Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Is That Zedd or Zee?

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Image result for passchendaele

Lest We Forget

 

Premier Wall retires from Provincial politics……Damn. Only premier left in this country with some balls to stand up to the Regressive Lefts. Premier Wynne, who has no balls…last time I checked…is jubilant.

“We can finally implement our agenda to control every aspect of Canadian lives…” someone was heard to say.

 

NHL threatens to cancel its 2018 draft in Dallas if city continues with its One Sex… One bathroom policy. This coming from an all male dominated oligarchical organization. No women allowed into this all boys club. They only have one bathroom in their boardrooms, for all the dicks that are part of this organization.

NHL? Stick it to sports and stay out of politics.

Why do we have to politicize everything these days?….Geesh.

 

NK / US Crisis

Image result for N Korean Officers military hats  This pic cracks me up.                Nah, Trump has nothing to worry about here.

Give your heads a shake, for crikey sakes. Ahhh, maybe not.

 

Bestiary Images:  Bestiary texts offer animal-lore as a source of allegorical lessons for moral spiritual guidance. The earliest bestiary manuscripts date to the beginning of the 12th century. Or…the everything you wanted to know about bestiary manual.

Interestingly, at the same time sheep proliferated throughout Europe, particularly in the UK. Wellies would not make their debut until centuries later. Then PETA.

 

Whales being threatened by shipping. In response to a whale watching collision with a humpback whale off Victoria BC recently, Ottawa has taken dramatic action to ensure the mammal rights of the right whale, or is that the left whale? Ships will now be banned from transiting the Juan de Fuca Strait. Liz May is beside herself with glee.

“Yeah, but what about banning or regulating those whale watching boats…” someone with common sense asked of the government.

“This is really an issue of the left whale not knowing what the right whale is doing.” said a government spokesperson in response. “We will immediately set up a mammal rights commission on both coasts. We’ll have a whale of a time here guys and gals.

 

Government leaders in BC state that if Kinder Morgan pipeline tries to go through you will see protests out here the likes you have never seen….great. Just what we need. More instability.

BC Green leader states that: “In the B.C. Green caucus’s view (3 people), the National Energy Board process that led to this project’s approval was profoundly flawed,” Weaver said in a statement. He / they should know…right? “Numerous questions remain unanswered or were simply dismissed (Victoria Times Colonist).

Of course it was flawed. It ruled against the Green Party’s wishes. No fossil fuels period. Nada, niet whatsoever. Fossils are so, so 20th Century, don’t you know? Just like you Mr Weaver.

Hear are our Provincial leaders who castigate national energy strategic initiatives to further their own ideological agendas. To hell with the rest of Canada, oh except for Canada Day that is: “Don’t we live in such a grand diversified country where compromise is our strength in depth!”

Canada Day over now? Yes…oh those federal bastards and no good idiots east of the Rockies…F$#k them.

I still cannot get over the fact that a party that won only 3 seats out of 87 wields so much power in this province.

I just hope none of these gonads comes down with a life threatening health problem. If they do they will be thankful for the petroleum industry.

Canada is becoming a third world basket case!

 

Canadian diplomat suffered hearing loss while in Cuba. Blames it all on Climate Change and the Salsa!

 

This just in: eight things your farts can reveal about your health….yeah, I know of only one and….it stinks, now get off the couch!

 

20M jobs on the way if Canada adopts green agenda. Of course, but the narrative left one word out of their announcement. It should have read: 20M jobs on the way…out!

 

From the “Who gives a Fu$k factor:” Zedd on dating Selena Gomez. Or is that Zee.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

SJ……out.

 

Geesh!

Passchendaele: Blood and Mud

May – Nov 1917A Field of Mud225,000 Casualties

China issuing green bonds to pay for new coal fired power plants! They were going to use black bonds but that was considered racist. You can’t have Black Bondsmen doing this sort of thing. Harkens back to slavery or to the notion that only blacks do the time for the crime. See Moonbat State. So they are using Green Bondsmen instead…..Geesh!

 

Argos lose to Calgary. BMO place attendance a disgrace to the CFL. Time to disband the Argos Toronto, although I hate to say it. Tobin Rote would be rolling in his grave. Ever since Chris Jones won a Grey Cup as defensive coordinator with Toronto in 2012 he has been on a downhill slide due to his own high sense of importance. Wins with Edmonton then bails to Sask for more money and total control; fires key and very popular players and goes on a two year losing streak. As “He Man” would say; Jones….your fired.

