Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Sh*t for Brains

Hidden Agenda? So who has the hidden agenda? Harper or Trudeau?

“Kinder Morgan is important for our national interest” Trudeau tells Canadians and then on the world stage tells France and European Leaders that he is ashamed of Alberta’s oil sands and will do all that he can to shut them down. Commenting on the high price of gas in Vancouver and Victoria – most expensive in North America – well, he is in total agreement: “This is exactly what we want….yesssss!”

This puppet is out to destroy the Canadian economy and emasculate Alberta’s livelihood. He is a feminist after all. The premier of BC and his puppet-master, the leader of the green party, are ecstatic over this. The sad thing is that they were voted in in the first place and will probably win another term. Reminds me of my comment about MacDonald’s. They raised their menu prices and sales soared….duh?

See the source image“I have a dream…….man”

“And it doesn’t include you”

This gas thingy can really turn me on….man.See the source imageCompared to Harper this man’s dream is a nightmare!

Have to laugh at a survey done about countries that have the most freedom. Sweden, Norway and Finland tied for first. Are you kidding me? These countries are probably the most regulated countries in the world. Consider 250 regulations on how cucumbers are to be grown and distributed. And, they have to be a strait as an arrow man-people. They, the cucumbers that is, cannot be bent. Well, is that freedom? Straight? The LGBTQRSTUVWXY and Z crowd in these places are all in a tizzy over that bit of news. No  you cannot do what you want in these places and the taxes are sky high. Just ask a cucumber farmer and he’ll tell you straight up!

The UN is all excited about this one. If the Scandinavian countries can pull “the sheep’s wool” over our eyes with this stat just think what we could do with the sale and regulation of “wellies” all over the sheep farming world. Finally, a new world order. “One world government here we cum…er come!” the head of the UN – who wished to remain anonymous – remarked recently.

And, have you seen Sweden lately?

See the source image“We want to be like Norway!”                        “Their cucumbers are straighter than ours…shameful!”

A Swedish cucumber grown in Sweden’s red light district:

See the source imageThe response was immediate:

See the source image   Sweden’s cucumber riot squad hit the streets:

See the source image

“And what about Swedish meat balls?” someone asked

“Don’t even go there!” the police responded.

And in Finland? The # 1 freedom country in the world? Just as straight as can be man!

See the source imageNext week? Zucchinis!

From the…they just cannot give it up file comes this headline from the Hill:

“Impeachment Looms Large in the White House”

Just one day after the leader of South Korea stated publicly that Trump should win the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in ending the Korean War and bringing peace to the peninsula after 63 years….Geesh.

“Yeah but….” Nancy Pelosi, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated categorically. “We all know it was Bernie Sanders who played his cards appropriately in this showdown with North Korea, not Trump.

“Damn you Who Flung Poo” Bernie shouted at the leader of North Korea while at the negotiating table. “Hearts are trump, not spades….hearts” Poo took out his clubs and whacked Bernie with all he had.

“I call” he said.

Bernie, in desperation yelled. “This is Bridge you idiot…Bridge. Not some international poker game. This is serious business. It saved me during my University days…… I’ll lead off here with…. “jacks””

“Okay? Fish!” Poo answered.

And so it was. Bernie Sanders played Euchre with the leader of North Korea all day and finally won.  For his efforts and perseverance he is up for the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize in trumping North Korea.

As for Trump? Last time I heard it was diamonds.

It would appear these guys have sh*t for brains:

a man wearing a blue shirtBeckham shows off his latest tattoos

Just wait until you are old and wrinkly dude.

Only in Canada would you hear or see this headline…and in French too!

“Well, it depends! Are you a man-people or a wo-people?”

“Neither. Hey, I am a zay, maybe a zee, or a zit, or a zat. Last time I checked I had a weenee Mr Financial wizard dude”

And from another original Canadian thought comes this:

Ottawa demands that North Korea abandon its nuclear program.

               Or else, we will send our covert surveillance resources to spy on you!

The leader of North Korea responds in kind:

See the source image“Can Canadian sub sink? Me sinks not”

I can see you Canada…ooooo, I am soooo scared.

