Woodstock West

Woodstock had just occurred this very summer. August 15-18, 1969. It was all the buzz among the hippy counterculture, but even more so with music fans like Timmy and I.  Not to be outdone by the East Coast, some copycat festivals began to spring up here on the wet coast, everywhere it seemed, every weekend, on some non descript farm in the farmland east of here.  Most were abject failures, but it provided hippy food for thought and something to talk about.  After all it must have been tiring for the hippies to talk about the alphabet all day long.  As it turned out that there was music festival planned for a farmstead not too far from this coastal city.  I believe they were calling it “Strawberry Fields,” or something equally profound like that.  Timmy and I decided to check it out.

We drove out to the prospectus.  And just like Woodstock it was automotive gridlock. We decide to park our car a few miles away and walk in. Turned out to be a good plan as many of the autos became bogged down in the mud and sludge.  Yes it was raining, just like Woodstock.  There was a great deal of cussing, yelling, pushing and shoving going on among the various drivers and bikers, especially the bikers. It was automotive pandemonium, definitely a frightful, fitful, love-in man as the fists came out from every which way from Sunday. And this was only Saturday.

We skirted around the problems, found the main gate, paid our fee and walked in.  And what a sight to behold. Utter chaos. The end of the world as we knew it. This must be what Armageddon is going to look like. A sparse, barren, rain soaked, mud caked, garbage strewn landscape. Passchendaele couldn’t have been worse. Probably around 10 thousand hippies all gathered together in one place. All smokin, all tokin, all jokin, all smilin with their coke-ins and love-ins.  Stoned out of their ever lovin minds. And the music hadn’t even started yet.

A tie dye convention was suddenly before us. Young women in their tie dye ankle length skirts, gum boots, tits hangin out of their tie dye tees, smiling, waving, weaving and smokin, laughin at no one in particular.  Bare chested, long haired men, dirty faces, filthy fingers and knarling nails quaffing booze, smokin joints, hauling ass – literally and figuratively.  It was a lice lover’s paradise. And Dante himself would have been impressed but challenged to describe this scene. He must have had Strawberry Fields in mind when writing his Divine Comedy and its depictions of Heaven, Purgatory and Hell, especially hell. Strawberry Fields must have played an important part of his allegorical travels through hell.  Whatever, St John’s volunteers were sure to have a busy two days, and, Johnny on the spots, while well dispersed throughout the grounds, would be sorely lacking with an estimation of about twenty thousand visitors expected per day. Shit everywhere man! And lots of it! I made a mental note to get the hell out of here before darkness set in.

We made our way toward the large staged scaffold. It was impressive: large amps everywhere, lights strewn about the structural framework, drum sets, guitar racks, mics, black staging curtains and men and women scurrying about like ants on the stage itself. Organized commotion in disarray. It looked as if they knew they were well behind schedule. Timmy and I must have looked a sight standing there before the stage watching all of this unfold.  Here we were, two guys with relatively short hair, conservatively dressed, prepared for the inclement weather. We were square. We knew it. Pat Boone like.  Completely out of place…man. We did take a gander at the musical playlist beside the stage.  Never heard of any of these bands. Locals no doubt but it didn’t really matter as no one would be able to hear the music anyway.  And just like Woodstock they would be too stoned.

And just like Woodstock there was the requisite pond. There were already fans playing in the water, peeing in the water, shitting in the water. I decided to avoid the water. There were also tents, conveniently called pavilions scattered willy nilly about the grounds.  Hippy entrepreneurs putting it to the man by charging exorbitant prices for the basic necessities of living in a farmers field with twenty thousand of your closest friends. There were craft pavilions; classes on how to make tie dye pavilions, bong pavilions, know your grass pavilions and not the garden variety type either. And the ever popular oxymoronic sounding pavilion on how to take acid safely.  It was at one of these pavilions that I ran into Sandy, who was already stoned out of her mind. I think she recognized me as she came over to me and stood in front of me looking studiously at me and at me face. Studying every facet of my facial expressions, I could only imagine the contorted psychedelic images rummaging and racing through the dark and warped cornices of her mind as she inspected the blackheads on my cheeks. She smiled, then grinned, then grimaced, all of the time about five inches separating me from her bulging eyeballs with their dilated pupils.

