Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

The Rest of the World

From an earlier post:

I see the Goracle has a new climate catastrophe documentary coming out called “The Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power” or something profound like that. This from a guy who had a net worth of about $1-2 M when he left office. He is now to become the first green Billionaire. That is a lot of hot aire.

If truth be told guys like the Goracle are becoming more and more like those “False Prophets” the Bible keeps warning us about. I’m not a religious person per se but I think the Bible has it right this time. False prophecies. After all, every one of the Goracle’s predictions have fallen flat…false, like my teeth. They look good on the surface but could fall out at any minute.

Remember, according to the UN and others, the earth is going to end in 2030 – unless we pony up trillions of dollars to the UN – right now. All of those tin pot dictators, which make up almost a 2 thirds of the UN membership are salivating right now. I think the Anti-Christ is in there somehow. The UN’s zip code has been changed to 666.

Sad day in Tillsonburg Ontario as Seimens closes plant that makes wind turbine blades. 300 lost jobs. Apparently not green enough. Well, they are silver in colour after all. Heard in passing. “Think I’m going to go really green and go back to mother earth and grow tobacco, or weed man.”

Bat population in Southern Ontario applauds announcement!

Young men prefer playing games to working…Duh?

California: Golden State is now a Basket Case. Environ-mental policies are destroying the place. Too bad. Goracle’s new documentary, starring Steven Hawkings, will probably premiere there in “Holly-woody in the Morning” or maybe on Venus, and I’ll bet dollars to gonads that he wins the Academy Award for best documentary at this year’s Oscars, the accompanying song wins for best song and he again wins the Nobel Peace prize. Any bets? Any takers here?

Further to my Beyoncé tidbit the other day. Holly-woody in the morning and the country’s Muzak business are all a flutter about Beyoncé’s announcement of the names that she and her hubby gave to their twins: “Rumi and Sir.” While the rest of the known world:

“DOESN’T GIVE TWO F..CKS”

Canada’s first ministers conference to discuss how they are going to standardize legal marijuana across the country. I don’t know about you but “BC Bud” is probably the standard already. Then again just reefer the issue to the Canadian Standards Association. If they can provide the standards for “Jerking Off” (I kid you not) then surely they can come up with a standard for getting high while doing this.

Premiers were all in a tizzy about this suggestion. Apparently not really high on their agenda though. Next up? The Opioid Crisis!

Again, I can’t make this stuff up………SJ out.

 

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World Out There

Sorry, late today – host server was down.

The world is going crazy, especially here in Canada. I thought I would just throw a few out there:

Canada declares a Climate Emergency then approves, the very next day, for the expansion of a major oil pipeline????!!!!????

In response a call to arms announced to every single young protester and anarchist out there to descend on Canada’s Burnaby Mountain immediately.

Consider this from that ANTIFA, BLM crowd of nice people:

  • White pumpkin lattes considered white privilege;
  • On a related note a Belgium farmer grows the world’s largest gourd – er a pumpkin, and it’s white. Man, that’s a whole lot of lattes;
  • Hurricane (insert name here) is a result of climate change. Anyone remember Galveston hurricane of 1900? The US’ deadliest and costliest hurricane on record. Yes Virginia, far worse than Katrina;
  • According to Gore and Obama, sea level has risen 1 foot off the southeast coast of the US. Funny that, but it hasn’t risen here! Yeah, but this is the NW coast. Oh I forgot;
  • This just in from the “World is Flat – Alexandra Occasionally Cortez But Generally Whacko” crowd:

Science is dead at a Capetown University. Science does not support black magic and witch’s brew, witch is a fact of life’s reality here in South Africa in that one witch can throw a lightening strike at another witch.  Witch one you may ask? Don’t know but since science cannot support this reality or explain this phenomenon, science must be wrong or irrelevant.

“Many people laughed at this remark because, well, witchcraft is not something that happens. But according to the students, witchcraft is like Isaac Newton’s theory of gravity—it’s just one way of explaining the world, among many. Decolonising the science would mean doing away with it entirely and starting all over again to deal with how we respond to the environment and how we understand it,” the student continued (ref: Hit and Miss Blog).