Enough of this, or that, or zay, zee, zits or zat.

Non Binary? The gift that keeps on giving to bloggers like me.

Song of the day:

Have a nice day.

SJ…………………………………….Out

Don’t Worry. The Bomb Won’t Kill Ya!

Vezelay, here I come in 98 days…hopefully.

See the source imageLooks really, really nice to me, don’t ya think?

Check out Kurofune link at the top right of this page. My first crack at being a writer.

Sad about Toronto van incident. My home town, Toronto. What possible motive could anyone have in doing this? But it’s not terrorism…according to Trudeau government.

Don’t know about you but if I saw a van barreling down on me on a sidewalk in a city I would be sacred shitless, wouldn’t you? If that isn’t terror I don’t know what is! Of course Trudeau paid out $10.5M to a convicted terrorist and apologized to him for being a…terrorist. He was soooo misunderstood, according to Liberal government officials. Just ask the victim’s wife.

Being bored is the number one downside of being rich, according to some millionaires. Lack of purpose or get up and go…where? Well anywhere if you’re rich. I’d like to try being rich and bored rather than being poor and postal in my current job….Geesh. Some could be so lucky.

Another mystery of life…

See the source imageThis dude’s eyes are scary!

…have you ever noticed that while all the hair on your body turns grey when you get old, your eyebrows stay the same youthful colour? Hmmm? Hmmm? Perhaps to remind us what we once were every time we look into the mirror. Just another mystery of life.

Only in the UK! Lip-Reader reveals what Will and Kate remarked during official baby photoshoot.

Prince William, Duke of Cambridge et al. standing in front of a building: Prince William and Duchess Kate leave the hospital with their newborn baby boy at St. Mary's Hospital in London on April 23, 2018.     “Piss off!”

Charles’ reaction to royal baby?

Proud grandfather Prince Charles has congratulated Prince William and Kate Middleton on their third child and it has to be the cutest reaction yet!: Prince Charles' sweet reaction to the Royal Baby. “It’s a what?”

“A zir, a zay, a zitz or titz? C’mon, what gender is the baby?”  “It’s non binary Charley. You are sooo, sooo, 1980’s.”

a person wearing a hatA Cal state English professor will keep her job university officials stated. Her vile comments about Barbara Bush and her death are protected under the First Amendment..they proffered. How I love that word…proferred. And apoplectic, posit…other university-speak buzzwords. If a male had said that he would have been gone before he even deposited it. First Amendment right? This from a University that will talk the talk but not walk the walk because they, the university staff, all agree with her but can’t acknowledge that publicly. Note: would you want your children to be taught by someone like this. Notice the Palestinian coloured scarf. Progressives…UNITE!

WaPo Headline: “Trump having trouble holding his wife’s hand.” Are you kidding me? Perhaps his hand was sweating. Meanwhile over at another illustrious news-rag comes this. “Trump struggling to hold the hands of his wife”…or… from the NYT’s undercover reporter: “What really happened to Trump in Moscow.

They just will not leave this guy alone. Love him or hate him, nobody deserves this kind of tabloid press…and that is why I will never subscribe to a newspaper ever again. Trump Derangement Syndrome in spades here.

Trudeau blames the Conservatives under Harper for Canada’s current border crisis. Of course he does. What, not Trump? C’mon. Everybody knows Trump is at fault for every crisis on this planet.

Why is everyone all of a sudden so concerned about Russian missiles being able to hit Manhattan or anywhere else in the world today? This is not new Millennials:

See the source imageScene from Dr. Strangelove

See the source image The war room scene in Dr. Strangelove.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb was released in 1964!

See the source image“and then it goes………kaboom!”

So move on millennials. No story here

Penn States “Outing” club is now banned from going outside.

What’s more dangerous: rugby, or a walk in the woods? At Pennsylvania State University, the administrators apparently think it’s the latter.

A key issue for administrators was that the Outing Club frequently visit locations with poor cell phone coverage. This wasn’t an issue during the Coolidge administration, but now that cell phones exist, students are apparently expected to remain glued to them at all times.

“Whoa, whoa wait a minute”…one Penn State University official was heard to say “I thought this was a “Coming Out” club, as in coming out, not camping out.” Same thing ain’t it?