 

Moobattery: seems that California, the Moonbat State is happy that the middle class is leaving the state by the thousands. “We are very happy about that” said a Moonbat. “This will make room for more immigrants.” Oh, you mean those people, the majority of which do not contribute to the economy…just take, take and take. “Well yes, we’ll just tax the snot out of the high tech sector and Holly’s Woody in the morning folk.” No problem…Geesh!

 

From the what would you rather have: a Prius or a Shelby? Comes this. Government’s war on cars. Mandate cars that drive themselves so that gov’t can take control of how you use them, where you go etc. There will be cut outs, governors implemented such that you will not be able to drive your car in certain instances, or fornicate in the back seat.

Think I’m kidding? It is already occurring in golf carts. The other day while golfing and using a cart, the cart suddenly stopped when I attempted to cross fescue to look for my ball. It wouldn’t move until I reversed and got back on to the fairway. Progress? For a progressive, Orwellian utopian society dude perhaps but not for me. I want my Cobra back!

And taking public transport is like inviting 50 n’er do wells into your living room.

 

As a white dude I am now classified as a minority in my own country, especially my home town of Toronto. I am now going to put myself down as a visible minority from now on. That is the real white privilege in this country? You bet.

Like taking coals to Newcastle, Marx and Engels statues coming to a Manchester near you England? Irony in its truest from. Jokes on English democratic institutions.

Be careful what you wish for lefties. I can hear………V..e..n..e..z..u..e..l..a.. calling.

Why are lefties so darned righteous anyway? The other day on Facebook I made a political comment of my own making based on an opinion piece I read. I was attacked for it. Some guy wanted to know my source. So I told him and was immediately chastised for daring to quote from a conservative, and therefore, extremely right wing rag. In his eyes I became (insert whatever here) phobian. Did I criticize him? No. Did I make fun of his literary prowess or the news sources that he favoured or read? No. No comeback or debate of the issue I raised whatsoever. Just an attack on me like a rabid dog….Intolerance is the mark of a real lefty…..I’m ex military so I tend to stay away from the left, right rhetoric, except while marching of course….I like to make light of things…from all sides of the political spectrum……..Geesh.

 

SJ….Out……Have a great weekend

 

Scary Thoughts

Just in. Each year the US Military spends about $234M on Viagra, Ciallus and other performance enhancing drugs, or is it weapons of mass seduction? “For Fu*k sakes, what on earth are they doing down there” someone was  heard to ask. “Just fu*kin around came the answer. There’s no life like it. It’s more than just a career!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Young boy throwing fishing net somewhere on a beach in Saipan. (A favourite picture of mine).

 

Somewhere off Saipan!

“State of Emergency, State of Emergency, State of Emergency” BC WILDFIRE SITUATION! State of Emergency. This is the prelude to all of the news segments over Vancouver Radio stations. If we don’t have enough to worry about now what with Climate Change and the dearth of healthy sperm in western society. If the fires don’t kill ya, then climate change will and if that doesn’t work then all you males out there will not be able to procreate. Scary stuff – now that last bit is a real state of emergency.

Seriously, the media must think we are all toe tards. First real hot day of summer: WEAR SUNSCREEN, WEAR A HAT, DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS, COVER UP BARE SKIN, STAY IN DOORS. Then the very first really cold day in the winter: DRESS WARMLY, DRESS IN LAYERS. WHAT ARE LAYERS? GO TO OUR WEB SITE TO FIND OUT. EXPOSED SKIN CAN FREEZE AFTER 2 MINUTES (really?). ITS SCARY OUT THERE. KEEP KIDS INDOORS ALL THE TIME………..Geesh.

 

Passchendaele – Just east of Ypres. Canada’s Other Vimy Ridge. Began in May. Lasted through to October 1917. If there ever was a hell on earth, this was it. Canada’s second Vimy Ridge.

 

Menin Gate Ypres. Nightly last post ceremony. Very, very emotional

Passchendaele 1917:

Painting Canadian Gunners in the Mud, Passchendaele 1917, by Lieutenant Alfred Bastien, Canadian War Museum Collection

Passchendaele 2015. Main road to the church and village, which was obliterated during the battle.

 

So called woman journalist slams the movie Dunkirk. Just another male bondage…er…bonding film – white privilege – male privilege and on and on she goes with her privilege. Not enough colour folks or women leads etc etc. I’ll leave it at that for the words speak for themselves. I am just glad that we didn’t have leaders like we have today coupled with a significant lack of intelligence, back during the First and Second World Wars. We would all be speaking German or Japanese now without any privilege whatsoever.

