Author: admin

Scary and Hairy.

Just thinking today about getting my hair cut. What style says I; this:

Image result for pics of trumps hairYou’re hired!

Or this:

Image result for pics of North Korea's kim's hair

You’re fired!

What about this?…

Image result for pics of North Korea's kim's hairYou’ve expired

Or maybe this:

Image result for Gert wilders haircut

Gert Wilders

Or this guy:

Image result for Gert wilders haircut

Gert’s twin brother. See the resemblance! No?

My wife would have said I was jealous. I guess I’ll just go with this:

Ya, that’ll do it.

Perhaps not!

What else is going on.

Big news day in the UK: Meghan Markle has an awkward moment during her first royal engagement. Yeah, so? What? Did she say no to Harry?

Headline News at the London Times:  “Kate Middleton’s Furry Hat Becomes 1,000 Times More Exciting When You See Her Gloves”

Image result for pics of bad handwriting
I always knew that English is a foreign language. Just try watching an English TV show without close captioning.
Justin Trudeau finds billions to give to foreign countries. $10.5M to a convicted terrorist Omar Kadr. He finds billions to expand the bureaucracy. $2.5B to a climate fraud…er fund. He finds billions despite massive budget deficits. But when it comes to Veterans, all of a sudden he says the government is out of money. DISGUSTING.
Perhaps Trudeau hasn’t got gist of the new math being taught in Ontario:
1 + 1 = 11, or 2 + 2 = 22. Yeah that would explain those big payouts to Kadr:
$1 mil + $1 mil + $11 Million. We had to take $.5M off for admin costs!
Or hair like this:
Image result for pics of funny trudeau hairKinda looks like “Anonymous” don’t you think:
Image result for pics of anonymous
Difference between Canada and the US economy can be described as such:
“What’s happening in the U.S.? They’re lowering taxes, they’re building pipelines and they’re starting to export oil,” Conway told The Canadian Press, adding that in Canada, taxes have been raised, pipelines are not getting built, and there isn’t much regulatory certainty.”
In comparison, a Canadian pipeline in operation:
Image result for pics of pipes in marijuana smoking lines
“Yeah, but we know better than those dastardly Americans don’t you know.” said one of Canada’s smug elites. “After all we are #1 in the world for smugness.”
“Smug…er Snow is a thing of the past.” so says Gore et al. Consider this:
Somewhere in Swiss Alps. Why oh why do we keep believing these guys.
I think that’s it for today:
Two songs today: Cranberries Delores Riordan passed away a few days ago. Watch Zombie and Dreams. For some reason I can no longer paste music video into my blog. Go to You tube and type in Canberries.
Read ya Monday. Have a great weekend.
SJ………………………………………..Out.

Lisa-Lisah

HELP!……………………Pure Arrogance:

Lisa Helps, current Mayor of Victoria, is going to run again. Why? To save the planet from ourselves, that’s why.  We have to get rid of these hard lefties. They’re so damn righteous and arrogant!

Today’s headline in our city’s daily rag: Weird looking bird comes in from the cold. What, it never gets cold here guys. Plus 8C Are you kidding me? Now this is cold Victorians!

Image result for Really Cold PeopleAlso just in from Victoria, BC. Long awaited replacement for the iconic but really, really ugly Blue Bridge, which used to be black, and full of controversy in getting built. New bridge will have a blue hue at night with fish friendly accent lights! Ooooooo! How do they know that? But will the bridge work. “Don’t know,” a city official said. The steel used on this bridge was manu-fractured in China. The steel failed the quality assurance test twice. “Not too worry…move on” another city official remarked. “No story here.” I for one will avoid that bridge at all costs and if I do have to cross it I will say a prayer to the bridge gods before I go over it. Remember the Ellice Street Bridge disaster Victoria of 1895. “Yes  but when that sucker goes down the fishies will be able to see it coming down so it will not hurt the fishies and we’ll be able to find it, the bridge span that is, under water due to those lights…..Geesh, and we elected these guys and gals!

This just in: The UN IPCC states categorically that 2017 was the hottest year on record. Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and others nod in total agreement. Even Oprah agrees:

Image result for pics of oprah and weinstein

See, even that perv Harv agrees with Oprah! Hey, the UN is all-inclusive isn’t it?

Oxymoron statement of the week: Going on a vacation in North Korea.  It was a wonderful experience. What surprised you the most one tourist was asked. “Oh, the hats of course.”

