Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

War and Peace

Image result for pics of poppiesLest we forget. That religion of Peace……..NOT!

Slide 1 of 24: <p>It's been 16 years since the attacks of September 11, 2001. But for millions of Americans, haunting memories of that day are still fresh, and many lives were changed forever. </p><p> On 9/11, terrorists hijacked four planes and were able to crash two of them into the World Trade Center's twin towers in New York and one into the Pentagon.</p><p> The remaining jet crashed in Pennsylvania after passengers overpowered the hijackers.</p><p> A day that started out with clear blue skies ended with a mass of twisted, smoldering metal where the Twin Towers once stood, leaving 2,977 people dead in New York, Virginia, and Pennsylvania, along with the 19 hijackers.</p><p> September 11 happened almost two decades ago. One-quarter of Americans are too young to remember it. I have three kids who have no memory of it at all - they weren't born yet.</p><p> But we certainly don't want to forget, even as we get on with our lives and confront new challenges. So in memory of that day, here are 23 images that capture what no American should forget. And as someone living in New York City at the time, I can tell you what it was like to witness the tragedy as it unfolded.</p><p>Brittany Fowler contributed to a previous version of this story.</p>

VIMY Ridge Memorial: Commemorates battle for Vimy Ridge 09 April 1917. Canada’s baptism in fire and blood.

My Little ditty:

The Ridge

Reflection’s wise. Its true insight flies

Throughout our minds and forever binds us

To eternal life that is devoid of strife

Just peaceful thoughts, not restless, nor caught

Into that web of war to tread

Not normalcy! Pure madness bred our way to be

Yet as one we brand an ancestral land

As our spirits rise to embrace God’s sky

And shed away our fears.

–

Our thoughts of home as our mothers roam

Among our graves, their faces brave

To the sadness here of men with fear

Yet for our nation’s prayers we died out there

For a home sweet home, dear Canada

That knowledge bears a passion… flares

Within our hearts, to love; to shove

Our fears aside and run in stride

To get away from there

–

Over top we’d go in whistled throes

Then plunder us within gun sight foes

Such madness…crushed, our brothers flush

With abject fear with those guns so near

We’d pray in silence for our leader’s guidance

For in them we trust and as Canucks we thrust

So far ahead though we walked with dread

With the barrage we shudder, our blanket cover

Oh God we’re scared.

–

The earth it shakes… please mothers take us

Into your arms and away from harm

We’d fall in silence…no pride in violence

We looked ahead for behind ’s our dead

Their faces seared, no longer feared

Just a darkness now with thoughts that bow

To a light that’s gone, forever done

For now it seems our passion stream

Is ebbing some for our time has come

–

We fought for glory, each life a story

With silent breath we faced cruel death

Our youthful brash ‘gainst madness, crashed

Into the mud, the cold, the blood

That Ridge has been a horror scene

A Ridge that bears our lives and shares

Blood curdling chills, then silence… killed

And down we go with our cries now still

Just silent prayers to loved ones shared…so far from there

–

The death knell rings for our lives and brings

A peace you share from that Ridge out there

Is a peace we paved to our silent graves

And a peace we share in God’s love’s lair

We were men of arms, a brotherhood

Beyond that Ridge, your nationhood

With souls set free our spirits now see

Just peaceful lands and a national brand…your nation‘s free!

Yet horrendous loss this madness cost…Canadians!

–

Please…remember us

 

 

 

 

Grammar Lesson

Recently in the BC legislature, the INSOMNIA CURE — Green Party Leader Andrew Weaver blasted the NDP government in the house recently for “shocking, reckless indifference” — to the rules of grammar.

Debating a “minor corrections” bill that makes exactly what the title implies to a host of bills, he found one that correctly changes “whom” to “who.” But later on, in the Farm Practices Protection Act, a glaringly offensive “whom” was left untouched.

“Shame on the government for missing this,” he joked.

This exchange was heard in passing:

“Who?” Attorney General David Eby dove right into this.

“Of whom do you speak? No not whom, who you idiot. Don’t you know the difference? Who is a subject, whom is the object.”

“You are being objectionable.”

“Who? Me?” Eby retorted. “Listen the further and further you go down this rabbit hole the worse it will get.”

“Oh yeah, for who? For you or for him. Whom?”

“No you idiot you can’t say farther. You have to say further.”

“Says who?”

“No,no, no, not who, you have to say whom. Merriam says so”

“Whose Merriam?”

“No, no, no, its who’s Merriam”

“Yeah, just what I said: whose Merriam”

“And besides you can’t write its like that. Its should be it’s if thats what your saying?”

