Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Yesterday

Ah, yesterday, the good ole days, or a plant based diet coming to a Whole Foods outlet near you!

Slide 3 of 30: If food was plentiful, say thanks to a glut of berries or following a big game kill, bygone hunter-gatherers probably worked even fewer hours. They would also have taken time off to perform religious rituals, bury the dead, dabble in cave painting, and other non-work activities.Hunter-gatherer in Stone Age Europe: three to five hours a day, 365 days a year

If food was plentiful, say thanks to a glut of berries or following a big game kill, bygone hunter-gatherers probably worked even fewer hours. They would also have taken time off to perform religious rituals, bury the dead, dabble in cave painting, and other non-work activities.

Just like the Liberal MPs.

Slide 10 of 30: Life was far from easy for peasants in England in the Middle Ages, but their lot did improve after the Black Death when available land and average wages increased. According to Oxford don James E Thorold Rogers, the typical working day consisted of no more than eight hours of toil. Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight.Peasant in medieval England: eight hours a day, 150 days a year

Life was far from easy for peasants in England in the Middle Ages, but their lot did improve after the Black Death when available land and average wages increased. According to Oxford don James E Thorold Rogers, the typical working day consisted of no more than eight hours of toil. Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight.

And…..

Minister of Parliament in medieval Canada: 1 hour a day, 10 days a year.

See the source image

Medieval Canadian MP’s question period

Life was far from easy for MPs in Canada in the Middle Ages, but their lot did not really improve even after the Black Death killed most of their constituents. According to Univershity of Ottawa mafia don James E Thoroughly Pissed, the typical working day for these MPs consisted of no more than one hour a day of toil. Sometimes they worked 0ne and a half hours a day but generally during those busy times they had at least one hour of nap time. But the MPs made the most of their considerable leisure time for when they were not out burying their constituents they took time out to hit the local bath houses, watch the submarine races by the Ottawa River, view gladiator competitions and theatrical performances while getting a piece of tale under the Peace Tower, attend public executions of distinguished Canadians, especially the military, take part in orgies, and a whole lot more besides. As one savvy observer noted: “The Black Death cannot come back to Parliament Hill soon enough.”

They would also have taken time off to perform religious rituals, bury the dead, dabble in cave painting, and other non-work activities.

“Drugs from Canada? Why not?” Trump says: “I hear that BC Bud is wickedly good.”

Don’t Try This at Home

 

BIG NEWS – Verified by NOAA – poor weather station siting leads to artificial long term warming. Wow???!!!???

Wonder what a slow news day at NOAA is like.

According to official Liberal policy “A terrorist is not a terrorist. If my mother had 4 detonators she would be a Mack truck – so says a prominent Canadian government official. Meanwhile at a local terrorist new farm market near Newmarket Ontario:

Police north of Toronto have charged a father and son after officers found explosive materials and a detonator device and chemicals at a home in Richmond Hill, Ont.

Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale said the arrests and charges are a local matter that concerns York police and there is no known connection to national security. “There is no known connection to any issue related to national security,” he said in Ottawa. “It is a local policing matter. Obviously they’ve made arrests, they’ve laid charges, and it’s up to them to comment further.”

“No comment.” the local police commented after hearing Mr Goodale’s comments.

Only in Canada

Soon to be coming to a country near you.

Paul Joseph Watson banned from Facebook and Twitter for his Conservative views.

Good Vegan / Bad Vegan (thanks to Maggie’s Farm)

“I have no argument with people who adopt a vegetarian or vegan diet for health, religious, environmental or ethical reasons. But I object vehemently to proselytizers who distort science or the support for dietary advice offered to the more than 90 percent of us who choose to consume animal foods, including poultry and red meat, in reasonable amounts.

“Such is the case with a recently released Netflix documentary called “What the Health” that several well-meaning, health-conscious young friends have urged me to watch. And I did try, until I became so infuriated by misstatements – like eating an egg a day is as bad as smoking five cigarettes, or that a daily serving of processed meat raises the risk of diabetes 51 percent — that I had to quit for the sake of my health. While the film may have laudable goals, getting the science wrong simply confuses the issues and infuriates those who might otherwise be supportive.

As in Climate Change you mean? Science? As in the world is flat because the street where I live is flat and not curved so I must be right and the science is wrong – in that the earth IS flat!

