Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Right Hand vs Left Hand.

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

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15,000 Canadian Casualties in two weeks in Oct / Nov 1917

 Me? I’m just waiting for the crash:

  • From the folks that brought you Driverless Cars comes this next bit of mumbo on the Jumbo. Pilotless planes: just think of the money we will save. Plus lower fares for the travelling public. But who is going to collect?
  • If you think insurance rates are insane now, just wait for it.
  • Y’know. I love driving.

Just saw a vid about all of the important stuff the Arab nations contributed to society……………..It was a very short video. But one Arab said it all honestly: “Arabs have nothing to give western civilization.” Well yes, one thing in particular that has caused many an explosive riot in the west and starts with the letter “T”………………………Geesh.

Also they are very good at urban renewal I hear.

Facebook sucks.

Google sucks.

Hey google believes in diversity, including diverse thought and critical thinking. Then goes out and fires one of its senior computer geeks for daring to voice an opinion about that very issue.

Wife asked me to go out and get a red onion. I did but it wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t red enough. “But its just an onion” I said. “Wars have been fought over less of an issue” she said. Same for celery, not green enough or cucumbers. “But they’re not firm enough.” she says. Freudian slip perhaps? “Hey you ask a guy to go out and get some produce for ya? You takes your chances.

Speaking of firm cucumbers. Just like those cucumbers in the EU. 250 different regulations about growing a cucumber that is straight. Curved ones are substandard. Too individualistic for the EU. Group Stinks, er Think I would tink! Tell that to every virile male out there! Oh wait, this is the EU isn’t it? I take that cucumber back.

Funeral home fined for using the same casket but not changing the linen. So, like, who cares anyway. The guy is dead. Bed bugs can’t compete with those other critters.

 

From the “I don’t give two Fu#ks category:” Rhianna fans blast Chris Brown for comments. What like “no talent.” And who is Rhianna? And who is Chris Brown?

 

Robert Mitchum’s witty comments. I have two acting styles: “with and without a horse.” Oh how I pine for those honest days when men were men and women were like: DiCaprio and Ruffelo.

 

Sinnead O’Connor……..sad!

This just in from Toronto: “No casinos, no casinos, no casinos. Read my lips – no casinos.”

“Um, Madame Premier, Mayor. Our budget shortfall this year will be a gazillion trillion.”

Heard today in passing at Queens’ Park and City Hall: Casino planned for Woodbine…..Geesh.

 

Our Liberal Government’s warped view of the world as hundreds of “refugees” flood into Montreal. We are a welcoming society Trudeau states. We welcome all Refugees but we want to protect all Canadians “Um, er sorry Emperor Justinian. Put your clothes back on for these people are not refugees. They are illegal immigrants jumping the queue because they don’t like Trump.” Full stop.

Just in. Illegal weapons flooding into Canada from the US!

Canada you say?…………..Shitty.  A place where the left hand has no idea or concept of what the right hand is doing, or vice versa.

I want my country back.

 

SJ……….out!

Hey Buddy Can You Spare a Dime

Passchendaele: Blood and Mud

May – Nov 19179 Canadians won the Victoria Cross during this Battle

 

Update. The Swiss Neanderthal man found on a Swiss glacier with cereal in his satchel… took scientists 5 years to come up with the notion that the man was eating Cheerio’s. It took me 5 minutes to come up with the theory that the Cheerio’s probably killed him!

 

Moonbat State’s Governor Jerry Brown unveils the state’s new energy program. He promised lots of “Brown Outs.” Hey that’s a racist comment some SJW was heard to say.

 

Chicago Tribune reports that an Ice Breaker transited the Northwest passage in record time. Of course climate change is to blame for this as in years past the ice would have ice blocked this feat. Hate to spoil the party here but Amundsen was blocked by ice in the Passage for 2 years in 1901 and 1902 in his Goa. In 1903 he made it through unscathed by any ice. The passage was found to be ice free that year and that my friends was in 1903. This is why I hold no credence whatsoever to Journalism these days. Misleading and deceitful. They do not check the facts.

Same with Katrina, often cited as the worst natural disaster in US history to progress the climate change “we’re all going to die” narrative. Sorry, the 1900 Galveston Hurricane was the worst natural disaster in US history. Check it out.