“You’re, not your.”

“What?” say Eby

“And besides you can’t say further down the rabbit hole. You have to say farther. Farther denotes distance, real distance. Further is metaphorical don’t you know. It is better to say farther in this case then further?”

“Says whom.”

“Says Webster.”

“Whose Webster?

“Who is Webster. Or who’s Webster. Not whose. Its better then that.”

“Then who. You can’t say then. You have to say than, comparatively speaking youse doorknob.”

“Whose calling me a doorknob. Who do you speak of.”

“Eee gads. Its wrong I tell you, its wrong.”

“Its or it’s. Than versus then. Further vs farther, who vs whom, who’s vs whose. Im going nuts.”

“I’m going nuts. Not Im going nuts, you hoser.”

“Whose calling me hoser.”

Gadszooks!

All of this while debating whose’s bill.

“Whose Bill? No bill you idiot. Shouldn’t that be who’s bill.”

“No you idiot. Bill Whoose. The Minister of Edumacation.”

 

All of the above reminds me just how difficult the English language can be, especially to someone learning it. Consider this:

Take the word “nit.” The Concise Oxford English Dictionary defines “nit” as a stupid person, a louse. Then add the letter “k” before the “n” and you have “knit.” Yet the word “nit” from the word “knit” is a whole different kettle of fish. And what is that anyway: a kettle of fish?

Now, let’s take the word “wit:” defined as someone with a sharp sense of humour, a player of words perhaps. As in “that man possesses wit. He has a sharp mind.” But then add the letter “t” before the “w” and you have “twit.” Or, combine the word “nit” with the word “wit” and you have a “nitwit.” But “nit” and “twit” together does not sound quite right – “nit-twit?”

Nonetheless, given that a “nit” is already defined as a stupid person, and “wit” is someone who has a sharp mind, then “nitwit” defiles all logic in a descriptive sense except perhaps to define someone who possesses a stupid “wit” – which in itself is oxymoronic. But “dimwit” already has that locked up. Yet what is really frustrating about the undercurrent of this word is that “dimwit” is the opposite of someone who has a sharp “wit.” So, that being the case, let’s call him or her a “blunt-sharp” person!

To make matters worse a “twit” could be someone who has a sharp “wit,” and is still a “nitwit” or a “dimwit.” So why can’t we call him or her a nit-twit? Or a “dim-twit”? The bottom line is that “nitwit” or “dimwit” sounds better. The other bottom line is that English words are just downright confusing without context and a shared understanding of the contextual environment we are communicating in.

Says who?

 

English grammar class is over for the day.

 

 

SJ……………..Out………………….Happy Mondaze to all youse people out there.

Barista, Weed and Other Things

Maldives? Well, what can be said. 67 more days:

Image result for madivesAll the seafood one could want.

Slide 1 of 11: <p>The epitome of elegance, the British royal family lives a life of opulence a commoner can barely fathom. Whether they were born in the spotlight or married into it, the well-heeled Brits have captivated the world for as long as anyone can remember.</p><p>The Mountbatten-Windsor clan resides in palaces, has personal staffers at their beck and call and regularly jets off to exotic locales. But in many ways, they’re just like regular people. They have bills, like to decorate for the holidays and like to dine out every so often. Take a look at how they spend their money, and <a href="https://www.gobankingrates.com/net-worth/rich-queen-elizabeth-rest-british-royal-family/">get a glimpse of the elite family’s financial state</a>.</p>“That was a good one Kate. Next time stay downwind of us will ya. Keep smiling or I’ll have to puke!”

Majority of Torontonians are now considered visible minorities. I am a Caucasian who grew up in Toronto and I now consider myself a visible minority. But why the visible label? Why not invisible. If you are a minority then no one can really see you if you are mixed up with a majority. But if you are part of a majority then how can you be labelled a minority. Huh? Huh?, Eh? Eh? The majority rules so they say and if you are the majority then you are visible, as the majority rules, not invisible like me, who is part of the invisible minority cause no one can see a white dude anymore, what with our white privilege etc, etc, etc. Only in Toronto you say. Thank F*&K for that. Lesson here? Stay well clear of big cities.

Well this is great:  A top UK official told the BBC last week that ISIS terrorists from the UK returning from Syria and Iraq will not be prosecuted. Instead, the government will try to reintegrate them back into society because they were “naive” when they joined the genocidal terrorist group. Yeah, let’s have a parade:

Image result for pics of isis “What’s the problem here guys? One was heard to say. “We are only getting ourselves ready for Guy Fawkes Day. By the way can someone tell us how to get to Whitehall?

