Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Pigeon Lovers Unite!

  1. If you start taking down statues, what are the poor pigeon’s going to do? I think that pigeon lovers everywhere should march and protest this blatant act of cruelty to animals.

PETA is all in a tizzy over this.

What would you rather have?

This

Do Pigeon Statues Drop Bacon at Nick Mendoza blog

Or this:

Image result for pictures of bird crap on carsThere are unintended consequences you know. So, Antifa, BLM, PRIDE and all you SJWs out there be very careful what you wish for. Be very, very careful.  This could be your car!

Jewish activists target New York’s Peter Stuyvesant Statues. Targeting a statue to a cigarette?  C’mon guys, let’s get real here!

More bodies found on glacier, Mont Blanc, France. One French official was heard to state that “this is a real cold case.”  Activists are upset as Mount Blanc is a symbol of white privilege, white suprematism. Never mind the poor bastards who died. No, they want the name changed to “Mount This Will Ya? France.

Social media split on Swift’s new song. First of all, who is Swift? Secondly, who gives a rats ass about her new song? Thirdly, the Musak industry is all in a tizzy over this as this song really, really sucks.

Latest Darwin runner-up award: Woman falls while taking a selfie with a drone. Now runner up’s for this award are those people who demonstrate awesome stupidity but for whatever reason fail to diminish the gene pool by taking themselves off of the ranks of the living…too bad.

The G7. Economic suicide. Canada went first.

What Are The Darwin Awards and Why You Don't Want To Win One

Another candidate(s) for a runner-up status of the Darwin Stupidity Award:

“Authorities shut down the scheduled performance by Los Angeles act Allah-Las at a 1,000-person capacity club called Maassilo. The band’s name has attracted some unwanted attention in the Muslim world. Band members say they selected the name Allah, Arabic for the Muslim deity, because they wanted something that sounded “holy.” Lead singer Miles Michaud said: “We get emails from Muslims, here in the U.S. and around the world, saying they’re offended, but that absolutely wasn’t our intention.”

Maybe you guys should have called yourselves the “Sermon on the Rock n Rollers.” Hmmm? Just sayin. “Just because we know how to rock doesn’t mean we are smart.” One of the band members was heard to say. Taylor Swift nodded in agreement.

Mysterious tablet discovered. New math secrets revealed as in:

1 + 1 = 3  Yikes!

I knew that all along. I could have been a math contender if this had come out when I was in school.

Oh yeah. Surprise comment of the week: All hurricanes are caused by Climate Change. As are solar-plexis, solar dome, heat sink, heat toilet, heat dome, cold snap, Chinook, Atmospheric Rivers, Johnny Rivers, Joan Rivers, and who’s on first.

We are all doomed.

 

Muh,muh, muh, my Sharia!

Seems like the Canadian New Democrat Party will have a new leader by the end of March. Another diversity is our strength, so they say. I say beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. The NDP promises to stand up for all Canadians. Yes, to drive us all back into the stone age. The NDP are against the extraction of oil and gas of any kind, even the kind that comes out of our Conservative and Liberal asses. He is surely to become Canada’s Moonbat leader. I am not racist but I am worried that the NDP will use the racist card to promote their views. Under Hazmat (sic) Singh, their previous leader, they played into the hands of a separate Quebec:  The NDP’s Singh said that his party would “immediately” work to support the province’s decision in the event of a majority ‘yes’ vote in a referendum.”….Just great and just what the Quebec separatists want (HuffPost).

We want a leader who will do everything to keep this country together, not tear it apart with identity politics….Geesh.

Canada craves for a strong leader.

Under our Canadian leadership a government agency will be going after people who claim that the sun is the primary component of our climate. Eeegads! call out the thought police…now! Middle aged thinking there for sure. Canadian judicial wants to bring back the “rack” to punish these scientific heretics.

Canadian government kills another nation building project in Energy East. Mayor of a major Quebec City laughed so hard when he heard this that he shit his pants – literally and figuratively – as he released millions of litres of raw sewage into the St Laurence River – all going downstream to the East Coast I may add to that.

UPDATED: Carney says he will not repeal Liberals' anti-pipeline Bill C-69

 

“I have a dream” PM Carney was heard to say. “That someday the world will rid itself of….. pipelines. You thought I was going to say Carbon didn’t you? Bahahahahahahahahahahaha…that’s a good one. Hey I talk the talk but would never walk the walk or walk the talk or talk the walk or use talk-um powder or whatever to wipe my ass. Hey, how do you like my carbon socks?” As he takes another sip of his carbonate of soda.

