Month: March 2019

Chill Out…Man!

This just in from California, the Moonbat State:

After a shooting in a park, Sacramento city officials have implemented a fund that will pay gang members not to turn to violence but to protect city residents. Of course Sacramento is the seat of the State’s government with Governor Brown. Remember this Moonbat and the State’s move to allow criminals a safe haven for petty crimes!

“California Dreamin” has become the rallying cry for all of the US’ criminal element.

Can’t wait to see the fall-out over this initiative.

Another solar eclipse can’t come soon enough.

Next initiative is to have all gang members in Sacramento have hair cuts like this guy:

Image result for kim jong un haircut“Makes for great branding and we’ll know exactly who is part of the gang and therefore deserves to be paid……” said one city official………..Geesh

 

Today’s hypocrisy award has to go to Canada’s illustrious leader. Appears Trudeau is blasting the US for unfair subsidies to the US Aerospace industry. This from a guy who gave almost 1/2 Billion dollars to Quebec’s Bombardier aerospace company and upholds Quebec’s stranglehold on Supply Management issues, code for huge government subsidies, supporting Quebec’s dairy industry. Trudeau discussed these issues with his new cabinet ministers:

Who are both in a tizzy over this. “We have to stick up for Quebec’s right to screw us all…….ooooooo!” They were heard to coooooo.

Why I no longer watch the news: Hurricane Harvey was the worst storm in the history of the planet. Washington Post should know. Now Irma is coming and forget about Harvey because Irma is now the worst storm that this planet has eva seen or experienced. This, before it even makes landfall. Wow. Bet your bottom dollar that Harvey was caused by climate change and so is Irma. Harvey was the worst storm eva but Irma appears to be worster……shure sauce man!  See yesterday’s Millennial English quote. It’s apocalyptic man. We’re all going to die!

New York Time’s response? Blame Trump

 

Seems Germans are upset at Lidl supermarket chain for airbrushing Christian symbols off of its packaging so as to be seen to be catering to one religious sector over another. Those complaining were ignored and branded as some real sour krauts. In response Bavarian sausages’ name changed to “Lidl – Hausen Hot Dogs.”

BTW, I loved going to the Lidl stores when I had an extended stay for over three months in the Netherlands in 2014 and 2015. Imagine, a 24 of great tasting beer for$15.00 Cdn or a flask of good Merlot for 4 bucks Canadian…wow! Canadians are sooo screwed. But hey, we’re smug about getting screwed! Nowhere in the world do people get screwed as much as we Canadians….so there!

 

In Sweden it would appear that over 83% of child refugees are actually adults. In a country that is full of whining babies, who would have thought otherwise?

 

This just in: Marijuana makes male sperm (is there any other?) lazy. Really, I would have thought that it would be extremely difficult just to get it up while under the influence. Two male sperms heard in passing while under the influence: “Hey man, are you going in? Huh? No man, you go in, I insist. No you go man, no you go. Hey man, chill out! No man that would kill me.

“Canadian skies were lit up by a strange object when a brief flash appeared over British Columbia. Those lucky enough to be looking upward at the time were left puzzled – unsure whether it was a meteorite or if aliens had visited.” If this occurred in British Columbia then it was definitely caused by aliens. Hippies from an alternate dimension perhaps. Hey man, chill out.

A psychedelic, Christian song, written and performed by a Jew. A song well ahead of its time – 1969. Great riff.

 

SJ…………..out of sight, man!

 

Music to My Ears

Words from “Where do the Children Play” From “Tea for the Tillerman,” Cat Stevens, 1970. A time when music meant something.

Will you make us laugh
Will you make us cry
Will you tell us when to live
Will you tell us when to die

Sound familiar? I think we’re just about there, don’t you?

There’s more to music than Taylor Swift or Gaga’s Poker Face you know. Check out Cat Steven’s “Father and Son.” Makes a grown man cry.

Other nonsense:

This just in from Ontario, Canada. Seems that the Premier’s new Math strategy is failing students miserably. Falling behind their own Provincial Standards. “Yeah, well these Grade 6 students know a great deal about oral sex you know.” said one parent. The Province’s sex ed program,which starts in Kindergarten, has been a great success.

On another note: Province’s teen pregnancy rates going through the glass ceilings.

On another, another note. “Yeah, well just lower the Standards Bar. That’ll solve the problem, “toute suite.”  Just like we did for our Province’s French spelling standard.

Oh yeah but: New ancient Math tablet discovered. Will change everything we thought we knew about the new Math.

See the source image

1 + 1 = 3…Yikes

On another, another, another note: Province’s education minister calling out those parents who complain about the math program as suffering from”Mathaphobia.”  “They will be dealt with” he, she and heyz announced.

At a recent press conference, Justin Trudeau called U.S.-based Haitians entering Quebec “irregular” immigrants, as opposed to illegal ones, even though they are illegal.

