Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Jumpin Jack Trudeau

This is rich:

Including the 100 illegal immigrants that have crossed our border in the last 6 months.

Great job Joe. Now, where’s my coffee. KAMALA? JILL?

Homeless Indians and activists have declared a Toronto park as Indian territory. People are not allowed to take pictures of the invisible sacred fire or smoke from the smokeless peace pipe.

They are welcome to take back all of Toronto in my view. Or all of Canada if they like to.

Other breaking news to note:

CNN’s employee handbook must be one migraine-inducing document. Because while CNN continued to allow Chris Cuomo to collect a paycheck despite being wrapped up in his corrupt brother’s sexual misconduct scandal, they decided to fire three people for not getting vaccinated Thursday. This also occurred after the network brought back legal analysts Jeffrey Toobin after he was caught masturbating during a Zoom meeting for The New Yorker.

And….from the Canadian Japanese Clomical Helald….Prime Minister Justin Tludeau is expected to call an erection today. “Excitment is on the lise,” they reported.

Coulda had Trump:

But they got Joe instead.

Oops…Alberta gas station mixed up diesel and gasoline for 3 days…not nice.

By the way…prior to voting just think…Canada and Justin Trudeau are a joke and a laughing stock on the international stage…Bring back Canada.

Only in Canada would a debate such as this come up:

Is Burning Churches Justified?

You have to ask a question like that. Then again our Prime Minister weighed in…It is understandable you know…are you kidding me. And this guy will in all probability get re-elected if an erection is held today in Canada.

And only in Canada:

Pro-lockdown protesters demand Alberta brings back public executions…erm public health restrictions

Or this:

Trudeau’s enviro office holds “Draganza” workshop (during work hours).

I kid you not. This is what Canada has stooped to under Peter Pan Trudeau.

I want my country back:

The world that I know.

SJ…Out

 

 

 

 

The W.H.O And Sugar

We want to tax sugar to fight obesity… SWEEEEEEET!

From the school of common sense: get them off their asses and into the playgrounds, sports programs, and throw their Xboxes, IPhones and Tablets into the trash. Bring back play, as the saying goes.

But it’s their right to do what they want. Right?

Kids have no responsibilities therefore they have no rights!

And what about rights. Do you think you have rights? What rights? Think again man or women or ne,ve,ze. This is just a smoke screen and another example of how our individual freedoms and rights are being undermined by government legislators – at all levels. Soon we will be told what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, what to say, what to think, what to watch, what to drive, what bloody light bulbs we have to use.

Legislators will ban herbicides, ban pesticides, ban perfume, ban cologne, ban lawnmowers, ban red meat, ban white meat for its privilege, ban “Monster Truck” shows, ban camping, ban boating, ban contact sports, ban BBQ’s, ban fun. If left unchecked there will be no idling of cars, hey, no driving of cars, no international air travel, no travel at all, no smoking, no swearing, no drinking, no critical thought if you please, no consequences for bad personal decisions or choices, no discipline as it’s always somebody else’s fault. The do good-ers and the activists are having a field day. By the way, have you ever met a happy activist or a happy environ-mental -ist? Nope? Neither have I.

It took me 70 years to become a Grumpy Old Man. These environmental whackos and Social Justice Warriors had that locked up the minute they entered University.

Orwell had it right all along. Only he was well ahead of our times. Oh the horror of it all. People – wake up!!!

Next they’ll want to tax the very air that we breathe. Oh wait, they’re doing that now with their so called Carbon Tax. After all when we inhale we have to exhale, and that my friends contains CO2 – so stop breathing to save the planet. In today’s world telling someone figuratively to “drop dead” has a whole new meaning…THEY MEAN IT!

They’ll want to tax volcanic eruptions and erections next.

And given the UN’s stellar record of collective security and peacekeeping – Rwanda, Sudan, Somalia – come to mind; their impressive decisions on Human Rights as reflected by the righteousness of the UN Human Rights Council; the inspirational insight that the UN demonstrated with their election of Zimbabwe as the lead nation on the United Nations’ Commission on Sustainable Development, their appointment of Iran to head the committee on the status of women and Libya to chair the Human Rights Council a few years back; and their dynamic organizational skills and efficacy in financial administration as witnessed by their Oil for Food program and the human disaster that is called Haiti, why oh why on earth would anyone with half a brain in their head believe in the conclusions drawn up by the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Huh? Huh?