Read my lips: “No more pipelines. I am serious.”

“What about the MOU with Alberta?” A reporter asked

“What about it? Who cares!”

Toronto District School Board wants its students to recite Muslim greeting after the singing O Canada. Why not just sing:  “Muh, muh, muh my Sharia”

No wonder Canada’s primary currency is called the “Loonie.”

This just in from Canada’s Finance Department. Every one is in a titter over this one.  “We are going to conduct a gender-based analysis on finalized proposals, to ensure any changes to the tax system to promote gender equity. About 83 per cent of passive investment income is earned by Canadian-controlled private corporation owners making more than $250,000. About 70 per cent of these individuals are men. “The women were so tired of getting the shaft from the financial men” some financial guy was heard to say. This is titillating stuff.  The whole plan can be summarized in two words, say the “Elbows Up” Liberal crowd: “TITS UP.”

News Flash: Climate models wrong.

Lot - Model Airplanes,

 

Told ya it was the glue.

You read it here first at Shakeyjay

 

 

SJ………….Out

 

 

C’est It Ain’t So

Canadian Caliphate? Coming to a large Canadian city near you. Sharia Law in Canada by 2050.

Say no more, say no more, please just say no more:

How do you spell incompetence? The same way you spell foolhardy:

C…A…N…A…D…A

Prime Minister Mark Carney raised a few eyebrows after publicly praising communist Chinese President Xi Jinping’s “leadership” and openly referencing a “new world order” during remarks in Beijing on Thursday, as Canada’s government attempts to reset trade relations with the repressive regime.

WEF anyone?

“We are heartened by the leadership of President Xi Jinping, and the speed with which our relationship has progressed in recent months,” Carney said.

Just like Trudough who once touted that he admired the Chinese dictatorship as they can change direction on a dime, not on a loonie like the loonies in democratic Canada.

According to Canada’s PM, Canada is looking for a strategic partnership with China, a country who has strategic partnerships with Russia, Iran, Venezuela to name but a few. Does that mean that Canada now belongs to that club of authoritarianism too? Does that mean that Canada will support China’s plans to annex Taiwan? Agree with Iranian oppression? Hmm? Just asking.

Auto with China? Made in China EVs? Not a chance that I would buy one.

Now, can anyone make out what Carney is saying here? This is our PM. Expertise at word salad because that is what his answer is. Start at minute 1.00??? It makes no sense. He is showing his incompetence. And our valley girl sold us a bill of good with Stellantis, and EV battery plant subsidies. Will she sell out Canada to China??

I cannot believe this is the Canada that I was born into.

This is the sad state of affairs today:

  • a woman who aborted her child because she was ‘wrought with an intense fear for the future and the impact of the climate crisis;’
  • an airline pilot who suffered from so-called eco-anxiety. He was in mental turmoil because he thought every flight he made was destroying the planet and finally he quit;

Dilbert Creator Scott Adams Dies at 68 After Prostate Cancer Battle - Celebrity Storm

  • Scott Adams, Dilbert Creator, died a few weeks ago from Cancer. He was 68. Adams was ostracized and cancelled across the US and Canada because he was a Republican and a Trump supporter;
  • A restaurant owner in Maple Ridge BC was attacked online and given bad reviews because Pierre Poilievre, the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, had lunch there;
  • Canada’s indigenous community has been given veto power by our Federal government over all natural resource projects in Canada;
  • In BC, indigenous land title has precedence over all other claims of title. Federal and Provincial leaders let this court decision go unchallenged. Home owners in BC are fooked. Investment in BC will be non existent.
  • Canada’s economy is based on ideology and not reality;
  • Canada’s court of appeal held up an earlier decision that stated that the Liberal government violated Canada’s Charter in the way that they handled the Freedom Convoy. I hope the Freedom Convoy leadership and ordinary Canadians sue the Feds;
  • Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms isn’t worth the paper it is written on;
  • Carney’s MOU with Alberta isn’t worth the paper it is written on;

  • Canadian citizen killed at the hands of the Iranian authorities, Canada’s foreign affairs says;

  • Then again Iran has a strategic partnership with China, so perhaps one could surmise that Canada is culpable of this atrocity by proxy, due to our strategic partnership with China, which has a strategic partnership with Iran;

  • China has a strategic partnership with Russia. Same with Canada. So, by proxy Canada supports Russia, and its war on the Ukraine. Canadian foreign policy and diplomacy makes for strange geopolitical bedfellows;
  • MOUs are not worth the paper they are written on;

  • Canada’s Foreign office is foreign to me;

  • School children in Ontario have to do land acknowledgements before classes begin. It used to be the Lord’s prayer;
  • Canada is the wokest country on the planet;
  • Woke-ism will destroy our way of life in Canada;
  • In the beginning being politically correct was the way to go. That has now morphed into woke-ism.

