Author: admin

Wednesday is “Hump Day”

From a previous post:

Yeah but it’s only Tuesday Shakeyjay. No matter. The world is going to end in 11 years so who cares.

With 15000 camels deported to Qatar from Saudi Arabia, “Hump Day” brings a whole new meaning to that country.

Friend of mine is going on an all exclusive vacation to Mexico. “High end accommodation, high end food, high end drinks” he told me. Should be fantastico.

And of course…high end Kaopectate!

Because you know those gastro intestinal critters are not discerning in the least – high end or low end it means the same thing. Puking at the high end and shitting through the eye of a needle at the low end.

“Have fun.” I told him. Then I thought: “Three grand and the only site he’ll see is that found at the bottom of his commode, aka, a high end toilet.

Who on earth would ever vacation anywhere south of San Diego? Butt there is a reason you know why those Mexico and California / Texas borders are so crowded with irregular aliens from Mexico and Central America.  All they really want is Keopectate.

They just want to be regular people is all!

I gotta go!

A very popular tune that could be heard at the border.

SJ…Out

The Rest of the World

From an earlier post:

I see the Goracle has a new climate catastrophe documentary coming out called “The Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power” or something profound like that. This from a guy who had a net worth of about $1-2 M when he left office. He is now to become the first green Billionaire. That is a lot of hot aire.

If truth be told guys like the Goracle are becoming more and more like those “False Prophets” the Bible keeps warning us about. I’m not a religious person per se but I think the Bible has it right this time. False prophecies. After all, every one of the Goracle’s predictions have fallen flat…false, like my teeth. They look good on the surface but could fall out at any minute.

Remember, according to the UN and others, the earth is going to end in 2030 – unless we pony up trillions of dollars to the UN – right now. All of those tin pot dictators, which make up almost a 2 thirds of the UN membership are salivating right now. I think the Anti-Christ is in there somehow. The UN’s zip code has been changed to 666.

Sad day in Tillsonburg Ontario as Seimens closes plant that makes wind turbine blades. 300 lost jobs. Apparently not green enough. Well, they are silver in colour after all. Heard in passing. “Think I’m going to go really green and go back to mother earth and grow tobacco, or weed man.”

Bat population in Southern Ontario applauds announcement!

Young men prefer playing games to working…Duh?

California: Golden State is now a Basket Case. Environ-mental policies are destroying the place. Too bad. Goracle’s new documentary, starring Steven Hawkings, will probably premiere there in “Holly-woody in the Morning” or maybe on Venus, and I’ll bet dollars to gonads that he wins the Academy Award for best documentary at this year’s Oscars, the accompanying song wins for best song and he again wins the Nobel Peace prize. Any bets? Any takers here?

Further to my Beyoncé tidbit the other day. Holly-woody in the morning and the country’s Muzak business are all a flutter about Beyoncé’s announcement of the names that she and her hubby gave to their twins: “Rumi and Sir.” While the rest of the known world:

“DOESN’T GIVE TWO F..CKS”

Canada’s first ministers conference to discuss how they are going to standardize legal marijuana across the country. I don’t know about you but “BC Bud” is probably the standard already. Then again just reefer the issue to the Canadian Standards Association. If they can provide the standards for “Jerking Off” (I kid you not) then surely they can come up with a standard for getting high while doing this.

Premiers were all in a tizzy about this suggestion. Apparently not really high on their agenda though. Next up? The Opioid Crisis!

Again, I can’t make this stuff up………SJ out.

 

Peanuts

Hey. We Canadians are so smug. We are so much better than those dastardly Americans, or any other country in the world. Consider this:

The US invented Rock n Roll, the automobile, the airplane, the washing machine, the radio, the assembly line, refrigerator, garbage disposal, electric razor, instant camera, jukebox and television.

What did we invent?

Yes, peanut butter. That wonderful gooey concoction every Canadian youth grew up with.

And what did we do with this marvelous invention of ours? Well we banned it from every schoolyard, cafeteria in the country. If we really wanted to invent something we should have come up with an anti-dope to peanut allergies.