Slide 14 of 22: <p>“We were allowed to meet ‘locals’ on set occasions (co-op farms, a school and so on) and it was probably all staged. I found it weird thinking that often just out of sight there could be a prison camp: some are the size of entire counties and close to Pyongyang but when you’re in a tour group you follow a very set route. When you’re in hotels at night you’re not allowed to leave.”</p>“Yeah, and its all-inclusive.” another tourist remarked. “And the food is to die for:”

Image result for poor pics of north korea

This just in: A form of that same (Ontario) ideologically based sex-ed called SOGI 123, is being rolled out in BC. The SOGI curriculum, among other things, teaches that gender is fluid and not determined through biological sex – Says who? Just like in Ontario….to eight year old kids for heaven’s sake!  We have to rid ourselves of this progressiveness and soon before all of our values are undermined and destroyed by this hard-core ideology being pushed down the throats of our children in our schools. C’mon teachers, get back to our core teaching values, as in the new math:

1 + 1 = 11…..;or…..2 + 2 = 22  C’mon now.

 

Song for the day:

Sad Lisa

Have a terrific Thursday:

 

SJ………………………………………Out

 

 

 

 

 

 

Call of Nature Redux

From the obviousness file

Rapper, er sorry, Clapper denounces Trump’s Arizona speech as scary. No it’s scary having a name like that.

Crapper made his obvious comments on CNN, which will be covered by the Washington Post and New York Times, all known supporters of Trump! Crapper got really excited by Trump’s racist comments “about the need for unity and inclusion.” Yup, downright scary. No this is scary:

Image result for antifa riots“What a riot man!” Antifa coming to a neighbourhood near you.

Or this from last fall:

The Left’s Sunday picnic at Berkeley. It was a BYOB, “Bring Your Own Bombs” affair. Hell of a party. The bar was kept pretty busy. “Everyone wants a Molotov Cocktail these days.” A volunteer worker was heard to say.  “I ran out of olives pretty quickly and at an event like this Black Olives really do matter.”

When kids are left alone with dad! Love it! (c/o twitter / facebook)

Slide 16 of 30: When a love of motorcycles is passed from father to son.

Success of future MARS mission dependant upon astronauts urine and CO2 emissions. I thought CO2 was poison man. Say what? And shit for fertilizer! They are going to call the first MARS expedition “The Call of Nature.”

Beach goers in a state of fearful frenzy as shark devours a seal. “Where is PETA when you need them?” One vegan on the beach was heard to say. “Gawd this can’t be right.” In response another was heard to say that “this is nothing but the call of nature.”

Cannabis not really effective against pain and PTSD, new study shows. They tried to treat patients suffering from chronic pain and PTSD with cannabis but couldn’t wake them up to determine efficacy. “Well, if you want to sleep all day then I guess it is okay for that,” a prominent researcher, Dr. Walter White, who wanted to remain anonymous, stated.

An Asian ESPN Sports announcer by the name of Robert Lee pulled from doing the play by play at a UVA football game. On another note an Asian entrepreneur who owns a string of Chinese restaurants was forced to change the name. “Holy Chow” was considered too religious for some patrons to stomach. He changed the name to “Holy Cow.” It is expected that PETA may have something to say about this new branding scheme. Meanwhile sales of his food chain skyrocketing in India.

CNN calls Trump demented, sexist, racist, a Nazi – “is there anything else in the lexicon that we can use?” Wolf was heard to say. I’ll let their own words speak for itself.

Trump sending troops to Afghanistan. New mission and aim. Destroy ISIS and terrorists. Kill them! No more pussy footing around. A prominent Canadian who wants to remain anonymous, wearing his new black and white socks, became outraged when he heard this new directive coming from the White House.

Some of my latest least favourites:

Least favourite colour……………………… Green
Least favourite word………………………… Transparency
Least favourite food…………………………..Tofu
Least favourite song…………………………..Imagine.
Least favourite team…………………………. Leafs
Least favourite French expression…………..Je suis (insert whatever here)

That’s about it for today

Song of the day. Yup, Badfinger again.

https://youtu.be/yDfH5j0o5hk

SJ…………………………………….Out

 

 

 

Dear Davos

In keeping With Justin’s trip to Davos and his presentation to the World Economic Forum:

But first Justin’s new math: New ancient Math tablet discovered. Will change everything we thought we knew about new Math.

The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York.         1 + 1 = 3…Yikes

On another note: Province’s education minister calling out those parents who complain about the math program as suffering from”Mathaphobia.”  “They will be dealt with” hey/zey and zir announced.

