Author: admin

Alt-Turnative

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Chateauwood.jpgAnd the trees were standing like sentinels to hell itself.

I wonder what would have happened if the so called leaders of today had been in charge during the Great War or World War 2!  Hmmm?

 

Alt-Right, Alt Left; Alt Right, Alt Left; Alt Right, Alt Left…New cadence drill introduced at West Point Academy. Alt Right, Alt Left….Alt.

Alt?  It’s the English word for Halt.

 

Trump held back on his condemnation of the Charlottesville violence until he had all the facts about who was to blame. Sounds rational to me. But the Alt Left proponents went berserk over this statement claiming that the difference between Antifa, BLM etc and the violence they perpetrate over the White Supremacists is like comparing a Cessna (them) to a C130 Herc (Alt Right). Major Newspapers agreed…. Oh really.

“We just want to bring down the government” one Alt Lefty was heard to say.  “We’re not domestic terrorists like those Alt Righties are.”

“What’s wrong with that?” another piped in. “After alt, we’re just saving democracy by ousting Trump, the duly elected President of the United States of America. So what’s wrong with that?”

Heard at a sidebar poker game just after the violence: “Alt see your Charlottesville and raise you three Berkeley’s, five Down with Free Speech proponents and a couple of murders.  Damn, you got me. Alt call!”

 

Today’s Oxymoron: Donald Trump and the United States of America.

 

Another Oxymoron: “Healthy foods that are destroying your body.” says a leading nutritionist. Say what?? No wonder we’re so screwed up. And why are there so many sick people in health food stores anyway. Why? Why?

This just in: Celebrity Fashion Face off: Who wore it better? My answer? Who gives two F%$ks.

200 ways on how to lose weight. I know of just one: STOP EATING!

 

From the “this is just so obvious file: Obama’s post Charlottesville message. Best and most liked tweet E..V..E..R.  In the history of Tweetie Pies.  Of course it is. Trump’s tweet asking all Americans to calm down, love and respect one another is classified as most hateful tweet E..V..E..R in the history of the Tweetosphere. My thoughts: Tweetle Dee and Tweetle Dumber.

 

I think Canadians pay more attention to US politics than their own. I mean news or no news, real or fake news about Trump, makes the 11 O’clock news here every single night since his inauguration. We get it. You have Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) in spades (Ooops, see Bridge comment below). See a therapist and lay off with the coverage. That is why I never watch broadcast news anymore. My wife does.

Charlottesville: Its TRUMP’s fault. And if not then its Climate Change.

Alt Right………………………………………….BAD…….TRUMP…….Bad

Alt Left……………………………………………Good…….Obama……..Saintly

Lefties want to take down all statues of Southern Confederate Heroes and Military Generals, like Robert E Lee. We cannot let the Alt Left rewrite History. I wonder if they know that the Democrats were the biggest proponents of slavery and huge supporters of the Confederate States.  In fact almost all of the secessionist states were DEMOCRAT…or that Lincoln was one of the original Alt Righties. The founder of the Republican Party. Check it out.

Next up for the Alt Left?  The game of Bridge and Euchre can no longer use the word “Trump” in its game play. “It just triggers too much emotional violence.” one avid Bridge player was heard to say. I am losing sleep over it. “God damn it Gladys, spades, spaDES, SPADES are trump, not clubs, damn it all Gladys” They also want to take the word “clubs” out of the Bridge and Euchre lexicon so as not to give anyone any ideas….Geeesh!

 

Well known Newspapers in the US calling for violence in the streets to get rid of duly elected Washington Officials, including the President………………sad state of affairs. Alt Left or Alt Right…stop reading these tabloids.

Alt Right, Alt Left; Alt Right, Alt Left; Alt Right, Alt Left……………..Alt!

Reminds me of the song by Free: “Alt right now, baby its a alt right now.!

SJ……out

Diversity is Our Strength

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Names of Canadian Passchendaele dead are inscribed on the marble walls of the Vimy Ridge Memorial near Arras, France.

 

Sorry. missed yesterday. Away in Vancouver all day.

