A Dysfunctional Community of Practice

One day in the fall I happened to be walking past our community recreation centre, which is adjacent to the old and unused tennis courts. I noticed that my good friend Ian was out there lashing a large pile of 2 x 4s together. Ian, being about 70 years old with knees as solid as chocolate mouse, appeared to be somewhat distressed.  Concerned, I went over to give him a hand. It turned out that he was just in the throes of beginning the preliminary work of constructing an outside ice-hickey rink for the youth of our village.

 

“Need a hand Ian.” I asked rather sheepishly.

 

“Yup.” Ian didn’t mince his words.

 

For the next day and a half I helped Ian construct the various frames required for the integrity of the side and end boards necessary for an outdoor hockey rink.

 

“That felt pretty good” I thought.  I was somewhat energized.

 

The following weekend a slew of men and women came together to actually put up the boards themselves. Before long our hockey rink took shape.

 

“Who are these guys and gals?” I wondered, aloud.

 

“That’s the Manotick Community Association” Ian volunteered.

 

Later that winter our village put on a Winter Carnival – “Shiver Fest” as it was called. It was great fun – outdoor and indoor activities where the whole community came out to put aside the February blahs and party, skate, gossip and play a little chin music.  A few days later I received a newsletter from the Manotick Community Association highlighting the success of the winter festival’s activities and thanking everyone involved who had volunteered their time.  Hey, I even received a honourable mention for my work on the hockey rink. I felt pretty good about that. Great stuff!

 

Now, being 52 years old one would think that I would know better.  But oh noooo, I was still as naïve as a self-assured, cocky, but unconscious teenaged dude. You see, I sent the association an e-mail thanking them for their efforts and offering my limited carpentry or grunt work services if the need should ever arrive. Well, before I could say “Community of Practice,” I found myself as a member of one of the association’s committees – the Hazardous Waste Committee to boot.  Crap, did they know something about my lifestyle that I didn’t? I must admit I did work for Imperial Tobacco a long, long time ago… I was their chain smoker!!

 

What to do? How can I get myself out of this?

 

“Look John” I said to myself. “You have always felt the need to belong to something – right?  Becoming involved with this community association may just be the ticket to your sense of well-being.A real feeling of belonging to a real Community of Practice, of purpose.”

 

“Yes, perhaps Johnny,” my evil twin added. “But the time, the time. You’ve been on these tribal councils before with Little League Baseball and Minor Hockey. The horror…the horror… You know the frustrations and dynamics of human nature. The process-ers, the naysay-ers, the chicken little-ers, the handwringers, the movers and shakers, the goody two shoe-ers, the workers, the – “I must be in charge at all cost-ers.”  “Yeah John, I know all that, but maybe this will be different”

 

“With whom on God’s green earth are you talking to??” my wife yelled.

 

I became engaged, a full participant. I was now a bona fide member of the Manotick Community Association – Hazardous Waste Committee dude. Hey, besides having a very, very warm and fuzzy feeling of belonging and community pride maybe I’ll learn something here and make some new friends.

 

About a month later I went to my first Association meeting. Ever so shyly, I climbed the stairs and entered the community hall. About 50 people had already gathered – talking, chattering, laughing, and making a whole lot of racket such that the noise level set off my tinnitus. Eying the forum for a familiar face, I noticed one of my old-timer ice-hockey colleagues, sitting by himself. I sauntered over and sat down beside him.

 

“Hey Vic, great season eh?” “No broken bones.”  For guys like us that’s a great season.

 

He laughed. Apparently Vic was a lurker, a regular here. He knew everyone:  their strengths and foibles, weaknesses and interests, everything.  He was a long time resident of Manotick so I figured he more than anyone else here could mentor me with the proceedings and nuances of the group.

 

Call to order. The Executive was up front facing us.  Manotick Mike, the president of the Manotick Community Association, took up the mic to call the meeting to order.

 

…Pause to note: There are two Mike Smiths in our village. One lives in the village itself and is the President of the Community Association. Hence “Manotick Mike”. The other Mike Smith lives just outside the village and runs his own business.  He is known as “Concrete Mike.” He is in the reification business…

 

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch. Yikes, my tinnitus. I cried and cringed. Those squealing sound waves bouncing and ricocheting across that cavernous hall like those fingers scratching up the old school blackboard. Good gawd man. Small town or what?

