Month: March 2018

Man or Woman Up

It would seem that Canada has now adopted gender neutral honorifics (Mister, Miss. Missus) to appease less that 1% of the population. I am a Canadian but I am now embarrassed to state as such with this madness.

No more Mr or Mrs: Canadian state agency to use gender-neutral ‘parent’ instead of father or motherHmmm, Which one should I use?

“What am I anyway? Am I a man? Oops can’t say that in Canada. Okay, am I a woman? Ooops can’t say that either. But I have to go. Shit happens you know and it doesn’t discriminate. Shit stinks whether you are a people (man) or a wo-people (woman).

“Sorry, but before you can go you have to tell us what you are. Are you a hey, a zey, a zir, a zee, a zitch, a bitch, a mitch or a titz? What is it?” a Service Canada spokesperson demanded before they would provide the key to the washroom. “Oh I know” I said. “I am a Neanderthal so I’ll just go right here. After all divershity is my strength.” And the pants, or skirt (can’t say that) came down right there and then as a large load came onto the floor.

“Hey” a spokes-people (spokesman)  yelled, while looking at the pile of shit that was now on the floor of the orifice. “You have to say skants, as pants or skirt is too gender specific and is forbidden to say while in our orifices”

Okay, so when do I get my pension cheque anyway?” and by the way, can I refer to you as an ass-hole. That is gender neutral as we all have one don’t we?” the client smirked as he left the government orifice (can’t say office in Canada as it could be construed as gender specific). Everyone has an orifice now don’t they?

MADNESS! I WAN’T MY COUNTRY BACK….NOW!

Joke of the year: Russian presidential erections. Putin wins again. Of course he does. He is president for life. Anything else is just distraction.

And this just in:

It’s time to “warrior up,” stop polluting the planet and give water the same rights and protections as human beings. That’s the message Autumn Peltier, a 13-year-old Canadian, delivered personally to the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday. I am sure Service Canada will soon take this to heart!

“Many people don’t think water is alive or has a spirit,” she told the diplomats gathered in New York City in her speech on World Water Day. “My people believe this to be true.”  “So do I.  Water and Crown Royal is a really good mix. And, if you looked at water under a microscope you would never drink it again…ever!

“Our water deserves to be treated as human with human rights. We need to acknowledge our waters with personhood (you mean people-hood) so we can protect our waters,” Peltier said, her five-foot frame standing on a stool (??) behind the podium so she could reach the microphone. When your people start to do something about this, maybe I will begin to take you seriously.

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I hate it when adults use children to push their activist agendas.

From the  – it’s someone else’s fault file comes this (italics mine):

Deeply lamenting the loss of young Mark Anthony Conditt, (The Austin Bomber) the precocious (I’ll say) yet thoughtful go-getter with a penchant for politics (and bombs) city officials confirmed Thursday that the true Austin bomber was everyone who failed this sensitive, promising kid (really?). “What our investigation is attempting to determine is this: Who’s the real terrorist here? And all the evidence points to it being everyone who refused to recognize the brilliance existing deep inside this sensitive, socially concerned young man,”(so I’ll take it out on society as a whole and blow the shit out of them – so there!) said Austin Police Chief Brian Manley at a press conference, during which officials distributed a report listing multiple instances of the greater Austin community failing to nurture the vision and talent of the budding young (explosive) genius, an oversight at least as dangerous as the series of bombs that left two dead and several others injured last week. (Oversights do not kill people – people kill people). Everything we learned from his neighbors indicates that this undeniably special young man displayed all the classic signs of someone out to make his mark on this world (which he did in rather grand fashion) and that we did nothing to protect his future (or ours) is the biggest tragedy we’ve had in Texas for a long time (are you kidding me?). And the worst part is that we are, all of us, to blame for his loss.” (no we’re not). Manley refused to take questions, instead urging the people of Austin to question themselves after taking a long, hard look in the mirror. (“So put that in your pipe bomb and smoke it.”). The children are our future. Can’t wait)………………………Geeesh

Another shooting in France? Sad.

