Doctor: “I am happy to tell you that you do not have Covid 19.”
Patient: “Whew, thank god for that.”
Doctor: “But you do have stage 4 lung cancer.”
Patient: “Yeah, but no Covid Doctor. You had me worried there for a minute.”
Canada is now the worst country in the world for lockdowns. And the rates of Covid continue to climb. Flatten the curve with more lockdowns. Keep on doing the same thing and expect a different result.
Why I would never recommend university to anyone:
Penn State Nixes Labels Such As ‘Freshman,’ ‘Junior,’ ‘Senior,’ and other words Citing Lack Of Gender Inclusivity.
Warning: Liberal-speak…inbound:
“I feel the need to continue wearing my mask outside even though I’m fully vaccinated because the inconvenience of having to wear a mask is more than worth it to have people not think I’m a conservative.”
Gee, I did not know that masks were partisan.
The vaccination must be good if the government is forcing you to take it. 50% of US CDC employees and 40% of US Marines refuse to take the vaccine.
CNN ratings fall like a stone. Boy do they ever miss Trump.
Covid sanity. In the US:
“I will not frequent any restaurant, grocery store or other establishment that requires masks if there is a competitor within a one hour drive that does not do so. I am sure most others feel the same way. Let us leave the mask horror behind, as rapidly as possible. Let’s throw our masks into the fire and forget we ever wore them.”
Meanwhile:
Oh but we Canadians are so smug, and superior, don’t ya know. This from a well known Canadian journalist (if there ever was one in Canada):
“Unlike the United States,” he wrote last March, “Canadians are lining up obediently to follow the instructions of their “calm, competent and professional” leaders. “Canadians accept big government, which is how we built the social welfare state. Two-thirds of us voted for progressives last year. We defer to authority.”
Yes we do:
Our calm, professional, and competent Canadian leadership:
And that is why Virginia, as other countries are opening up, Canada has the worst lockdown record in the entire world and remains so. Because we know better. We are so much better and of superior intellect than those dastardly Americans – don’t ya know.
Now where is my six pack of Molson’s and remote control Virginia. Hockey night in Canada is about to come on. Pass the Doritos.
Gwyneth Paltrow broke down and ate bread during the quarantine. Shame. For shame.
Open thread: the pandemic dragged even celebrities down so how were the rest of us mortals meant to hold it together?
These days everyone seems to have an opinion…geesh.
Even after everyone is vaccinated with one dose for an 85% efficacy rate, Toronto cancels everything this summer. Remember when the buzzword was to flatten the curve? These guys have no clue. Of course Covid will still be around but it will not make you really, really sick or kill you. So says the experts. So why the lockdown?
Yet they tell us that the stay at home order now extends to 02 June in order for us to have a normal summer. What? You just cancelled everything. Is it true then that the right hand knows not what the left hand is doing? It would appear so.
Same in BC. They keep dangling the carrot in front of us. Strict measures will remain in place until May 24. We all know that is BS and that the measures will be extended until 01 July, even after all of us have been vaccinated with the first dose.
Yet with everything they, our government, is doing and the cases still remain steady or are rising.
All together now. But, but. We are all in this together.
On the bright side, in spite of all of the deaths expected due to Covid, the murder rate in Toronto is expected to drop considerably with the cancellation of all fun filled activities. Whew! Thank god for that.
Cancel fun? Why not.
You have no rights. So what happens after we all receive the second dose? Hmmm? Flatten the curve again?…Geesh.
Time to move to Texas or Florida, or South Dakota.
Why did I get vaccinated if I will still have to wear a mask indoors and outdoors? What is going on here? Do they even know what they are saying anymore? Scare the beejeezus out of us. We’re all going to die. Yes we are. That is life.
New age logic:
” If you Hamas attack me I will defend myself. Unless you are Israel of course. Then it is a crime against humanity.”
I will no longer vote. Why? I do not want to be culpable in any way shape of form to a government of any stripe that is intent on destroying our country.
