Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Hey, It’s Thursday

Obviously, somebody over at CTV read my post yesterday. They commissioned a poll to the tune of:

“Is bad weather more prevalent today than in the past…” or something like that. Results! – overwhelmingly…NO. Who would have thunk.

 

SJWs now complaining that there are too many white male acts at rock concerts. Well, perhaps the others…suck. Who would you rather see, hear?  The Stones, the Who, or……………??? Hmmm? Hmmmm? Can’t think of anyone right now?

 

Canadian Indigenous MP demanding that the House of Commons provide translation services in French and English such that he can use his native language in the house. If he wins this argument, and he will, because this is Canada after all, we will truly have a “House of Babel” in Canada rather than a “House of Commons.: I say just let him prat on in his native language as nobody in the house is listening anyway.  Question Period, in reality, is “Nap Time.” Trudeau and his minions have really opened a Pandora’s Box here with respect to “Indian,” no wait, “Native,” no wait, “Aboriginal,” no wait, “First Nations,” no wait, “Indigenous Peoples” yesss! Before we do anything here guys and gals lets see if we can nail the name down of the nation we’re talking about.

 

Saudi Arabia deports 15,000 camels to Quatar as part of the dispute over there. 15,000 Camels? Are you kidding me.

Heard in passing….”Every Day is Hump Day” in Quatar

 

Warren Buffet comes to the rescue of Home Capital with much needed “Cheaper” Funding. Did anyone tell Warren about the value of the Canadian Dollar. We already have cheaper funding dude!

Its a Mad, Mad, Mad World

I love black olives but when I went to get my favourite pizza joint the other day they were out of them. Same for the Tapa Bar down the street a ways.

Damn says I. Black Olives Matter, damn it, especially in a Spanish Tapa Bar and on Pizza. The world is going mad me thinks.

All levels of gov’t don’t seen to give a damn about annual deficits and debt, so why should I?

Just in…State of Illinois declares Bankruptcy. In financial crisis mode. Trudeau, Wynne take note… Not to worry….sunny, sunny days – as the “Lighthouse” song goes.

Climate Change: back in the day, oh about 30-40 years ago, no one gave two shits about the weather, except that which occurs locally. If there was a typhoon in the Philippines we never heard about it. Tornadoes in Kansas…nope. Blizzards in Saskatchewan…niet. Heat wave in Europe…nada word. I just remember watching Dave Duval, CTV Toronto chalking the weather patterns on a clear Perspex by etching highs and lows and doing so backwards, but only for our city. Now that was incredible. Or Percy Saltzman at CBC flipping his piece of chalk after a whirlwind segment of scribbling the local weather patterns and their impact on my school commute the next day. Now? Well if it shits in Chicoutime we hear about it. If it pisses in Peoria, we know about it immediately. If its howling in Hanoi, yep, right on time. If its crapping in Cambodia, we smell it right away. If its freezing in Friesland, we shudder at the thought. No wonder everyone is stressed out about the weather, and the climate. Its global and it is being shoved down our collective throats. We’re all going to die!!!!Gawd, I feel a heat wave coming on. Hey Gladys, pass me a beer sweetie.

All of you environ-mentals out there. What would you rather have? A Shelby of a Prius?? Hmmm? Hmmm? Be honest now.

 

Just Thinkin*

“Hey Jay, Howzit goin eh?”                                             

“Hey George. Long time no read.”

“Bin here Jay. What’s going on these days?”

“Pretty quiet in Cyber-land George. Craziness has toned down somewhat. Weird and Whacky as well.

The Progs are at it though. Pretty bad case of THC going on.”

“THC Jay? Is it 420 day already? Oh yeah. Right! Here’s to all the stoners out there.”

“No, no, no George. Not THC as in “Weed” but as in Trump Hysteria Condition”

“Right.  How so?”

” The Dems and Progressives want to overturn erection results! Want Electoral Colleges to renege vote for Trump in December and solidly stand upright for Hillary”

“Why Jay?”

“To save Democracy George, of course……”

“I think I need a stiff drink Jay.”

“They also want to abolish the Electoral Colleges. Something that has been a part of their electoral process, their democracy since 1776.  Seems Founding Fathers had it all wrong. They didn’t heed Nostradamus’ warning.”

“Who?”

“Nostradamus George. Nostradamus. The French Prophet and toothsayer who lived in the 1500s.”

“He did Jay? Good Gawd. How’d he end up in 1776?”

“It would appear that Nostradamus predicted Trump’s win over Hillary.”

“They state that in Quatrane 10,666 Nostradamus wrote:

 “BUCINUM Hillary verberat.

LAPSUS pergit. Bill est saevire,

Fundamentum rimas,

In furorem sine comitiis.”

“Crikey Jay, speak English!”

“Sorry George. But I did take Latin for 5 years in high school. I was…veritably good at it.”

“Here it is, as translated, it means……………………..”Hillary got Trumped in Spades”

“Seems the Founding Fathers missed that bit of sagery during their “Bridge” break while writing the Constitution.”

“And from the “Play Dough” and “Safe Space” crowd George comes this bit of THC:”

 “GOP is the most dangerous organization in History.”

“Wow, worse than the 3rd Reich? Stalin’s Communism?…..The Brady Bunch Jay?”

 

“Oh, and COP 22 is going on. Or has just finished in Marrakech

“Marrakech, as in Africa’s Marrakech Jay? I thought the Cop’s 22nd Division was in, as in Toronto.

“No, no George. Not the Police Cops but as in Community of Parties COPs – as in Climate Change.”

“Canada sent 225 delegates to the Party.” Wow. Was it BYOB Jay?”