Just another misunderstood youth eh Manly (see Austin above)? It’s our fault. We didn’t look in the mirror as it was cracked. Quick, bring out the piano. Je suis Imagine!

Love this current liberal hypocrisy wrt their Canadian summer jobs program:

“To be eligible [for a grant], the core mandate of the organization must respect individual human rights in Canada, including the values underlying the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as well as other rights. These include reproductive rights (pro-lifers need not apply)and the right to be free from discrimination on the basis of sex, (which one?) religion,(Christians need not apply) race (as long as you’re not white), national or ethnic origin (older Canadians need not apply), colour,(colour blind?) mental or physical disability (I can’t work isn’t an excuse for this grant), sexual orientation (which one?) or gender identity or expression – (Zir, Zey, Zitch, Bitch, Hey, Jay).

I can honestly say that I never, ever got a summer job through any Canadian government sponsored job placement program.

I want my country back!

Song for the day. This is a hard one.

Just a tad political today…Sorry.

Have a great weekend

SJ………………………….Out

 

 

Lonely

This just in.

I tried the Crypto non potato diet for 10 days and I went from this:

Slide 2 of 9: After reading countless blog posts about fellow dieters reporting exhaustion and fatigue during the first few days, I actually noticed my energy levels soar. In fact, I felt as if I had downed three cups of coffee sans cream. At one point, the restlessness and jitters were a bit overwhelming. Though, after a few days progressed, my energy levels began to balance, and I felt more productive and clear-minded. Brain fog, begone!To this:

Before and After SupplementsBe careful, be very, very careful.

If only it were true file comes this headline:

‘Kryptonite-jacking’: Bitcoin rise prompts hackers to ditch ransomware for mining fraud

As bitcoin soared to the $20,000 mark last year, cyber-criminals increasingly turned their attention to Krypton-nite currency users. ‘Krypto-jacking’ cases catapulted in 2017 as Krypton-nite currency prices rose, according to new research.
Superman was not amused.
Love this headline: “Fancy gold and platinum from old ICBMs? Russian space agency opens bidding”
Fancy gold and platinum from old ICBMs? Russian space agency opens biddingYeah, the last guy who bought one of these babies was last seen….
See the source image
They take VISA!
Just another day in the City of Light
Clashes with police in Paris during rally against Macron’s public-sector reforms (VIDEOS)
French workers demonstrate violently in Paris against Macron’s reforms of the public sector. “He wants to impose a 1.5 hour work week on us! Sucre-Coeur!” one protester was heard to remark.
Queen has ordered Harry and Meghan to dispense with the PDA. No more of this I would assume.
See the source imageNo???? Oh you mean this:
prince harry meghan markle pda: Photo, Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images.I am just soooo out of touch these days.
Only in Canada you say?  Shitty
Saskatchewan Judge grants bail to man in fentanyl and weapon charges…3 dead.  Canada is open for business?
Just another reason why I would never, ever go to University these days:
A North Carolina State University sociology instructor contends that vegan and vegetarian men are guilty of “upholding the gender binary” and perpetuating “white masculinity.” Vegan and vegetarian men have, [says Mari Mycek,] reclaimed their “previously-stigmatised consumption identity” to wield power over women by framing their lifestyle as a rational, rather than emotional, choice.
Eating chick-peas is considered an act of oppression to women everywhere. (Thanks to SDA)
More Canadian Federal Hypocrisy:  Quebec energy projects do not have to pass the upstream / downstream greenhouse emissions litmus tests but western energy projects do!! What the F%$k batman. Time to get out of dodge me thinks.