You know, I hate to say this but I pine for the good ole Climate Change “the world is going to end” days. I miss Greta.
One of Paul McCartney’s sugar induced spewed vomit of a song:
In light of Trudeau's "one dose summer" statement, I asked the Health Minister by what date every Canadian who wants one, can expect to have access to both doses of vaccine and / or become fully vaccinated. (Note that September is no longer in the Minister's talking points). pic.twitter.com/uPinpjsclP
— Michelle Rempel Garner (@MichelleRempel) May 11, 2021
Why oh why can’t she, Hadju, answer the effin question. I want to know when I can expect the second dose. Enquiring people want to know.
This is why I can never ever be part of the electoral process anymore. These elected politicians are so arrogant. It is disgusting. I don’t care and I’m not taking it anymore!
“Network” came out in 1976. Prophetic? You bet.
Warning: liberal speak…inbound:
Canada’s Chief Medical Officer had this to say recently: “Theresa Tam, our chief medical technocrat, said well yes, vaccines sort of work but who really knows?” Just like our Liberal government run by Trudeau.
Warning: more liberal speak…inbound:
Trudeau says family, friend BBQs can happen this summer — with a caveat. They must all be Liberal.
Think about this for a moment. A time today when the absurd appears to be normal. The Twilight Zone was prophetic:
A group of people were charged for riding in a car together last week after they were found breaking Ontario’s stay-at-home order.
One thing that this pandemic has taught me: your individual personal freedoms are an illusion. Anyone, anyone, can become “Big Brother” in an instant. Now I understand how the German people fell in for someone like Hitler. Well, that could not happen here, could it?
Oh, it couldn’t???
Canadians: we’re so smug.
White priveledged thought is racist thought. Black priveledged thought is not. Confused yet? I am. In Canada systemic racism means never having to say you’re sorry…to anyone anymore. Oh, and whitey unilingual Anglos need not apply for any federal government jobs.
A psychologist says parents of ‘exceptionally resilient and successful’ kids always do these 7 things. And sleeping in till noon ain’t one of them.
Social media is anything but social. I am no longer part of it. Decoupled Alexa as well. I do not shop Amazon or use google, facebook…nada…so there.
Celine Dion is returning to Vegas. Thanks for the warning.
First world problem: Grimes (???who??) Reveals She Was Hospitalized For A Panic Attack After Her ‘SNL’ Cameo…poor thing.
After a couple of bends to the right, right again and then left, Nina motioned me to row toward a clearing that she saw on the left bank of the river. This I did but in the blind as my back was to our course upriver her direction. Giggling, then laughing, as our little dinghy came to rest up on to a small red sandy strip. I got out, then Nina and we pulled the dinghy to a safe berth out of the water and on to dry land. I tied it off to the trunk of a palm, the shaft of which was bent out then up and over the river. There was a small clearing that was perfect for us to sit, lay and relax under the warmth of the late afternoon tropical sun. Beside me Nina lay, stretched out, her eyes closed with a broad smile of contentment and happiness that could be discerned by the features of her youthful face. The soft light of the afternoon sun highlighted her natural tan. To me, she was perfect. A real Hawaiian Princess.
“What?” she opened her eyes and looked at me above her studying her every feature. Embarrassed, I turned away and couched my head into the crux of my left arm.
“Nothing Nina. Just thinking. It is so peaceful here…so beautiful.”
“Mmmm, yes it is.” she moaned, as if she was caught within the confusion of a conscious thought and unconscious sleep.
I got up and walked over to the river bank. Looked around. To my right there was what appeared to be a weathered path that followed the course of the river.
“Nina, get up, let’s follow this path here and see where it goes.”
Nina stretched her arms high above her head with clasped hands and intertwined fingers. She then gasped, shook the late afternoon tiredness from her being and came over and joined me. Together we began to walk that path.
