Nuts Over Nutella

Thus just in: Nutella riots sparked across France.

“They are like animals,” one customer at the Rive-de-Gier supermarket in central France told LeProgres, according to The Local France. “A woman had her hair pulled, an elderly lady took a box on her head, another had a bloody hand. It was horrible.” Haven’t seen anything like this since, since, since??? Macron’s wedding!”

Meanwhile a huge spike in dental visits has been recorded all across France. “Mon Dieu” someone was heard to say. In response the Trump administration issued a travel warning – stay well clear of France.

Here I thought the Swiss invented Nutella but it was the Italians. “Mama Mia!”


Cold weather is a relative thing  (Courtesy of Maggie’s Farm)

60 above zero:
Californians and Arizonians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

50 above zero:

Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.

10 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

Sooo true.


From the Moonbat State comes this: California to state that Coffee presents a Cancer Risk. Bacon and Eggs and sausages cause climate change. All those Alligators out there shook their heads in response.

Doritos has come to the top of the list on California’s Food Guide. Gerry Brown the Governor of California, in response, will have Doritos for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner – to save the planet.

Not to be outdone: Chelsea Clinton says Women’s Reproductive Health Rights Are Connected to Climate Change and those really, really bad horny males out there. All the Alligators nodded in agreement (see Friday’s post).

This just in from Michael Moore:

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“Donald J. Trump has proven himself to be completely unfit for office, a threat to our country, and an imminent danger to the world. He is not well; he is a malignant narcissist and an active sociopath. And because he holds the codes to fire nuclear weapons, he is a singular threat to humanity,” he said, as he sucked back on one of his many Harvey Wallbangers!  I am so fed up I am going out to California and hang out with my buds (shown above)!

Another Ontario PC leader resigns due to sexual allegations. This is becoming so yesterday. Politics is a very dirty business. Funny all of this occurring 4 months prior to an erection…er election. Wynne must be beside herself with glee here. Sexual allegations? The gift that keeps on giving to my male opponents – she was heard to remark.

Canada will extend their CF 18s to 2032 and beyond. 50 years old. To go along with the 100 year old Sea Kings, 50 year old warships and never to be delivered Joint Support Ships and Arctic Operating Vessels. “Hey you voted Liberal didn’t you?” – the Defence Minister was heard to say, in between laughter. He then unveiled Canada’s new uniform:

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And Canada’s New Order of Battle:

Navy: We ordered 20 of these beauties – if we can find the blueprints!

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Air Force: 100 of these babies.

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Army: We can get these harbingers of death real cheap:

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“I am soooo happy and excited.” The minister was heard to remark.


Song of the day in keeping with my interest in the 1970s band “Badfinger.”

“Lonely You”


Happy Monday.