And this is just another reason why I would suggest that nobody in their right, or left mind encourage their children to go to university. Learn a trade man or maness, dude or dudess.

Chicago Sun Times going under? It’s about time!

Shania Twain shamed by the media because she dared to say she would have voted for Trump. She backed down to the pressure of the liberal thought police.

And here I thought it was her horse!

So the media isn’t biased huh? The scary thing today is a person’s livelihood, reputation and well being can be destroyed just for saying that they are a conservative. Just ask Tim Allen about that with respect of how Holly’s Woody in the Morning crowd treated him when he came out publicly as a conservative.

1984 redux…you bet. It is scary.

As for me?

SJ…………………………………Out

 

Japanese Enzymes

99 more sleeps to Vezelay

See the source image

Check out Kurofune, my first crack at writing a novel. Click on the link above right…thanks.

Enzyme that was being researched by the Japanese was found to eat plastic by mistake. Wow: They can eat plastic bottles? Unfortunately landfills in Japan are starting to look like this:

See the source imageUnintended consequences.

Did you know that mammals became smaller after the introduction of humans? Especially in North America! Of course its “whitey’s” fault. Well no. Who populated North America before “whitey?”  Oh damn, move on. No story here folks.

From the Bananarama file comes this bit of news. According to CNN, the cable news networks that aired this piece 47 times in one hour, shows some guy who fractured his “penis:”. How can this be? I thought. The penis is a muscle. So how can you fracture a muscle? You can’t but you can definitely pull a muscle! This is……… CNN.

M n M hits 10 years of sobriety:

Yeah, he looks happy!     Eminem.

I like the yellow ones best!

From the: “I couldn’t care less file comes this:”

25 Things You Shouldn’t Do At A Gym: and farting wasn’t one of them. Whew. Thanks to the “beano” gawds for that.

From the “Who gives two ^%$& file comes this:”

Kendall Jenner flirting with Diplo. Diplo? Diplo? Who on earth calls themselves that? “Oh he used to be known as Dipstick the Dipshit.” his publicist was heard to remark. Fans were getting confused so he changed his name to Diplo.

Kendall Jenner was seen getting close to Diplo as they partied at the 2018 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California.Why can he just be known as George?

By the way. Who the *&^% is Kendall Jenner? Caitlyn’s twin brother?

From the “Die caught of mee” file comes this: The Trudeau government has refused to act on this issue (Kinder Morgan Pipeline expansion) in any meaningful way despite the constitution clearly saying that something like a pipeline that crosses provincial borders is within federal jurisdiction. BC says otherwise then castigates Alberta and Saskatchewan for operating and threatening BC within the realm of the Canadian Constitution. Of course the constitution also says I should be able to take beer across a provincial border and the Supreme Court just ripped that up with Trudeau’s help.

“Damn,” these guys remarked. Did they say Beer? No Beer?

See the source imageConcerned Canadians.

Meanwhile, back at the farm our dear leader is shown working (no joke) while a photographer takes a picture of a photographer taking Dear Leader’s picture.

Of course our Dear Leader is autographing a picture of himself. “Hard work” he was heard to remark. “You know, I could get “Harpo Tundra” syndrome from doing this.”

Really? See the source image

Only in Canada would you see this headline:

In Blocking Beer, Supreme Court (of Canada) Shows Horgan (Premier of BC) The Path to Block the Pipeline. It then goes on to say: “Collateral damage of the Supreme Court’s decision that beer needs to be criminalized to protect milk, John Horgan gets the court’s blessing to block the pipeline and to criminalize beer to protect milk.

Latest heard from concerned Canadians:

See the source image“Wait! Did they say to protect Milk??

Harvard decides that Free Speech is far right.

No it’s “far out” man.

How far down the toilet has our civil-ization run?:

“Barbara Bush was a generous and smart and amazing racist who, along with her husband, raised a war criminal. F*** outta here with your nice words,” the professor tweeted. “I’m happy the witch is dead. Can’t wait for the rest of her family to fall to their demise the way 1.5 million Iraqis have.” (University of Fresno Professor of English Literature)

Nice! From those tolerant lefties. And that is why I encourage all young people to learn a trade and stay well clear of Universities.