 

Like Vic I decided to just sit back and lurk. I felt that it was safer that way as I did not want to embarrass myself with my procedural ineptness. Or perhaps I was just a little shy and self-conscious.

 

“They have an agenda” Vic told me. “First they’ll introduce themselves, welcome new members, blah, blah, blah.  You know, that introductory, nauseating stuff. – a real crock man”

 

Sure enough, I was welcomed as the Hazardous Waste Committee’s newbee (sic-k) volunteer. A round of applause.

 

“That always happens” Vic said. “Let’s make the sucker…. Oh I’m sorry John, volunteer, feel welcome – a real crock man!”

 

“Okay folks, on with our first agenda item – changes and amendments to our constitution” Manotick Mike announced. “Amendments to our charter.”

 

Vic leaned over: “Okay John, here come the process-ers.”

 

Vic was right as about three or four people tabled about 50 gazillion amendments. The process-ers and wordsmith-ers bogged us down.

 

“But we think ‘the’ should be changed to ‘those’. And delete ‘it’ on page 3, para 2 subsection 1, sub para (a) and add ‘these.’  It makes no sense in the context of this constitution, blah, blah, blah.”

 

Votes: Yay…. Nay….the nays have it, and on and on it went for about 1 ½ hours. Jeez, and only the first item of the agenda too.

 

“What on earth is happening?” I asked Vic.

 

“It happens all the time he said. A real crock.  We come up with a really great idea and concept – in this case Manotick community involvement – but the process-ers end up reifying the structural process of the group to such a degree and extent that it becomes abstract – no one can really understand what we’re talking about or doing anymore.”

 

“Hmmm, profound thought,” I thought.

 

“But here is where it gets interesting” Vic pointed out.

 

One of the process-ers put forth an amendment that stated that only those members who live within the 555 telephone exchange could be eligible to be president of the association.

 

“What is this?” I asked Vic.

 

“It’s a real crock man. That process guy is also one of those – I gotta be in charge at all cost-ers – type.  Manotick Mike now lives just outside the village. This guy wants him out so he can run for President.  A real crock” he added.

 

“Wow!” I thought. Brutal! And I thought this was going to be a friendly group!

 

The meeting went on for about 3 hours. I sat and listened and learned a great deal about what to expect from this group.  Sure enough, lots of discussion and heated debate from a few, but no action forthcoming – the naysay-ers and hand wringers.  Manotick Mike pleaded at times for volunteers.  What was interesting to me was that many of the volunteers who did come forward were individuals who had no apparent reason to volunteer in the first place.  It was a negotiated settlement on their part I would think. Ah, yes, the work-ers.

 

One lady got up and told us she was a member of the village’s Horticultural Society. She planted here, she planted there, she planted everywhere.

 

“I horticultured this, I horticultured that. I can horticulture up a storm.” She squawked

 

“You need flowers – I’ll horticulture them for you.”

 

“Must be the horticultural village idiot” I mused.

 

“No” Vic laughed, “She owns the village florist shop. What a crock of horticultural doo-doo.”

 

“Yeah” I added. “She should be planted – 6 ft under”

 

“Okay, so who wants to take the lead on our village’s main street beautification project?” Manotick Mike asked. No response.

 

Wow. What dynamics. It turned out that some lady who worked at the local senior citizens agency finally agreed to take on this initiative and accepted the role. I wonder who’s going to be breathing down her back?
“What a crock” Vic whispered.  “A hand-wringer for sure that horticulturalist.”

 

And on and on it went.  Yes, as a group we are just a little eccentric, a bit dysfunctional perhaps.  But you know what? We are a community of like-minded individuals who collectively want to make a difference in our town and in our lives.  We do practice what we preach and act on what we believe in.  Each and every one of us has the best interests of our community at heart – even if the process is torturous at times.

 

Teething problems? You bet. And while the group reflects the whole realm of human nature: emotions, foibles, strengths and weaknesses, we are all committed to a common goal of making Manotick the very best place to live in the Ottawa Valley. We’ll either have one heck of a time doing this as a Community of Practice, of Purpose or Resolve, or we’ll all slit our wrists in the process.  Nevertheless, when our collective knowledge begins to gel, watch out. There’ll be no stopping us.

 

“By the way Vic, what are you doing now that you’re retired?” I queried

 

“My wife and I have opened a pottery shop in the village”

 

“Oh yeah” I continued somewhat surprised. “Doing what? Making vases, bowls, jars?”