Can you believe this:

Kathleen Wynne, the premier of Ontario feels that Old White People are the problem. So get out and vote she says to the young people.
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Yes, Ms Wynne you are definitely the problem for Ontarians
Let’s see. Old white people vote because:
Image result for pics of the greatest generation as opposed to this:See the source image
I know how I would vote.
That’s all she wrote:
Another great tune from Badfinger:
Click on the link, then click on the link in the box.
SJ…………………………..Out

I Put a Spell on You

Hey, are the Maldives still with us? Let’s see (from the Spectator):

The IPCC vision is a rise that by the year 2100 may amount to between 30cm and 50cm. This is based on model calculations. Our figure is a 5cm rise, plus or minus 15cm. In a newspaper article, you have suggested that sea levels may rise by between one and eight metres. Those figures, however, do not concur with the physics and known rates of ice melting. So those figures must be dismissed as impossible. (Love it). 

Keep going:

So why the scare-mongering? Could it be because there is money involved? If you inhabit a tiny island and can convince the world that its very existence is under threat because of the polluting policies of the West, the industrialised nations will certainly respond. The money is likely to flow in more quickly than the ocean will rise.

This is the fourth time I have written to you. Unfortunately, I think there is a problem with your email service because so far I have not received an acknowledgement. For this reason, I have decided to write this open letter in the pages of The Spectator. (The Camels have been seasick)

So, Mr President, you and your ministers in the Maldives really don’t need to worry about a future life beneath the waves. You should pass on this message to the people of the Maldives. It is high time to release them from this terrible psychological burden.

Follow da money! Or their new reality.

Image result for pics of the maldivesLet’s sleep on it – er under it.

And yet we are going to waste billions of dollars here in Canada on this fraud.

This just in: Best weekly exercise regimen for weight loss…..DON’T EAT. That’ll do it.

Park Rangers solve mystery in the woods. Yes Virginia Bears do shit in the woods!

Winterpeg and Taranta are the only Canadian Teams in the NHL Playoffs this year? Good gawd almighty. Who or what is a Winterpeg and Taranta? – let’s organize the parade now!

3 women out to get TRUMP. This latest news fiasco coming to you from the Trump Derangement Syndrome news media such as the Washington Post. I wonder who is paying these women to come forward to press their pillow cases sort of speak. Surely they could ill afford to clean or press their own sheets. That’s for certain.

Top cardiologist boils weight loss down to one thing…………………..DON’T EAT!

Mork and Mindy Pam Dawber on Robin Williams sexual exploits on the TV set:

“Dawber also opened up about Williams’ alleged sexual behavior on the show, which helped skyrocket the actor to fame. “I had the grossest things done to me by him. And I never took offense,” she reportedly said. “I mean I was flashed, humped, bumped, grabbed. I think he probably did it to a lot of people … but it was so much fun.” I mean, after all it was the seventies you know.  Bring back the 70s

The #MeToo crowd is all in a tizzy over this one. Some other actresses are coming out to say; Me Too. The same thing happened to me too. And me-ass … as well. At their age – they’re all in their 60s so they may be cougars but they’re not alligators, that’s for sure.

Pics that show how useless the scale is when slimming down:

Slide 1 of 26: <p>If you're trying to lose weight, <a href="https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Lose-Weight-Without-Scale-43257345">the scale may not be the best judge</a> since a scale isn't capable of measuring just your body fat. In these 25 transformation photos, the women look like they've lost weight, but the scale numbers actually went up! So here's a visual reminder to <a href="https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Weight-Loss-Motivation-Tip-43723734">take progress pics</a> and not to let the scale number rule you! </p>43704246Ah, whose looking at the scale any how? Slimming down can be summarized in two words…………………DON’T EAT!

From SDA: Rafaela Vasquez, 44, was in control of the self-driving Volvo SUV on Sunday … has felony convictions for attempted armed robbery … under her original name Rafael but now identifies as a woman … did not see Elaine Herzberg, 49, until it was too late. No, she or he or zir or zee or zey or zits or titz was putting on zir or zey of zits makeup when the crash occurred….Geesh. Would you take an Uber driverless car when they hire people like Vasquez?

In ancient Rome, a popular form of entertainment was gladiator fights: violent, cruel, and often ended in people’s death – all just for entertainment.

Gladiator games obviously are no longer going on in Rome. So when did they stop? We actually know the exact day: January 1st, A.D. 404.