From the “Unintended Consequences” file comes this headline in the UK:

“9 out 10 teenagers at drug treatment centres being treated for cannabis addiction.”

“Who would have thunk it?”

In Canada? No story here folks, move on:

This is what happens to a Canadian Millennial brain on the weed:

See the source image

Enough of this shyte dude. There is just too much craziness out there.

Song of the day:

The lead guitar player is surely on to something.

Have a great Monday.

SJ………………………………Out

School’s Out

Countdown to Vezelay: 107 more sleeps.

See the source image

According to the UK Press, this is the dish Kate Middleton loves to cook:

Image result for pics of kraft dinnerYesss!

Beginning to like her more and more.

Another UK Nugget. Only the Brits could come up with a headline like this one:

It’s a male copper by the way! Love those Brit tabloids.

How’s that Climate Change thingy doing for ya? Remember that Alice Cooper song? No more winters, no more snow!

a tree in the snow: Crews work to remove a fallen tree on Southwood Drive in Toronto during an ice storm that hit parts of Ontario on the weekend.Toronto Ice Storm (almost May)

From the “It’s always someone else’s fault” file comes this:

With (Canadian) household debt now at a record 171 per cent of average annual disposable income, the country faces the risk of a much worse sort of housing downturn: The kind caused by defaulting borrowers, leading to financially troubled banks, and inevitably, a recession.

But hey, its the government’s fault.  Look in the mirror buddy.

For all those Canadians in massive debt here is the “Joke of the week:”

The Jewish Tie Salesman
The Jewish Tie Salesman
 
A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
 
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack – selling ties.
 
The Taliban terrorist asked, “Do you have water?”
 
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?  They are only $5.”
 
The Taliban shouted hysterically, “Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment. I spit on your ties. I need water!
 
“Sorry, I have none, just ties – pure silk, and only $5.”
 
“Pahh! A curse on your ties! I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but . . . I must conserve my energy and find water!”
 
“Okay,” said the little old Jewish man. It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me,*or *that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go In Peace.”
 
Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away, over the hill.
 
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped,  “They won’t let me in without a tie!
Good one. We need more laughter in our lives…politically correct or not!
Love this!

What will weather patterns look like by the end of the century?

Went sailing yesterday. The forecast. Sunny with cloudy periods, winds light from the NE at 5 knots. What did we get? Cloudy, raining and winds up to 12 knots from the SE.

How do they know? Well they don’t as they can’t even predict the weather tomorrow. And what models do they use in their predictions? Why these of course:

Various methods of predicting and tracking weather have been used for thousands of years, but in recent times weather patterns have become increasingly indicative of climate change. The prediction: a future of extremes, ranging from droughts, heavy rainfall, and extensive heatwaves to longer growing seasons. Here are 20 ways scientists project the weather will change, worldwide, by the end of the 21st century.

Of course, all the usual suspects. And how do they know? They don’t. This climate model would be just as accurate:

See the source image

It’s going to be foggy out there for sure. Or maybe this:
See the source image
Or this:
See the source image
Yup, that’ll do it.
Check out my book Kurofune. Just click on the link at the top right of this page.
Song of the day. Good ole Alice:
Happy Monday
SJ…………………………Out

It’s Too Hot Baby

Hey, check out my first novel published on Amazon. “Kurofune: The Black Ships. A Novel of World War II.” Getting great reviews. Click on the link at the top right of this page and check it out….thanks.

Love this from the UK:

‘I’m not having children because I want to save the planet’
What’s the best thing you can do to help save the environment? For Anna, a cycling instructor and writer living in Bath, it’s to have fewer children. She has chosen not to have any at all.

First of all why does somebody need to pay someone to teach them how to ride a bicycle. Isn’t that what dads are for? Oops sorry for the white privilege.

Secondly, I say great, the world doesn’t need more offspring from some idiot that could potentially taint the gene pool. After all that is why we have the Darwin Awards.