After about thirty minutes we could hear a light whooshing, rumbling, splashing sound ahead of us. We looked at one another without making a sound. Could this be the sound of a Hawaiian legend? Of Pele looking out for her lover? Who knows? But in an instant the landscape ahead of us opened up to this large, wonderful vista. The Wailua river transformed itself into a cascading freefall over a cliff that was just to the left of our pathway. Not very big mind you but big enough to form a beautiful waterfall. Whooo-ee Nina screamed then ran ahead of me, like a child…down but not terribly so to a flat land at the bottom of the cliff. I followed suit but my cautious nature had me tread gingerly down the path. It was slippery after all. It didn’t matter to Nina. At the bottom, with the waterfall to our left was a large pool that captured the cascade above us. The water was an emerald green colour but graced with a bluish turquoise hue. A rainbow, a perpetual beautiful rainbow, with all of the colours, hung magically and perpendicularly across the face of the fall, forming a perfect arc across the mist. Behind the sheen and veil you could make out the smooth, brownish grey rock face, the backbone of the hill that formed the cliff and the underbelly of the waterfall itself.
Nina screamed with delight. On some flat rock that framed the east side of the pool, she stripped down, naked to me.
“Oh Jimmy” she exclaimed “this is so wonderful, so magical, mystical, whoa–wee. I am so happy, so excited here. A gift. A gift to us from the Hawaiian gods Jimmy. Oh to my God…a gift to share with us. And with that she dove off of the rocks and into the pool. Her tanned bottom that last thing I saw. She surfaced a few yards out with her beautiful back behind me, then she turned toward me, and screamed…a happy, happy excitable and playful scream. Nina smiled such a broad smile. At this very moment in time, to me, she was perfect. And she was with me – thank you God for thinking about me.
I stripped as fast as I could, hobbling on one leg in my excitement to get my runners off. Then a short run and off I went. Into this magical pool of enchantment with a girl that I was beginning to fall for. A cannonball for heaven’s sake. I had a juvenile mind I must admit. The water was so fresh and clean especially after our salt water bath. Surfacing, I swam over to Nina but stayed a respectable distance away. Shyness was drowning me. I just stood there in one place treading water and watching her. Scared, but in a good way. Nervous. Nina disappeared below the water and then rose breaking the surface behind me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, turned me ever so gently toward her and then held me close, face to face, smiling at me. Her deep blue eyes drew me in to her as if I was caught in a barb and being reeled into a net. I had no control. The water around her, the waterfall, the rainbow colours, the mist, the mountains around us and the outflow of the cool refreshing water of the Wailua were nature’s aphrodisiac. I was trapped, nervous with anticipation and helpless all the same but willing and able. Nina drew me close to her. I could smell her sweet warm breath on my face. Closer and closer and closer to her. Suddenly her broad, almost comical smile and mischievous expression disappeared. She closed her eyes and drew me to her mouth: her arms and hands firmly placed behind my neck. We kissed – a long sweet embrace. I could feel the warmth of her breath and her nudeness all around me – envelop me, even with the cool ambient temperature of the pool. This was indeed paradise. If heaven is even close to this…..
“This is our heaven Jimmy.” she whispered to me. “Never forget this place of ours.”
She broke off, looked at me affectionately. We kissed again and again and again. I couldn’t get enough. Our naked bodies were synergistically joined. Her warmth stoked my body’s heat. I was happy, and excited and extremely happy. Nina likes me. I thought. I think I love her.
All at once Nina said.
“We have to go. It will be dark soon. Dusk in the tropics does not last long.”
Without saying a word we swam back to the rock ledge. Up I went, put on my trunks and tee and runners. Nina smiled mischievously at me.
“Turn around.” she ordered and smiled again. I complied.
“Okay, let’s go.”
Up the bank we went to the crest of the falls. Along the path back to the clearing. I don’t think I remembered that walk at all as I was lost in the romantic spell of the place. Kauai will always be to me the “Enchanted Isle.” All I could think about was Nina. A perfect day.