Sad but true.

Look at that backup crew.

Check out my books through the links at the top of the page.

Another Electoral Way

Plan Your Trip With These 20 Maps of Canada

 

Canada is the second largest land mass on earth. It has 4.5 time zones. A country that size is almost impossible to govern under our current electoral laws. It is a country of regions and those regions differ in many ways. The Maritimes have a different feel than the west. Ontario is different than Quebec. The west is unique in its own special way.

In 1867, our nation was founded on four provinces: Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Manitoba joined in 1870, BC in 1871, PEI in 1873, Newfoundland in 1949. The regions are as follows: Atlantic Canada or the Maritimes: New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland; Central Canada: Ontario and Quebec; and the West: Manitoba, Saskatchewan; Alberta and British Columbia. There are two western territories: Yukon and The Northwest; and one Eastern Territory: Nunavut. For this discussion we lump Quebec and Nunavut with Eastern Canada; Ontario stands alone;  and Yukon and The Northwest Territory with the west.

Ottawa became the nation’s capital city. That made sense in 1858 because it was central to the United Canadian provinces of Ontario and Quebec and later, in 1867, for the confederation of Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. It does not make sense in today’s regional map of Canada.

Population in Canada at the last census (2021) = 37 million people.

Provinces and territories. Population at last census. Density. Land area. Legislatures.[1]
Name 2021 census Growth
(2016–2021)		 Land area
(km2)		 Density
per (km2)		 House[2] Senate
Pop. % Seats % Seats %
1 Ontario 14,223,942 38.45% 5.8% 908,699.33 15.2 122 35.6% 24 22.9%
2 Quebec 8,501,833 22.98% 4.1% 1,356,625.27 6.5 78 22.7% 24 22.9%
3 British Columbia 5,000,879 13.52% 7.6% 922,503.01 5.4 43 12.5% 6 5.7%
4 Alberta 4,262,635 11.52% 4.8% 640,330.46 6.7 37 10.8% 6 5.7%
5 Manitoba 1,342,153 3.63% 5.0% 552,370.99 2.3 14 4.1% 6 5.7%
6 Saskatchewan 1,132,505 3.06% 3.1% 588,243.54 2.0 14 4.1% 6 5.7%
7 Nova Scotia 969,383 2.62% 5.0% 52,942.27 18.4 11 3.2% 10 9.5%
8 New Brunswick 775,610 2.09% 3.8% 71,388.81 10.9 10 2.9% 10 9.5%
9 Newfoundland and Labrador 510,550 1.38% −1.8% 370,514.08 1.4 7 2.0% 6 5.7%
10 Prince Edward Island 154,331 0.42% 8.0% 5,686.03 27.2 4 1.2% 4 3.8%
11 Northwest Territories 41,070 0.11% −1.7% 1,143,793.86 0.04 1 0.3% 1 0.95%
12 Yukon 40,232 0.11% 12.1% 474,712.68 0.08 1 0.3% 1 0.95%
13 Nunavut 36,858 0.10% 2.5% 1,877,778.53 0.02 1 0.3% 1 0.95%
Total Canada 36,991,981 100% 5.2% 8,965,588.85 4.2 343 100% 105 100%

Divide Canada into 3 regions: West, Central and East

The vote and seat count would be based on population. Total seats in today’s Parliament equals 343.

West – Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia: 11,822, 474 (+ NWT and Yukon). Rounding up 12 / 37 x 343 = 111 seats

Central – Ontario: 14,223,191 equates to 14 / 37 x 343  = 133 seats

Eastern – Quebec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, PEI and NFLD: 10,948,565 (+ Nunavut) equates to 102 seats. Rounding up 11 / 37 x 343 = 101 seats.

Yukon and NWT would go to the west while Nunavut would go to the East.