Trump Derangement Syndrome: Anguished Liberals plan shout-out on the anniversary of Trump’s election. Yeah, we would much rather have these guys in charge. See, even the guy in the green sweater thinks this is funny.

Oh millennials hate being labelled as such. Too effin bad. Gov’t paid a firm $54K to find this out. Man of man, or woman, or zey, zir, zits or zat is too effin bad. This from a dude, me, who has borne the Baby Boomer label all of his life. Here’s the chart produced by Gov’t as only a Gov’t can do.

 

 

 

 

Hey, as a boomer I can relate to the couch but where’s the pic of the basement in all of this. “Want to be heard as we hate to listen. We’re socially responsible as long as we can get our weed cheap and legally. We want to participate – ANTIFA, BLM, SJW comes to mind and of course we all have Pride in all that we do. Yeah we’re tech natives and cry babies. We have the entrepreneurial spirit as long as we don’t have to listen to anybody, and we want experiences that take ourselves outside of our comfort zone – and that doesn’t mean taking the trash out. LISTEN TO US. It’s all about me, me, me, me, and more me.”

Oxymoron of the week: “Canadian Correctional Services.” The Grand Valley federal prison for women received its first male inmate last week, a 54-year-old man who is still a fully functional male who hasn’t yet undergone re-assignment surgery. Only in Canada. Get this: “She hadn’t violated any parole conditions, but began to “present as emotionally volatile,” a “behavioural deterioration which seems to have coincided with the start of hormone therapy,” CSC documents suggest, as only a government paid shrink could assess. Wonderful zey all agreed.

I can only cry file. Which industry creates the most wealth and reduces poverty in Canada? The resource sector! For those not familiar with this term resources equate to oil and gas exploration and extraction, lumber, mining, fishing etc – all activities that the NDP, Green and now Liberals want to discredit and eliminate from our national lexicon. Their solution. Baristas on every street corner and cheap weed. Keep the populace stoned all the time and they will be happy. But in all of this and by adopting the new math – something that I have shown many times on this blog – they have forgotten this simple equation:

Strong economy = good paying jobs = more taxes = more government revenue = more social services = higher standard of living = happy wife = happy life. Take any of those elements out and you have??????? ……. “The Maritime Provinces in Canada!”

In Toronto: Trick or Treat equates to dental floss, apples and free passes to the library. I hear that the sale of eggs to young people has increased ten fold in this progressive city in the days leading up to Halloween.

Darwin Award candidate of the year: “It’s been over a week since we learned the plight of Canadian Joshua Boyle and his American wife, Caitlin Coleman, allegedly kidnapped by the Taliban while enjoying a backpacking trip to Afghanistan. Why wouldn’t Boyle want to take his very pregnant wife backpacking in one of the most up-side down, gunned-up regimes in the world? What could possibly go wrong? 5 years as a hostage, that’s what (Rebel).

Image result for pics of boyle family taken hostage by taliban

Afghanistan National Park, welcoming committee.

Image result for pics of boyle family taken hostage by talibanHeard in pissing that they’re going to settle in Bountiful British Columbia. With that beard he will be a shoe-in. Not sure about her though. Poor kids – not shown here.

 

That’s all she wrote.

 

 

SJ………………………….out.

So Cool!

Maldives Redux: Wow:

Image result for maldives

See, they know. They’re not smiling about the UN’s report that the island nation will soon be a reef. Only 68 more days.

This just out came out. From Düsseldorf. 9.7 million year old tooth from an Ape-man found near Düsseldorf in an area where the Rhine used to flow. Wow. Dentists from all over the world went ape-shit over this one. Look at that gold crown someone remarked. Remarkable. Did they use floss in those days? Another asked. This is going to change dentistry in a way nobody thought.  “Alabaster crowns…sooo cool.” Another dental surgeon remarked as he was waffling down a banana!

636441811575604579-Screen-Shot-2017-10-21-at-11.12.15-AM.jpgAnd this after 17 years of “digging.” Are you kidding me? I mean all that drilling scraping to extract this thingy. I know dentistry can be expensive and complicated but this is ridiculous. My only hope is that this guy had a plan!

 

Quebec passes Bill 62 forcing public to uncover faces to give or receive services. The Federal NDP leader opposes the bill: “I think fundamentally, we can’t have the state tell people what to wear, what not to wear.” But this is okay:

NDP’s suggested “beta” uniform for all  new Federal government employees. “It would promote inclusiveness,” he was heard to say. Or these new uniforms for our military Officers:

Image result for pics of north korea army crazy hats

Of course it comes in white for our Navy and Sky Blue for our candy ass Air Farce. Trudeau would be so proud.

