It would seem that Canada has now adopted gender neutral honorifics (Mister, Miss. Missus) to appease less that 1% of the population. I am a Canadian but I am now embarrassed to state as such with this madness.
Hmmm, Which one should I use?
“What am I anyway? Am I a man? Oops can’t say that in Canada. Okay, am I a woman? Ooops can’t say that either. But I have to go. Shit happens you know and it doesn’t discriminate. Shit stinks whether you are a people (man) or a wo-people (woman).
“Sorry, but before you can go you have to tell us what you are. Are you a hey, a zey, a zir, a zee, a zitch, a bitch, a mitch or a titz? What is it?” a Service Canada spokesperson demanded before they would provide the key to the washroom. “Oh I know” I said. “I am a Neanderthal so I’ll just go right here. After all divershity is my strength.” And the pants, or skirt (can’t say that) came down right there and then as a large load came onto the floor.
“Hey” a spokes-people (spokesman) yelled, while looking at the pile of shit that was now on the floor of the orifice. “You have to say skants, as pants or skirt is too gender specific and is forbidden to say while in our orifices”
Okay, so when do I get my pension cheque anyway?” and by the way, can I refer to you as an ass-hole. That is gender neutral as we all have one don’t we?” the client smirked as he left the government orifice (can’t say office in Canada as it could be construed as gender specific). Everyone has an orifice now don’t they?
MADNESS! I WAN’T MY COUNTRY BACK….NOW!
Joke of the year: Russian presidential erections. Putin wins again. Of course he does. He is president for life. Anything else is just distraction.
And this just in:
It’s time to “warrior up,” stop polluting the planet and give water the same rights and protections as human beings. That’s the message Autumn Peltier, a 13-year-old Canadian, delivered personally to the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday. I am sure Service Canada will soon take this to heart!
“Many people don’t think water is alive or has a spirit,” she told the diplomats gathered in New York City in her speech on World Water Day. “My people believe this to be true.” “So do I. Water and Crown Royal is a really good mix. And, if you looked at water under a microscope you would never drink it again…ever!
“Our water deserves to be treated as human with human rights. We need to acknowledge our waters with personhood (you mean people-hood) so we can protect our waters,” Peltier said, her five-foot frame standing on a stool (??) behind the podium so she could reach the microphone. When your people start to do something about this, maybe I will begin to take you seriously.
I hate it when adults use children to push their activist agendas.
From the – it’s someone else’s fault file comes this (italics mine):
Deeply lamenting the loss of young Mark Anthony Conditt, (The Austin Bomber) the precocious (I’ll say) yet thoughtful go-getter with a penchant for politics (and bombs) city officials confirmed Thursday that the true Austin bomber was everyone who failed this sensitive, promising kid (really?). “What our investigation is attempting to determine is this: Who’s the real terrorist here? And all the evidence points to it being everyone who refused to recognize the brilliance existing deep inside this sensitive, socially concerned young man,”(so I’ll take it out on society as a whole and blow the shit out of them – so there!) said Austin Police Chief Brian Manley at a press conference, during which officials distributed a report listing multiple instances of the greater Austin community failing to nurture the vision and talent of the budding young (explosive) genius, an oversight at least as dangerous as the series of bombs that left two dead and several others injured last week. (Oversights do not kill people – people kill people). Everything we learned from his neighbors indicates that this undeniably special young man displayed all the classic signs of someone out to make his mark on this world (which he did in rather grand fashion) and that we did nothing to protect his future (or ours) is the biggest tragedy we’ve had in Texas for a long time (are you kidding me?). And the worst part is that we are, all of us, to blame for his loss.” (no we’re not). Manley refused to take questions, instead urging the people of Austin to question themselves after taking a long, hard look in the mirror. (“So put that in your pipe bomb and smoke it.”). The children are our future. Can’t wait)………………………Geeesh
Another shooting in France? Sad.
Just another misunderstood youth eh Manly (see Austin above)? It’s our fault. We didn’t look in the mirror as it was cracked. Quick, bring out the piano. Je suis Imagine!
Love this current liberal hypocrisy wrt their Canadian summer jobs program:
“To be eligible [for a grant], the core mandate of the organization must respect individual human rights in Canada, including the values underlying the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as well as other rights. These include reproductive rights (pro-lifers need not apply)and the right to be free from discrimination on the basis of sex, (which one?) religion,(Christians need not apply) race (as long as you’re not white), national or ethnic origin (older Canadians need not apply), colour,(colour blind?) mental or physical disability (I can’t work isn’t an excuse for this grant), sexual orientation (which one?) or gender identity or expression – (Zir, Zey, Zitch, Bitch, Hey, Jay).
I can honestly say that I never, ever got a summer job through any Canadian government sponsored job placement program.
I want my country back!
Song for the day. This is a hard one.
Just a tad political today…Sorry.
Have a great weekend