 

“No, crock pots. We make crock pots!!!”

 

I should have guessed.

 

Oh, and I forgot one other type of member. Those Betty Crock-ers!!

 

Me?  As a member of Manotick’s Hazardous Waste Committee, I’m currently up to my armpits in you know what.  It ain’t pretty but it is for the collective goo goo this doo doo

Shakey Jay

“Hey Jay? What’s shakin today eh? Hey, I’m a poet.

 “Yes you are George, yes you are”

“So Jay, before we even get started with all the craziness out there I would like to know one thing. How’d you get that handle, Shakey Jay anyway?”

“Well you see George, my hands shake. And my left hand really shakes. Much worse than the right. So most of my friends and not so friends call me Shakey. But I don’t mind. You see, whenever I had to perform in front of a crowd or give a presentation or a speech, the audience would equate my shakin hands to nervousness.  Yet I am no more nervous than any one else.  If one is anxious before public speaking, well so am I.  If one’s hands sweat, well so do mine. If one has butterflies in their gut well so do I only mine are bigger. But, on top of all of that I have an additional affliction. No, affliction is not the right word here. A physical trait is more like it. It is something that is called a Benign Familial Tremour. I have had it all my life. Benign because it doesn’t grow as an affliction; Familial as it is hereditary, normally on the male side of a family, and Tremour for obvious reasons. It is now called an Essential Tremour although I really see nothing essential about it.”

“Sorry to interrupt Jay but again, who is one?”

 “Let me share a very short but personal journey with you George.”

 “I first noticed that something might be amiss with my hands when I was about 6 years old. On those summer days: hot, humid and sweaty, with a parched thirst, I would run to the fridge and to the consternation of all mothers out there, grab the chocolate milk carton with my sweaty, dirty palms, and bring my chapped, cracked, swollen dry lips to the spout and chug a lug to my hearts content. With my right hand there didn’t seem to be a problem. But when I grabbed it with my left hand, that carton would be a shakin all over. The contents of which were a shakin with me and a shakin all over me.  But that was okay you see because for every swill with my left hand I had a chocolate milk shake.”

 “It became apparent that the medical profession would not be in the cards for me. Indeed, dental surgery, neurosurgery was definitely out of the question. And you know what? I always wondered why on earth my parents never ever bought me a chemistry set as a kid.”

 “As I got older I had to be very careful with the kind of work I did. Summer jobs were quite plentiful but some, like waiting tables, were not in the cards. But there was one city construction job that was right up my alley…workin the jackhammer. This job masked my physical trait…. and everything else for that matter – and our crew was something else indeed. Man oh man I cannot begin to tell you or show you how a crew of jackhammer artistes act while taking a break…off the job. But one thing I learned very quickly. Never, ever buy hot coffee during stand easy. And hot soup was definitely a no-no during lunch.”

 “Nevertheless I moved on and was quite capable of living with my physical peculiarity. I joined the Navy at 23. During basic training there was one performance objective that really called for a steady hand… the small arms range. Needless to say I and my instructors were just a tad concerned.  But you know what? With the rifle I had absolutely no difficulty at all. That’s because the NATO Standard FN rifle was heavy and I, being a left handed shot, had no difficulties with it. I actually attained marksman status at 1000 meters.”

 “The sub machine gun was a blast as well. On single shot, I did have some difficulty and didn’t quite make the grade. But on staccato burst – man oh man – another story. The breech action on short burst was made for my affliction.  And on fire for effect – full throttle, well those instructors had never seen anything like it.  When my left handed finger action was engaged, nothing, and I mean nothing, was safe within a 25 yard radius I can tell you that. But there was one small arms weapon that was cause for concern: the 9mm pistol. Right handed, not too bad, both hands, I passed. But left handed? Not only did I hit my own target but I hit every other damn target down that firing line, without even trying. With my eyes closed for heaven sakes.  It was a beautiful sight I can tell you seeing all of those other cadets on the firing line fall in turn or in unison and in panic to the ground for cover in perfect military fashion. Notwithstanding, even though I failed in the 9mm and was up for a career review because of it, I was able to convince the instructors that being on a ship the only gun I would ever fire would be a 5in 54 single shot howitzer that weighed in about 20 tons. I told the staff that I didn’t think I could lift it with my left hand.  Needless to say common sense prevailed and I passed.”

