According to the UK Press, this is the dish Kate Middleton loves to cook:
Yesss!
Beginning to like her more and more.
Another UK Nugget. Only the Brits could come up with a headline like this one:
It’s a male copper by the way! Love those Brit tabloids.
How’s that Climate Change thingy doing for ya? Remember that Alice Cooper song? No more winters, no more snow!
Toronto Ice Storm (almost May)
From the “It’s always someone else’s fault” file comes this:
With (Canadian) household debt now at a record 171 per cent of average annual disposable income, the country faces the risk of a much worse sort of housing downturn: The kind caused by defaulting borrowers, leading to financially troubled banks, and inevitably, a recession.
But hey, its the government’s fault. Look in the mirror buddy.
For all those Canadians in massive debt here is the “Joke of the week:”
The Jewish Tie Salesman
The Jewish Tie Salesman
A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack – selling ties.
The Taliban terrorist asked, “Do you have water?”
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”
The Taliban shouted hysterically, “Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment. I spit on your ties. I need water!
“Sorry, I have none, just ties – pure silk, and only $5.”
“Pahh! A curse on your ties! I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but . . . I must conserve my energy and find water!”
“Okay,” said the little old Jewish man. It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me,*or *that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go In Peace.”
Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away, over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped, “They won’t let me in without a tie!
Good one. We need more laughter in our lives…politically correct or not!
Love this!
What will weather patterns look like by the end of the century?
Went sailing yesterday. The forecast. Sunny with cloudy periods, winds light from the NE at 5 knots. What did we get? Cloudy, raining and winds up to 12 knots from the SE.
How do they know? Well they don’t as they can’t even predict the weather tomorrow. And what models do they use in their predictions? Why these of course:
Various methods of predicting and tracking weather have been used for thousands of years, but in recent times weather patterns have become increasingly indicative of climate change. The prediction: a future of extremes, ranging from droughts, heavy rainfall, and extensive heatwaves to longer growing seasons. Here are 20 ways scientists project the weather will change, worldwide, by the end of the 21st century.
Of course, all the usual suspects. And how do they know? They don’t. This climate model would be just as accurate:
It’s going to be foggy out there for sure. Or maybe this:
Or this:
Yup, that’ll do it.
Check out my book Kurofune. Just click on the link at the top right of this page.
It would seem that Canada has now adopted gender neutral honorifics (Mister, Miss. Missus) to appease less that 1% of the population. I am a Canadian but I am now embarrassed to state as such with this madness.
Hmmm, Which one should I use?
“What am I anyway? Am I a man? Oops can’t say that in Canada. Okay, am I a woman? Ooops can’t say that either. But I have to go. Shit happens you know and it doesn’t discriminate. Shit stinks whether you are a people (man) or a wo-people (woman).
“Sorry, but before you can go you have to tell us what you are. Are you a hey, a zey, a zir, a zee, a zitch, a bitch, a mitch or a titz? What is it?” a Service Canada spokesperson demanded before they would provide the key to the washroom. “Oh I know” I said. “I am a Neanderthal so I’ll just go right here. After all divershity is my strength.” And the pants, or skirt (can’t say that) came down right there and then as a large load came onto the floor.
“Hey” a spokes-people (spokesman) yelled, while looking at the pile of shit that was now on the floor of the orifice. “You have to say skants, as pants or skirt is too gender specific and is forbidden to say while in our orifices”
Okay, so when do I get my pension cheque anyway?” and by the way, can I refer to you as an ass-hole. That is gender neutral as we all have one don’t we?” the client smirked as he left the government orifice (can’t say office in Canada as it could be construed as gender specific). Everyone has an orifice now don’t they?
MADNESS! I WAN’T MY COUNTRY BACK….NOW!
Joke of the year: Russian presidential erections. Putin wins again. Of course he does. He is president for life. Anything else is just distraction.
And this just in:
It’s time to “warrior up,” stop polluting the planet and give water the same rights and protections as human beings. That’s the message Autumn Peltier, a 13-year-old Canadian, delivered personally to the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday. I am sure Service Canada will soon take this to heart!
“Many people don’t think water is alive or has a spirit,” she told the diplomats gathered in New York City in her speech on World Water Day. “My people believe this to be true.” “So do I. Water and Crown Royal is a really good mix. And, if you looked at water under a microscope you would never drink it again…ever!
“Our water deserves to be treated as human with human rights. We need to acknowledge our waters with personhood (you mean people-hood) so we can protect our waters,” Peltier said, her five-foot frame standing on a stool (??) behind the podium so she could reach the microphone. When your people start to do something about this, maybe I will begin to take you seriously.
I hate it when adults use children to push their activist agendas.