 

Scaramucci, Skeletor’s brother and Presidents Trump’s former press secretary, in what will probably be seen as the shortest tenure achieved as a Press Secretary in US History, says that there are those out there who are out to get Trump ousted!  Noooo Really? No wonder this guy was………………..FIRED.  “He Man” told him to scurry back to Castle Greyskull.

Everything is being politicized these days. Even the CFL. Last Sunday while watching the BC Lions and Sask Roughrider’s game, I noticed that all of the Lion’s coaching staff were wearing: “Diversity is our Strength” Tee shirts. They then went on to lose 38 – 8. They got trounced by Sask. Be very careful of the message you want to convey here guys. Just play football and leave the messaging to BLM, or Antifa, or Pride or any of those other (insert name here).

Another useful tidbit from the obviousness file: Ellen Degenerate is gay!!! “Really.” Someone was heard to say. “Yeah, well Marvin’s Gay too,” another bragged. That’s Marvin Gaye you idiot. He was a singer, now deceased, and he was not gay.

 

Junior Darwin awards given out to nine year old children for trying to drink boiling water. Don’t ever try this at home. Just trying to boil down the gene pool someone was heard to say.

Apparently this child was the son or the daughter of a woman in Texas who wasn’t happy about a museum’s plan to hold a workshop or learning event during the upcoming solar eclipse. She called to ask the museum if they could move the eclipse to another day such that her own children could attend. Apparently her name was Darwinian (KISS FM Bellingham).

Another candidate for this award was a woman who drove her car with a propane BBQ, letting the gas off in the back seat. Her passenger, another woman of dubious but of a similar background to her then lit a cigarette. When the paramedics arrived all she could say was that she always wanted a convertible.

 

Jimmy Fallon criticizes Trump……. Who is Jimmy Fallon??

 

This just in: Why Duchess Kate isn’t allowed to sign autographs!  “She can’t write”… a palace official was overheard to say.

Jamie Oliver burnt his penis in a naked cooking demonstration…..”Hot Dogs anyone?? Hmmmmm??”

CRTC to comment on Canadian Content decisions……still waiting…..still waiting…..still waiting…..still waiting.

From the  I don’t give two flying F%$ks file: …..Oprah won’t marry Steadman Graham.

That’s all folks.

 

News that just can’t be made up.

 

SJ……Out.

Is That Zedd or Zee?

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Image result for passchendaele

Lest We Forget

 

Premier Wall retires from Provincial politics……Damn. Only premier left in this country with some balls to stand up to the Regressive Lefts. Premier Wynne, who has no balls…last time I checked…is jubilant.

“We can finally implement our agenda to control every aspect of Canadian lives…” someone was heard to say.

 

NHL threatens to cancel its 2018 draft in Dallas if city continues with its One Sex… One bathroom policy. This coming from an all male dominated oligarchical organization. No women allowed into this all boys club. They only have one bathroom in their boardrooms, for all the dicks that are part of this organization.

NHL? Stick it to sports and stay out of politics.

Why do we have to politicize everything these days?….Geesh.

 

NK / US Crisis

Image result for N Korean Officers military hats  This pic cracks me up.                Nah, Trump has nothing to worry about here.

Give your heads a shake, for crikey sakes. Ahhh, maybe not.

 

Bestiary Images:  Bestiary texts offer animal-lore as a source of allegorical lessons for moral spiritual guidance. The earliest bestiary manuscripts date to the beginning of the 12th century. Or…the everything you wanted to know about bestiary manual.

Interestingly, at the same time sheep proliferated throughout Europe, particularly in the UK. Wellies would not make their debut until centuries later. Then PETA.

 

Whales being threatened by shipping. In response to a whale watching collision with a humpback whale off Victoria BC recently, Ottawa has taken dramatic action to ensure the mammal rights of the right whale, or is that the left whale? Ships will now be banned from transiting the Juan de Fuca Strait. Liz May is beside herself with glee.

“Yeah, but what about banning or regulating those whale watching boats…” someone with common sense asked of the government.

“This is really an issue of the left whale not knowing what the right whale is doing.” said a government spokesperson in response. “We will immediately set up a mammal rights commission on both coasts. We’ll have a whale of a time here guys and gals.