Split seats across the regions: 343 / 3 =  114 seats

In each region parties would receive a percentage of the Federal parliamentary seats based upon the number of seats won in the region, but based upon the percentage won of the popular vote. For example if the greens won 8 % of the popular vote in the Western region they would earn 8% of the western regional seats in Parliament. If the PCP won 50% of the popular vote in the Central region they would receive 50% of the Central seats federally. If the Bloc won 22% of the popular vote in the Eastern region then they would receive 22% of the Eastern regional seats at the Federal level.

Simple and fair. No more first past the post dictatorships in this country. The interests of each region of Canada would be well represented in Canada’s Parliament. No longer could Central Canada ignore the west or vice versa. No longer could the Prime Minister’s governing party punish a region or a district because of differing electoral outcomes. Coalitions would probably have to be established for governance. That is a good thing and entirely democratic. MPs would be forced to work together for the common good of the entire country – while also addressing and upholding the varied interests of their respective regions. Compromise would be the established order of the day

Provincial autonomy could still be maintained however it would make better sense, with clarity and fairness at the core, if each region set up its own governance system regionally rather than Province wide as it exists today. Regional seats could be allocated based upon the number of seats assigned at the Federal level. Inter provincial trade barriers and other irritants that bar prosperity at the regional level would disappear immediately.

For what its worth

Just saying.

I yearn for a Canada pre Pearson and especially pre Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Trudeau One commenced the destruction of Canada, Justin Trudeau, Trudeau Two, and the Carney Liberals have / will complete the destruction.

My flag:

Canadian Red Ensign - David Clendenning Photography

 

My National Anthem

New Book: Prologue Part 5

Battle of Vimy Ridge was a pivotal moment for Canada 108 years ago - Castanet.net

 

“Charlotte, look, there is even a torch bearer there. To you from falling hands we throw the torch be yours to hold it high.” I can still recite that poem Charlotte.

She smiled back at me and said in a faint voice:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

“I am proud of you sweetie. And I love you.”

“I love you too dad.”

“There must be thousands of people here Charlotte. Thousands.”

Not just Canadians. I could see Brits, French, both military and civilians. Dignitaries, big wigs, politicians, bands, and pipers. All forming up. A guard of honour from the Royal Canadian Navy was dressed and formed up in one spot. Dignitaries and very important people over here. Veterans with family members everywhere: perched over the base of the monument itself like ants on a hill. They also covered the entire broad slope of grass to the east – toward the Douai plain.

There is no formality for us, thank God. Just a casual but poignant dedication and remembrance. A Dais has been raised so I am sure that a ceremony and formal presentation have been planned.

“And look Charlotte, over there. That must be the centerpiece of the dedication ceremony.” To our left was a tall statue, covered in our national flag. There is no doubt that this statue is important to the site, as it is front and center overlooking the sloping lawn on the east side.

“Charlotte nodded. “You are right father. And look down there at the base. A stone tomb.”

Charlotte began to cry. She, like me, has been overcome with emotion.

“To an unknown soldier, left behind, representing all those who never came home and have no known graves. Only unto God they be known.”

A guard motioned us toward the steps on the south side of the monument. We decided to stay where we were, on the base of the monument facing the steps at the back facing west. I am sure that the King and other VIPs will enter from this direction. There were also thousands of veterans with their families as well as other Canadians who decided to make their way over here from Canada. Our view was strategic as we could see the entrance to the site, the base of the pylons, the covered centerpiece, and the thousands of spectators that walked down onto the lawn that sloped down and away from the monument. Here in the front and on the sides thousands of others were formed. In true Canadian fashion it was to be a very casual occasion, except for an honour guard from the Royal Canadian Navy. Great I thought. Appropriate for us that this dedication is going to be a Canadian event.

We fell in with the crowd and could see the guard of honour and the flagbearers. Standing at ease and facing north along the main road to the monument. It was an impressive remarkable sight. The significance of this day was not lost on Charlotte nor I, as well as the thousands of attendees gathered here today. Front and center they are, looking back at the glaringly impressive white limestone structure that faced the broad Douai plain. I could not have been prouder. This unbelievably beautiful structure symbolizes the Canadian accomplishment to have taken this ridge, when no other combatant, British or French, could.

But at what cost in human lives.

The Battle of Vimy Ridge: Canada’s Defining Moment in World War One - Stephen J Bedard

 

My books are available through Amazon.ca or Amazon.com. They would make great gifts, while supporting a Canadian author. Great reviews too.
www.johnmorrisonauthor.com