Just saying, that’s all.

 

Have a great weekend:

SJ…Out

Canada’s Family Compact

Canada: The Liberal Family Compact

Of eight of the latest senate appointments, five donated substantial amounts to the Liberals, two were former Liberal candidates and one was a director of the Trudeau Foundation. There ya go. Independent, unbiased appointments to Canada’s upper chamber by Justin Trudeau.

The Liberal Party under Justin Trudeau gave the Canadian press $600M so as to curtail their demise in the digital age. Do ya think any of them will print a word critical to the Liberal Party??

CBC – Canadian Pravda for the Liberal Party of Canada. Why? $1.4B reasons why.

Canada has an elected dictatorship hidden under the guise of an parliamentary democracy and:

That is why I will never vote in this country again as I do not want to be party to a corrupt regime and electoral process.

Justinian’s Liberals are destroying this country by a thousand cuts and the Liberal hacks of Ontario, Quebec and the Maritime are blind to it. BTW, these provinces were the original 1867 Confederation signatories. The Canadian Con…federation. Perhaps it is time that we revert back to that original model and leave the rest of us to our own devices.

Just saying…

Family Compact? Where a small group of Canadians control all aspects of Canadian life. In this case Quebec, and French Canadians in Ottawa led by the Liberal Party of Canada and Justin Trudeau control everything.

Commons

Executive

Judiciary

Education;

Media;

Press; and

Culture

SJ…Out

Class Discipline

Father Fitzpatrick—history and English. His weapon of
choice was one of those two-sided blackboard erasers. One side
was covered in tightly packed bristles with red, white, and black
stripes, with the other side a thick, soft sponge. The eraser
measured about ten inches in length, just the right length, weight,
and balance, and in the right hands, oozed lethality in his
classroom.

I do not know how Father Fitzpatrick accomplished his
amazing feats with that eraser in his classroom. It must have
taken years of practice or perhaps he spent years in the
Australian outback mastering the ins and outs of throwing a
boomerang with deadly accuracy. Maybe it was jai alai. Whatever
it was, he was deadly accurate with that eraser and could
wipe the smile or smirk off of any one of our faces at any point
or distance in that classroom. Usually it came without warning.
Talking to one of your mates, appearing indolent, daydreaming,
falling asleep, or just plain idleness on the part of one of the
students was cause enough for Father Fitzpatrick to unleash this
kraken of classroom discipline. It would come at you unannounced,
its trajectory well thought out and executed with skill.
The impact was normally just above eye level at the forehead or
hairline. Never directly in the face, mind you. End over end that
eraser would fly, hitting the target sponge side up so as to not
cause any real damage such as a bleeding or a broken nose. How
he could accomplish that, I don’t really know. It was amazing for
when that eraser found its mark, a puff of chalk dust would
explode on impact. It was a sight to behold. The student’s
surprise was wickedly funny with white pancake-like dust all
over his face, up into his nostrils, into his mouth, over his eyes,
all over his hair, and down the front face of his blue blazer. We
didn’t dare laugh.

“Pay attention” was all that Father Fitzpatrick would proffer
to the class in general. To increase the shock value of this unique
form of class management, it could be many days, even weeks,
before Father Fitzpatrick would release his kraken again. We
never knew when it was coming or which poor bastard would be
at the receiving end. Amazing, these priests.

There were also the occasional slaps, ear pinching or pulling,
and other forms of corporal necessity at that school. Some of the
priests were uniquely creative while others reverted to the standard
tried and true but boring means of class discipline and
punishment. The lay associates never laid a hand on us. It must
have been some unwritten rule that only the purveyors of justice
and faith in this faith-based educational system, the priests and
nuns, really knew how to dish it out. Perhaps their direct line to
God gave them the right to impart religious justice and discipline
to the unwashed masses of Catholic boys and girls. In other
words “we will provide you with an education even if we have to
beat it into you.” Unfortunately it did the opposite and accomplished
nothing.

We generally had a good time with all of this. It could be
wickedly funny to watch. And like our experiences with Father
Stack, we did our very best to be discreetly rebellious and to find
the ways and means to undermine the priest’s authority and in
doing so to make some of them, such as Mr Aslin, look weak and
ridiculous.

SJ…Out