What with all that is happening in Vegas, Spain and other places, it just doesn’t seem right to make lite of anything today:
Pray for Vegas victims.
SJ……………………..Out
Category: A Very Short Story
From the Short Story Vault
Poker Face
Only 95 days until Maldives disappear, according to the UN. 01 January 2018.
Headline: Kardashian pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby. How did that happen? Well if Bruce Jenner can become a woman then I guess anything is possible. Transferring babies? Wow. The Trans community is all in a tizzy.
Top chefs reveal their trade secrets. That’s easy one was heard to say. I use “Take-Out! Or I brown bag it. That way nobody can see my trade secrets!”
Hefner dies at 91. It was a great ride huh Hugh. Great memories of growing up with that icon hidden under my bed!
In Canada recently a family got asylum. The husband was rejected. “He just wasn’t crazy enough” a government official announced. I mean “Maybe next time.”
In response to Trudope’s taxation legislation that is going to screw the middle class: “I didn’t vote in the rast erection” a Japanese Canadian was heard to say.
So the NFL, CFL and now NHL are going to continue with their bended knee protests of the National Anthems. Great I can just TFL: This Fan Left and change the channel. See how that works for ya all. What is going on here these days? Is anyone happy anymore? What happened to our role models?
Whose going home tonight folks?
Other things of note: Colbert is just not funny. Oliver is just not funny. Maher is just not witty, or funny. American comedy is on the skids. SNL? 40 years of crap. Can that canned laughter machine and hear just how stupid their monologues are. Thinking the other day about this and then thought about Jack Benny. Now this guy was funny:
The master of the visual understatement.
Rewarding rigor: as in rewarding high academic achievement in schools. Sorry guys but that type of rigor is now known as “Rigor Mortis” in our institutions of higher learning.
They say that France and other old European countries have about 40 years remaining before becoming Muslim in their majority demographic. It’s also happening here. I thank my God that I’ll be dead and gone well before then. How do you spell relief Virginia: S…H…A…R…I…A! I can only hope and pray that a new Charles “the hammer” Martel is in the wings somewhere!
Heard in passing at an open air poker game: “Well that’s great infidel. I’ll see your 1.5 children and raise you 10!” How’s that! I call….
US Navy returning to basics after disastrous month of collisions at sea. Wow, they are going back to using compasses and pencils and forcing young officers of the watch to learn and implement the international agreement for Rules of the Road at sea. “Yeah, but where are the bike lanes? I don’t see any out here!” One raw recruit was heard to say. He was immediately reassigned to the Army……….Geesh.
SJ………………………Out.
Me? A Fashion Faux Pas
Only 96 days until the Maldives are under water according to a 1988 UN report on Global Warming. Maldives today:
But Canada knows better because we are Climate Change smug!
Have ya heard?
Venezuela is about to declare war on the US. Great but I have one question for them. How ya going to feed your troops?
Seems like North Korea is about to declare war on the US as well. See above remark.
Those hats would scare anyone but they don’t put food on the table. Hey these guys are pretty old as well. Did they take a page out of the Canadian Military. Even the cat is dumbfounded. Gotta love those medals as well. Nah, Trump has nothing to worry about.
This from the Moonbat State: Coffee to be banned cause there is a minute trace cancer agent that exists as a natural byproduct of the brewing process. Man these guys are really going after smokers aren’t they?
Fashion faux pas men make:
![Slide 1 of 11: <p>Style mistakes are something a man generally wants to avoid.</p><p> And style mistakes that the opposite sex has voted as the most egregious? Well, you'd better listen up.</p><p> Female commenters on Reddit's <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/201rhx/whats_the_worst_fashion_mistake_a_man_could_make/"> r/AskWomen subreddit</a> were asked to vote on what they consider to be the worst style blunders they see on men.</p><p> We've rounded up the 10 most upvoted sins and coupled them with advice on how to best avoid them.</p>]({"default":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AApqPmZ.img?h=373&w=624&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f"} "Style mistakes are something a man generally wants to avoid. And style mistakes that the opposite se... - iStock")
Yeah, but this is cool…not:
And with a hairstyle to boot.
Kind of reminds me of this:
And this:
Or is this an ANTIFA training camp?……………..Geesh.
Are sea levels rising? Nope. But one stupid dude tried to tell me that sea levels in the western Pacific are rising dramatically more than the sea levels in the eastern Pacific. Think about that statement. Another told me that Archimedes worked for Big Oil!………..Geesh!
Global Warming models now appear to have been flawed: erring on the hot side….Geesh. They’re now trying to say that they used the wrong glue:
I don’t know about you but all I do now is look out my windows every morning when I rise. Is it a sweater / jacket day or not?
Surprise of the day: now that the NDP have formed government, NDP insiders fill important government jobs! Noooooo, say it ain’t so Rocky!
That’s all for today.
SJ…………………………Out
Just Thinkin Man
Have to go out so no post today. This is a repeat from November 2016. Back tomorrow.
“Hey Jay, Howzit goin eh?” Hey, where are the Pigeons? 
“Hey George. Long time no read.”
“Bin here Jay. What’s going on these days?”
“Pretty quiet in Cyber-land George. Craziness has toned down somewhat. Weird and Whacky as well.
The Progs are at it though. Pretty bad case of THC going on.”
“THC Jay? Is it 420 day already? Oh yeah. Right! Here’s to all the stoners out there.”
“No, no, no George. Not THC as in “Weed” but as in Trump Hysteria Condition”
“Right. How so?”
” The Dems and Progressives want to overturn erection results! Want Electoral Colleges to renege vote for Trump in December and solidly stand upright for Hillary”
“Why Jay?”