“How’d they get there Jay? By Camel?” Or the Marrakech Express?

“No, Camels can’t swim George. No, they all flew over from Ottawa.”

“In a hot air balloon Jay?”

“Good one George.”

“Heard in passing George that Ryerson students, when interviewed recently, and when asked, felt that Canadian Peacekeepers should be deployed to the nations of Karach and Wakonda to stop the insurrections there and to thwart further production of “Vibranium” (Rebel Media, 22 Nov 16)”

“The future of mankind George. Scary! I wonder if Nostradamus predicted this in his 10,667th unfinished Quatrane: 

“Alumni idiotae”

…………………….

University Superioria

…………………….

“Something about higher learning me thinks”

 

“Y’know George. Green used to be my favourite colour. But now? I hate anything and everything green. I even killed my lawn. It is now brown in colour. And, I hate that word sustainability, transparency and I also hate that linguistic combination of two simple words… a conjunction of a perposition….”as in”!!………….STOP IT!

Shakey Jay….out!

* Pic by Wikimedia

Weird and Whacky

Trump wins: I wonder if he is going to receive the Nobel Peace Prize in about two weeks time

Some famous action star promised to strap climate change deniers’ mouths to the tailpipe of his Hummer(!) to show them what this climate change pollution is really all about. Carbon Monoxide anyone? What a Hummer!

Off Canada’s west coast, a tugboat and barge with a load of fuel for, I would take it, remote First Nation communities in the north went aground near Bella Bella. All enviro-mental-ists now want a ban on all oil tankers off the west coast of Canada. Well that’s like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. There has never been an oil tanker incident off the west coast of Canada, ever, never, ever.  Say, what about tug and tows?

First Nation Veterans now want their own Remembrance Day ceremony, 08 Nov.  I thought all vets were Canadian vets?? That being the case I would want to see a Scottish Canadian Veterans Day – say to coincide with Robbie Burn’s day, 25 January. It’ll be kinda cold and chilly though for those wearing kilts!

EcoSexuals – those wanting to have sex with mother earth. Ejaculations in the mud, or by a waterfall with one’s self or with a partner. Kind of brings tree hugging to a whole new level. I kid you not! This movement is orgasmic they say.

More bats killed due to wind tower wacking than previously thought. I refer you to the Ecosexuals above.

Eeee Gads.

 

….Jay out

 

Baseball and Other Things

Hey Jay, what’s a shakin today?

Oh hello George. Not very much I am afraid to say. Can’t seem to find any craziness out there. Even with this erection coming…er election!

Did ya watch the game last night George?

What game Jay?

Cubs, y’know baseball? Historic win and all that? 1908.

Cable Guide said 1900, er 7pm Jay. 8 minutes for the anthem – wow. Who destroyed it?Mariah?

Never mind George, never mind.  All I can say is they, the Cubs, cut a 108 year old drought.

All in the name of Climate Change Jay?

Hey, why not George. They blame haemorrhoids on climate change so why not baseball droughts.  All I can say is that there is hope for the Leafs yet!

Go Sens Go!

Only problem I have with this series is that game went on for 4.5 hours for 10 innings. Sometimes I think the managers out-manage themselves and drag the game on.

I can remember the Detroit Tiger”s World Series win back in 1968. I think Denny McLean won 30 games for the Tigers that season. Mickey Loliches won 3 games during the series, with McClean winning one, game 6 I think. Now think of that? 3 games won by one pitcher. Never see that now because it’s all about the Managers, not the players George, the Managers.

Y’know, the average time for the average game back then was about 2.5 hours. Why? Well they have a rule in baseball that they rarely follow today where a pitcher has 20 seconds to throw the next pitch once the catcher has thrown the ball back to him.  And they didn’t scratch their nuts or scratch their assess as much back then as they do now. And…and the batters stayed within the box… or they were out.

One out, runner on third and what does the Cub’s manager call??? A bloody bunt! Or, yanking Jon Lester after 3 innings because an Indian hit a single off of him. In comes Chapman for the subsequent walk, then a double then a home run. Game is tied. I felt sorry for Chapman. Good thing the Cub’s bats didn’t have Blue Jays written all over them as they were able to rally in the 10th! Good win!

Sounds great Jay. So, anything else new and exciting?

Snow back east.

Already Jay!

Yup, in Ottawa and New Hampshire. Nothing like this seen since the 1960s, snow they say!

And in response to this crazy weather, the Canadian Government wants to get that Carbon Tax going.  Seems that Trudeau is going to reap what Harper snowed! I know, I know…groan.

Good one Jay, good one.

Oh and from the World is Flat crowd:

US Hurricane expert is wrong because he dared to state that severe storms such as hurricanes have been in decline in the US over the past 11 years. It doesn’t fit the narrative so the science is wrong and he’s no expert…so they say. And who are they? Well, they are the same folks who brought us the story about those university students who believe that witchcraft exists and provides mankind with a credible explanation for the natural world, as opposed to Newton, or Archimedes, as to why and how witches throw lightening bolts at each other. They’re pushing to make it an Olympic Sport I hear.

Oh and Archimedes works for Big Oil George. Remember that.

I know Jay, you keep mentioning that Archimedes guy.

I just can’t help it George. Stupidity breeds contempt.

Another timbit George from the Halls of Macademia nuts in that in Canada canoes are symbols of imperialism, colonialism and aggression.  Blame it on those dastardly Brits and their evil empire. You know: Magna Carta, rule of law and all that, what? Why would anyone pay good money to attend university these days is beyond me.

Does that go for canoodling as well Jay?

 

Shakey Jay…out