Category: A Very Short Story

From the Short Story Vault

Scary Thoughts

Just in. Each year the US Military spends about $234M on Viagra, Ciallus and other performance enhancing drugs, or is it weapons of mass seduction? “For Fu*k sakes, what on earth are they doing down there” someone was  heard to ask. “Just fu*kin around came the answer. There’s no life like it. It’s more than just a career!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Young boy throwing fishing net somewhere on a beach in Saipan. (A favourite picture of mine).

 

Somewhere off Saipan!

“State of Emergency, State of Emergency, State of Emergency” BC WILDFIRE SITUATION! State of Emergency. This is the prelude to all of the news segments over Vancouver Radio stations. If we don’t have enough to worry about now what with Climate Change and the dearth of healthy sperm in western society. If the fires don’t kill ya, then climate change will and if that doesn’t work then all you males out there will not be able to procreate. Scary stuff – now that last bit is a real state of emergency.

Seriously, the media must think we are all toe tards. First real hot day of summer: WEAR SUNSCREEN, WEAR A HAT, DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS, COVER UP BARE SKIN, STAY IN DOORS. Then the very first really cold day in the winter: DRESS WARMLY, DRESS IN LAYERS. WHAT ARE LAYERS? GO TO OUR WEB SITE TO FIND OUT. EXPOSED SKIN CAN FREEZE AFTER 2 MINUTES (really?). ITS SCARY OUT THERE. KEEP KIDS INDOORS ALL THE TIME………..Geesh.

 

Passchendaele – Just east of Ypres. Canada’s Other Vimy Ridge. Began in May. Lasted through to October 1917. If there ever was a hell on earth, this was it. Canada’s second Vimy Ridge.

 

Menin Gate Ypres. Nightly last post ceremony. Very, very emotional

Passchendaele 1917:

Painting Canadian Gunners in the Mud, Passchendaele 1917, by Lieutenant Alfred Bastien, Canadian War Museum Collection

Passchendaele 2015. Main road to the church and village, which was obliterated during the battle.

 

So called woman journalist slams the movie Dunkirk. Just another male bondage…er…bonding film – white privilege – male privilege and on and on she goes with her privilege. Not enough colour folks or women leads etc etc. I’ll leave it at that for the words speak for themselves. I am just glad that we didn’t have leaders like we have today coupled with a significant lack of intelligence, back during the First and Second World Wars. We would all be speaking German or Japanese now without any privilege whatsoever.

 

Presidential press secretary Sean Spicer out, Scaramucci in. Say, what? Scaramucci? Is that “Skeletor’s” brother? If TRUMP isn’t scary enough they go out and find a guy with a last name like that. Why not just go with Weiner? At least he is a known entity. Someone you can get your hands around. Media is going to have a field day with this guy. With his shades on he kinda looks like a mad Kevin Bacon.

 

Woman blames TRUMP selfies for her divorce. Finally, something not caused by Climate Change.

 

Heard by a Millennial in passing. “Hey do have any climate change. I have to pay for parking and they don’t take Bitcoin.”

 

 

SJ…….Out……Happy Monday. Remember Passchendaele

 

 

 

 

 

Robin Hood

This just in: Australian women need Muslim men to fertilize them! Wow, that has to be the weirdest pick-up line going.

 

Armed police taser man carrying crossbow and knife through the streets of Manchester. When stopped the man asked police if he was on the right road to Nottingham. That’s when they tasered him.

 

Oxymoronic statement of the week: “Feminist Muslim to open a liberal mosque in the UK!”

 

President Erdogan say that Turkey will no longer yield to western demands. It will no longer be stepped upon. This after detaining 50,000 of its citizens after last year’s failed coup. Another dangerous dictator. Another failed state in the making here. How do you spell Turkey? O..T..T..O..M..A..N    E..M..P..I..R..E

Turkey: Fantasyland in Asia Minor

 

Whatever turns your crank file:   A Bronze Age wooden box uncovered in the Swiss mountains in 2012 has proved an exciting find for scientists as it sheds new light on the kind of food eaten by prehistoric settlers.  And it took these guys five years to come up with this statement? I got to get a job in this field! Excitement? Would hate to know what bores them to death!

 

So Sad:………French Philosopher Anne Dufourmantelle drowns while trying to save drowning children. The world needs more people like her. For sure. Makes that Florida drowning incident, where teenage bystanders watched and laughed as a man drowned before them, even more disturbing.

 

My Geesh of the Week:

Ex Nazi interpreter stripped of his Canadian citizenship a fourth time. It was stripped off of him and given to Omar Khadr….a convicted terrorist living in Canada on the $10.5 M financial largesse of the Canadian Government….Geesh.