She / they say that the world’s population is exploding therefore people should be having less or no children. Well this plays right into Islam’s ideology. “If we can’t overrun you by the sword we will destroy you demographically.” Islam poker match:

“Hey I see your 2.5 kids and will raise you 10. My call”

LA is treating its streets with some sort of “white coloured film-over” to combat climate change. Hey isn’t this a white privilege initiative? Black Lives Matter were all in a tit-shit over this latest move by the LA city council.

Speaking of so called whiteness and idiocy / stupidity. Some journalist from Macleans / Globe and Mail reported on the Humboldt Tragedy  “Go Fund Me” initiative (SDA):

I’m trying to not get cynical about what is a totally devastating tragedy but the maleness, the youthfulness and the whiteness of the victims are, of course, playing a significant role here.

Unbelievable! Would she say the same thing if they were black, or Asian? So racist, so utterly callous, so utterly bullshit. She should be fired for her callousness but she won’t. That only happens to white males here in Canada!

On the “how do these idiots ever get elected” file comes this. Again from London:

“Led by London Mayor and notably weak-kneed coward Sadiq Khan the British nation has now decided to fight back against knife violence… by a new campaign that should be called: Ban the blade. It could be called: Forever chopsticks. In truth, it’s called: knife control.”

Now, Benson continues, you are going to have to show an ID card before you purchase a carving knife. But, it’s not just carving knives. The new rules are also going to restrict the sales of plastic knives. But, the enquiring mind wants to know, what about forks? And, what about pitchforks? And what about Fork-lifts?

And:

British Parliament is also set to take up heavy “knife control” legislation when it resumes this week. The U.K. government is expected to introduce a ban on online knife sales and home knife deliveries, declare it “illegal to possess zombie knives and knuckledusters in private”

Zombie knives? Are you kidding me. Don’t they know that zombies:

Image result for pics of zombiesLike this guy.

ARE ALREADY DEAD!  A knife can’t hurt them! I can’t make this stuff up. Someone added: “how are we going to eat our food now? Especially lobsters.

“Fingers just don’t cut it” someone else remarked.

No, it’s all a plot for this:

See the source imageNot a knife to be seen. Or box cutters.

“No we use our knives and box cutters for more important things.”

Why most of Meghan Markle’s family will not be at the royal wedding:

While Prince Harry’s family will turn out in force for his May 19 wedding to Meghan Markle, the same can’t be said for the bride’s family.  That’s because the Markle family is a tangle of half-siblings, multiple divorced spouses and their children. The dysfunction, feuds and recriminations in this middle-class American family with more than its share of good and bad fortune are such that it’s hard to keep her family tree straight.

Hmmm, must be the direct descendants of Henry the VIIIth!

From Journalistate comes this bit of fluff: Angelina’s daughter used to be gorgeous. Now she looks insane!

Yeah, just like her mother!

Things you would never hear 20 years ago:

“Sometimes becoming a parent feels out of my reach. My wife and I both have uteruses, and sperm costs too damn much.”

You got that right Virginia, Virginia. About $250K according to today’s parent. Poor kids! No father. Damn that SJW, white privilege rhetoric again!

Gotta love this one. From a Christian abortionist (isn’t that a Christian oxymoron?):

Quote of the year!: “Aborting babies is my Christian calling”…say what?

He says he is “quite comfortable talking about the moral and spiritual center.” He calls it “dignity restoration.” It’s okay to sin, so long as you convince yourself to feel good about it.
As long as it feels good it’s okay. Psychopaths are in a tizzy over this one!
I mean that’s why the Catholic Church invented Confession isn’t it? Just go in to the Priest Cave once a week to seek atonement and absolution, and voila, the slates clean so you can now go out and sin again, and again, and again. So very, very righteous. These guys were geniuses. Like you car, your soul needs a tune-up and a wash (with wax) every once in awhile.
And, and, the Pope now says that hell doesn’t exist and by its own corollary, Satan, or the devil him / her, zir, zey, zits, titz… self can’t exist without his own dominion to look out over.
It was getting too hot in the kitchen I guess…….Geeesh
The world is getting crazier and crazier. I love it as it keeps my blog relevant.
Have a Happy Friday and weekend. Read ya Monday.

 

SJ…………………………….Out

Song of the day: