
Get out there and vote,
legally speaking of course.
And then there was light.
In the beginning there was a big bang. And from that big bang a nation was born. And that nation was China, a maker of crap and a developer of human excrement, suffering and sewer oil. A true interloper and champion of totalitarianism and consumer product mediocrity.
And the globalists were happy.
And out of that big bang, on the first day, a city state was born. And they called it Wuhan. And that city was virulent.
But the globalists plugged their noses, held their breaths, farted and smiled as they were all very, very happy. Woo…Hoo, Wuhan!
And on the second day a new organization was born. And they, the globalists, called it the United Nations. An august body that was formed in July. Therein followed by elitism in the World Health Organization. Who?The World Health Organization stupid, and the World Economic Forum (WEF)- woof! Lead by doctors who are not really doctors. But true followers of the cause for world domination. But they all love Wuhan and China. They virulently love Wuhan. “This is our ticket,” they all yelled in babel confucius…er…confusion.
And then little nation states were born. One was called Kanada. Why was it called Kanada? No one really knows, least of all the globalists.
Don’t look at me
But Kanada was a good little player and supported the globalist cause. Kanada admired China’s dictatorship because they could turn their economy around on a dime…
…something Kanada truly envied but was hogtied in implementing their post nasal drip…er post nation state dream. So Kanada went rogue and prorogued.
And the globalists smiled…and were very, very, very happy with Kanada.
And on the third day something flew out of the Wuhan nest. And it was not good but the Globalists were very happy. The non doctors of the UN and of the WHO’s on first, with the WWF…er WEF… on second were virulently ecstatic for they had found their cause…and their power broker. “Oh, I don’t know…”it was a force multiplier. Whew! And the cause was viewed as good…for them…for mankind…for them…for people kind…for them. It was called “Winter Knockdown” followed by “Summer Slam.” This was viewed as being very good but not for the feint of heart.
The globalists smiled for they were very content with their progress to date.
And on the fourth day a plague was born. A virus…so contagious it forced all of the Chinese to wet their pants and sell them off at their wet markets, which were located across the city. The virus was more virulent and progressive than their sewer oil, a hot commodity of the Chinese market.
Yummy
And the globalists and Kanada cheered for they had found their catalytic converter…er cataclysmic conversion…to transform mankind into their own likeness. Their god Gaia had been born. And they were happy and pleased with themselves. They wanted to spread the good cheer and this they achieved in dramatic fashion during the new year from China. “Go out and multiply” was their religious cadence to the beat of their chopsticks. And this they did…all over the world. Italy, Spain, Kanada, France, UK….It became…Chinese food for naught.
And the globalists were very happy indeed.
And on the fifth day something extraordinary happened. The virus, or plague, spread all over the world…to the delight of the WHO. Who? The World Health Organization stupid, and the WEF, and Kanada, and Zoro, Faucet, Yates and a few other global potentates.
“Lockdown, lockdown” became their rallying cry. “But not for me” they cried. “For thee.” For thee are like sheep, especially Kanadians from Kanada. And they were pleased and righteous…er, no leftists, as they gave out millions of masks developed by their chosen people…the Chinese…that had exceeded their best before date. They were crap. They were useless. But no matter. “Wear that mask.” So says the WHO. Who? The World Health Organization stupid. For they are ineffective. And Yates was extremely happy to reduce the world’s population by 6 billion people. If the masks don’t do it, then the vaccine will. And if that doesn’t work well?….the Chinese sewer oil definitely will. Zoro chimed in to the tune of AN..TEE…FAH; AN…TEE…FAH; AN…TEE…FAH, and Baseball League Major; Baseball League Major. “Er George, not MLB spelled backwards but BLM for Black Lives Matter.” And Kanada’s Trudeau smiled and showed off his socks, which were sooo vibrant in virulent colours.
No matter. The globalists all took a knee because they were extremely happy with their creation. They worshiped Gaia.
And on the 6th day, things finally fell into place for the globalists. “It was never about the plague.” Dr Knumbnuts of the United Nations revealed. “So true,” Dr I.M Coughin of the WHO agreed. Who? The World Health Organization stupid.
“We took our lead from Kanada.” they said. “Kanadians will do anything they are told to do. Wear useless masks? No problem. Wear it on.”
And the globalist were very happy. For on this 6th day they tied this plague to Mother Earth, Gaia, their god, that Gaia was not happy and that the Plague of the Wuhan Virus was really caused by Climate Change / Global Warming and not some mixture of sewer oil and Chinese food. Gaia was not amused. Kanadians went ballistic with joy and were sooo smug in their happiness.
“Time for a major reboot of the World Economy, Religion, Education and Governance.” Dr Banderas from Mexican’t proclaimed as the lead procrastinator of the United Nations Security Council. Dr Freeourland, Kanada’s lead representative of the WHO, responded in kind. Who? The World Health Organization stupid. “This plague has given us a golden opportunity to reboot the entire world economy placing Gaia as our head.” She said. “Green, green… green it will be.” as she blew a huge greenie into the face of Dr Banderas, sitting on her far left because she forgot to sneeze into her inside elbow, which was the accepted sneeze protocol although her elbow was laid bare by her sleeveless dress.
And the Globalist were very happy indeed for they had their hands firmly crunched on the gonads of the world. They had their god Gaia. They had their holy trinity of fear, terror, panic. They had Kanada. “You’re all going to die.” became their mantra, their creed, their gospel. And their rosary of anxiety, depression and violence was forced upon all the disbelievers to submit to their credo. “Just look to Kanada.” they re-snorted…er…retorted.
And on the 7th day they, the globalists, rested for they had achieved their goal for world domination. The procrastinators of the United Nations, the non doctors of the WHO…who?…the World Health Organization stupid, and the World Economic Forum were extremely happy.
And then there was darkness!
Available through Amazon.ca or .com or .uk or . whatever.
Yummy
And on the 7th day they, the globalists, rested for they had achieved their goal for world domination. The procrastinators of the United Nations, the non doctors of the WHO…who?…the World Health Organization stupid, and the World Economic Forum were extremely happy.