 

Government leaders in BC state that if Kinder Morgan pipeline tries to go through you will see protests out here the likes you have never seen….great. Just what we need. More instability.

BC Green leader states that: “In the B.C. Green caucus’s view (3 people), the National Energy Board process that led to this project’s approval was profoundly flawed,” Weaver said in a statement. He / they should know…right? “Numerous questions remain unanswered or were simply dismissed (Victoria Times Colonist).

Of course it was flawed. It ruled against the Green Party’s wishes. No fossil fuels period. Nada, niet whatsoever. Fossils are so, so 20th Century, don’t you know? Just like you Mr Weaver.

Hear are our Provincial leaders who castigate national energy strategic initiatives to further their own ideological agendas. To hell with the rest of Canada, oh except for Canada Day that is: “Don’t we live in such a grand diversified country where compromise is our strength in depth!”

Canada Day over now? Yes…oh those federal bastards and no good idiots east of the Rockies…F$#k them.

I still cannot get over the fact that a party that won only 3 seats out of 87 wields so much power in this province.

I just hope none of these gonads comes down with a life threatening health problem. If they do they will be thankful for the petroleum industry.

Canada is becoming a third world basket case!

 

Canadian diplomat suffered hearing loss while in Cuba. Blames it all on Climate Change and the Salsa!

 

This just in: eight things your farts can reveal about your health….yeah, I know of only one and….it stinks, now get off the couch!

 

20M jobs on the way if Canada adopts green agenda. Of course, but the narrative left one word out of their announcement. It should have read: 20M jobs on the way…out!

 

From the “Who gives a Fu$k factor:” Zedd on dating Selena Gomez. Or is that Zee.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

SJ……out.

 

Bone Heads!

Passchendaele

May – Nov 1917

The Mud and the Blood

Image result for passchendaeleCan you imagine fighting in this environment

 

Google: Diversity of opinion is our strength and the cornerstone of our success.  They then go out and fire a senior computer engineer for daring to criticize the organization. I just transferred to Bing. Google really is Big Brother and the Holding Company!

 

WW3 Battle of the Nuclear Hairstyles. In this corner Kim Flung Poo – Leader of the Bone Heads and in the other corner Donald J TRUMP – the Apprentice Politician.

Donald Trump Hair

Image result for kim jong un

 

No clear winner here!

 

Saw a great Tee today with the caption:

Your (insert whatever here) sucks and your (insert whatever here) is ugly.

 

From the world of obviousness comes this: according to a poll the majority of Europeans would not fight for their country. Worst continent of countries in the world that would cut and run. France leading the charge with the most white flag factories per capita than anywhere in the world. And you know what? They have two world wars to prove it. Just bitch, whine and criticize those countries who come and bail you out. I include the UK in this mix. But, not the next time. When the Muslims overtake you guys do not come running or crying to us here in North America to help you out. We will not answer the call.

Where oh where is Charles the “Hammer” Martel when you need him.

 

From the waiting for the crash file comes this; Tesla testing its new semi-truck self driving technology in Nevada desert. Yeah. Lots of traffic road rage there buddy.

Another obviousness comment: Marijuana use may be bad for hypertension problems and impact brain and cognitive functionality. Only problem with this study is that the researchers couldn’t get their target audience to respond to their tests or questions when asked. A side bar: Incidences of Dorito purchases skyrocketed.

Never heard of this oxymoronic tidbit of news. CBC has a Comedy App. Has had it up and running for three years now. This must be a joke!

I can’t believe this: Albertan triple murdered gets 75 years without any chance for parole. No way. Not in Canada. Wait for the appeal. This will be reduced down to a more acceptable 3-5 years, less with time served. Out in 6 months. Guaranteed. He didn’t mean to do it…honest! Trudope believes him, sympathizes with him and will support his appeal with a $10.5M grant

With respect to all the insanity surrounding the N Korean / US vocal spat, why is all the rhetorical focus and criticism on Trump? Kim Flung Poo gets a free ride. How can anyone trust guys who wear hats like this.