“Please understand: I do not endorse inhumane treatment of farm animals or wanton pollution of the environment with animal wastes and misused antibiotics and pesticides. Agricultural research has long shown better ways to assure the nation of an adequate food supply if only regulators would force commercial operations to adopt them. Nor do I endorse careless adoption of vegetarian or vegan diets for their name’s sake. A vegan who consumes no animal products can be just as unhealthy living on inappropriately selected plant foods as an omnivore who dines heavily on burgers and chicken nuggets. A vegan diet laden with refined grains like white rice and bread; juices and sweetened drinks; cookies, chips and crackers; and dairy-free ice cream is hardly a healthful way to eat.

No, but this is:

The Dairy…er Diary of A Wimpy

1984 Turns 70-Years-Old In A World That Looks A Lot Like The Book;

And CNN wonders why it is rated as a bottom feeder of credible news networks:

CNN Panel: Americans Too Dumb To Stop Trump…

Tim Conway passed away yesterday; R.I.P

A classic, memorable, sad nostalgic song for simpler days and ways.

Have a great Navy day.

 

SJ……….………………………Out

 

 

 

Brothers in Arms

Doris Day passed away yesterday.

Slide 1 of 14: Doris Day was born on April 3, 1922 in Cincinnati, Ohio as Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff. She looks pretty good for 97!                        Just kidding. America’s sweetheart. All us Boomers grew up with her. And Rock Hudson.

Weird Headlines but all true. Italics are mine.

Journalism is Dead – Long Live the Media…say what?

Diversity and the Welfare State – they go hand out hand don’t they?

I see dead people…and CO2

No way Greta…I do…I was first…so there. 

So shut down our economy EU….er Mommy? What’s an economy? Dead people?…you could say that honey.

China’s Latest Crackdown Target are Liberal Economists…you know dead people?

CNN wonders if Trumps July 4th speech will call for violence…against CNN.

Conservative Paul Joseph Watson is banned from Facebook…that beacon of free speech and liberty. Good riddance…er Facebook, not Watson.

Experv…er expert Psychologist Blocked on Twitter for Expressing Clinical Opinion on Transgenderism. LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community is all in a twitter and a tizzy over this one. Truth hurts you know. 

Conservative Student Expelled from Berkeley for Using Hate Phrase “I Disagree.” Liberal student welcomed with open arms for his counterpunch: “I agree.” Ooo, the state of our Univershities today.

Whatever Happened To Obamacare?…who cares?

Schiff: Biden Ukraine Scandal Should Be Off Limits…those cabbage rolls were nasty!

“If I Had The Fire-Power” To Ban Guns “I Would”…

AOC: Don’t Let Rich Capitalists Deny You A Living Wage Or That $7.95 Iced Coffee. Capitalist bastards. They should have added a “joint” to that latte. Capitalist oppression!

Administration to Crack Down on Illegals in Public Housing – Only Families where ALL MEMBERS of the family are illegal will Qualify.

Trump doesn’t understand economics. Democrats do. They love “trickle up” economics where all of your hard earned money ends “up” in their pockets.

Following Venezuela’s lead, Cuba launches widespread rationing in face of crisis. Where Canada may be going as well. Especially with those fossil fools.

A little Mongo humour, an interlude from these whacko headlines.

Back

Speaking of Cuba, and Venezuela:

“Given that the anthropogenic climate change and resource footprint accusations against livestock agriculture do not hold water, what’s really behind the plant-based diet agenda?
 
Well, the empirical evidence suggests it is the advancement of plant-based diets for all.
 
Indeed, the plant-based and alternative protein movement is about more than industry disruption. It’s an ideology, one hell-bent on replacing traditional food with a utopian “food” solution – it’s political as much as it is commercial…and the U.N is behind this. Time to get our of this organization.

Guess who’s coming to dinner…and…Where’s the beef?

Only in Canada….shitty:

Liberal government of Canada recognizes Canada’s European liberation contribution during the 2nd World War… May 8 VE Day.

Check out those Canadian uniforms. Although given our government’s support of our military and their handling of the Admiral Norman affair, it comes as no surprise to me. Embarrassing.

October cannot come soon enough.

Have a great day.

