Author: admin

Apple Of My Eye

Thanks for all of your thoughts and concerns. The boys and I are doing okay.

Saw this over the holidays. Our illustrious PM and his brother showing off their “Last Supper” Christmas sweaters. Sweet Justinian!

Now, how about showing off your Muslim sweats guys…Hmmm…or socks?

From the Goracle files comes this: New Ice age caused by global warming. Sleight of hand or what. Yup, Horseshoe falls in mid July, don’t you know.

Or this

What did you do on your summer vacation Al

 

Finally, Tighter Looking Skin For Men [do this daily]

Men are doing this everyday for tighter looking skin. Antifa, BLM are going nuts. Back in the day this would be called – Blackface. Hey, but just change the name or brand, call it male cosmetics, and it’s all okay.

Love this one. I read a very long article over the weekend about what to do during a nuclear attack. I could summarize that whole piece with just one word:  “duck!” oh, and kiss your ass goodbye.

Meghan Markle’s bad seed. I can’t believe this one. Some Brit Journalist has made the claim that when Meghan Markle marries Harry, her bad seed will taint the Royal bloodline. Oh you mean this bloodline:

Image result for crazy pics of prince charles                        or this                     Image result for crazy pics of prince charles

But I always thought that the seed came before the egg!  Harry??? Just saying that’s all.

From the craziness file comes these two nuggets:

It would appear that in Switzerland, in taking the lead from New Zealand, it will now be illegal to boil lobsters while they are still alive due to lobster sensitivities. Heard in passing:

“What do we do now?” A Swiss Sous Chef was want to ask his Sur Chef.

“Take this here hammer Louis, then knock the crap out of it, then throw it into the pot of boiling water. Yup, that’ll do it.  And it’s all legal.”

“Hey, and those flowers there?”;

“Yeah”

“Well we can no longer cut their stems for fear of causing long term flower grief. We don’t want to hurt their feelings…er petals!”

“Geraniums unite, I say WRGM – as in White and Red Geraniums Matter.”

My only question about all of this would be; how will the Swiss enforce and police this one?

 

Heard in passing at an airport somewhere in North America.

“But I don’t want a return ticket to Brussels. One way will do. I have a euthanasia tourist package to Belgium don’t you know. And it’s all inclusive”

Chinese take-out box has a new feature. It’s ideal for the Belgium all inclusive euthanasia tourist packages!

Shithouse comment – Bloggers like me just love Trump. The gift that keeps on giving. Love this: courtesy of Maggie’s Farm:

 

This just in! The double burp! Astronomers have caught a massive black hole letting out a “double burp” after bingeing on hot gas.

Burps, black holeArrows point to the two burps of gas coming from the black hole: the top arrow points to the newer burp and the bottom arrow points to the older burp.

And here I thought it was just another all day long CNN exclusive, listening in on one of Trump’s executive meetings.

BTW, how, on earth, did they measure that?

 

Tune for the day:……………….. Courtesy of You Tube

Prayer for the day:

Please dear Lord. Give us back Peter Ham and we’ll give you Justin Bieber.

 

Have a terrific Tuesday. Great, Homicide Detective is on tonight!

 

SJ……..Burp, Belch..S’cuse me…………………………………….Out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hallelujah!

Just  like to thank everyone for your thoughts and condolences. Boys and I are doing alright.

Maldives? Well as you know this has been a great interest to me. Back in 1988 the UN predicted that in 30 years, Jan 1st 2018, the Maldives will be underwater due to rising sea levels as a result of climate change. Well, I checked so you don’t have to. On January 1 2018, the Maldives were still there, in all their glory:

Image result for Maldives Sea Level Rise

Nope, still there. Even this guy is still here:

Image result for Maldives Sea Level Rise

“Dear UN IPCC. We are in deep trouble. We are in way over our heads here” the Maldives Minister of Internal Affairs gurgled. “Bring money, fast. We are running out of air, er I mean land.”

Still there, move on. But now the UN has said: “Well we made a mistake. The Maldives will now be underwater by 2100.” There’s that 100 year push into the future again. A time when all of us will be dead so…no dispute. Just give us the money!

Not to be undone by the Maldives, a young woman from the Marshall Atoll in Micronesia has gotten into the act as well, but she has written a poem to the UN to highlight the dangers of rising sea levels:

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

We are in deep Ka ka here

Unless you bring us some dough… dear

AND NOW!

This poem will surely win her the 2018 Nobel Prize for literature. Enough of that…move on.