“To save Democracy George, of course……”
“I think I need a stiff drink Jay.”
“They also want to abolish the Electoral Colleges. Something that has been a part of their electoral process, their democracy since 1776. Seems Founding Fathers had it all wrong. They didn’t heed Nostradamus’ warning.”
“Who?”
“Nostradamus George. Nostradamus. The French Prophet and toothsayer who lived in the 1500s.”
“He did Jay? Good Gawd. How’d he end up in 1776?”
“It would appear that Nostradamus predicted Trump’s win over Hillary.”
“They state that in Quatrane 10,666 Nostradamus wrote:
“BUCINUM Hillary verberat.
LAPSUS pergit. Bill est saevire,
Fundamentum rimas,
In furorem sine comitiis.”
“Crikey Jay, speak English!”
“Sorry George. But I did take Latin for 5 years in high school. I was…veritably good at it.”
“Here it is, as translated, it means……………………..”Hillary got Trumped in Spades”
“Seems the Founding Fathers missed that bit of sagery during their “Bridge” break while writing the Constitution.”
“And from the “Play Dough” and “Safe Space” crowd George comes this bit of THC:”
“GOP is the most dangerous organization in History.”
“Wow, worse than the 3rd Reich? Stalin’s Communism?…..The Brady Bunch Jay?”
“Oh, and COP 22 is going on. Or has just finished in Marrakech
“Marrakech, as in Africa’s Marrakech Jay? I thought the Cop’s 22nd Division was in, as in Toronto.
“No, no George. Not the Police Cops but as in Community of Parties COPs – as in Climate Change.”
“Canada sent 225 delegates to the Party.” Wow. Was it BYOB Jay?”
“How’d they get there Jay? By Camel?” Or the Marrakech Express?
“No, Camels can’t swim George. No, they all flew over from Ottawa.”
“In a hot air balloon Jay?”
“Good one George.”
“Heard in passing George that Ryerson students, when interviewed recently, and when asked, felt that Canadian Peacekeepers should be deployed to the nations of Karach and Wakonda to stop the insurrections there and to thwart further production of “Vibranium” (Rebel Media, 22 Nov 16)”
“The future of mankind George. Scary! I wonder if Nostradamus predicted this in his 10,667th unfinished Quatrane:
“Alumni idiotae”
…………………….
University Superioria
…………………….
“Something about higher learning me thinks”
“Y’know George. Green used to be my favourite colour. But now? I hate anything and everything green. I even killed my lawn. It is now brown in colour. And, I hate that word sustainability, transparency and I also hate that linguistic combination of two simple words… a conjunction of a perposition….”as in”!!………….STOP IT!
Shakey Jay….out!
* Pic by Wikimedia
End Of The World As We Know It!
I heard the progressives cry when they saw this. According to them, at the centre for science at Moonbat University, this mass distinction never occurred and that they, T-Rex and company, are only asleep somewhere. They will be returning you know. I got news for you Virginia:
This just in: Next great mass extinction to occur in 100 years, around 2100, because of the amount of carbon being pumped into the atmosphere, according to a mathematical study of the five previous events in the last 540 million years. Oh you mean this study:
![The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York.]({"default":"//img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAqG4RX.img?h=373&w=624&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f&x=636&y=294"} "The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbi... - UNSW/Andrew Kelly")
Sorry, the artifact that just keeps on giving.
Some professor at a highly regarded institution of higher lemmings theorized that disturbances in the natural cycle of carbon through the atmosphere, oceans, plant and animal life played a role in mass die-offs of animals and plants.
And how does he know this for sure? He studied 31 times when there had been such changes and found four out of the five previous mass extinctions took place when the disruption crossed a “threshold of catastrophic change.” This sounds ominous.
“He’s quite old y’know,” a colleague was heard to say.
And here I thought it was an asteroid. Silly me.
Based on his analysis of these mass extinctions, the Professor, as pictured above in his lab with an unknown cohort, developed a mathematical formula to help predict how much extra carbon could be added to before triggering a sixth one. Their models, as shown below, are highly sophisticated and complex for the average sod like you and me to understand. And, they are based upon the UN’s IPCC climate science models.
They bear this out. The UN’s IPCC is ecstatic over this as it falls nicely into their narrative that if we do not do something now about climate change the earth will end by 2100. A double whammy. Accountability for such outrageous claims? Well, of course we’ll all be dead by then won’t we!
On another heart warming note: A self-described “specialist in research and investigations at the United Nations’ “Department of Specialists in Research and Investigations” has earned a fair amount of publicity online recently for predicting that catastrophic events will soon befall Earth. Among his claims: On Saturday, Sept. 23, 2017, a constellation — a sign prophesied in the Book of Revelation — will reveal itself in the skies over Jerusalem, signaling the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. Yikes, that’s tomorrow! This researcher believes that by the end of October, the world may enter what’s called a seven-year tribulation period, a fairly widespread evangelical belief that for seven years, catastrophic events will befall Earth.
He calls this his “Moses Theory.” They tried to interview him but they couldn’t nail him down:
The UN pulled out its Mayan Calendar to do a fact check but were dismayed and forgot that that calendar ended 12 December 2012. get it: 12-12-12. Of course the United Nations says that we have to donate $60T dollars to third world countries if we want to stop this from happening now. I told them to go to 6-6-6!
From the who gives a flying F^%K file comes this: Rhianna reveals her real family name: Rhianna Fenty.
And here I though it was Rhianna Banana.
That’s all I wrote. Have a great weekend.
SJ…………..Out