On another note, and following Trudeau’s comments, a Canadian government official, The “Minister for Illegal Immigration,” who wishes to remain anonymous, says that Keopectate will be issued to all new irregulars. Trudeau then left for his latest round of international meetings and important discussions with foreign leaders and Heads of State.

“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”

Image result for pictures of justin trudeau and merkel

“Hey Mutti, I just passed Ontario’s sex education program.”

“Wonderbra Justin. I’m so excited.”

 

Over and out…………………………..SJ

Polar Bears

Green police in Canada want to shut down any dissention dealing with climate change denial and deniers. They have gone to a government agency to force legitimate private individuals who question the reality of climate change from stating or saying anything that would go against the environmental narrative – misleading information about the real climate change dangers.

Image result for pics of polar bears in garbage dumps

Meanwhile the Greenies have just come out with a report that says that the Aurora Borealis is caused by climate change and is having a very serious impact on the health of Polar Bears. They can’t sleep. It seems that the northern lights keep the bears up all night. The situation is getting so bad that the bears are looking for relief in various garbage dumps strewn across the north. They are looking to the south for solutions.

Image result for adele penguins

It appears that the same problem exists for the South Pole’s Aurora Australius. Seems that the Southern Lights are preventing both the Adele and the Emperor Penguins from having a good nights sleep. Never mind that it is dark in both regions 8 months of the year. Climate Change proponents want to pipe in Adele’s music to rock these babies to sleep. No, says one environmentalist group, Friends of Adele Penguins, that would only exacerbate the problem. They would go nuts, maybe turn gay, just like the two above.

 

From the it’s so obvious file: Could the Ontario government actually lose money selling pot once Trudope legalizes it? Huh?, Huh,? Huh?, Eh? Eh?

 

Here’s something the Greenies don’t want you to see. Windmills in Evanston Saskatchewan burst into flames and start massive wildfire. Bats and brush be damned. The Greenies came back with the fact that everyone knows that we can all expect more of the same due to climate change. You got that right.

See the source image

San Diego has begun a program to wash down city streets of the downtown core due to a homeless outbreak of Hep A caused by public pooping. It seems that city officials are raising a stink about the whole matter. That in addition to the high levels of Flatulence that exists in the Moonbat State, as a result of the State’s new legislation that calls for people to hold their breaths for a minute of every 5 minutes to reduce CO2 levels. “Nothing is working” one legislator was heard to say.  While holding their breaths it would appear that they cannot hold their end trails. Shit happens. Yes it does. A major San Andreas fault event cannot come soon enough.

What goes around comes……Germany prepared to force Poland to pay huge fines if they do not take in more refugees. Poland refuses to do so and has initiated legal action to force Germany to pay over $1 Trillion for compensation for WW2 atrocities and destruction of the Polish nation. Mutti retreats to Munich and to her favourite haunt to think about her next move:

Image result for pics of Merkel and octoberfest

No, not her!

Image result for pics of Merkel and octoberfestImage result for Pics of Merkel at octoberfest

“That’s better. Now if only I could think like these guys to solve this problem. Love their hats. How I love a man in uniform!”

See the source image

Opening ceremony of the North Korean Oktoberfest… 14 September 2018! It will be a very long ceremony.

Has the NYT gone completely mad?…………………YES.

Libs sick of the alt Left are taking the so-called “Red Pill.” We want to feel Alt right in the morning, about things in general!

Latest Darwin Award candidate.

Oh for those simple, innocent days.

 

That’s all I wrote. See ya.

 

SJ………………Out

Mumps and Tight Undies

The Canadian Standards Association (CSA) is seriously serious about the environment.  Seriously.  In fact, they’ve proudly announced their intention to insert climate change things and stuff into their standards.  “These projects,” said CSA, “aim to mitigate infrastructure vulnerabilities caused by extreme weather events to help keep Canadians safer.”

I think I would be a lot safer if CSA would only stay out of my life. Stick to standards and stop trying to save me from idiot organizations like….??

 

More than a third of Californian households at risk of losing everything. The Moonbat State’s latest legislation to enforce everyone to hold their breaths for a minute at a time to reduce CO2 levels will do nothing to mitigate this crisis. “Yep but gall darnit anyway, we’ll have the cleanest air in the country, perhaps the planet,” a member of the state’s legislature was heard to say. The others farted in agreement as they held their breaths and plugged their noses.

 

Alberta’s United Conservatives Party. A spokesperson said that the party would pander to the unions while supporting business. Say what? Someone was then heard to ask:

“When are we going to elect that oxy moron as leader of this new party?”

 

According to the “Rolling Stone” magazine, the “Baby Boomer” generation’s secular manifesto in magazine form, says that: “For Western civilization Trudeau is our last hope……………….FOR DOPE?

“Yeah man.” Heard in passing: “Who reads Rolling Stone anymore?”