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Another bit of Journalism fluff. Each year here on Bancouver Island we experience a mini drought in that we receive very little rain, if any, from about mid June until September. This is caused by the establishment of a high pressure ridge that forms off the west coast of Washington State. This ridge deflects all of the Pacific storms to the north of us. The environ – mentals here always cry out….See, see, we are at ground zero in Climate Change! No we’re not. This is a common occurrence that even Sir James Douglas, the founder of the City of Victoria, lamented about in 1846. Check it out. By September the ridge generally collapses and the winter rains commence. Then it is…See, see we are at ground zero for Climate Change because of all the rain we get. No Virginia, it is called weather. The climate in this area remains Mediterranean in nature…warm dry summers and mild wet winters. Has been this way for 10,000 years, since the end of the last ice age.

 

From the world is going crazy file:

  • You can now buy a smart salt shaker called a Smalt – for 199 bucks. Why?
  • Construction of 25,000 chimneys 3 miles in height to fight climate change, make it rain and change desert into arable land?? Remember that Burt Lancaster movie…The Rainmaker? No? Watch it.
  • If the chimneys don’t work we will construct thousands and thousands of ugly 300 metre high wind turbines. Oh wait a minute.
  • Seagulls and other birds covered in oil………………….VERY BAD. Thousands of birds sliced and diced by wind turbines…………………………………………..?
  • 25% of meat tested in Canada found traces of mystery meat not labelled. Oh you mean SPAM?

 

“Second Cup” sales rise since 2015 after losing ground to “First Cup”

 

Even the homeless beggars on the streets of Victoria have adapted to the times. Heard in passing…”Hey buddy, can you spare any Climate Change…Huh”

Beware of False Prophets

 

SJ……out. Happy Monday.

Raging Hormones!

Passchendaele: Hell on Earth

May – Nov 1917

But for them I have the freedom to write this blog. Lest we forget that we could easily lose our freedoms. We owe them a great deal.

 

Seems that A and W and other fast food joints have been misleading us by saying their products are hormone free and therefore far superior than their competition.

Of course they are. According to the FDA no product can come on the market for consumption having hormones. They have to be expunged by the animal’s natural expungement processes, i.e., shit and piss, prior to being slaughtered and processed for sale.

But I already knew that. No, they don’t have hormones as they say in their commercials but they still taste like shit….or sawdust, or cereal or (insert additive here). Oh the horror and the methane of it all.

 

Quote of the week: A lesson in obviousness: “Venezuela is the leftist model for a basket case.

 

Israeli Pizza shop owner fights off angry Palestinian customer with tray!

“I told ya no anchovies, damn it” and “no black olives” the Palestinian was heard to say.

“But Black Olives Matter” said the owner. Especially in a pizza joint!

 

Millennials do not support leftist ideology, according to a recent poll. Finally, the Boomer Generation’s summer of love turns sour. All of the world’s ills today can point to one seminal occurrence. Woodstock 1969!

 

New Zealand goes Full Monty in dealing with rabbits. Their Easter Egg hunts are for real but not for the eggs…for the rabbits. Mass execution of these furry cuddly rodents. Yes rats, if the rabbits are allowed to proliferate. Can you imagine this happening here in Victoria? Oh the horror of it all. Victoria, BC where rabbits come to die. Where dogs have more rights than humans. Of course New Zealand has sheep for brains. The cross breeding has been a huge success…..can I borrow your Wellies one farmer was heard to say to another.

 

NYC dog owners not getting their pets vaccinated for fear of their dogs getting autism. How on earth would one know? From a dog? Are you kidding me? Are you crazy??

I think these dog owners should be eradicated from the face of the earth. They definitely have shit for brains. See hormones and rabbit cull above.

 

We can solve Climate Change if everyone just eats beans rather than meat. Has anyone ever heard of Beano? Every imagined solution has unintended consequences. This just in: Flatulence noise levels soar in the Moonbat State….Geesh

 

Canadian NDP leadership hopefuls hate Israel and have stated (Not Angus) that they would implement measures to advocate the Palestinian cause and punish Israel. What is going on with Canada?

This just in:  Palestinian leader admitted to Israeli hospital for life saving surgery! There you have it.

 

 

SJ….out

 

 

 

 

Leap! How High?

Passchendaele or Third Battle of Ypres

May – Nov 1917.

Names of dead and missing are etched on the marble at Vimy Ridge, Canada’s memorial to the 61,000 Canadians killed or missing during the First World War

Three Ontario women end up in St John New Brunswick rather than St John’s Newfoundland. Honest mistake they said. But hey I am told that the new sex education in Ontario introduced by the gay premier is very progressive and reflects”the lay of the land” sort of, these three women were heard to say. Depending on how things go for them in St John NB, I couldn’t agree more.