 

Been monitoring the list of names for this year’s new arrivals…soooo cute

“Chrystel, Christel”…yeah but the spelling is different.

“Moonlaunch”…after Kim Flung Poo of North Korea

“Moonbat”…after New York Mayor “Bill de Blasio,” and do it now before he runs out of your money!

“Moonbeam”…after California Governor Gerry Brown

Number one names for twins:

“Moonbat and Moonbeam”

“Ataboy Endeavours.” I kid you not.

Reminds me of an expression we had in the Navy. Y’know 10 ataboys plus 1 oh F&^K equals zero ataboys.

“Serious Now”…Seriously?

“Precious George” Imagine this poor guy when he turns 18!

Geesh…………..Poor Kids

Mehgan Markel’s dirty habits revealed. When I saw this headline over the holidays I was intrigued. I thought maybe, just maybe. Imagine my letdown when I read she wanted to stop swearing and biting her nails…Geesh, and here I thought this piece of journalistic profound-ity would address something like picking her nose in public and looking at it, or scratching her ass…you know stuff that guys do. Gender equality and all of that. After all it is 2018 you know.

Image result for photos of mehgan markel and harry in public

Heard in passing. “Shit Harry, Jesus H Christ, I am getting so gawd damn tired of this f*&kin waving. My hands are so F*&kin sore.”

Our Prime Minister…looking soooooooo Prime Ministerial. Don’t ya just love it Millennials?

Song for the day  on this Happy Monday:

 

Happy Monday………………………………………SJ Out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snow Blower Man

Apologize, family emergency. This post is a repeat from last September:

 

Hypocrisy of the media:

Athlete’s who take a knee or kneel down during the anthem should be in church, not on the field, or ice or whatever,praying hard that they will not lose their jobs. Meanwhile Tim Tebow takes a knee, called “tebowing,” in his celebration of a higher power prior to a game and he gets crucified by the press!

“I feel so oppressed” one athlete of colour was heard to say.  I was expecting $50 million this season but they only gave me $40 million. “Racist, it’s bloody racist I tell you,” as he was munching away on his Doritos, that dastardly symbol of white oppression.

Penguins hailed during visit to  the White House after winning the Stanley Cup in 2009 and 2016. Penguins vilified for daring to visit the White House after 2017 win.

Obama……………………………………………….a saint
Hillary……………………………………………….an angel
Trump……………………………………………… the devil incarnate.

You watch. Obama will be made a saint just a few years after his death.

And then there is this:

The “World Language Body” a UN body located in Medellin Columbia wants to change the word “snow” to something else. “Snow is just sooooo White Privilege. I mean look at it. So, we are going to change it to “blow.” “That’s more in line with the world’s shared values” another WLB official snorted.  “Besides saying – it is really blowing outside – kills two descriptive statements into one. We think that is so neet (sic).”

Speaking of Blow:

“China Deals Major Blow to North Korea…”

Image result for crazy pics of kim un                            Image result for crazy pics of kim un

“We’ll be giving them at least 1 million kilos a year” a Chinese official was heard to say. “That’s major blow in my books. Oh, you were thinking of UN sanctions were you? Rats a good one” he responded. RoR!

Bird in the hand so to speak!

Image result for pics of trudeau and trump“Forgive me Donald, but I don’t know where that hand’s been.

Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion a ‘surreal’ experience for Canadian who stayed six months. “Yeah, I was on my back the whole time I was there” she said. “Wow! Sir is that for real.” when she had a peaky boo!

Every week something new from the left…to protest or get their undies all in a knot. First there was Pride, then BLM, then SJWs, then Black Olives Matter, then Green organic pizza, then Donald’s Trump, then Antifa, then statues, then pigeons defecating on their statues, then everything white, then kneeling down outside of church, then Athlete oppressions due to their high salaries. What is next? That you can no longer say “Trump” during Bridge and Euchre games? Can’t say spades either? And saying “Spades are Trump” will definitely get the clubs on you?

Oh yeah. This latest nugget from the lefty’s world of hate and intolerance: people who are right handed should be shunned and berated for their white privilege and their racist behaviour.

Hillary Clinton visits Toronto and delivers a speech at the Enercare Centre while on book tour for "What Happened."

Now you know we’re in trouble as a country. Toronto goes into rapture mode during Hillary Clinton visit. Unbelievable. Her husband receives similar treatment whenever he visits. You know Trump has the “Art of the Deal” to fall back on while the other has the “Art of the Dough” to contend with. What would you rather deal with?