 “As the years went on the condition began to bug me as it would externalized my nervousness. So I went to see a neurologist.”

 “Doc, what on earth can I do about this.”

 “Well, he said, what seems to calm it down.”

 “Well, says I, I do notice that when I have a few shooters the shakiness is less pronounced.”

 “Well try that” he said.

 “So, I did. It worked but not without its problems. You see, with a few shooters under the belt one gets a false sense of courage. I gave my presentation and asked for questions. One came. It was so stupid that I told the guy in no uncertain terms that his question was dumb and didn’t deserve an answer!”

 Back to the doctor.

 “Try these pills” he said, “but watch the dosage. Take 20 mg and see how that works out.”

 “So, for the next presentation, a few minutes beforehand, I took the pill. It didn’t seem to work so I took another 2 just in case. Well, blah, blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah. Whew.”

 “Back to the doctor. He laughed, “you idiot. It takes about an hour for the pill to kick in. Try ½ dosage to start with.”

“Okay. I followed instructions and gave the presentation. Now, from your perspective it may have sounded all right. But from my perspective it sounded kind of like this……………..Myyyyy naaaameeee is Jaaaaayyyyyyy. After a few tries I succeeded in finding the right dose and things seemed to be less pronounced.

As time went on I learned every trick there is to mask the shakiness. So, like most people I have all of the common side effects in prepping for a presentation but with this one exception. Yet for me it has never been an affliction, just a physical trait, that’s all. And besides, unlike you, when a good tune comes on the radio, I can be a shakin all over……… without even trying.

 

 

“And that’s all she wrote George”

 

“Shakey Jay huh? Somewhat appropriate. See ya later Jay, till next time. Oh by the way, who’s she?”

 

“Bye George, eee gads!”

Those Dastardly Brits and the Evil British Empire

Watching the Royals yesterday at their welcoming ceremony at the Victoria legislature got me to thinking of some of the hypocrisy of these visits with respect to certain elements of the welcoming committee. It wasn’t too long ago that the Mayor of Victoria and four of the city’s councillors refused to swear allegiance to the Queen. Irrelevant they suggested and the Mayor herself offered her support only to First Nations. Huh, well hey, what about me??

In 2015 the Nanaimo city council cut off funding to the annual Empire Day’s organizing committee, unless they changed their name to something less offensive to First Nations. Oh I know: “Queen and Country Days”

“Times are changing,” said Nanaimo City Councillor Diane Brennan. “The term empire is hurtful. It’s a reminder of colonization and oppression of the indigenous people and it’s caused great suffering.”

 Emmy Manson, a councillor with the local Snuneymuxw First Nation, agrees.

“I guess for me it triggers some old history that really isn’t positive for our people,” said Manson.

That history includes residential schools, loss of language and culture and displacement. (sorry to say but this had nothing to do with the Brits)

 Manson said she and other Snuneymuxw people do not attend the event because of its connotation.

“I get why we celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday,” said Manson. “I think that’s what it ought to be called.” (CBC, 22 Jan 2015)

 Well excuse me for a minute Ms Manson but Queen Victoria was the figurehead of that dastardly evil empire that triggers the micro-aggression you refer to.

 My thoughts:

Taking the City of Nanaimo’s lead, perhaps now is the time to change the name of the Victoria Day celebrations to one that is less offensive to local First Nations. After all Queen Victoria, our city’s namesake, represents all that was bad about the British Empire: its colonialism, its trade, economic growth, rule of law, common law, security, individual rights and freedoms, civilization, Magna Carta, infrastructure, semblance of order and, of course, the poor treatment that First Nations people had to endure under the Victorian British brand – as opposed to – the continual inter-tribe warrior raids and inter-band savagery, discrimination and slavery.  Taking Nanaimo’s logic to its proper conclusion, I would suggest that now is also the time that we change the name of Victoria to Camosun, a name which better reflects our First Nation history and heritage. After all those dastardly Brits oversaw Nanaimo and Victoria for a full 17 years from 1853-1871 and 28 years from 1843-1871 respectively. The Canadian government has been responsible for things well after that. How well you may ask?? Well for about 150 years, that’s how well!

