From the Headlines

Image result for pics of maldives beaches                                                Maldives will last to Infinity

Can’t make this stuff up. Taken from today’s headlines:

  • Meghan Markle leaving suits? I didn’t know she wore one. BTW, who the F%$K is Meghan Markle;
  • No Man’s Land. An Island where women rule. Can I move there?;
  • From the classy sports role model file: Ex CFL’er charged with murder. Must have played for the Argooooooos;
  • Brits all in a tizzy because Prince Harry dared to sport a…wait for it….beard during the Remembrance Day ceremony. Y’know, with all the crap going on in the UK with terrorists etc. you would think that the Brits would have something better to do than bitch about this. Hey, just think of all those face follicle challenged male Muslims out there. C’mon;
  • Rare disease turns man to stone. Not funny says Stone Cold Steve Austin;
  • Trudeau concerned about human rights…………………………….SO?? Bahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah;
  • COP 23 tents in Bonn heated by…………………………………….Diesel Generators;
  • Are Rehab Addict Star’s personal problems hurting the show? We don’t know but when asked they couldn’t find her as she was reported to be in rehab!;
  • Pre-historic Georgian Jars hold clue to 8,000 year old wine. Yup, its vinegar all right, laced with water. That and Cheerios are said to have been a deadly combination that killed the Swiss Neanderthal guy on the glacier;
  • What’s it like growing up with 5 mothers……………………..Oedipus hell!;
  • Man donates liver to woman. She gives it back. Her last words were heard to be: “I hate liver, especially with onions;”
  • Scratching you ass and wiggling your balls is a sign of Alzheimer’s. One can’t tell the front from the back or so they say;
  • Actress has a message for misogynist sexists………………………..call me!;
  • People with a history of “self-mutilation,” bipolar disorder, depression and drug and alcohol abuse can now seek waivers to join the Army…Great, there’s no life like it, like it, like it, like it. No, yes! NO, YES!. On another note:
  • Judge Blocks Trump’s Ban on Transgender Troops in Military; Just what we need. There is no life like it…thank gawd for that!;
  • Tesla battery production releases as much CO2 as 8 years of driving  petro fuelled car. As usual the lefties have their heads in the sand;
  • NYT op-ed, from the identity politics file: “Can my children play with white kids.” Yes Virginia because children are colour blind!;
  • Heard in passing: “Hey, I need help. I’m a white Caucasian Canadian trapped inside a Filipino’s body!. Yeah, and I feel like a ham on cheese sandwich…right now! (thanks to Maggie’s Farm)…………Geesh;
  • Oh the horror of it all: two black men elected to public office in Connecticut…as Republicans!;

Where are his hands?

He has a smile on his face. Same with Hilarious.

  • US should adopt the Canadian model for free health care….no, don’t even think about it as it sucks. My son waited 9 months for a varicose vein operation, even after having been told he was at the top of the priority list for the operation. Canadians remain delusional to think that their health care system is the best in the world. BTW, I pay $250 per month in health care premiums for a service that only covers non elective treatment. “Yeah but it is universal” some stupid Canadian was heard to say. “Yes, universally bad. It is the shits for everyone!”
  • University students want “napping stations.” Say no more. Do they want a blankie as well?;
  • Canada is going to change some of the lyrics to their two most famous national anthems: true-dope strong and free as well as the Cannabis Leaf Forever!”

 

Can’t make this stuff up.

 

SJ……………………………………………………..Out