 

 

SJ….Out. Have a great weekend.

My View from Mill Bay.

New Canadian Governor General appointee, Julie Payette, faced assault charges in Maryland in 2011, which were subsequently dropped; divorced her live in “fly boy” boyfriend and did not seek child support, and hit and killed a pedestrian with her car. She was cleared of any wrongdoing in that incident, also in Maryland. Trudeau has stated that due diligence was taken in this appointment and that Ms Payette represents the very best of Canadian values, openness to the world, curiosity, intellectual rigour and inspiration. She will continue to inspire generations of Canadians as she represents us at the very highest level,” Trudeau said at an event in Quebec City. I don’t fault Ms Payette’s personal hardships but I don’t think a man would ever pass Trudeau’s character test.

Just like his $10M payout to convicted terrorist Omar Khadr, who represents Canadian values at the highest level….Geeesh!

Say what? Is this Trudeau’s definition of Canadian values? Ms Payette responded in kind: “I hope that people will respect my private life.”

Sorry Ms Payette. I do feel for you and sympathize but as Governor General you have no private life. Imagine if Harper had made this selection?….Geeesh!

 

Seems the data from the 10,000 year old chronology of the Vostoc Ice Core temp vs CO2 ice core data doesn’t fit the AGW narrative. Now what? Well, let’s bring in the ‘DATA ADJUSTMENT BUREAU.” Whew, saved by the bell curve. Sort of has an Orwellian taste to it doesn’t it?

 

American idol is coming back!? I thought it was cancelled. Filling a void so they say. Ryan Seacrest is coming back as host. This was announced to the tune…just give me money, that’s what I want. They say that all good things in life are free…but you can give them to the birds and bees…just give me money…that’s what I want…

America’s Muzak industry is delighted at the news.

 

A visitor to Toronto’s CN Tower was heard to remark.

“Even from 1800 feet Toronto sucks”

CN Tower: Toronto’s giant phallic symbol. Get screwed. And I saw it go up,up,up foot by foot from a balcony in Etobicoke.

 

SJ……out.

Some More Crappola – Happy Monday

Beyoncé just announced to the world the names given to her twins: “Rumi” and “Sir.” Say what? These people may have talent – questionable to me – but that doesn’t mean they have brains. Poor kids.

Did you know that Malcron’s, (the President of France),  wife is 64.  He is 39! He is said to be high on the “Teat.”

This just in: “Boob jobs could save lives” and Malcron’s marriage.

Trudeau gives $24M to Clinton foundation. That’s a lot of fill Justine.

Trudeau say Canada will never negotiate with terrorists?? Hmmm? Are we that Khadr stupid to you Justine. But Malcron says that Terrorism is caused by Climate Change. Better stay on your wife’s teat Mr Malcron. More credibility there. How on earth did these guys ever get elected.

Drooping boobs caused by Climate Change. See Malcron’s wife. She’ll know.

Climate change responsible for wild fires. No, humans are, and lightning.

Because of climate change, Polar Bears could now eat humans. Just like lions and tigers Billy! No, really.

Maldives will be underwater by the end of this year, according to 1988 UN Climate expert report.                                                                                         Looks fine to me.                            

Holy Shyte Batman

Climate cultists want people to have less babies, perhaps none. This only applies to the great unwashed – you and me. The elites will continue to have children because, after all, they are elites. They have to propagate, don’t you know.

Tell that to the Muslim population where their stated goal is to take over western civilization, not by the sword, but demographically. For every one baby a westerner has they will have 10!

They are advocating sterilization. I say go for it. The less whackos we have on the planet the better.

 

Woman lost the chance at a $1M prize during a CFL game Thursday night. All due to a very bad call by the referees.

 

Union files grievance over University’s plan to use goat, sheep to clear lawns. Seems that they’re upset that Wellingtons were not issued to the local union reps.

 

Leading psychologist says that having a gender revealing party will scar a child for life. Never mind forcing a “he” or a “zey” to wear a dress  and identify as a women while he is playing with “he’s” GI Josephine.

 

Seattle bans the cleaning of poop off of its sidewalks. Apparently it is racist. Someone was heard to say “No Shit!” No, lots of it.

 

Home ownership may not be viable says climate alarmist. Agenda 21 anyone? Yeah, old Lenin, Stalin had it right with those housing mega-plexes. There is a reason Berlin tore those ugly monstrosities down after unification.

Time to get off….Geesh.

I wish I could but I cannot make this stuff up.

SJ……..Out…….Have a great weekend. Read ya Monday