And it was because of a saint.

Telemachus was an ascetic monk from the east who, upon coming to Rome, was horrified at the cruelty of the gladiator games. Even though Christianity had been made the official religion of Rome by Emperor Theodosius in A.D. 380, the games had continued.

According to the writings of the 5th century bishop Theodoret of Cyrus, Telemachus ran into the middle of the gladiator games and tried to physically stop the gladiators from fighting. The spectators were so upset that they stoned him to death (The leafs fans should be so lucky!). The Emperor Honorius was so disturbed by the murder of the holy monk that he banned the gladiator games from that day forward. They were never resumed – that was that.

And that was the beginning of tele-marketing. I kid you not!….Groan.

This headline gave me some grave concern: “Last Male Dies in Kenya” “Who’s next?” I thought, rather in a panic because of my maleness. I opened the article only to find out that they were referring to a white rhino. Whew. Then someone told me it had everything to do with white privilege. I grew concerned again!

Love this. Thanks to Maggie’s Farm:

Kinda puts the Irish spell on you.

Which brings me to the song for today. I love Creedence’s cover – from Woodstock 1969.

Have a wonderful Wednesday.

 

SJ…………………………..Out

I Ran So Far Away

CNN conducts an interview with a student on lockdown at a Maryland High School shooting incident but had to stop it when the police arrived at the student’s classroom. C’mon CNN, how shameless can you get? Go back to covering Trump. As for the student? Anything to get his 15 minutes of fame….Geesh. Sad state of affairs.

USS Lexington, CV 2 discovered at the bottom of the Coral Sea. Lexington took part in the world’s first carrier vs carrier naval battle in which combatants fought via naval air at least 100 of miles apart. Amazing!

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And on the not so obvious file comes this: Canadian dollar flat when measured against the US greenback. Who knew?….Geesh.

Vancouver Real Estate Madness: $6.98M for this home.

Slide 1 of 3: 031918-png0319Nhouse-03Are you kidding me? Who can possibly put on a straight face when offering this rare gem? Reason? Location, Location, Location! No it’s rather Pay-cation, Pay-cation, Pay-cation…at least to me anyway.

Roger’s Centre in Toronto seen as being one of the worst venues in Baseball. I don’t see it that way at all. It was once state of the art with its retractable roof. Hugely innovative at the time. And right downtown as well. Not great for football perhaps but purpose built for baseball. They rate San Francisco as being the best. I don’t see it that way. Went to a Giants game in July once and froze my ass off. It was freezing.  No, Roger’s is just fine with me.

See the source image Leaves this for…this   See the source image

Donald Trump Jr’s wife  Vanessa files for divorce due to Don Jr’s infidelity. Just look at those eyes Junior…….Scary………..No smarts at all. I would run so far away if I were you Donald and seek forgiveness from Vanessa.

Not a great way to promote yourself or your ideas:

An Uber self-driving test vehicle was traveling around 40 mph when it struck and killed a woman late Sunday in a Phoenix suburb.

Back to the ole drawing board. I feel bad for the woman. When asked who was driving….there was dead silence from Uber.

From the nutzoid file comes this nugget:  “If you suggest that the laws of electromagnetism don’t dramatically alter depending on the melanin levels of the person doing the maths, then you just don’t care about “students of Colour” being “victims of deculturalization” and being “invalidated.”

Are we in trouble as a society? As long as people accept this kind of BS, you bet we are!

Bell Canada is conducting trial runs in rural communities to test the next generation of 5G technology. Last March, Huawei and the Ontario government announced they would focus on 5G technology at the Chinese company’s Canada Research Centre in Kanata, Ont. In December, Huawei included Carleton University in its 5G research.

 

U.S. security officials say Huawei products and the new 5G technology provide China with the capacity to conduct remote spying and maliciously modify or steal information or even shut down systems.

This guy says there is nothing to worry about. No story here…move on.