Oh, so that’s why all these guys are on their knees. They pine for the good ole daze.

And what does Trudeau have? The “Art of the Screw” as he moves to screw Canadians more and more each and every day. Then again, we Canadians being so smug are smug in the knowledge that we are the most screwed nation on earth…. and loving it…………………..Geesh!

This just in from the Canadian Press: “OJ to get steak and an iPhone after release….wow. And this is news?…..Why?

Love this one. Just shows what happens when one has shit for brains. Cartoon is from Theo and Maggie’s Farm. Great blog there by the way.

Fourth Gravitational Pull detected:

Astronomers say they have detected another set of gravitational waves — ripples in the fabric of space and time traveling throughout the Universe. It’s the fourth time this phenomenon has been measured by the scientists at LEGO, er sorry LIGO, or the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory. The same group made history by detecting the first wave signals early last year. While such detections seem to be routine now, this latest discovery is unique since it was also picked up by a separate non-LIGO observatory.

“I was blown away,” one Astronomer was heard to say.

SJ………………….Out

Advent

Advent: beautiful and wonderful time of the year!

 

And on another note: White milk no longer in vogue due to its white privilege undertones, er overtones. Chocolate milk is making a huge comeback but Black Lives Matter are having convulsions over this new trend. PETA has also soured on this new food guide development. Just wait a couple of weeks PETA and you can have all the sour milk you want!

To all men out there: be afraid, be very, very afraid. I looked at a woman about 20 years ago – yeah, yeah, I know – and I am scared faceless in being hauled in front of a feminist tribunal for my dastardly actions of harassment. If they find out that is. Be very, very afraid.

It may be time to ditch the Internet and listen to the beautiful hymn above.

 

Latest: Dustin Hoffman – some 32 years ago……………………Geesh.

 

SJ…………………………………….Out

Pigeons and Statues

Maldives: 26 days to go until nada thing left of the Maldives, according to the UN.

 

Dealing with a family emergency. Repeat post from last August (with some updates):

Pigeon Lovers Unite!

If you start taking down statues, what are the poor pigeon’s going to do? I think that pigeon lovers everywhere should march and protest this blatant act of cruelty to animals. Where is PETA when the going gets tough?

Would you rather have this:

Or this:

There are unintended consequences you know. So, Antifa, BLM, PRIDE and all you SJWs out there be very careful what you wish for. Be very, very careful.  This could be your car!

More bodies found on glacier, Mont Blanc, France. One French official was heard to state that “this is a real cold case.”  Activists are upset as Mount Blanc is a symbol of white privilege, white supremacism. Never mind the poor bastards who died there. No, they want the name changed to “Mount This Will Ya France.”

Social media split on Swift’s new song. First of all, who is Swift? Secondly, who gives a rats ass about her new song? Thirdly, the Musak industry is all in a tizzy over this as this song really, really sucks.

Latest Darwin runner-up award: Woman falls while taking a selfie with a drone. Now runner up’s for this award are those people who demonstrate awesome stupidity but for whatever reason fail to diminish the gene pool by taking themselves off of the ranks of the living…too bad.

Mysterious tablet discovered. New math secrets revealed as in:

The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York.

1 + 1 = 3  Yikes! Or 1 + 1 = 11; or 2 + 2 = 22

Apple wants to market it as the new IMath! I knew that all along. I could have been a math contender if this had come out when I was in school.

Oh yeah. Surprise comment of the week: Hurricane Harvey caused by Climate Change, and, It is TRUMP’s fault.

Jewish activists target New York’s Peter Stuyvesant Statues. Targeting a statue to a cigarette?  C’mon guys, let’s get real here!

Another candidate(s) for a runner-up status of the Darwin Stupidity Award:
“Authorities shut down the scheduled performance by Los Angeles act Allah-Las at a 1,000-person capacity club called Maassilo. The band’s name has attracted some unwanted attention in the Muslim world. Band members say they selected the name Allah, Arabic for the Muslim deity, because they wanted something that sounded “holy.” Lead singer Miles Michaud said: “We get emails from Muslims, here in the U.S. and around the world, saying they’re offended, but that absolutely wasn’t our intention.”
Maybe you guys should have called yourselves the “Sermon on the Rock n Rollers.” Hmmm? Just sayin. “Just because we know how to rock doesn’t mean we are smart.” One of the band members was heard to say. Taylor Swift nodded in agreement.

There is just so much craziness a person can handle these days.

 

 

SJ………….Out!