Oh yeah, we also invented the zipper. Now that was a great invention, especially to all of us males out there who no longer pissed ourselves when trying to undo those buttons when nature really called, as in RIGHT NOW!

Oh yes, we also invented canola:

See the source imageBeautiful isn’t it. As in Cheeze whiz:

See the source imageor Kraft Dinner

See the source imageKD for short, Canola is also just one molecule shy of being plastic. Canada’s upcoming single use plastic ban has me and many others like me stocking up like survivalists. My basement is going to be full of this stuff. Of course I will stock my garage with Canola Oil to service my car’s lubrication needs or to use it like axel grease when required.

Why are all of these things that are sooo very bad for us…yellow? Why? One of nature’s mysteries I digress.

Glowing in the dark: Oklahoma man allegedly driving stolen vehicle filled with uranium, a rattlesnake, and Kentucky Deluxe Whiskey. What a concoction. Apparently last we heard he was headed for Canada to get some of that radioactive Canola for dessert.

Talk about dumb and dumber: Ocasio-Cortez, that whacko US congresswoman announces a new bill in congress to make the US electoral college tuition-free.

I cannot make this stuff up…really.

Hundreds of blindfolded goats airdropped into Swiss mountain range. Their last words were heard to be Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Hey what’s going on anyway:

Have a great weekend………………..read ya Monday.

SJ…………….Out

Sufferage.

Not much happening today.  News seems to be slow in coming.

Writer’s block. Oh no.

I knew it. Bombardier’s woes in manufacturing rail cars in Tunder Bay By since 1912 is…………..ta da………Trump’s fault. Whew, for a minute there I thought it was climate change to blame.

Who on earth would bring their young children to see a polo match?

a man standing next to a car: Wait, Was the Royal Polo Outing a Genius PR Play? The Royals of course. Geesh. Man oh man, life is tough huh? And look at the size of that SUV. Didn’t Charles say we only had 96 months to live on the planet…..100 months ago…if we didn’t curtail climate change? And what about these guys Charles? Climate change my ass. It’s really horseshit isn’t it?

a person riding a horse in a field: Wait, Was the Royal Polo Outing a Genius PR Play?

Oh this is cute:

John McCallum wearing a suit and tie: McCallum, who was fired as the Canadian ambassador to Beijing for making politically charged comments in January.John McCallum, Canada’s former and fired ambassador to China is now spewing bull-crap to his Chinese buddies and their leader Z’eye Ping that if they want real progress with Canada then they should ensure that Trudeau wins the next election. Hey isn’t this sweet and sour pork barrelling? Foreign meddling. Stick to chicken balls John. They taste way better. And Chinese MSG will really make you go for the gusto.

The US has so called Russian collusion. Canada gets chopsticks and won ton soup. Geesh. It is Trump’s fault…no climate change buddy.

Z’eye Ping had no comment to McCallum’s remarks as he was on the golf course.

Yesterday’s video about the long grass in Dunedin Florida and a homeowners fight with city hall over a $30K grass cutting fine got me to thinking. Victoria city council could make a lot of money enforcing that bylaw on its Victoria residences. They could start by fining themselves for this fire hazard right in the heart of the city.

See the source image

It only takes a spark, or lightening, to cause this:

See the source image

Victoria does not want to cut its grass due to some unique flora and fauna that might be living among the weeds. I kid you not.

“Hey Flora,” a young hipster Victorian dude was heard to remark. “Lets go down to Victoria’s park and have some fauna among the weeds.” I know…..groan. Hey it’s Thursday.

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Fun among the weeds in Victoria’s Beacon Hill Park. Aaah, our future generation of leaders.

25 of the best dressed celebs. Here is one:

Slide 2 of 26: This Good Place star admits her style is more relaxed than the character she plays (Tahani), and says the most important part of her fashion journey has been learning to love her own body. “Being okay with yourself is the most amazing middle finger to everyone,” she tells Elle. “I wear a bit of makeup and short shorts and high platform boots sometimes… but it’s an eighth of who I am.” See photo on Instagram                                             And another.

