Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Pigeon Lovers Unite!

  1. If you start taking down statues, what are the poor pigeon’s going to do? I think that pigeon lovers everywhere should march and protest this blatant act of cruelty to animals.

PETA is all in a tizzy over this.

What would you rather have?

This

Do Pigeon Statues Drop Bacon at Nick Mendoza blog

Or this:

Image result for pictures of bird crap on carsThere are unintended consequences you know. So, Antifa, BLM, PRIDE and all you SJWs out there be very careful what you wish for. Be very, very careful.  This could be your car!

Jewish activists target New York’s Peter Stuyvesant Statues. Targeting a statue to a cigarette?  C’mon guys, let’s get real here!

More bodies found on glacier, Mont Blanc, France. One French official was heard to state that “this is a real cold case.”  Activists are upset as Mount Blanc is a symbol of white privilege, white suprematism. Never mind the poor bastards who died. No, they want the name changed to “Mount This Will Ya? France.

Social media split on Swift’s new song. First of all, who is Swift? Secondly, who gives a rats ass about her new song? Thirdly, the Musak industry is all in a tizzy over this as this song really, really sucks.

Latest Darwin runner-up award: Woman falls while taking a selfie with a drone. Now runner up’s for this award are those people who demonstrate awesome stupidity but for whatever reason fail to diminish the gene pool by taking themselves off of the ranks of the living…too bad.

The G7. Economic suicide. Canada went first.

What Are The Darwin Awards and Why You Don't Want To Win One

Another candidate(s) for a runner-up status of the Darwin Stupidity Award:

“Authorities shut down the scheduled performance by Los Angeles act Allah-Las at a 1,000-person capacity club called Maassilo. The band’s name has attracted some unwanted attention in the Muslim world. Band members say they selected the name Allah, Arabic for the Muslim deity, because they wanted something that sounded “holy.” Lead singer Miles Michaud said: “We get emails from Muslims, here in the U.S. and around the world, saying they’re offended, but that absolutely wasn’t our intention.”

Maybe you guys should have called yourselves the “Sermon on the Rock n Rollers.” Hmmm? Just sayin. “Just because we know how to rock doesn’t mean we are smart.” One of the band members was heard to say. Taylor Swift nodded in agreement.

Mysterious tablet discovered. New math secrets revealed as in:

1 + 1 = 3  Yikes!

I knew that all along. I could have been a math contender if this had come out when I was in school.

Oh yeah. Surprise comment of the week: All hurricanes are caused by Climate Change. As are solar-plexis, solar dome, heat sink, heat toilet, heat dome, cold snap, Chinook, Atmospheric Rivers, Johnny Rivers, Joan Rivers, and who’s on first.

We are all doomed.

 

Climate Change!

BTW, who made those Canadian Olympic uniforms for the Opening Ceremonies? Ugly. Only the German’s came close to that. They looked like front end beaver tails. And when was brown our national colour. Oh wait, shyte is brown isn’t it, and there is a lot of it in our House of Clowns?

 

 

 

Cartoon Of Beggars Illustrations, Royalty-Free Vector Graphics & Clip ...

Hey man. Got any climate change?

Because its 2026!

Don’t know but I do know that:

  1. Climate change is a  feminist movement. Why, because it’s always changing man…..;
  2. Carbon is a transgendered element of the Periodic Table. It is stuck between that borion “B” and that nitrogen-der;
  3. Cow farts and flatulence contributes to Global Warming and is therefore a masculine threat. Why? Because women never, ever fart. And if they do their farts never stink. It must be stamped out immediately. See #1 above;
  4. The other day an activist told me that Archimedes worked for big oil. This was in response to a discussion I had with him that he needn’t worry about major flooding and sea level rising if the Arctic Ice Cap melts
  5. Eureka! The Arctic Ice Cap is not melting. It’s expanding. It must be a feminist movement as well. “Am I getting bigger. Do I look fat to you honey?. By the way, you don’t smell so well yerself;
  6. Global Warming causes hot summer weather;
  7. Global Warming causes cold, frigid winter weather, i.e., frigidity;
  8. Frigidity is a feminist movement and must be stamped out at all costs;
  9. Global cooling is therefore, a feminist threat, and must be met with #3 above;
  10. Under peer review, as temperatures rise the warming effects of global warming will offset the cooling effects of global cooling as a result of the global warming. Got that? Yeah? cool! Chill man, er woman, er ne, ve or ze, er wo…oops…man;
  11. Pesticides found in Marijuana! Ban marijuana now before it kills us;
  12. Pot for kids! Ban pot now because you can’t call that kettle back;
  13. Under the new marijuana legislation, every pot has a lid man, er women, er ne,ve or ze!;
  14. Heaven help us if the kids are our future…see #12 above;
  15. Hooray for natural gas…see #3 above.
  16. Liquid natural gas? Well a good dose of Keopectate will take care of that;
  17. Greenpeace and US activists protest First Nation sponsored aqua-culture…What?;
  18. Ne, Ve or Ze. Clockwork Oranges.
  19. Smoking kills but smoking pot is alright man. It’s out of sight, out of mind, and out of body; and
  20. Thank God that I will be dead soon…see #s 19,14 and 12 above.