When will we get rid of these narcissistic poofters disguised as national leaders. Get this guy some clothes…quick.

Can you imagine if we had leaders like this during the Second World War? We would be doomed.

 

Petronas pulls out of huge Canadian LNG project. Can’t handle the bureaucratic mumble jumble anymore. 7 years and counting and still no commitment from the Province of BC or the Feds. This on the heels of the Northern Gateway cancellations followed on the toes of the up and coming Kinder Morgan cancellation, Site C dam cancellation and others.

But hey, we’re Canadians so we know better than anybody else.

Only in Canada you say……………….shitty

 

A Muslim Miss World contest? How can this be? One judge was heard to say: “The Bhurka competition was a real challenge. No clear winner emerged!”

If Climate Change wasn’t enough to scare the beejeezus out of us:  “Shocking’ fall in sperm counts in the West have doctors warning against human extinction”…..Geesh. I thought Climate Change had that all wrapped up. But reading into this comes the clincher: “declining sperm quality and quantity to exposure to chemicals and pesticides — as well as to lifestyle factors, including stress, obesity and habits such as wearing tight underpants.”

Hey, what about the “Mumps”

Tell this to the Indians, Chinese and particularly….the Muslims, whose stated aim is to take over the world, not by the sword but by demographics.

“I’ll see your two point five children infidel and raise you 10.”

 

California, The Moonbat State, has too much Marijuana and can’t get rid of its surplus.

On another note the State’s anti smoking legislation hits a new high. Its hold your breath for a minute every 5 minutes hits a new low and has a huge impact on its bottom line. Flatulence levels soar.

Too bad that they can’t grow more money.

 

SJ……out.

 

 

Victorian Smugness

I am going to get into a bit of trouble with this post. So be it.

Ah Victoria. Good or Bad? Weather actually sucks. Endless winter days turn into weeks of gray dull skies; mist transforms into drizzle, showers transition to rain. Waiting for summer to arrive, patiently, in June, only to be tricked yet again that it is really November outside.

Fashionable? Perhaps, if one takes to Tilley hats, fleeced vests, birkenstocks, slickers, and gum boots. Last vestige of hippiedom in Canada – alive and well and living in a kaleidoscope of multi-coloured, ugly, and messy wood-framed homes and apartments (the Pink Palace comes to mind) in James Bay, Fairfield and the Jubilee area. Where the only excitement one can muster is having an overpriced coffee in one of the coffee houses in the Cook Street Village.  I have finally made it here because I live in a cloister of over priced, original, cold, un-updated, asbestos laden 1940 era homes in Oak Bay behind a tweed and snobby curtain – for close to a million bucks! And no respected individual would ever venture across the new “Blue Bridge”into Esquimalt.

Ah Victoria, the city of continual protests – from the new interchange and bridge to nowhere to the rotten 300 foot high cedar, that needed to come down in Cordova Bay, or was that Cadboro Bay?  Sewage treatment and LRT discussions that never seem to end. Lovely bedroom communities of the tired worn out neighbourhoods of Gordon Head, Esquimalt, Vic West – Bay St,  Hillside and Mount Tolmie corridors – neighbourhoods now weaned on uncut, brown grass, peeling paint, dirty stucco, unsightly weeds and outdoor lawn furniture by either Ford or GM.  Of course defining something as quaint in Victoria, such as Fernwood or the Quadra Street Village really equates to a “dump” in the rest of Canada.  And the traffic sucks. Big city like!

Ah yes Victoria, City of Gardens, now a City of Weeds.  Yes Victoria? A leader on the cusp of 19th Century transportation initiatives.  And, the only place that I know of on earth, Bangladesh excepted perhaps, that has an aggregate stone processing facility and cement plant in the middle of the city!!!!  And the University of Victoria? Oh yes, that beacon of light in the darkness and bastion of free speech and lawful assembly everywhere – NOT! Only at UVic would one hear that a Canadian icon such as the canoe is really a throwback to imperialism, colonialism and oppression. Those dastardly Brits and their Evil Empire! What?

Ah, the Victorian Waterfront – it’s a jungle down there, especially around Beacon Hill Park – cut the friggin grass! The New West Shore will always be, in my mind, the old Western Communities: Colwood, Langford and Metchosin, and all the red neckiness that this area represents. Traffic headiness, high density West Hills and Royal Bay, which will be projects in 10 years time, and an ugliness that would rival Toronto’s rush hour. There’s only one way out of town – to nowhere.

This city is pedantic, provincial, parochial, insecure and smug – that’s why everyone here has to constantly remind themselves and everyone else within earshot about what a great place Victoria is – the best place on earth to live. Well, you know what Victorians? It isn’t.

Don’t get me wrong. Victoria is still a nice place to live in many respects but the smugness here is ingratiating to me.

I always thought they were singing ” douche”

Have a great Navy day.

 

SJ…………………………………………………….Out