Give your heads a shake! Students were told to have another white pumpkin latte, go back to their caves and hide and pray because a solar eclipse is incoming;

  • Science is all about white privilege;
  • Archimedes works for Big Oil;
  • A girl scout is suing the Girl Guides for $30M. Girl Guide cookie factories ramping up to 24/7 operations in response;
  • Canadian Gov’t increasing annual deficit to $40B this year. Our gov’t doesn’t seem to worry about debt so why should I;
  • While the world is going to hell in a hand basket, Canadian politicians and Human Rights officials want to ban the use of indigenous names – like the Cleveland Indians, Chicago Black Hawks etc. Some politicians even find the Edmonton Eskimo’s football team’s name offensive. To Who?? They don’t tell us that! But mark my words, Eskimo Pies will be next! Ban refrigerants! Argon! Heck, lets do away with the entire Periodic Table as it was built by Big Oil;
  • CFCs were banned in the 80s. Now HFCs in the 2016s. KFC is next! After that “Water Vapour” as it is a major factor in the world’s climate, perhaps argon as well;
  • Moon craters forming faster than we thought. Caused by Solar Warming. In response, Prime Minister Trudeau directed the Federal Government to come up with a plan to deal with “space weather” to mitigate the increase in moon crater formation. UN calls for first MOP conference to deal with this important development – Moonbats of Parties – to be held in Las Vegas later this year.

I wish I could, but I can’t make this stuff up.

Argons, er Argooos playing this week. I know, they suck, but I am an ardent fan.

We’re having a major storm here late this afternoon. The press has scared the beejeezus out of everyone. We’re all going to die. Yes we are!  See, see this is ground zero of climate change.

No Virginia, It’s the late June storm season.

To think this came out in 1965.

Hey, Punch Buggy – no return.

Relevant today, don’t ya think.. Yeah, but we’re not on the eve of destruction – and it is a wonderful world – if you just let it be.

Have a great day.

SJ………………………………….Out…..Dot, Dot, Dot.

This Takes the Cake

The move to take down the statue of BC pioneer and Judge Matthew Begbie got me to thinking about an earlier post I made. Here it is again.

Robert Lee, an Asian sports commentator was pulled by ESPN from calling a University of Virginia football telecast because his name could potentially trigger violence. Say what? How can you confuse this guy:

Robert Lee opts out of broadcasting University of Virginia football game over threat of Twitter backlash.

 

With this guy? Huh?

Image result for robert e lee

 

 

 

Confederate General Robert E Lee

 

Oh, it must have been the headphones or the grey suit that confused people.

On another note the University of Virginia has decided to be proactive and has banned Sara Lee cakes from all of its cafeterias.


Image result for Sara lee cake

On another, another note they have also changed their dress code in that Levi’s will no longer be considered acceptable dress while on campus. That’s okay, one overweight student remarked. “I am so sick of being fat shamed to death, especially when trying to get into a pair of them. It’s those Sara Lee cakes that are doing it to me so this latest ban is a win, win situation for me!”….Yikes!

“Leave It to Beaver” reruns have also been banned from all school residences.

This just in. Mayor of Windsor upset with Trump Tweets. Well, step in line Mayor. Trump responded: “Who is a Windsor anyhow? Isn’t that a tie knot?”

From the “X” Files comes this:

Canada being Canada: after awarding a known and convicted terrorist $10.5M dollars for hurt feelings this latest announcement will surely get your Canadian cockles up:

Seems now that Canadians have the opportunity to indicate “X” as a gender on their passports. I would have thought a “G” spot would have been more appropriate.

Yeah, this is surely going to help those who comprise less than 1% of the population of getting into Saudi Arabia or many of the other tin-pot dictatorships around the world. “But I’m Canadian” one tourist was heard to say at Saudi customs. “You can’t expel me!”

“Where or who is a Canada?” The Saudi official responded. The smug Canadian tourist was indignant.

Meanwhile thousands of illegals flooding into Canada. Services swamped.

Canadian government is at a loss as to what to do.

I think is has more to do with these confusing signs, someone was heard to say. What on earth is a “Douane” anyway?

“Smoking weed may change how you walk????”  Really? I don’t even have to respond to that one. It stands on its own two feet and merit!

“I don’t think there’ll be a bad line on the leafs,” Connor Brown said. No Connor, you can’t point out a single defining statement for a line because the whole team sucks.

Argo’s suck. And who throws a challenge flag out with 70 seconds to play, and being ahead by three possessions? Calgary of course. C’mon Dickenson, you’re not that good.

Hurricane Harvey was caused by Climate Change and failing that it’s Trump’s fault, and failing that its cultural misappropriation. What? Yes, why on earth would a country like the USA embrace a tropical storm that originated in the Sahara and morphed off the coast of Africa. That storm triggers white supremacy and slavery! The practice must stop…now.

Heard in passing by a Millennial after the total eclipse of the sun:

“Hey man, if we can stop climate change then preventing a solar eclipse from ever happening again should be a walk in the dark…man.”

“Yeah dude. Pass the joint will ya?”

The world is going mad. Political correctness will be the end of us.

The Eagle’s “Take it Easy.” has been banned in many southern states as it conjures up bad memories of Keopectate.

Have a great Navy weekend.

Read ya Monday

SJ……….……….. Out.

 

 

 

Music to My Ears

Words from “Where do the Children Play” From “Tea for the Tillerman,” Cat Stevens, 1970. A time when music meant something.