Trudeau’s Speechwriter at Davos?. “I don’t need no teleprompter.” Trudeau was heard to say!

Image result for embarrasing pics of trudeau Trudeau’s Economic Policy. Trudeau remarked: “It’s just too complicated for ordinary Canadians to understand. It all boils down to four words: F%$K the Middle Class.

Or this:

 

Image result for embarrassinf pics of trudeau

Finally, on Terrorism:

Image result for embarrasing pics of trudeau      “Just like me!”

On Foreign Policy, Justin was equally profound:

“Canada’s foreign policy is all foreign to me Fare!”

Other important stuff:

Nafta and Canada. “Naf said,” McKenna, Canada’s Climate Barbie announces in her down homer accent.  “Ta!, Bye, Bye.”

 

At a recent press conference, Justin Trudeau called U.S.-based Haitians entering Quebec “irregular” immigrants, as opposed to illegal ones, even though they are illegal.

On another note, and following Trudeau’s comments, a Canadian government official, Ahmed Hussein er Hussen, the “Minister for Illegal Immigration,” who wishes to remain anonymous, says that Keopectate will be issued to all new illegals, er irregulars. Trudeau then left for his latest round of international meetings and important discussions with foreign leaders and Heads of State.

“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”

Image result for pictures of justin trudeau and merkel

“Hey Mutti, I just passed Ontario’s sex education program.”

“Wonderbra Justin. I’m so excited.”

Continuing on in the Badfinger vein:

https://youtu.be/tKbsvha5Ehw

 

 

SJ…………………………………………….Out

Nuts Over Nutella

Thus just in: Nutella riots sparked across France.

“They are like animals,” one customer at the Rive-de-Gier supermarket in central France told LeProgres, according to The Local France. “A woman had her hair pulled, an elderly lady took a box on her head, another had a bloody hand. It was horrible.” Haven’t seen anything like this since, since, since??? Macron’s wedding!”

Meanwhile a huge spike in dental visits has been recorded all across France. “Mon Dieu” someone was heard to say. In response the Trump administration issued a travel warning – stay well clear of France.

Here I thought the Swiss invented Nutella but it was the Italians. “Mama Mia!”

 

Cold weather is a relative thing  (Courtesy of Maggie’s Farm)

60 above zero:
Californians and Arizonians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

50 above zero:

Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.

10 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

Sooo true.

 

From the Moonbat State comes this: California to state that Coffee presents a Cancer Risk. Bacon and Eggs and sausages cause climate change. All those Alligators out there shook their heads in response.

Doritos has come to the top of the list on California’s Food Guide. Gerry Brown the Governor of California, in response, will have Doritos for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner – to save the planet.

Not to be outdone: Chelsea Clinton says Women’s Reproductive Health Rights Are Connected to Climate Change and those really, really bad horny males out there. All the Alligators nodded in agreement (see Friday’s post).

This just in from Michael Moore:

Image result for Pics of Michael Moore

“Donald J. Trump has proven himself to be completely unfit for office, a threat to our country, and an imminent danger to the world. He is not well; he is a malignant narcissist and an active sociopath. And because he holds the codes to fire nuclear weapons, he is a singular threat to humanity,” he said, as he sucked back on one of his many Harvey Wallbangers!  I am so fed up I am going out to California and hang out with my buds (shown above)!

Another Ontario PC leader resigns due to sexual allegations. This is becoming so yesterday. Politics is a very dirty business. Funny all of this occurring 4 months prior to an erection…er election. Wynne must be beside herself with glee here. Sexual allegations? The gift that keeps on giving to my male opponents – she was heard to remark.

Canada will extend their CF 18s to 2032 and beyond. 50 years old. To go along with the 100 year old Sea Kings, 50 year old warships and never to be delivered Joint Support Ships and Arctic Operating Vessels. “Hey you voted Liberal didn’t you?” – the Defence Minister was heard to say, in between laughter. He then unveiled Canada’s new uniform:

Image result for Civil War Soldier

And Canada’s New Order of Battle:

Navy: We ordered 20 of these beauties – if we can find the blueprints!

Image result for pics of old warships

Air Force: 100 of these babies.

Image result for pics of old airplanes

Army: We can get these harbingers of death real cheap:

Image result for pics of old tanks

“I am soooo happy and excited.” The minister was heard to remark.

 

Song of the day in keeping with my interest in the 1970s band “Badfinger.”

“Lonely You”

 

Happy Monday.

 

SJ…………………………………………Out.