 

SJ……….………..Out

Spirits in the Sky

Sorry for the delay. Server problems again. Hey, crap happens:

Given that an election is coming up soon in Canada, here is a little take on the famous Abbot and Costello skit: Who’s on First. A repeat worth repeating:

COSTELLO:    I want to talk about the unemployment rate in Canada

ABBOTT:        Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO:    That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT:         No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO:    You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT:         5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO:    Right, 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT:         No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO:    Okay, so it’s 23% unemployed.

ABBOTT:         No, that’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO:    WAIT A MINUTE.  Is it 5.6% or 23%?

 ABBOTT:        5.6% are unemployed.  23% are out of work.

 COSTELLO:    If you are out of work you are unemployed

ABBOTT:        No, Trudeau said you can’t count the “Out of Work”  as the
unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO:   BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT:        No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO:   What point?

ABBOTT:        Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with
those who look for work.  It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO:    To whom?

ABBOTT:        The unemployed.

COSTELLO:    But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT:        No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.  Those who
are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO:   So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT:        Unemployment would go down.  Absolutely!

COSTELLO:   The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for
work?

ABBOTT:        Absolutely it goes down.  That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO:    Wait, I got a question for you  That means there are two ways
to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT:        Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO:    Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT:        Correct.

COSTELLO:    And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT:        Bingo.

COSTELLO:   So there are two ways to bring unemployment down,  and the
easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT:       Now you’re thinking like a Liberal.

COSTELLO:   I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT:       Now you’re thinking like Trudeau

And more election fodder to think about:

file:///C:/Users/John/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/INetCache/IE/SIS33M8W/WebPage.pdf

A good read.

How is a 4 cents a liter, 10 cents, 50 cents, a dollar a litre tax going to stop climate change? It can’t and it will not. It will only fill the coffers of the Federal and Provincial Governments and make us poorer for it.

Why is it that when a total eclipse of the sun occurs, which happened in our area in Sep 2017, the ambient temp fell by 10 degrees – when the “so called” experts say that the sun has nothing to do with our climate?

Why do our politicians keep referring to CO2 as a poison when clearly it is essential for all life on earth?

Saying that we can save the planet and mitigate the climate is like saying that we can prevent another solar eclipse; or that we can somehow change the geographical contours of the Grand Canyon. Such is the arrogance of our political parties.

Wake up Canadians to this huge fraud.

Love this song. A psychedelic Christian song that was written and performed by an orthodox Jew…1969.

Have a great day.

SJ……….…………………………………..Out

Stuff For A Thursday

I just received my tax return assessment. It ain’t pretty:

Got that right.

CRA (Canada’s tax agency) always tries to make you feel good when they’re screwing you or ripping you off:

Those pencil necks.

“Meghan Markle’s dress after the birth of her new baby shocked me” so says some fashionable fashionista. No this shocked me as she goes on to say:

“Wearing white is downright brave. The days and weeks after having a baby are basically equivalent to the heaviest period of your life. In the first week postpartum, the bleeding is so heavy that most women usually wear thick padded pairs of disposable mesh underwear they give you in the hospital, because the bleeding is so intense that you would ruin any underwear you personally own.”

Something I really do not need to know.

And with Harry, the fashionista continues:

“Harry looked as proud as punch to be wearing the black sports top, which also had the Invictus Games logo stitched on it. It spelt out “I am Daddy” in yellow. Aw shucks!”

Meghan looked as proud as a punch buggy as she said: “I am mommy” in red.  Aw yucks.

And this is news why? 

Amanda Knox is returning to Italy for a crimes conference. The title of her presentation is: “Stupid Is As Stupid Does.” It is expected that she will have an extended vacation there once her presentation is over.

Rhetoric between two of Canada’s top politicians. Doug Ford, Premier of Ontario and John Tory, Mayor of Canada’s largest city:

a person wearing a suit and tie: Tijana Martin/Canadian Press“Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? yeah” and on and on it goes. Take that…Kapow!

Summer ‘s here already with 26 degree C temps in Victoria.

Victoria lawn furniture…by Ford.

See the source imageSee the source imageSomewhere in Langford, or the Western Communities, Greater Victoria.

Meanwhile, in the Netherlands. Backyard furniture by Heineken:

Translation: C’mon in, the beer is fine.