From the – it’s someone else’s fault file comes this (italics mine):
Deeply lamenting the loss of young Mark Anthony Conditt, (The Austin Bomber) the precocious (I’ll say) yet thoughtful go-getter with a penchant for politics (and bombs) city officials confirmed Thursday that the true Austin bomber was everyone who failed this sensitive, promising kid (really?). “What our investigation is attempting to determine is this: Who’s the real terrorist here? And all the evidence points to it being everyone who refused to recognize the brilliance existing deep inside this sensitive, socially concerned young man,”(so I’ll take it out on society as a whole and blow the shit out of them – so there!) said Austin Police Chief Brian Manley at a press conference, during which officials distributed a report listing multiple instances of the greater Austin community failing to nurture the vision and talent of the budding young (explosive) genius, an oversight at least as dangerous as the series of bombs that left two dead and several others injured last week. (Oversights do not kill people – people kill people). Everything we learned from his neighbors indicates that this undeniably special young man displayed all the classic signs of someone out to make his mark on this world (which he did in rather grand fashion) and that we did nothing to protect his future (or ours) is the biggest tragedy we’ve had in Texas for a long time (are you kidding me?). And the worst part is that we are, all of us, to blame for his loss.” (no we’re not). Manley refused to take questions, instead urging the people of Austin to question themselves after taking a long, hard look in the mirror. (“So put that in your pipe bomb and smoke it.”). The children are our future. Can’t wait)………………………Geeesh
Another shooting in France? Sad.
Just another misunderstood youth eh Manly (see Austin above)? It’s our fault. We didn’t look in the mirror as it was cracked. Quick, bring out the piano. Je suis Imagine!
Love this current liberal hypocrisy wrt their Canadian summer jobs program:
“To be eligible [for a grant], the core mandate of the organization must respect individual human rights in Canada, including the values underlying the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as well as other rights. These include reproductive rights (pro-lifers need not apply)and the right to be free from discrimination on the basis of sex, (which one?) religion,(Christians need not apply) race (as long as you’re not white), national or ethnic origin (older Canadians need not apply), colour,(colour blind?) mental or physical disability (I can’t work isn’t an excuse for this grant), sexual orientation (which one?) or gender identity or expression – (Zir, Zey, Zitch, Bitch, Hey, Jay).
I can honestly say that I never, ever got a summer job through any Canadian government sponsored job placement program.
Not feeling all that cheerful today, especially looking at this:
Is this my future? An electric chair for old farts like me? Checking out! And then I saw this:
Gee, and after all is said and done I can go out and have a game of this:
Too cruel.
Then I saw this and it made me laugh:
Workers busy at Stonehenge as they had to move the stones ahead one hour!
All is right in my world again.
So what else is going on? Oh the Canadian NDP’s Jagmeet Singh!
“He saw a country wracked by poverty, illiteracy & disease. So he lead (sic) a revolution that uplifted the lives of millions. RIP #FidelCastro,” Singh wrote, along with a picture of a young Castro.
So the CBC adds this:
Now, the character limit on Twitter back at the time was 140, so perhaps we should give Singh the benefit of the doubt and assume he would’ve added, “Oh, but Castro was also a tyrant who committed monstrous crimes against his own people” if only he had the 280 character limit of Twitter today.
But he didn’t CBC. You did. Would you have given the same benefit of the doubt to Harper? And what about his spelling? A leder who cannot spell properlie!
Looking at Jagmeet Singh got me to thinking. Maybe, just maybe there could be a correlation here. What do you think?
Or a new TV or Netflix production appropriately titled:
“Jag, Meet Singh”
Too funny. Should be a hit!
From living in a third world shit-hole comes this:
Canadian High Commissioner to Barbados Marie Legault raised the ire of Barbadian education minister Ronald Jones, who said in fiery terms Tuesday she should be recalled to Canada for suggesting the country is ready for a female prime minister — and, in his view, implying that citizens should vote for a change in government. Free speech anyone?
Or this:
Rio council member and vocal police critic Marielle Franco shot dead
And this:
“I will never go to Mexico again” Ontario man claims he was attacked, robbed in Playa Del Carmen.
Just another Saturday night in ole Me-kee-co I’m afraid.
To me travelling anywhere south of the San Diego / Tijuana border is the shits – both figuratively and literally. And always, always have a toilet close by.
That is my take on it. Canada, for all its warts and Prime Minister, ain’t so bad after all.
Song for the day. In honour of the timeless Stonehenge:
Let’s see what’s coming up. Oh yeah, this exciting sport:
See, even he agrees. He’s waving to his mom! Cute.
Cross Country Skiing. Such an exciting spectator sport. Don’t you agree:
Hey, wake up. Medal ceremony is about to begin.