Image result for N Korean Officers military hats I think we will be okay.

Those are MAGA Hats man.

Image result for Coneheads 1993

Cone heads? Meet the Bone heads!

Go Trump Go. Make America Great Again.

Another bit from the obviousness file: The National Post’s Andrew Coyne hates Donald Trump.

Weather causes PTSD, which in turn is caused by Climate Change. Just stay indoors or in your bubble.

Climate Change is behind the failure of Gore’s new documentary. Movie theatres refused to take any climate change for admission. Bitcoins only.

 

 

SJ….Out

 

 

Udderly Bizzaro

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Canadian Memorial

 

Leonardo Di Crapio just bought a beachfront lot and cottage at Malibu. “How’s that sea level rising catastrophe working for you Leonardo?” This from the same guy who thought an Alberta chinook was climate change ground zero. Millennials? How can you believe the shyte from this shyster.

Why is it that Climate shysters and false prophets can say anything at all, truth be damned, and the press eats it all up as fact? People? Just take a look out your window.

Refugees from the United States continue to flow into Canada via Quebec and Manitoba unabated. Politicians say let them in. I say keep them out. In a country where you can get a ticket and huge fine for fishing without a licence but can come into the country illegally without recriminations is in my view…no country. Does sovereignty mean nothing to Turdope? I want my country back. Leftie activism is destroying our society and way of life. Is there no rule of law anymore in Canada?

PETA compares dairy farming to rape. No way say the farmers. The dairy farmers categorically tell us that they can’t find boots big enough to accord them. Next up: PETA wants to take sheep farmers “wellies” away from them as well. PETA says:”Help end violence, reproductive control, and rape of females of animal species who desperately need us to speak up for them.” No lets get rid of PETA. They have no clue and yet the media continues to give them a platform. Question for PETA. One of your more famous spokespersons has boobs that are udderly huge. Is this person a good role model to progress your stupidity about “cows” producing milk?

Migrant pitches rocks into an Italian restaurant. Complains that the bread sticks were stale and the pasta overcooked.

Reports from US intelligence states that North Korea had produced a miniature sized nuclear warhead for its miniature sized missiles. Don’t worry Trump. It turns out that this miniature warhead was produced so that Kim Sung Poo can have a leg up on his opponent when he plays “Battleship” during his weekly bath time. Why are so many men called “Kim” in North Korea? Are they all transgendered over there? Have you noticed the size of the hats that the military Officers wear?

Japanese have invented ice cream that doesn’t melt. Problem is is that it doesn’t melt in your mouth either, or in your stomach. After eating some people complained that they felt like they had a brick sitting in their stomachs or stuck in their throats. Passing was a challenge as well. No thanks. I like licking my fingers. Melting ice cream equates to summer.

People across southern Europe – Spain, Italy, Balkans, Greece etc  complaining that tourism is wrecking their lives and standard of living. It has to stop. Okay, I am willing to go somewhere else. Be careful what you wish for and by the way, I hear that there are about 6 million illegal refugees and migrants ready to take their place.

A Trump senior aid believes Google, and Facebook should be treated like any other utility, such as a sewage treatment facility!

Hey, governments at all levels don’t give two hooters about debt – so why should I?

Home building is booming in Canada. Trouble is is that no Canadian can afford them. They’re being built to accommodate offshore investors. Sad

I saw a headline from a national newspaper that still claims Russia got Trump elected. No, the US electorate did. Stop spreading fake news.

This just in from the Climate Change file: Dodgy greenhouse gases from Italy detected by Swiss monitoring stations? In response Italy cracks down on the production of mozzarella sticks and meatball producing factories. Beano is next to go one Italian spokesperson was heard to remark.

Gores latest climate change disaster sequel performs poorly at the box office. Blames poor performance on Climate Change. Just another fad someone was heard to say. Ho Hum! Pass the popcorn. Prediction alert: Gore’s sequel wins 2017 Oscar for best documentary; accompanying song wins Oscar for best song and Gore wins second Nobel peace prize.

I can’t make this stuff up people.

 

 

SJ……….out.