Speaking of Tur-dope:

“Yes, I have a dream. No more…….pipelines…..” Canada goes it alone with respect to Climate Change. “Yes, I know, many countries are abandoning Paris but we will stick it out. Even if it kills us. Because after all, we may not have a culture but we are smug. And besides these new houses that I have personally designed with the help of our First Lady, that’s my wife if you didn’t know, have a fantastic “R” rating and a very low carbon footprint.

Image result for Pics of igloosSo cool. And who says Canada doesn’t have a culture?

Trudeau now stands almost alone in sincere support of Paris. The populist backlash — a revulsion at top-down governments laden with jet-setting politicians landing in posh places to preach restraint to the masses — has swept America with Trump’s election, Great Britain with Brexit, much of Europe, and Australia. In the process, global warming enthusiasts are being swept out. Canada is an outlier, to date immune to this populist wave. To date, oblivious to the lessons learned elsewhere. (Laurence Solomon, NP).

Trudeau must have read an earlier post of mine where I recommended that he agree with everything with respect to climate change; sign everything, recommend everything, attend everything then come home and do……nothing. He will become the darling of the Jet Setting Carbon hating crowd.

Only in Canada eh?  A man has been cleared of raping his wife after a judge ruled that he did not know his behaviour was criminal in Canada. His defence was that during the period of the alleged incident, he had been told to abstain from sex after having a hair transplant. A bald ass lie the prosecutor screamed. He was overruled on several follicles, er points of law. The bald judge, feigning sympathy, ruled in his favour.

UN’s WHO names Robert Mugabe as their Goodwill Ambassador. Who? No Mugabe. Who? Robert Mugabe. Who’s on first? No Mugabe’s name came up first. No he’s on second. Good gawd are we still a member of this organization.

I told ya the new math discovery was rocking mathematical thought across Canada. Montreal Canadiens’ General Manager told the team’s fans not to fret about the team’s poor performance: “Listen, we are only into year 6 of our 5 year plan.” See even the NHL has adopted the new math: 3 + 2 = 6! Just like 1+1=3.  Fantastic! This changes everything.

Libs spent $54K for a study that came to this conclusive result: Millennials don’t like being called millennials. Are we in trouble financially? Or what’s his name’s on third! Speaking of finances. From the this is so obvious file: National Posts Andrew Coyne’s writes: Morneau (Canada’s Finance Minister) shows a critical lack of judgement…wow. He gets paid the big journalistic buck for that kind of enlightening insight

And from the Doritos File comes this: The Government of Ontario announces it will make buying pot very difficult. Yeah, just like booze, cigarettes, electricity, water, natural gas……….insurance……food.

 

That’s it for today.

 

SJ………………………….Out

 

The Evil Empire

Just 70 more days until the big event. Maldives gone forever:

maldives best resort places to stay 7 The Ultimate Maldives Gallery [30 pics]Hey, I hope they have lots of pumps. I hear they issue hip waders to all of their guests. How long can you tread water is part of a questionnaire all visitors have to fill out.

 

I just came across this in the Globe and Mail:

“Great Britain?!” she (her daughter) pouts accusingly. “Aren’t they the bad ones?”

Abigail’s life to date has been spent absorbing the endless lament of her adults over the injustices of European colonialism. Earlier that summer on a cross-Canada road trip, at what seemed like every historical site, I made a point of highlighting how the colonizing British had brought Indigenous culture to the edge of extinction with their foreign diseases, their land-grabbing policies and their culture-negating residential schools.

Thanks Trudeau and your post national bullshit status for this country:  I thought I would resurrect this from an earlier blog post:

Those Dastardly Brits and the Evil British Empire

Watching the Royals yesterday at their welcoming ceremony at the Victoria legislature got me to thinking of some of the hypocrisy of these visits with respect to certain elements of the welcoming committee. It wasn’t too long ago that the Mayor of Victoria and four of the city’s councillors refused to swear allegiance to the Queen. Irrelevant they suggested and the Mayor herself offered her support only to First Nations.

Huh, well hey, what about me??

In 2015 the Nanaimo city council cut off funding to the annual Empire Day’s organizing committee, unless they changed their name to something less offensive to First Nations. Oh I know: “Queen and Country Days”

“Times are changing,” said Nanaimo City Councillor Diane Brennan. “The term empire is hurtful. It’s a reminder of colonization and oppression of the indigenous people and it’s caused great suffering.”