Image result for Pics of trudeau in india

The innovative Chinese artist Weiwei agreed. Move on. Of course he should know given his own networking social media acumen as shown here:

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Then there is this. Just more in line with our PM’s feminist thoughts:

“The Canadian military’s upcoming foray into Mali is expected to include a marked female presence as the Trudeau government looks to have Canada lead by example in the push to have more women on peacekeeping missions.”

Yeah that will work in a shit-hole of a country that is 99% Muslim. I am sure these Muslim warlords will welcome these female peacekeepers with open arms. “Yeah, but we’re Canadians. And its 2018 so put that in your Sharia pipe and smoke it.” An anonymous source in the Prime Minister’s office was heard to say. Okay……………..!

Somewhat of a lackluster day today. Not too much craziness going on.

Song of the day.

SJ…………………………….Out

End Of The World

I believe tomorrow, 20th March, will be the 106th anniversary date (March 20th ??? 1912) of the death of the south polar party of Scott, Bowers, Wilson and Oates. Evans died a few weeks earlier at the foot of the Beardmore Glacier. Sad

Robert Falcon Scott, 1868-1912, back row centre in balaclava, with members of the ill-fated Terra Nova expedition - Stock ImageIt was ill planned and poorly executed.

Hawking, before he died predicted the end of the universe. Oh yeah, something else that we need to be concerned about. Sorry Mr Hawking but the UN IPCC already has that locked up with their climate change thingy. And what a way to go out. I only wish I could do something about that as well when I exit stage right. In this case though it is all about Steve. Sad thing is that many people will believe this shyte. The Mayan calendar comes to mind. Remember 12-12-12 was going to be the end of the world as we know it? When that day came….Nada thing happened. Nobody knows, not even you Mr Hawking….Geeesh.

17 foods you should never put in the freezer. Whew. Don’t have to worry about that one. I can only think of one major food group to never put in the freezer man………………….KD! Kraft dinner. It’s about the only major food group any full blooded male (on his own) would ever consider putting in there, that is if he hasn’t finished it in one sitting.

Another Headline: 1980s Action Stars – Where are they now?………………DEAD!

For those about to start playing golf: Stop accepting those chunked chip shot in you golf game. No, no no! Start using the most neglected golf club in and out of your golf bag……………….the foot wedge. Never fails.

Image result for pics of the foot wedge           It will never let you down. It works every time.

From the “I Want More Money” file comes this: Residential chickens on councils agenda….and again…and again…and again. “Hey we are traumatized here. We want more money!”

Canadians see possible signal that the US is ready to compromise on Nafta giving Canada what it truly wants. And what is that? Well in keeping with Trudeau’s vision it will be a gender based feminist agreement. Transparency. The Transgender community and Trans Parents are all in a tizzy over this one. “We can buy woman’s clothing duty free now.” one tranny was heard to say. “This is a wynne wynne situation.” Naf said! Ta!

Trudeau celebrates this progress with his Nafta negotiating team:

See the source imageLove this: 17 signs “Your Car Needs a New Battery.” Well I can think of only one…..IT WON’T START!

Golfers are replacing their “lob” wedge with this new and exciting innovative club……………THE FOOT WEDGE

Golfer taps golf ball into the hole using his foot wedgeIt will never let you down as it works every time.

“Cry Me a River” – Gotta love this one:  Former Vice President Al Gore is at it again. Gore is attempting to link extreme weather to man-made climate change, this time warning of “flying rivers” and “rain bombs.” But in a new book,  Gore is accused of engaging in scientifically baseless “weather porn” for attempting to link every bad weather event to “global warming.

Will these guys ever shut up and give up? At close to $1B made over this shyte? I doubt it. There are just too many sheeple out there without a single critical thought cell in their minute brains.

And finally this: A new wedge has been designed to eliminate all fat and thin chip shots. It’s called: “Ta daaa:” The Foot Wedge. Buy it today and improve your game by at least 18 strokes!

Image result for Caddyshack Foot WedgeWho me? No way man!

Song for the day:

For you my dear Marijke. Now that is the end of the world for me.

Happy Monday.

SJ…………………………………..Out