Me and my girlfriend tried “Hello Fresh” for one week and this is how we look now:

See the source image

Slide 1 of 15: Relationship coach, motivational speaker and bestselling author Grace Cirocco says one of the biggest indicators that a partner may be tempted to cheat (if they aren’t already) has to do with distancing. “If your partner is spending less and less time with you," it could be a major red flag, notes Cirocco. "If your partner is making excuses not to be alone with you… In my experience, there is a distancing that happens for one person.” Don’t ignore these signs that you may need marriage help – before it’s too late.15 signs your partner may be cheating on you.

“C’mon Susan, I didn’t really mean what I said.” George pleaded.

“My name ‘s Charlene Chris”

Sometimes, as the world gets crazier by the minute, one could only wish for that asteroid’s deep impact:

Child abuse.

I see dead trees and CO2

The Greenies and the UN’s IPCC are getting desperate now for one world government. See asteroid above. Target? UN Headquarters in New York City…oh, and Stockholm Sweden.

New York University students want free college for all. “So we can Partay, Partay, Partay…then become like that girl like above like, I like her.”

“Like, we are like brainwashed and like we are like enjoying it”one Univershity (sic) of Hawaii stated as he was driving down the LikeLike Highway in Honolulu (see pencil neck video above).

Elizabeth May, Canada’s Green Party Leader of one…er now two…,is all excited as this new Green MP who recently won a By-Erection in Nanaimo BC.

“This win is a wakeup call for all Canadians.” she said categorically. “We have to destroy our economy right now to fight climate change and save the planet from ourselves.” as the new MP took his seat among the other 307 members, one of which is Elizabeth May.

Er from who Liz?

I prefer mine cooked:

Mongolian couple die of plague after eating raw Marmot.

Thanks to Maggie’s Farm

I am a veteran and proud of it. Yet Canada’s – Trudeau’s treatment of Admiral Norman, Canada’s second highest military man who was going to be charged with breach of trust (now dropped) is disgusting. I do believe many Canadians of millennial age, especially those who reside in British Columbia and Ontario (I said most, not all) do not have a clue. Sad state of Canadian affairs:

Obviously a Country and Western singer. True blue Americans – the so called deplorables – and Canadians. A brother and sister…hood that I am proud to be a part of. Thanks Mark and Mike and Dottie.

My take on a very famous Canadian WW1 battle. Vimy Ridge the battle that made Canadians proud.

The Ridge

Reflection’s wise. Its true insight flies

Throughout our minds yet forever binds us

To eternal life that is devoid of strife.

Just peaceful thoughts, not restless, nor caught

Into that web of war to tread,

Not normalcy! Pure madness bred our way to be.

Yet as one we brand an ancestral land

As our spirits rise to embrace God’s sky

And shed away our fears.

–

Our thoughts of home as our mothers roam

Among our graves, their faces brave

To the sadness here of men with fear

Yet for our nation’s prayers we died out there.

For a home sweet home, dear Canada

That knowledge bears a passion… flares

Within our hearts, to love; to shove

Our fears aside and run in stride

To get away from there.

–

Over top we’d go in whistled throes

That plundered us within gun sight foes.

Such madness…crushed, our brothers flush

With abject fear with those guns so near.

We’d pray in silence for our leader’s guidance

For in them we trust and as Canucks we thrust

So far ahead though we walked with dread.

With the barrage we shudder, our blanket cover

Dear God we’re scared.

–

The earth it shakes… please mothers take us

Into your arms and away from harm.

We’d fall in silence…there’s no pride in violence

We looked ahead for behind ’s our dead.

Their faces seared, no longer feared

Just a darkness now with thoughts that bow

To a light that’s gone, forever done.

For now it seems our passion stream

Is ebbing some for our time has come.

–

We fought for glory, each life a story

With silent breath we faced cruel death.

Our youthful brash ‘gainst madness, crashed

Into the mud, the cold, the blood.

That Ridge has been a horror scene.

A Ridge that bears our lives and shares

Blood curdling chills, then silence… killed.

And down we go with our cries now still

Just silent prayers to loved ones shared…so far from there.

–

The death knell rings for our lives and brings

A peace you share from that Ridge out there.

Is a peace we paved to our silent graves

With a peace we share in God’s love’s lair.

We were men of arms, a brotherhood

And beyond that Ridge, your nationhood.

With souls set free our spirits now see

Just peaceful lands and a national brand…your nation‘s free!

 

Yet horrendous loss this madness cost…Canadians!