In short order we were back at Akaru-Hime. Good thing too as it was getting dark. Nigel and Angie had not yet returned from their excursion in Lihue.
I was famished. A couple of beers later and I was down for the count. I stole a glance from Nina from time to time but she was subdued. Lost in thought perhaps. Thinking of our afternoon together? Tired? Don’t know. Her body language and silence was confusing to me, as I felt she was a wee bit standoffish toward me which was a surprise given our time together. Yet, I took the positive side of things and reminisced to myself about our time together at the pool. I had that scene etched in my mind’s eye…forever. It would be some time before I fell asleep.
This song was a huge hit when I was in Hawaii 1974-74
Dr. Pepper, erm Dr Fauci, was behind some of the virus research at the Wuhan lab – or at least he knew what was going on there and has been implicated in the Wuhan Corona virus. So says Fox News.
Now Fauci wants us to wear seasonal mask for……………..for………….forever!
And the W.H.O. wants to get to the bottom of this. Who? The World Health Organization stupid. That oxymoronic organization who are in China’s back pocket, that’s WHO?
Gotta love this:
NBC cancels the Golden Globe awards for 2022. AWESOME. Next? The Oscars and hopefully the Grammy weirdos.
For me this is the last straw, or the straw that broke the camel’s back…or…
Helping our planet – one straw at a time. Timmy’s (Canada’s version of Dunkin Donuts) introduces paper straws. Reason is to save the health of the planet. Not us, the planet. Never mind that their products suck and are 99% sugar. Doesn’t matter Timmy’s, as we will be too fat to notice.
Unintended consequence: Sales are plummeting at Timmy’s:
Hey, but I am saving the planet…one butt at a time.
Gotta love this too, too….
All the money in the world cannot make you happy. Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing. “Never marry a computer nerd.” she was heard to say in passing.
Apparently….
Bridgitt Arnold, a spokeswoman for Mr. Gates, told The Times that her boss and sex fiend Jeffrey Epstein had met multiple times to discuss philanthropy… yeah right. “Bill Gates regrets ever meeting with Epstein and recognizes it was an error in judgment to do so,” Arnold said at the time.
When asked to comment he, Gates, could only say this: “ERROR 404.”
When pressed about this video Bill Gates could only say: ERROR 404.
Why is it that the millennials will listen to Bill Gates on just about anything but will not believe the actual science?? This from a guy who wants to inject gazillion amounts of dust into the atmosphere to block out the sun’s rays.
The madness of even being Bill Gates.
A Bill Gates world:
When asked about his vision for the future all Gates could say was:
“ERROR 404”
You know we’re screwed right? Canada’s debt load is the highest per capita in the western world. Tru-dough has increased Canada’s spending since Covid began to such an extent that our debt load and spending over the past 2 years is higher than the last 152 years combined. No matter.
Timmy’s is looking to hire Tru-dough as a consultant.
Unintended consequence in Canada: printing machine sales to the federal government soaring.
Joke of the year. The Liberals approve the Arctic Ice Breaker project. hahaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Job for life. Of course Quebec won a major portion of the contract.
SJ Note: I have to laugh as I worked on this project way back in 1988 when I was stationed at National Defense Headquarters.
Fact of life: Stephen Colbert is not funny.
Being good looking and popular doesn’t mean you are not as nutty as an O’Henry: Tom Cruise and his scientology science.
Saturday Night Live has been accused of cultural misappropriation. Really? I would have thought that they have been accused of not being funny. How on earth has SNL lasted so long. Well, like those never ending lineups at US amusement parks, Americans love “boring.” Have ya watched a Major League Baseball game lately?
What “Herd Immunity” looks like.
In Canada?
In Canada we also need “Turd Immunity:”
From our fearless leader. Turdeau!
Dear Shiva. Help me rid myself and Canada of Hazmat Singh.
