Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Music to My Ears

Words from “Where do the Children Play” From “Tea for the Tillerman,” Cat Stevens, 1970. A time when music meant something.

Will you make us laugh
Will you make us cry
Will you tell us when to live
Will you tell us when to die

Sound familiar? I think we’re just about there, don’t you?

There’s more to music than Taylor Swift or Gaga’s Poker Face you know. Check out Cat Steven’s “Father and Son.” Makes a grown man cry.

Other nonsense:

This just in from Ontario, Canada. Seems that the Premier’s new Math strategy is failing students miserably. Falling behind their own Provincial Standards. “Yeah, well these Grade 6 students know a great deal about oral sex you know.” said one parent. The Province’s sex ed program,which starts in Kindergarten, has been a great success.

On another note: Province’s teen pregnancy rates going through the glass ceilings.

On another, another note. “Yeah, well just lower the Standards Bar. That’ll solve the problem, “toute suite.”  Just like we did for our Province’s French spelling standard.

Oh yeah but: New ancient Math tablet discovered. Will change everything we thought we knew about the new Math.

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1 + 1 = 3…Yikes

On another, another, another note: Province’s education minister calling out those parents who complain about the math program as suffering from”Mathaphobia.”  “They will be dealt with” he, she and heyz announced.

At a recent press conference, Justin Trudeau called U.S.-based Haitians entering Quebec “irregular” immigrants, as opposed to illegal ones, even though they are illegal.

On another note, and following Trudeau’s comments, a Canadian government official, The “Minister for Illegal Immigration,” who wishes to remain anonymous, says that Keopectate will be issued to all new irregulars. Trudeau then left for his latest round of international meetings and important discussions with foreign leaders and Heads of State.

“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”

Image result for pictures of justin trudeau and merkel

“Hey Mutti, I just passed Ontario’s sex education program.”

“Wonderbra Justin. I’m so excited.”

 

Over and out…………………………..SJ

Polar Bears

Green police in Canada want to shut down any dissention dealing with climate change denial and deniers. They have gone to a government agency to force legitimate private individuals who question the reality of climate change from stating or saying anything that would go against the environmental narrative – misleading information about the real climate change dangers.

Image result for pics of polar bears in garbage dumps

Meanwhile the Greenies have just come out with a report that says that the Aurora Borealis is caused by climate change and is having a very serious impact on the health of Polar Bears. They can’t sleep. It seems that the northern lights keep the bears up all night. The situation is getting so bad that the bears are looking for relief in various garbage dumps strewn across the north. They are looking to the south for solutions.

Image result for adele penguins

It appears that the same problem exists for the South Pole’s Aurora Australius. Seems that the Southern Lights are preventing both the Adele and the Emperor Penguins from having a good nights sleep. Never mind that it is dark in both regions 8 months of the year. Climate Change proponents want to pipe in Adele’s music to rock these babies to sleep. No, says one environmentalist group, Friends of Adele Penguins, that would only exacerbate the problem. They would go nuts, maybe turn gay, just like the two above.

 

From the it’s so obvious file: Could the Ontario government actually lose money selling pot once Trudope legalizes it? Huh?, Huh,? Huh?, Eh? Eh?

 

Here’s something the Greenies don’t want you to see. Windmills in Evanston Saskatchewan burst into flames and start massive wildfire. Bats and brush be damned. The Greenies came back with the fact that everyone knows that we can all expect more of the same due to climate change. You got that right.

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San Diego has begun a program to wash down city streets of the downtown core due to a homeless outbreak of Hep A caused by public pooping. It seems that city officials are raising a stink about the whole matter. That in addition to the high levels of Flatulence that exists in the Moonbat State, as a result of the State’s new legislation that calls for people to hold their breaths for a minute of every 5 minutes to reduce CO2 levels. “Nothing is working” one legislator was heard to say.  While holding their breaths it would appear that they cannot hold their end trails. Shit happens. Yes it does. A major San Andreas fault event cannot come soon enough.

What goes around comes……Germany prepared to force Poland to pay huge fines if they do not take in more refugees. Poland refuses to do so and has initiated legal action to force Germany to pay over $1 Trillion for compensation for WW2 atrocities and destruction of the Polish nation. Mutti retreats to Munich and to her favourite haunt to think about her next move:

Image result for pics of Merkel and octoberfest

No, not her!

Image result for pics of Merkel and octoberfestImage result for Pics of Merkel at octoberfest

“That’s better. Now if only I could think like these guys to solve this problem. Love their hats. How I love a man in uniform!”

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Opening ceremony of the North Korean Oktoberfest… 14 September 2018! It will be a very long ceremony.

Has the NYT gone completely mad?…………………YES.

Libs sick of the alt Left are taking the so-called “Red Pill.” We want to feel Alt right in the morning, about things in general!

Latest Darwin Award candidate.

Oh for those simple, innocent days.

 

That’s all I wrote. See ya.

 

SJ………………Out

C’est La Vie

Hold your presses. This just in from Paris. Head-line News. What was he thinking?