How about this exciting display of physical prowess:
Making “Snow Angels” is going to become a winter games sport competition in 2022. Can’t wait. Or this latest offering from the Brits:
From their Directorate of Silly Walks. That’ll work…Gotta be fun.
We need characters here to lighten things up. Like good ole Eddy the Eagle:
Maybe this:
“Hey, bring the bobsled with ya next time…okay. Man oh man I have snow burn bad.”
Great games nonetheless.
What else is going on?
Trudeau and his Chief of Staff Gerald Butts thinks Canadians are fascist for daring to criticize Trudeau and his government. Fascist? Coming from our fearless leader. It’s a joke, just like this government Minister, Catherine McKenna, after this remark:
Like, Pyongyang is in South Korea? Oh Really! Me kenna thinks it is in North Korea Catherine. When queried she could only come back and say:
“Well, hey, after all it is 2018. Geography is hard you know. Just like the New Math, as in 2 + 2 = 22. C’mon….now move on.”
I don’t think many Canadians will be watching from Pyongyang. Just these dudes and dudesses:
이동 캐나다 이동 …(Go Canada Go)
The US is cutting taxes, eliminating regulations, and opening up more land for development. What are we doing? Well, Canada is implementing social justice based policies regarding major infrastructure and resource based projects that render Canada economically impotent. McKenna has just insisted that a Gender Based policy will over-ride the approval process in the construction of pipe-lines…… Say what! What does that mean?…..Well, perhaps this:
Oh Canada? You’re / we’re screwed.
After the Boushie verdict our Prime Minister denounces the Canadian justice system calling out the Judge, Jury and the system as a whole as racist. Contempt for our courts? Yet, not too long ago he upholds our justice system in awarding convicted terrorist Omar Khadr $10.5M bucks. Identity politics at its best, or worse.
Canadians should be appalled at what our so called leaders are doing to this country.
In keeping With Justin’s trip to Davos and his presentation to the World Economic Forum:
But first Justin’s new math: New ancient Math tablet discovered. Will change everything we thought we knew about new Math.
1 + 1 = 3…Yikes
On another note: Province’s education minister calling out those parents who complain about the math program as suffering from”Mathaphobia.” “They will be dealt with” hey/zey and zir announced.
Trudeau’s Speechwriter at Davos?. “I don’t need no teleprompter.” Trudeau was heard to say!
Trudeau’s Economic Policy. Trudeau remarked: “It’s just too complicated for ordinary Canadians to understand. It all boils down to four words: F%$K the Middle Class.
Or this:
Finally, on Terrorism:
“Just like me!”
On Foreign Policy, Justin was equally profound:
“Canada’s foreign policy is all foreign to me Fare!”
Other important stuff:
Nafta and Canada. “Naf said,” McKenna, Canada’s Climate Barbie announces in her down homer accent. “Ta!, Bye, Bye.”
At a recent press conference, Justin Trudeau called U.S.-based Haitians entering Quebec “irregular” immigrants, as opposed to illegal ones, even though they are illegal.
On another note, and following Trudeau’s comments, a Canadian government official, Ahmed Hussein er Hussen, the “Minister for Illegal Immigration,” who wishes to remain anonymous, says that Keopectate will be issued to all new illegals, er irregulars. Trudeau then left for his latest round of international meetings and important discussions with foreign leaders and Heads of State.
“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”
“Hey Mutti, I just passed Ontario’s sex education program.”
![a tree in the snow: Crews work to remove a fallen tree on Southwood Drive in Toronto during an ice storm that hit parts of Ontario on the weekend.]({"default":{"load":"default","w":"73","h":"48","src":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAvW2im.img?h=479&w=728&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f"},"size3column":{"load":"default","w":"62","h":"41","src":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAvW2im.img?h=411&w=624&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f"},"size2column":{"load":"default","w":"62","h":"41","src":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAvW2im.img?h=411&w=624&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f"}})
Hmmm, Which one should I use?
Gee, and after all is said and done I can go out and have a game of this:
Too cruel.
Or a new TV or Netflix production appropriately titled:
See, even he agrees. He’s waving to his mom! Cute.
From their Directorate of Silly Walks. That’ll work…Gotta be fun.
Maybe this:
“Hey, bring the bobsled with ya next time…okay. Man oh man I have snow burn bad.”
![The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York.]({"default":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAqG4RX.img?h=373&w=624&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f&x=636&y=294"} "The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbi... - UNSW/Andrew Kelly")
1 + 1 = 3…Yikes
Trudeau’s Economic Policy. Trudeau remarked: “It’s just too complicated for ordinary Canadians to understand. It all boils down to four words: F%$K the Middle Class.
“Just like me!”
“No Mum, this is the way to do the Macarena.”