And well (sic) we are at it I would also suggest and strongly recommend that we change the name of Canada Day to something less offensive. After all the Canadian government, and not Great Britain, has governed Victoria and the Province of B.C., since 20 July, 1871. In that vein the Canadian government and not Great Britain represents: broken aboriginal promises and treaties; the reserve paradigm; repression of Metis during the  Red River / Northwest Rebellion (1870, 1885); the execution of Louis Riel and imprisonment and subsequent death of Poundmaker, Big Bear and many of their of his brethren;  residential schools; the Indian Act; the segregation and discrimination of Chinese immigrants in accordance with the Chinese Immigration and Exclusion Act(s); the sequester and internment of all Japanese Canadians after 1941; internment of Ukranian and Italian Canadians; the refusal to allow refugees of Indian origin entry into Vancouver in 1914 (the Komagata Maru incident); the refusal to accept 900 Jewish refugees into Canada in 1939 (St Louis Incident), which probably ensured their imminent deaths under a Nazi regime; the Chinese Head Tax; the Duplessis Regime; the Orange Order’s anti Catholic movement and religious discrimination; refusal to recognize women as persons from 1867 – 1930; Africville and the segregation of blacks in eastern and central Canada until 1964; and, the Canadian government “black” list goes on and on.

 Oh we can be so smug, can’t we?

 How I hate hypocrisy!

By the way, at yesterday’s welcoming ceremony, the Governor General’s wife reminded me of a Leprechaun in that outfit she was wearing. The Prince’s Equerry seemed to be more of a hindrance than a help.

Will and Kat looked great. With George and Charlotte they make the perfect family. Hope they have a great time.

Note: I am not a rabid monarchist per se. Heck, I used to shoot spit balls from my pea shooter at the Queen’s picture when I was a kid in school. No, but I do respect our heritage and culture and the contributions made by the British over the years. And I do respect the Commonwealth of Nations: an August body of diverse countries and nations that share a common heritage of sorts. And to me that is a lot better than that farcical United Nations. It is something to embrace, not discard.

A Royal Affair

The Royals, William and Kate and their two children, George and Charlotte, have just arrived here in Victoria. I watched the opening ceremonies with interest. I must say that George really stole the show here. What a cute kid he is. And Charlotte could almost be his twin.

Now I do not consider myself to be an ardent monarchist but I do respect our heritage and historical ties and links to Great Britain, the Commonwealth, and our Queen. We fought two World Wars under the monarchy to defend our Judeo Christian values as well as to free the world from tyranny. I am also very proud to have served for Queen and Country in the Royal Canadian Navy. So:

Welcome to Victoria Will, Kate, George and Charlotte.

 

The Sky is Falling

I just re-read a prediction the Sierra Club of Canada made about 10 years ago about how Victoria would look under 75 feet of water and how the various areas around the CRD would be affected. I remember writing a letter to the editor at the time – a time when Global Warming hysteria really began – about this very prediction.  I think it is worth repeating here because much of it is still relevant:

********

Victorians are gurgling with excitement over rising sea levels! Alan Lowe (Mayor of Victoria) and the Sierra Club’s dire prediction of Victorian flooding of biblical proportions because of Global Warming got me to thinking:

  • If you thought the leaky condo issue was big news, standby for heavy rolling;
  • Our buildings have already been upgraded for earthquakes.  It’s now time to make them waterproof;
  • Just think, BC Ferries can now depart from downtown Victoria;
  • Kinda brings a whole new meaning to the Colwood crawl, don’t ya think;
  • Forget Light Rapid Transit. Make way for fast water taxis;
  • Getting rid of those “Fast Cat” ferries may have been a wee bit premature;
  • We won’t have to address our sewage treatment issues. Clover and Macaulay Point will be so far underwater that no one will notice. I hear Methane floats though!
  • We could establish a new tourist attraction: The Clover and Macaulay Point “Hot Springs”
  • The Premier and MLAs need not to fret. We can always move the BC legislature up into the dome – that is when they sit of course;
  • How about this for a new marketing strategy for Victoria’s tourist industry: “Venice of the North” 
  • Small businesses shouldn’t worry. A whole new growth industry could be established in gondolas, scuba gear and undersea gardens and shops;
  • Agricultural Land Reserve?? No problem. Just change the name to Aqua-Cultural Land Reserve. After all, Government can do whatever it wants;
  • Unfortunately though, a new building code will require that all existing downtown buildings over 75 ft in height will have to have jetties and bollards installed above the 75 ft level. Buildings under 75 ft????? Well, they’ll be waterproofed won’t they?

Another crazy prediction from the environmentalists that turned out to be all wet.