Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Carbon Anyone?

According to the Liberals their proposed Carbon Tax is now a pollution tax. Pollution is bad so we have to get rid of Carbon – tout suite. Okay, given that carbon comprises 18% of human body mass I say go for it, get rid of it and let’s start by eradicating the PM and his entire cabinet. Surely McKenna, Canada’s Climate Barbie would be all for this.

Carbon…….bad………but necessary for the human body;

Carbon Monoxide………..bad………….it will kill you. And this from one of Holly’s Woody in the morning’s elite, Arnie:

“Speaking of greenhouse gas deniers: “Strap some conservative-thinking people to a tailpipe for an hour and then they will agree it’s a pollutant!”

Yeah, Arnold, Carbon Monoxide is deadly. It will kill you but it is not a greenhouse gas. Carbon Dioxide is. But Carbon Dioxide is essential for all life on earth, including yours. So take that and strap it to your tail pipe!

Carbon Dioxide…………….Great!

Have you ever heard of the “Eco Sexual Warriors!” These people take tree hugging to a whole new level.

Trudeau caucus meeting in Alberta: “Well we have reached the half way point of our mandate. You should all be proud of our accomplishments to date. We have done so much. Just look at what we have done.”……….there was dead silence in the room.

Antidepressants found in Great Lakes Fish. I didn’t know they were depressed to begin with!

California Moonbats congratulate North Korea for their “hydrogen bomb.” “Way to go Kimberly” they were wont to say. “Its about time.” A major San Andrea’s fault event can’t come soon enough, I would say to that.

“Irma” worst eva. Of course it is. And last week it was “Harvey.” And next week it will be something else. “Arnold” perhaps. Check this site out:

Hurricane Irma Is NOT the Most Powerful Atlantic Hurricane Ever Recorded… Part Deux

 

How about the Galveston Hurricane of 1900.

Library of Congress image of Galveston hurricane damageA few facts that the greenies fail to mention: “On September 8, 1900, a horrific hurricane slammed into the city. Wind speeds surpassed 135 miles per hour, making it a category 4 on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale.  Storm surges rose 15 feet and, within hours, estimates of 6,000 to 12,000 unwary people were killed and over 3,600 buildings were destroyed. The Galveston Hurricane remains the deadliest natural disaster in United States history.” ref: NOAA.

BTW Houston – we had a major flood problem back in 1935.

Canada’s David Suzuki lectures Canadians that the latest hurricanes, wild fires, droughts around the world is further proof of a wake up call to take action now on climate change. He says this from one of his five houses in the Province. No David, it is just the “Nature of Things.” Unfortunately for us here in Canada this guy will never fade away. Like a bad cough or incessant indigestion he is going to be around to spread his fake environmental news on the rest of us for a very long time to come.

Please Lord, we’ll give you Justin Trudeau, or maybe Suzuki, if you could only give us back Pearson. How can you take this guy seriously.

Oh, in case you didn’t know, Trudeau, Canada’s Prime Minister, is the guy in the middle.

 

Have a great weekend. Good luck to all Floridians.

 

SJ…………..out.

Perspectives

Perspectives

Theory is great
For theorists
Practicality is wonderful
For pragmatists
Social Network Analysis is super
For socialists
Barometers are necessary
For meteorologists
“Lurkers” are fair game
For psychiatrists
Tools are essential
For technologists
Collaboration is pervasive
For idealists
Cooperation is illusive
For realists
Open mindedness is amazing
For epistemologists

Communities are magnificent
For sociologists
Practice makes perfect
For perfectionists
Learning is intuitive
For academicists
Meaning is ephemeral
For illusionists
Experience is personal
For experientialists
Identity is private
For individualists
Interest is fantastic
For economists
Negotiation is meaningless
For confrontationalists
Diversity is great
For diversificationists
Militancy is wonderful
For pacifists

 

 

 

“So Trew, I Says”

I see one of Trudeau’s Liberal MP’s had to resign from the Liberal Caucus. Wants to clear his name and reputation while not spoiling or embarrassing the Liberal / Trudeau Brand. Sorry Mr Kang but Justin is doing that just fine without any help from you:

Key members of Trudeau’s Liberal Cockus

Trudeau’s Speechwriter. “I don’t need no teleprompter.” Trudeau was heard to say!

Image result for embarrasing pics of trudeau

 

Trudeau’s Economic Policy. Trudeau remarked: “It’s just too complicated for ordinary Canadians to understand. It all boils down to four words: F%$K the Middle Class.

Image result for embarrassinf pics of trudeau

 

Finally, on Foreign Policy:

Image result for embarrasing pics of trudeau “Just like me!”

“Policy is all foreign to me Fare!”

 

Other important stuff:

Nafta and Canada. “Naf said,” McKenna, Canada’s Climate Barbie announces in her down homer accent.  “Ta!, Bye, Bye.”

Heard in passing:

Dear Lord, please give us back Jim Morrison and we’ll give you Justin Bieber”   Check out:

Justin Bieber’s latest song just went to # 1 on the Billboard Charts. Eee gads. This is just God’s revenge on all of us for the Summer of Love back in 1967!”

Millennial Quote of the Week:

“English is important but Engineering is more importanter”

…..so trew, I says!”

 

SJ…………Out.