Madness!

 

“Old Admirals” by Al Stewart. A timeless metaphor of what happens to all of us as we age. To our younger generations, we become irrelevant.

My books are available through Amazon.ca or Amazon.com. They would make great gifts, while supporting a Canadian author. Great reviews too.
www.johnmorrisonauthor.com        

Moonbats….Flatulance…and…

Sub Prime Car Loans: next major financial crisis thingy. Read the small print people! 25% annual interest rate – are you kidding me? – little down and end up paying double for what the car is worth. Double down folks, not up for heaven’s sake.

Guy is pilloried for criticizing Islam and banned from speaking at Berkley. He is an equal opportunity speaker in that his diatribes on religious zealots include all religions, particularly Christianity.

“Being all inclusive that we are we’ll let you slam Christianity but not Islam” one of the organizers was heard to say…..Geesh

Trudeau is changing the Canadian Citizen guide to make it more Sharia compliant. This on the heels of the refugee who beat his wife with a hockey stick…eh? Pure Canadian eh? “Well, at least it was a hockey stick” said one immigration official by the name of “Rocket,” who cited anonymity. Added to that “We will change the guide immediately to tell new Canadians from Muslim or other countries who honour honour killings that the preferred weapon of choice here in Canada would be a “Victoriaville” due to its shaped blade and shaft flexibility. It bends back after that slap shot.”

Government gouging vacationers with onerous taxes every step  of the way. Solution? Stay at home where you can smoke that cigar, have that beer, chase your woman, eat what you want, sleep for free, sleep in, no road hassles, walk around naked, fart, belch, scratch your ass, wobble your nuts, watch sports…do whatever. Of course, having the wife around may put a damper to that vacation fantasy.

Teslas and Other EVs equate to major government subsidies, which equate to increased taxation which equates to….SCREW YOU! See home vacation above.

When the carbon tax boondoggle runs its course and the government can squeeze no more taxes from your wallet, I believe that they will have to come up with another tax stream. You know humans are comprised of about 11 necessary elements for human life. Carbon accounts for 18.5 % of that. And, every time we exhale, we put more Co2 into the air. Now, unlike the current batch of climate doomsayers, I am not a believer that CO2 is a poison. I took Chemistry and Climatology (not my major) at University and know just how essential carbon is for our personal existence and CO2 for all life on earth, including the greening of our planet. So, mark my words the next huge tax grab will be a tax on our very existence. You want to live….PAY UP! Government extortion. But when they do it, it is not a crime.

Not Holding my Breath… | Backyard Missionary

How long can you hold your breath?

Word has it in California that the Moonbats there are passing regulations that will impede a persons ability to exhale. I’m told that people will have to hold their breaths for a minute at a time to reduce CO2 levels.. Of course nobody thought about the unintended consequences here. Holding one’s breath causes a human’s internal gasses to find the path of least resistance – in this case – right down though the oesophagus, the stomach, large and small intestine, colon and rectal areas. In other words flatulent assholes! “Gall darnit” some Californian flatulent asshole was heard to say, as he plugged his nose “We’ll have clean air even if it kills us.”………Geesh!

The New Republic states that climate change is killing us now. They cite heat waves (nothing new here) are increasing as temperatures climb (says who?). It has always been hot in the middle east. Cities such as Chicago, New York are heat sinks due to their high densities. 1934 was the hottest year on record (Look it up). The 8 – 10 year dust bowl drought occurred in the 1930s. It is all fear mongering by the UN, an organization that wants $1 Trillion dollars a year from western nations to fight this scourge. All of the UN dictators, well over half its members, nod in agreement as their mouths salivate with their new found wealth – potentially.

“It’ll be a foot in cold water before I will give anymore money to the UN.” So says Satan.

“Erm Lucy ole buddy that’s “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I give any more money.”

“Yeah write, you are.”

Solution? Stop having children India, Pakistan, China and other Muslim countries. Canada and the US – Get the hell out of the UN – now!

A little unknown song by a Canadian band that came out in 1972. A great year for music:

John

Check out my books. They make excellent Christmas gifts while helping out a starving Canadian author. Just click on the link and the second link. Thanks

www.johnmorrisonauthor.com

The End!

Can’t wait! Only 98 days until the Maldives disappear under water. Remember this: The UN predicted back in 1988 that if we do not do anything right NOW, as in contribute $100 Trillion to third world “tin pot” dictatorships, that the Maldives would be under water in 30 years. That’s right, by January 1st 2018. Funny that we do not hear too much about this anymore.

Image result for Pics of maldives

The Maldives today. But hey, with the UN in charge of things, one just never knows. All of the “tin pot” dictators nodded in agreement.

 

Image result for pics or end of days

Sure looks like the coast of Oregon to me.

Meade and the end of the world update. All religions do not endorse this guy, except of course Holly’s Woody in the Morning elite.