 

Presidential press secretary Sean Spicer out, Scaramucci in. Say, what? Scaramucci? Is that “Skeletor’s” brother? If TRUMP isn’t scary enough they go out and find a guy with a last name like that. Why not just go with Weiner? At least he is a known entity. Someone you can get your hands around. Media is going to have a field day with this guy. With his shades on he kinda looks like a mad Kevin Bacon.

 

Woman blames TRUMP selfies for her divorce. Finally, something not caused by Climate Change.

 

Heard by a Millennial in passing. “Hey do have any climate change. I have to pay for parking and they don’t take Bitcoin.”

 

 

SJ…….Out……Happy Monday. Remember Passchendaele

 

 

 

 

 

Robin Hood

This just in: Australian women need Muslim men to fertilize them! Wow, that has to be the weirdest pick-up line going.

 

Armed police taser man carrying crossbow and knife through the streets of Manchester. When stopped the man asked police if he was on the right road to Nottingham. That’s when they tasered him.

 

Oxymoronic statement of the week: “Feminist Muslim to open a liberal mosque in the UK!”

 

President Erdogan say that Turkey will no longer yield to western demands. It will no longer be stepped upon. This after detaining 50,000 of its citizens after last year’s failed coup. Another dangerous dictator. Another failed state in the making here. How do you spell Turkey? O..T..T..O..M..A..N    E..M..P..I..R..E

Turkey: Fantasyland in Asia Minor

 

Whatever turns your crank file:   A Bronze Age wooden box uncovered in the Swiss mountains in 2012 has proved an exciting find for scientists as it sheds new light on the kind of food eaten by prehistoric settlers.  And it took these guys five years to come up with this statement? I got to get a job in this field! Excitement? Would hate to know what bores them to death!

 

So Sad:………French Philosopher Anne Dufourmantelle drowns while trying to save drowning children. The world needs more people like her. For sure. Makes that Florida drowning incident, where teenage bystanders watched and laughed as a man drowned before them, even more disturbing.

 

My Geesh of the Week:

Ex Nazi interpreter stripped of his Canadian citizenship a fourth time. It was stripped off of him and given to Omar Khadr….a convicted terrorist living in Canada on the $10.5 M financial largesse of the Canadian Government….Geesh.

 

 

SJ….Out. Have a great weekend.

My View from Mill Bay.

New Canadian Governor General appointee, Julie Payette, faced assault charges in Maryland in 2011, which were subsequently dropped; divorced her live in “fly boy” boyfriend and did not seek child support, and hit and killed a pedestrian with her car. She was cleared of any wrongdoing in that incident, also in Maryland. Trudeau has stated that due diligence was taken in this appointment and that Ms Payette represents the very best of Canadian values, openness to the world, curiosity, intellectual rigour and inspiration. She will continue to inspire generations of Canadians as she represents us at the very highest level,” Trudeau said at an event in Quebec City. I don’t fault Ms Payette’s personal hardships but I don’t think a man would ever pass Trudeau’s character test.

Just like his $10M payout to convicted terrorist Omar Khadr, who represents Canadian values at the highest level….Geeesh!

Say what? Is this Trudeau’s definition of Canadian values? Ms Payette responded in kind: “I hope that people will respect my private life.”

Sorry Ms Payette. I do feel for you and sympathize but as Governor General you have no private life. Imagine if Harper had made this selection?….Geeesh!

 

Seems the data from the 10,000 year old chronology of the Vostoc Ice Core temp vs CO2 ice core data doesn’t fit the AGW narrative. Now what? Well, let’s bring in the ‘DATA ADJUSTMENT BUREAU.” Whew, saved by the bell curve. Sort of has an Orwellian taste to it doesn’t it?

 

American idol is coming back!? I thought it was cancelled. Filling a void so they say. Ryan Seacrest is coming back as host. This was announced to the tune…just give me money, that’s what I want. They say that all good things in life are free…but you can give them to the birds and bees…just give me money…that’s what I want…

America’s Muzak industry is delighted at the news.

 

A visitor to Toronto’s CN Tower was heard to remark.

“Even from 1800 feet Toronto sucks”

CN Tower: Toronto’s giant phallic symbol. Get screwed. And I saw it go up,up,up foot by foot from a balcony in Etobicoke.

 

SJ……out.