“Hmmmm” was all she could muster in profound conversation.

I asked her if she brought her bodyguard with her, y’know, the guy with the sawed off shotgun.

“Hmmmm,” was all she could say. Still looking at my facial expressions. Head bobbing from side to side.

“Hmmmm” She lifted her fore finger, pointing it at my face, making imaginary circles in the space in front of my face from my forehead down to my chin.

“Hmmmm” then she giggled, started to laugh then in flash, stopped, grinned and ran off with one of her cohorts.

I turned to Timmy and said “Let’s get the hell out of here. There’s going to be trouble”

We left immediately. The hippy lifestyle just wasn’t for us.

Climate Predictions…NOT

That the Arctic would be ice free by 2014, then 2016                                  NOT

That the polar bear would be in dire straits by now.  Last I heard the band was doing alright with the members that they had.                                                                   NOT

That the Arctic ice melt will drown North America. Ever heard of Archimedes and his principle?  Eureka, I thought……………………………………………………………….NOT

Mt Kilimanjaro’s snow cap would disappear by now.                                  NOT

Some people are making big money out of this                                           YUP

 No snow by now, by golly, ever again,                                                       NOT    Damn!

Sea levels are rising. At least not where I live. The tidal gauge hasn’t changed since 1853. Seychelles are still there though the cabinet moved back on to dry land.   NOT

More severe weather. Only in the minds of the MSM                                 NOT

More floods, more wildfires, droughts, tornados, hurricanes                      NOT

Severe weather. Oh, you mean stormy weather, etta boy                            NOT

Eastern Seaboard will disappear. Damn, no more Boardwalk?                   NOT

Governments are collecting millions in taxes over this                               YUP

“Are you satisfied? That you steal our money and make jackasses out of us all??”                                                                                                           NOPE

 (Katherine Hepburn to Burt Lancaster in the 1956 movie: “The Rainmaker”)

 

And millions upon millions and millions of people still believe this shyte.  YUP

 

When I was growing up we were only concerned with or heard about the weather in our local hood. But today we learn of, or are aware of, floods in Bangladesh, Hurricanes in Haiti, Typhoons in the Philippines, Wildfires in New Mexico , Earthquakes in Italy, Drought in Sudan, the very instant that they occur. So no wonder it seems as if the entire planet is on a “tilt-a-meter.” Yet these events have always occurred. The only difference being is that today, unlike 30-40 years ago, global communications, the fear mongering UN, and apocalyptic reporting by the MSM have brought these naturally occurring events into our living rooms on a continuous basis……..Geeesh!

Unless we begin to push back, we are doomed                                               YUP

Baseball and Other Things

Hey Jay, what’s a shakin today?

Oh hello George. Not very much I am afraid to say. Can’t seem to find any craziness out there. Even with this erection coming…er election!

Did ya watch the game last night George?

What game Jay?

Cubs, y’know baseball? Historic win and all that? 1908.

Cable Guide said 1900, er 7pm Jay. 8 minutes for the anthem – wow. Who destroyed it?Mariah?

Never mind George, never mind.  All I can say is they, the Cubs, cut a 108 year old drought.

All in the name of Climate Change Jay?

Hey, why not George. They blame haemorrhoids on climate change so why not baseball droughts.  All I can say is that there is hope for the Leafs yet!

Go Sens Go!

Only problem I have with this series is that game went on for 4.5 hours for 10 innings. Sometimes I think the managers out-manage themselves and drag the game on.

I can remember the Detroit Tiger”s World Series win back in 1968. I think Denny McLean won 30 games for the Tigers that season. Mickey Loliches won 3 games during the series, with McClean winning one, game 6 I think. Now think of that? 3 games won by one pitcher. Never see that now because it’s all about the Managers, not the players George, the Managers.