–

Please…remember us

 

SJ……….………….Out

Pass the Joint Gladys

Slide 18 of 21: Williams Lake is a town of just over 10,600 in the central Interior of British Columbia. According to Maclean’s, the town has the highest per capita crime rate in the province. It’s ranked fourth in violent crime, third in sexual assaults, third in robbery, and fifth in cocaine trafficking crimes.In 2016, a gang-related shooting forced two area schools to close for the day. Local Indigenous leaders told the Globe and Mail shortly after the shooting that gang violence and the desperation caused by poverty had brought about an escalating crime problem. Although rates of drug-related crimes remained high in 2016, according to the Maclean’s analysis, rates of youth crime, assault, gun crime, robbery, and breaking and entering have all fallen.

What do Chilliwack, Port Alberni, Dawson Creek, Penticton, Terrace, Vernon, Prince George, Langley, William’s Lake British  Columbia- all have in common? They are part of the most dangerous places in Canada to live. All in the top 20. William’s Lake is rated number 4. So, 9 cities in British Columbia are rated in the top 20 of the most violent cities in Canada in which to live. Much of it due to poverty. And it is going to get worse given the government’s plan to stop or curtail all resource development in the Province.

“I have a dream,” the Premier said. “A Barista with a joint on every street corner of every city in this Province. Minimum wage for everybody. Every day will be 420 daze.” It must be the water man, and the stale air that we breathe. Second hand weed.

And in another Canadian City near you. The heads of Unifor and General Motors Canada are set to make an announcement this morning about the future of operations in Oshawa, Ont.

The General Motors assembly plant in Oshawa

“We have a dream.” they began “that there will be Baristas and a joint on evry street corner of this city, of this great city of Oshawa.”

See the source image“No, no, no.”, the Turd spoke. “I have the best dream of all. No more pipelines in this country for there will be a Barista and a joint on every street corner of every city of this great country of our. Yes I have a dream.”

And it’s an economic nightmare.

“Just livin the dream man, livin the dream.”

See the source image“Turn off the turd’s mind before it explodes. No wait…..”

Meghan and Harry have a new baby boy…named Sussex. My only comment. Who names their baby Sussex anyway. Sussex? That is a place, a county, a region of England as in the “Earl of Sussex.” It is also an area of Southern Ontario. Sussex? They grow Tomatoes there – and Heinz pickles and weed man. They must have had a Barista and a joint before naming that kid.

Poor kid.

Oh this is cute:

It’s always been a hot topic (oh really): LNG in Canada and B.C. but one First Nations organization says there is a lot of misinformation when it comes to Indigenous support during a Prince George panel visit today (March. 14)…oh really?

The First Nation LNG Alliance Society is a merging collective of First Nations that are associated with Coastal GasLink while also promoting the positives that could come out of such a project…positives? Really?

The Coastal GasLink project is roughly 670 km of pipeline that would deliver natural gas from the Dawson Creek area to a proposed LNG Canada facility located near Kitimat, B.C.

“We now have the opportunity to deliver our natural resources to tidewater which has been a challenge of B.C. and Canada in the past,” No? Really? former chief of McLeod Indian Band Derk Orr says. “In order to do that, it helps provide us with more dollars for our communities to build hospitals, community development and a number of areas.”

“Oh really! Pass the joint Gladys. A feel a barista coming on.”

Kate steps out in red, hours after baby Sussex photos. And this is news….why?

Denver Colorado says no to “magic mushrooms.” Expect a move to British Columbia cities soon.

“Pass the mushrooms Gladys. I’m feeling a bit peckish after that barista and joint.

After the Green’s By-Election win in Nanaimo where they arrogantly state that fighting climate change is Canada’s #1 priority comes this little nugget of news:

Poll: Do you agree with the call for Canada to cut its greenhouse gas emissions in half by 2030?

  • No (85%, 474 Votes)
  • Yes (15%, 86 Votes)

Total Voters: 560

The air was thick at the Green’s Party Headquarters after that bit of news. Baristas were flowing, the joints were rolling and the magic mushrooms growing among the green delegates.

Global warming cockus (sic) meeting in France, May 2019.

Bring it on. Arctic blast envelops much of Europe. Hey, but that’s only weather man. We’re talking climate here.

Colorado Rocky Mountain High

Pass that joint Gladys.

Have a great day.

SJ……….………………………….Out