Emmy Manson, a councillor with the local Snuneymuxw First Nation, agrees.

“I guess for me it triggers some old history that really isn’t positive for our people,” said Manson.

That history includes residential schools, loss of language and culture and displacement. (sorry to say but this had nothing to do with the Brits)
Manson said she and other Snuneymuxw people do not attend the event because of its connotation.

“I get why we celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday,” said Manson. “I think that’s what it ought to be called.” (CBC, 22 Jan 2015)

Well excuse me for a minute Ms Manson but Queen Victoria was the figurehead of that dastardly evil empire that triggers the micro-aggression you refer to.

My thoughts:

Taking the City of Nanaimo’s lead, perhaps now is the time to change the name of the Victoria Day celebrations to one that is less offensive to local First Nations. After all Queen Victoria, our city’s namesake, represents all that was bad about the British Empire: its colonialism, its trade, economic growth, rule of law, common law, security, individual rights and freedoms, civilization, Magna Carta, infrastructure, semblance of order and, of course, the poor treatment that First Nations people had to endure under the Victorian British brand – as opposed to – the continual inter-tribe warrior raids and inter-band savagery, discrimination and slavery.

Taking Nanaimo’s logic to its proper conclusion, I would suggest that now is also the time that we change the name of Victoria to Camosun, a name which better reflects our First Nation history and heritage. After all those dastardly Brits oversaw Nanaimo and Victoria for a full 17 years from 1853-1871 and 28 years from 1843-1871 respectively. The Canadian government has been responsible for things well after that. How well you may ask?? Well for about 150 years, that’s how well!

And well (sic) we are at it I would also suggest and strongly recommend that we change the name of Canada Day to something less offensive. After all the Canadian government, and not Great Britain, has governed Victoria and the Province of B.C., since 20 July, 1871. In that vein the Canadian government and not Great Britain represents: broken aboriginal promises and treaties; the reserve paradigm; repression of Metis during the  Red River / Northwest Rebellion (1870, 1885); the execution of Louis Riel and imprisonment and subsequent death of Poundmaker, Big Bear and many of their of his brethren;  residential schools; the Indian Act; the segregation and discrimination of Chinese immigrants in accordance with the Chinese Immigration and Exclusion Act(s); the sequester and internment of all Japanese Canadians after 1941; internment of Ukrainian and Italian Canadians; the refusal to allow refugees of Indian origin entry into Vancouver in 1914 (the Komagata Maru incident); the refusal to accept 900 Jewish refugees into Canada in 1939 (St Louis Incident), which probably ensured their imminent deaths under a Nazi regime; the Chinese Head Tax; the Duplessis Regime; the Orange Order’s anti Catholic movement and religious discrimination; refusal to recognize women as persons from 1867 – 1930; Africville and the segregation of blacks in eastern and central Canada until 1964; and, the Canadian government “black” list goes on and on. It’s all Trump’s fault!

Oh we can be so smug, can’t we?

How I hate hypocrisy!

By the way, at yesterday’s welcoming ceremony, the Governor General’s wife reminded me of a Leprechaun in that outfit she was wearing. The Prince’s Equerry seemed to be more of a hindrance than a help.
Will and Kat looked great. With George and Charlotte they make the perfect family. Hope they have a great time.

Note: I am not a rabid monarchist per se. Heck, I used to shoot spit balls from my pea shooter at the Queen’s picture when I was a kid in school. No, but I do respect our heritage and culture and the contributions made by the British over the years. And I do respect the Commonwealth of Nations, of which the Queen is the head of. You know, that august body of diverse countries and nations that share a common heritage of sorts. And to me that is a lot better than that farcical United Nations. It is something to embrace, not discard

 

So to that lady from East Vancouver – give your head a shake.  If Canadians could only be proud of their heritage and stop using hyphenated labels – Ukrainian Canadian, Italian Canadian, Greek Canadian, Mexican Canadian and on and on she goes. We’re all Canadians. If you’re not proud of that fact then go back to whatever shit hole country and shit hole culture turns you on.

I have travelled all over the world and what really bugs me more than anything else is seeing other Canadian travellers with their Canadian flags pasted over just about everything they carry and wear, as if to say. “Hey I am Canadian and you’re not!” But at home they dare not say that as it may bring out the thought police and heaven forbid, a human rights tribunal.

I am proud to be Canadian, and embrace my heritage, warts and all.

 

Serious today but some people just piss me off.

 

 

SJ…………………………….Out