Y’know, the average time for the average game back then was about 2.5 hours. Why? Well they have a rule in baseball that they rarely follow today where a pitcher has 20 seconds to throw the next pitch once the catcher has thrown the ball back to him.  And they didn’t scratch their nuts or scratch their assess as much back then as they do now. And…and the batters stayed within the box… or they were out.

One out, runner on third and what does the Cub’s manager call??? A bloody bunt! Or, yanking Jon Lester after 3 innings because an Indian hit a single off of him. In comes Chapman for the subsequent walk, then a double then a home run. Game is tied. I felt sorry for Chapman. Good thing the Cub’s bats didn’t have Blue Jays written all over them as they were able to rally in the 10th! Good win!

Sounds great Jay. So, anything else new and exciting?

Snow back east.

Already Jay!

Yup, in Ottawa and New Hampshire. Nothing like this seen since the 1960s, snow they say!

And in response to this crazy weather, the Canadian Government wants to get that Carbon Tax going.  Seems that Trudeau is going to reap what Harper snowed! I know, I know…groan.

Good one Jay, good one.

Oh and from the World is Flat crowd:

US Hurricane expert is wrong because he dared to state that severe storms such as hurricanes have been in decline in the US over the past 11 years. It doesn’t fit the narrative so the science is wrong and he’s no expert…so they say. And who are they? Well, they are the same folks who brought us the story about those university students who believe that witchcraft exists and provides mankind with a credible explanation for the natural world, as opposed to Newton, or Archimedes, as to why and how witches throw lightening bolts at each other. They’re pushing to make it an Olympic Sport I hear.

Oh and Archimedes works for Big Oil George. Remember that.

I know Jay, you keep mentioning that Archimedes guy.

I just can’t help it George. Stupidity breeds contempt.

Another timbit George from the Halls of Macademia nuts in that in Canada canoes are symbols of imperialism, colonialism and aggression.  Blame it on those dastardly Brits and their evil empire. You know: Magna Carta, rule of law and all that, what? Why would anyone pay good money to attend university these days is beyond me.

Does that go for canoodling as well Jay?

 

Shakey Jay…out

A Rat’s Ass

I couldn’t give a rat’s ass:

About the US Election;

About who wins the US Election. Yes Virginia, the sun will rise on November the 9th;

About Carbon Taxes or “The Air that I Breathe” (by the Hollies – 1974);

About the Toronto Maple Leafs. They won their first game this year. They’re already planning the parade!;

About Crap n Trade;

About pro-nouns or the anti-Christ;

About a Trans-am;

About Trans-Canada pipeline;

About Trans fat;

About Trans Gendered. Hey let Ze, He or Hir be him, her, or they, or whomever

About Climate Change;

About Global Warming;

About Global Cooling;

About space weather;

About weather

About Communities of Parties;

About Moonbats of Parties;

About Parties!

Heard last night that one lady wanted to give trick or treat-ers a toothbrush and some dental floss! I dearly hope she didn’t give out her address or where she lives as her house would surely be a prime target for the “egg man.”

About bad teeth;

Local news also ran a fairly lengthy segment about the fire hazards of Halloween costumes. That and the dental floss crowd will surely freak out new parents with young trick or treat-ers.

About do-gooders and Gladys Cravitz;

There is a danger around every pumpkin Virginia;

About white pumpkin lattes;

Jack-O-Lanterns trigger micro-aggressive behaviour;  or was that just the sugar kicking in;

About safe spaces

Let kids be kids. Shut the front door for heaven’s sake;

About risk averse-ers;

Why do the media always focus on the negative?;

About the MSM;

Victorians complained about too little rain this past summer;

About the enviro-mental- lists

Victorians complain about too much rain this October;

About the LNG in the Saanich Inlet

Archimedes works for Big Oil

Eeee Gads!

Don’t worry, be happy – as Bobby McFerrin would sing. Whenever I feel low I think of this song.

It’s All Saints Day. It’s also my wife’s birthday and she is a real saint.