The NDP’s Leap Manifesto or in more modern terms: V..E..N..E..Z..U..E..L..A

UN categorically states that their main aim in life is not the battle against climate change but to dismantle western civilization and capitalism. They want a World Governance model with the UN running the show. Using Venezuela as an example the UN will then tell us where to live, where to eat, what to eat, who to marry, how to fornicate, when to fornicate, what to wear, where to work, how to get around, when to shit, when to piss, when to die, how to die. When to fart, when to belch, what to say, how to say it and what to think…Well “Group Think” of course. People?….WAKE UP!

Although some would suggest that this is Utopia…NDP Leap Manifesto proponents comes to mind.

Feminist lambastes the movie Dunkirk. She objects to its maleness and of males celebrating maleness. Why can’t you just sit back and enjoy the film without always having to see between the lines? I know some feminists and they are very unhappy, angry people. Sad

Why can’t we just ignore these very stupid people and refuse to give them their platform of angst, intolerance and hate?

L.A. gets 2028 Summer Games. Whew, dodged a bullet there Canada. Stay out of it. Then again I’ll be dead by then so anything after 2028? Go for it.

Indian suicide rate increases due to rising temps and poor crop outflows. Climate Change to blame. Only problem is crop production has increased ten fold in India. They are making money and killing themselves to get in on the action. UN counters: “hide that stat. It doesn’t fit the narrative.”

This just in from CNN: Fareed Zakaria, CNN GPS host states categorically that: “Trump Won Because His Voters are Stupid, Racist, Misogynist, Gay-Hating Bigots…..” I think I’ll let his own words speak for himself.

Geesh!

 

 

SJ…..Out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straight Shooter

Passchendaele: May – Nov 1917

Battle in blood and mud.

Image may contain: one or more people and outdoor

Man gets arrested in Pakistan for being Canadian. I thought that Canada was where all Pakistani’s went to die.

Big holes in Russia spell disaster for the human race. Climate Change, Global Warming, Forest Fires in BC, western civilization’s depletion of good sperm counts, Scaramucci’s firing – take your pick as the end of the world is nigh.

Skeletor’s bro Scaramucci is out. It appears that “He Man” had second thoughts. Scaramucci?….You’re FIRED!

Peter Mansbridge of the CBC’s “The National” retired. Who will take his place? CBC…no one outside of the CBC gives two flying Fu*ks who will take his place.

Canadian Standards Association emits more carbon per day than most people emit in a lifetime. Yeah, but that’s okay as we buy carbon offsets so we are carbon neutral. This just in. Al Gore set to be the first environ-mental billionaire.

RCMP arrests some guy who is facing 113 charges related to credit card scam. 113 charges! Of course being Canada none of these charges will stick. One RCMP Officer named George Smith, who agreed to talk  to reporters anonymously, revealed a plea deal in that if he pleads guilty for failing to pay those parking tickets, we’ll drop the other 112 charges. Only in Canada you say…..shitty.

Big holes in Russia…continued. Plastic bottles are now considered a threat to the survival of mankind. Of course it is primarily those responsible goody two shoes environ-mentals who proliferate the use of plastic bottles for their water consumption needs. What to do? Oh wait a minute, those giant holes in Russian permafrost could provide the ultimate solution. Just throw the stuff down those holes – problem solved.

Just in from the Moonbat state. The lessening of criminal charges to reduce prison populations and become more of a compassionate place to live has failed. Violent crimes in LA is on the increase. California mass immigration is on the rise. Seems that the criminal element across the US is flocking to California, where if you do the crime you don’t have to do the time…Geesh!

I woke up today to a beautiful morning. I said to the wife: “Oh what a beautiful morning.” Ooops, can’t say that anymore as I will be deemed to be a weatherphobian, of climatephobian maniac. Oh the horror.

Why do we have to celebrate homosexuality with all these racist Pride celebrations. Can two men or two women procreate? Why do men have a certain appendage and women don’t? Am I missing something here? Be homosexual all you want just don’t shove the fact down my throat.

Whatever happened to heterosexual pride? Oh, I know. I’m homophobic for being straight……Geesh

The world has gone mad!

Just my thoughts today.

 

SJ……..Out.