25: There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars….Sounds like a hit song to me….On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea… At having to listen to another Bieber song!… People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken…’ Another Hulk movie by Buffalo (sic)

“’26: Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken…’ but not stirred!

Tuesday’s date, Nov 3 2020 was pinpointed using codes from the Bible, as well as a “date marker” in the pyramids of Giza in Egypt. Added to that was their magic marker and a direct relationship with the Mayan pyramids, Caligula’s obelisk at the Vatican, not to mention Washington’s monument in DC.  We’re doomed!

This just in from the Pope: “Meade’s views are not endorsed by Roman Catholic, Protestant or eastern Orthodox church. No we’re all behind Climate Change as the cause to our end of days predictions. So there! I mean you can only have so many doomsday prophecies.” BTW didn’t Saint Malakai predict only one more Pope and then we’re all doomed?
Image result for Pics of bill nye
Hey, even this guy got into the act!
“The End is Nigh,” says Bill Nye the Science Guy!

 

From the “This is Weird” file: Some dude, and I use that word loosely, has spent over $600K having plastic surgery jobs to look like Ken from “Ken and Barbie.” But, when he gets older, – I wouldn’t bet on that too much dude –  when he reaches his late 50s he wants to undergo a sex change so as to look like Barbie. “I would rather look like a sexy old lady than a saggy old man.” Alves admitted to the Daily Mail.

Boy oh boy Alves, you are in for one big surprise concerning old age gender sagginess. Boobs just don’t cut it after 40.

On another note, Pixee Fox had her ribs removed so as to look like a cartoon character…geesh. Now how about going with only 4 fingers and toes dudess! Author’s note: Her pic is so gross I won’t show it. Google her if you want to but I don’t recommend it.

Other stuff on a Friday:

Rick Mercer Report going off the air. Finally. Now I don’t have a problem with Rick Mercer per se but his “Talking to Americans” segment turned me right off his “not funny” show. It really demonstrated to me just how smug and holier than thou the elite, or left wing Canadians think they are. “I hate smugness.” There Rick, that’s my rant. Good luck to you.

Lady Gaga is going to use her real name. Oh, like Rhianna Banana. Can’t wait until it is revealed. Counting the days, hours and minutes. Changing her stage name for marriage perhaps to……”Poker Face.”

Nice thing about athletes protesting the NFL supporting BLM and refusing to honour or respect their national anthem. My response: Great. I don’t have to respect them. I can turn the channel, which I have. I also no longer watch any award shows nor do I purchase any sport memorabilia…so there!…..Geesh.

 

 

 

“BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHECIES AND FALSE PROPHETS”

Read ya again Monday. I take weekends off from this blog.

SJ……………Out

The Rest of the World

From an earlier post:

I see the Goracle has a new climate catastrophe documentary coming out called “The Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power” or something profound like that. This from a guy who had a net worth of about $1-2 M when he left office. He is now to become the first green Billionaire. That is a lot of hot aire.

If truth be told guys like the Goracle are becoming more and more like those “False Prophets” the Bible keeps warning us about. I’m not a religious person per se but I think the Bible has it right this time. False prophecies. After all, every one of the Goracle’s predictions have fallen flat…false, like my teeth. They look good on the surface but could fall out at any minute.

Remember, according to the UN and others, the earth is going to end in 2030 – unless we pony up trillions of dollars to the UN – right now. All of those tin pot dictators, which make up almost a 2 thirds of the UN membership are salivating right now. I think the Anti-Christ is in there somehow. The UN’s zip code has been changed to 666.

Sad day in Tillsonburg Ontario as Seimens closes plant that makes wind turbine blades. 300 lost jobs. Apparently not green enough. Well, they are silver in colour after all. Heard in passing. “Think I’m going to go really green and go back to mother earth and grow tobacco, or weed man.”

Bat population in Southern Ontario applauds announcement!

Young men prefer playing games to working…Duh?

California: Golden State is now a Basket Case. Environ-mental policies are destroying the place. Too bad. Goracle’s new documentary, starring Steven Hawkings, will probably premiere there in “Holly-woody in the Morning” or maybe on Venus, and I’ll bet dollars to gonads that he wins the Academy Award for best documentary at this year’s Oscars, the accompanying song wins for best song and he again wins the Nobel Peace prize. Any bets? Any takers here?

Further to my Beyoncé tidbit the other day. Holly-woody in the morning and the country’s Muzak business are all a flutter about Beyoncé’s announcement of the names that she and her hubby gave to their twins: “Rumi and Sir.” While the rest of the known world:

“DOESN’T GIVE TWO F..CKS”

Canada’s first ministers conference to discuss how they are going to standardize legal marijuana across the country. I don’t know about you but “BC Bud” is probably the standard already. Then again just reefer the issue to the Canadian Standards Association. If they can provide the standards for “Jerking Off” (I kid you not) then surely they can come up with a standard for getting high while doing this.

Premiers were all in a tizzy about this suggestion. Apparently not really high on their agenda though. Next up? The Opioid Crisis!

Again, I can’t make this stuff up………SJ out.