Slide 7 of 26: All of the Jonas brothers have an innate sense of style, but it’s 29-year-old Joe that’s become a red-carpet staple thanks to his well-tailored suits and stunning partner (the aforementioned Sophie Turner). “Joe knows there's a difference between understated and boring; with edgy outerwear and a slouchy tee, he hits that minimalistic sweet spot that makes an outfit feel fresh,” notes GQ. See photo on Instagram

Toxic masculinity I would guess but I don’t know about her. Toxic femininity perhaps. Women’s Suffering…er…Sufferage perhaps. Or a guy’s worst nightmare date. Pass the weed man. I need to get stoned.

That girl must be cold. Especially with the air conditioning on.

 

 

Woman’s Sufferage….wait for it….Air Conditioning. I kid you not. This is the latest row among feminists about those dastardly, sexist HVAC dudes. You know. It has been 100 years since the start of women’s Sufferage and a time a century ago when women really had something important to say. Keep this up and it will be another 100 years, maybe more, before they have anything worthwhile to say again. Maybe longer.

Except my girlfriend of course. Sorry babe…just kidding. Honest.

Final beetle is leaving the factory today. Other beetles came out to cheer him or her on:

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Pssst, Shakeyjay. I think they meant these guys:

See the source image

Right. Memories. My first car was a 1959 Volkswagen “Punch Buggy.”

Massachusetts wants to change the state’s juvenile age to 21. Hey, age has nothing to do with being a juvenile. My dear late wife used to tell me that all the time.

Have a great day.

SJ…………….Out

Don’t Worry. Be Happy

A new article about Don Cherry and Coaches’ Corner and why he should retire is out there. I am not a fan of Don Cherry primarily because he cannot put two sentences together. He is often times incoherent and is stuck in the 1980’s Boston Bruins past. He is not a sign of the times except maybe bad times. He appears to me from his commentary on TV to have been a bully player. As a player and as a coach he sometimes brings out the worst in many of us. The kids used to love him but that love is now fading like everything else considered to be Maple syrup by the new generation of Canadians. He is way past his best before date. Like Bob Cole, the iconic Maple Leaf’s broadcaster Don’s “jersey” should have been retired a long, long time ago.

On the other hand he is a non apologetic Canadian. Something this country dearly lacks, especially with our political leadership. He is patriotic, loves our military and police forces and instills a sense of Canadian pride that he himself wears on his sleeve. But given his conservative values, views and Canadiana pride you will never, ever see Don Cherry elected into the Hockey Hall of Fame or be nominated to the Order of Canada. A proud Canadian maybe but he is not considered progressive enough for the snotty, smug elitist hierarchy that runs this country. Don Cherry is considered way, way too blue collar for their liking.

I am reading articles now that are putting the Liberals in the lead. How can this be?  What with all of the scandals and corruption out there? Or is this just more media liberal bias? Probably.

Vancouver Pride bans University of British Columbia from participating in the upcoming Pride celebrations. Why? They dared to allow someone on their campus to speak out about some of the LGBT community activities. Of course Pride prides itself for being all inclusive, apolitical as long as that all inclusiveness, apoliticalness notions are not critical of them.

We do not need Pride. They need us.

It is coming to this. LA coffee chain bans NBA star Kaw-hi from all of its locations after the star failed to sign with the LA Lakers…. Geesh, your coffee ain’t that good.

By the way, how do you pronounce that name anyway. Kaw….Hi….. as in…. Raw….Hide…… Don’t know, just saying, that’s all.

Quebec now joins Ontario, Alberta, New Brunswick, Saskatchewan and Manitoba in their fight against the Federal government’s carbon tax.

I wonder what Quebec wants from the Feds now.

A hat that embodies pure evil? What you may ask? A hat emblazoned with “Make America Great Again.” read Don Cherry above.

Pure evil……………………..

All beer drinkers out there will understand this.

And don’t worry, be happy. To all you guys out there. Have a beer.

Have a great day.

 

SJ…………………………….Out