Image result for pics of the eiffel tower

Billionaire diamond trader Ehud Arye Laniad’s pursuit of a plentiful penis has ended in his death.

The 65-year-old big wheel died of a heart attack at a private Paris hospital where he was undergoing a penis enlargement procedure.

It always seems to be that the guy with the biggest wheels always seems to have the smallest deals.

Reports say the Israeli-Belgian died on the operating table.

Belgian media report that Laniad was stricken when a substance was injected into his penis triggering his demise.

They tried to revive him but he went limp!

His company — Omega Diamonds — confirmed his death.

“Farewell to a visionary businessman. It is with great sadness that we confirm that our founder Ehud Arye Laniado has passed away,” the company said.

Visionary? Are you kidding me. Dude? You’re 65 for heaven sakes. Perhaps you were suffering from ED. No enlargement procedure will solve that!

You should have thought this one out with your head man….the one on top of your shoulders.

I think this guy is deserving of a Darwin Award. Don’t you?

And speaking of Darwin Awards. This just in from Europe as well:

Czech man killed by the lion he kept as a house pet. The man kinda has a dumb, bewildered look on his face doesn’t he?  Buddy that ain’t no house pet….THAT’S A FRIGGIN MONSTER.

Turns out the lion mistook his owner for Simba the other Lion King.

For his efforts the Czech man won this month’s Darwin Award.

Whoa is me. The end of the innocence

See the source imageChild abuse.

Girl Guides give their highest award to girl who organized a pro abortion event…..I’ll never, ever buy another cookie from them again. Wait a minute. I thought the Girl Guides merged with the Boy Scouts? What is their motto going to be now: “do a good turn every day” somehow doesn’t cut it anymore.

Boy Scouts responded with: “We can’t wait for the next sleepover.” Yeah, that’ll do it.

Is a Liberal / NDP merger in the cards?

Justin Trudeau wearing a suit and tie: NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh, left, and Liberal Leader and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, right.Let’s ask our expert on these matters.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..maybe!See the source image

I wonder if Elizabeth May, Justin Trudeau, Lisa Helps, Suzuki, Neil Young, Alexandra Occasionally Cortez But Generally Wacko, Bernie Sanders, Obama, Climate Barbie McKenna or YOU have seen this video:

The end of our innocence:

Have a great Navy day.

 

SJ………………………Out

The Sn-ow Flakes

Gotta love this:

Flake News: It’s only sn-ow! Owie.

Finally, a sense of humour (sic) in America. I am sure someone will be offended here, especially if the sn-ow is yellow!

And this is why politicians can never be trusted:

A day after telling a local New York television station, News 12 Westchester, “I’m not running, but I’m going to keep on working and speaking and standing up for what I believe,” Hillary Clinton seems to have had second thoughts. Someone (my guess is Hillary herself) told New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman that she, Clinton, didn’t really mean it.

Who me? You talking to me? Yeah you? Are you talking to me? I didn’t say that I wouldn’t run. It depends on what you mean by “I didn’t say.” I guess.

You don’t say……………Geesh.

Do you know your own countries history? Americans don’t seem to know theirs.

How do you spell hypocrite? A…O…C…B…G…W. Okay so I can’t spell but this video relates to Alexandra Occasionally Cortez But Generally Whacko’s hypocritical stance on the environment

She demands that we ban all fossil fuels. That would mean no cars, no airplanes, no plastics of any kind. Just like all of the other climate action warriors in “doing what I tell you to do and not in what I am doing.” A socialist’s take on Kennedy’s famous line: “ask not what you can do for your country but what your country can do for you.” A socialist’s dream come true.

Wake up people to this giant fraud and attack on our personal liberties.

Huh?? Climate Barbie, Canada’s climate change Czarina, is giving up “Lent” to fight climate change. Damn I always hated “Lent” as a Catholic kid. Bring on the chocolate bunnies.

More Canadian political slip-sliding: Kent Hehr, Liberal MP from Calgary is proud of Jody Wilson Rebound (sic) and believes her testimony to be true. He is proud to be a Liberal with Jody. Perhaps he is distancing himself from Justinian for the next erection due in the fall.

Interesting this coming from a guy who left the liberal cabinet in disgrace due to some alleged sexual inappropriateness. He didn’t want to embarrass his leader. Trudeau accepted his resignation but Hehr remains a strong and upright “member” of the liberal “caucus.” My, my, my how things change.

Trudeau, when asked if he was going to apologize to Canadians regarding the SNC Lavalin affair, gave this response:

“I am going to give an Inuit apology this afternoon.”

What on earth is an Inuit apology, as opposed to apologizing to all Canadians?

Perhaps it is something similar to this:

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Personally I am now beginning to believe this whole thing to be a setup. I do not like Trudeau but I think some of his cabinet are out to get him, force him to resign, nominate a new leader such as Jody Wilson Rebound (sic) who will win, and who will then become Canada’s next Prime Minister.  That is the dream of her father and that is my take on this whole “made up” scandal. I could be wrong and I probably am but I guess my cynicism is coming through.

Forgiveness….yes.

Have a great Navy day.

SJ……………………………..Out