Labour Day

Vlad Putin states that it is useless to go down the North Korea rabbit hole. No, their solution is:

This:

A US B-1B bomber seen during an exercise over the Korean Peninsula on August 31, 2017.followed by this:

Image result for pictures of syriaUrban renewal in the Levant

Speaking of North Korea. Be very, very afraid.

An undated photo appears to show North Korean leader Kim Jong Un overseeing a missile launch, likely to be the one launched by North Korea on August 29.These guys kill me. Just look at that guy’s hat!

New fossilized footprints found on Crete. Thought to be a gazillion years old. Throws all the known facts about “Homo Erections” into a tizzy. Seems we have had a gay lifestyle around for millions of years now.

What does this hold for the future of mankind? In response, one of the scientists, who was also part of the team that studied the Switzerland ancient “Cereal Man” found on the remote glacier, laid it all down for us in the most simplistic terms on his white board:

“Homo Erections > Neanderthals > Homo Sapiens > Homo Sexuals > Homo Extinctus. And like the Swiss case this also took him 5 years on the government’s dole to develop this theory.

 

Lord of the Flies: William Golding’s 1954 novel. It has been made into a movie a few times. About a group of pre and adolescent boys stranded on a Pacific Island after a nuclear meltdown. How they survive is an allegorical tale of woe and has many links to our present. It was required reading in high school.

“It is a tale between the legs. Sorry, a tale between the alt left and the alt right. Everyone can see that.” someone was wont to say.

So now they want to reboot this tale into another movie but with an all female cast. Many are objecting to this for various reasons:

C’mon we have to show that boys are really bad, bad bullies, a feminist objector was heard to say. No, I think the main theme of “Group Think” or a piece of “Tale Between the Legs” is more apropos. It holds up very well.

 

Shania Twain’s clothes appear to be old-fashioned and out of dates. I say, and I think all males would agree with me, “Who Cares about her clothes.”

 

Seems Toronto’s School Board is going to suspend their highly successful Police in Schools program due to BLM objections, as being anti-immigrant, racist. So, they are going from this shocking state of affairs:

Image result for pics of policeman and schoolsTo this

Image result for pics of antifa at schoolsWhere are the cops when you need them?

Forget about pills and medication to reduce high blood pressure. I have the best cure of all to reduce that boiling point. Stop watching newscasts of all sorts and get rid of that daily newspaper. It works. I stopped watching broadcast news over a year ago and no longer subscribe to any newspapers. I feel great. My blood pressure ceased to boil. I get my news online where I can control the content. Great!

 

Have a great long weekend. Happy labour days to all those mothers out there. Sorry, workers. I’ll be up again Tuesday.

 

 

SJ………..Out.

Well that Eclipses Everything!

Seems that Cheerios is being blind sided in the misappropriation ballyhoo. Majority of those proper English Gents are no longer able to say “Cheerio” in social situations.  It is better to say “F%$K Off. More direct and to the point,” a Social Justice was heard to say.

Picture attributed to Wikipedia (John Cleese: Silly Walks Ministry)

From the Darwin Runner Up Award category: it would appear that some people in the Moonbat state of California are all in a tizzy with their Moonbat Governor because they almost blinded themselves while watching the latest solar eclipse. Seems somebody in the sunshine state told them that if they applied “Sunscreen” on their eyeballs they could look directly at the Corona. What they failed to tell them was that they were referring to the other set of balls for males at a nudist camp!

CarbondaleThese guys were okay. Not the Moonbat State.

On another note many solar panel officiates extremely upset that their solar panels failed during the eclipse. “If they can’t handle a simple stupid solar eclipse then what good are they? ” Someone was heard to say…….Geesh

Seems convicted Canadian Omar Kadr’s sister is coming to town. Wants to see Omar and find out from him how she can get on that government sponsored gravy train. “Just threaten to sue their asses off” someone was heard to say. It’s a win-win situation for you. After all you are a Muslim woman who is constantly being violated for your human rights…..right?….left…right?”

Damn: “Why are those lefties so darn righteous?…..Huh?”

Seems that our (Canada’s) Chief of Defence Staff attended Ottawa’s Gay Pride parade. Said he wanted to stay on top of things. As an ex Navy vet I am ashamed today. He also stated that he wanted to be there as the Canadian Forces unveiled their new under cover uniforms, as shown here.

Hey Charles, your hem line if getting a bit high, don’t ya think. Look to your mommy for guidance here.

Slide 1 of 30: Poderá ficar surpreendido com algumas destas restrições. Clique na galeria e surpreenda-se com algumas das mais peculiares regras às quais a família real mais famosa do mundo tem de se submeter!Seems that baby names like John, George, Ringo and Paul are no longer popular. Moonbat, Cirque, Hoelay and Weed are making a comeback for both boys and girls.

Heard that Yoko is suing for equal rights to the song “Imagine.” They told her that the screeching segment in the song had been edited out, years ago. No matter, just give me money, that’s all I want. It’s really an all-true-is-it? issue said Peter with his lisp. She wants the piano as well.

Oxy Moron of the week: Berkeley Mayor is so into free speech that he has requested the college to ban free speech week!  Say what.

Alt left and other progressives are destroying our way of life. Put out that joint and “Wake up People.” It is an existential threat to us all.

 

I can’t make this stuff up…………….SJ Out.