Will you make us laugh
Will you make us cry
Will you tell us when to live
Will you tell us when to die

Sound familiar? I think we’re just about there, don’t you?

There’s more to music than Taylor Swift or Gaga’s Poker Face you know. Check out Cat Steven’s “Father and Son.” Makes a grown man cry.

Other nonsense:

This just in from Ontario, Canada. Seems that the Premier’s new Math strategy is failing students miserably. Falling behind their own Provincial Standards. “Yeah, well these Grade 6 students know a great deal about oral sex you know.” said one parent. The Province’s sex ed program,which starts in Kindergarten, has been a great success.

On another note: Province’s teen pregnancy rates going through the glass ceilings.

On another, another note. “Yeah, well just lower the Standards Bar. That’ll solve the problem, “toute suite.”  Just like we did for our Province’s French spelling standard.

Oh yeah but: New ancient Math tablet discovered. Will change everything we thought we knew about the new Math.

See the source image

1 + 1 = 3…Yikes

On another, another, another note: Province’s education minister calling out those parents who complain about the math program as suffering from”Mathaphobia.”  “They will be dealt with” he, she and heyz announced.

At a recent press conference, Justin Trudeau called U.S.-based Haitians entering Quebec “irregular” immigrants, as opposed to illegal ones, even though they are illegal.

On another note, and following Trudeau’s comments, a Canadian government official, The “Minister for Illegal Immigration,” who wishes to remain anonymous, says that Keopectate will be issued to all new irregulars. Trudeau then left for his latest round of international meetings and important discussions with foreign leaders and Heads of State.

“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”

Image result for pictures of justin trudeau and merkel

“Hey Mutti, I just passed Ontario’s sex education program.”

“Wonderbra Justin. I’m so excited.”

 

Over and out…………………………..SJ

Mumps and Tight Undies

The Canadian Standards Association (CSA) is seriously serious about the environment.  Seriously.  In fact, they’ve proudly announced their intention to insert climate change things and stuff into their standards.  “These projects,” said CSA, “aim to mitigate infrastructure vulnerabilities caused by extreme weather events to help keep Canadians safer.”

I think I would be a lot safer if CSA would only stay out of my life. Stick to standards and stop trying to save me from idiot organizations like….??

 

More than a third of Californian households at risk of losing everything. The Moonbat State’s latest legislation to enforce everyone to hold their breaths for a minute at a time to reduce CO2 levels will do nothing to mitigate this crisis. “Yep but gall darnit anyway, we’ll have the cleanest air in the country, perhaps the planet,” a member of the state’s legislature was heard to say. The others farted in agreement as they held their breaths and plugged their noses.

 

Alberta’s United Conservatives Party. A spokesperson said that the party would pander to the unions while supporting business. Say what? Someone was then heard to ask:

“When are we going to elect that oxy moron as leader of this new party?”

 

According to the “Rolling Stone” magazine, the “Baby Boomer” generation’s secular manifesto in magazine form, says that: “For Western civilization Trudeau is our last hope……………….FOR DOPE?

“Yeah man.” Heard in passing: “Who reads Rolling Stone anymore?”

When will we get rid of these narcissistic poofters disguised as national leaders. Get this guy some clothes…quick.

Can you imagine if we had leaders like this during the Second World War? We would be doomed.

 

Petronas pulls out of huge Canadian LNG project. Can’t handle the bureaucratic mumble jumble anymore. 7 years and counting and still no commitment from the Province of BC or the Feds. This on the heels of the Northern Gateway cancellations followed on the toes of the up and coming Kinder Morgan cancellation, Site C dam cancellation and others.

But hey, we’re Canadians so we know better than anybody else.

Only in Canada you say……………….shitty

 

A Muslim Miss World contest? How can this be? One judge was heard to say: “The Bhurka competition was a real challenge. No clear winner emerged!”

If Climate Change wasn’t enough to scare the beejeezus out of us:  “Shocking’ fall in sperm counts in the West have doctors warning against human extinction”…..Geesh. I thought Climate Change had that all wrapped up. But reading into this comes the clincher: “declining sperm quality and quantity to exposure to chemicals and pesticides — as well as to lifestyle factors, including stress, obesity and habits such as wearing tight underpants.”

Hey, what about the “Mumps”

Tell this to the Indians, Chinese and particularly….the Muslims, whose stated aim is to take over the world, not by the sword but by demographics.

“I’ll see your two point five children infidel and raise you 10.”

 

California, The Moonbat State, has too much Marijuana and can’t get rid of its surplus.

On another note the State’s anti smoking legislation hits a new high. Its hold your breath for a minute every 5 minutes hits a new low and has a huge impact on its bottom line. Flatulence levels soar.

Too bad that they can’t grow more money.

 

SJ……out.