Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

All Right Now…Baby It’s a…….

Let’s See?

Image result for pics of amldivesWhew! It’s still there. Thought for a minutes the UN was right to predict the Maldives would be underwater by Jan 1 2018. Nope, still there with 33 days to go.

From a post last year. Sorry, posts will be down as I am dealing with a sickness in the family:

Don’t you know:

  1. Climate change is a  feminist movement. Why, because it’s always changing man…..;
  2. Carbon is a transgendered element of the Periodic Table. It is stuck between that borion “B” and that nitrogen-der;
  3. Cow farts and flatulence contributes to Global Warming and is therefore a masculine threat. Why? Because women never, ever fart. And if they do their farts never stink. It must be stamped out immediately. See #1 above;
  4. The other day an activist told me that Archimedes worked for big oil. This was in response to a discussion I had with him that he needn’t worry about major flooding and sea level rising if the Arctic Ice Cap melts
  5. Eureka! The Arctic Ice Cap is not melting. It’s expanding. It must be a feminist movement as well. “Am I getting bigger. Do I look fat to you honey?;”
  6. Global Warming causes hot summer weather;
  7. Global Warming causes cold, frigid winter weather;
  8. Frigidity is a feminist movement and must be stamped out at all costs;
  9. Global cooling is therefore, a feminist threat, and must be met with #3 above;
  10. Under peer review, as temperatures rise the warming effects of global warming will offset the cooling effects of global cooling as a result of the global warming. Got that? Yeah? cool! Chill man, er woman, er ne, ve or ze, er wo…oops…man
  11. Pesticides found in Marijuana! Ban marijuana now before it kills us;
  12. Pot for kids! Ban pot now because you can’t call the kettle back;
  13. Under the new marijuana legislation, every pot has a lid man, er women, er ne,ve or ze!;
  14. Heaven help us if the kids are our future…see #12 above;
  15. Hooray for natural gas…see #3 above.
  16. Liquid natural gas? Well a good dose of Keopectate will take care of that;
  17. Greenpeace and US activists protest First Nation sponsored aqua-culture…What?;
  18. Ne, Ve or Ze are Clockwork Oranges.
  19. Smoking kills but smoking pot is alright now man. It’s out of sight, out of mind, and out of body; and
  20. Thank God that I will be dead soon…see #s 19,14 and 12 above.

Madness!

 

SJ……………………………………..Out

Ice Rinks

Another dire prediction: Russian Orthodox church weighs in: End of history is near, or nigh, or bye bye? What does Bill Nigh have to say:

Image result for pics of bill nigh the science guyNews to me!

Seems Richard Branson is the latest sex guy. From reading it would appear that all he did was admire one of his guest’s breasts, didn’t touch them, then made some sort of grrrrr sound and that was it. Sexual assault allegation for something that occurred 7 years ago. Now, I think what is going on in Hollywood and other places is disgusting but hey guys, stop ogling or you might be next. Geesh. Yeah, I remember vaguely looking at some attractive woman 10 years ago. I am worried sick about it now.

Will be kind of slow over the next few weeks with a repeat of some of my better posts. Sickness in the family. Can’t do much until that is resolved.

Before I go just a quick reminder. Maldives gone in 34 days:

Image result for pics of maldivesLet’s partay!

Argooos win Grey Cup or in case you missed it:  Coupe de Grey – it’s Canada after all. Not bad for a team that went 9-9. Unbelievable but then again this is the CFL.

Let’s see now: Friday was “Black Friday,” Today is “Cyber Monday” so tomorrow it will be “Tapped Out Tuesday.” Can’t wait.

I think Ottawa is tapped out now:

skating rink

Parliament Hill ice rink cost us $5.2M bucks. And it’s only open for a few weeks then closed. Oh, and there are so many restrictions in its use to be laughable: no eating, no drinking, no shinny, no twirlings, no power skating, no hockey, no skating hand in hand, no walking, no sliding, falling is prohibitive. You have to reserve a spot 48 hours in advance of your use, huge security checkup in the same vein as airport security and guess what? In typical government fashion, skate blades are a banned item when going through security so……………………….NO SKATING ALLOWED. Only in Canada you say….shitty.

And, as only a government agency can do, I can’t wait to see how they are going to screw up marijuana use. Don’t worry, some guy said, “The government ice skating rink oversight board members were all stoned when they came up with this one and made the rules. We believe in inclusivity. We were all stoned. Not just one or two of us. All of us! Diversity is our strength, don’t you know.”

Probably turn out to be hashish!…………..Geesh

Meanwhile, across the street and down a block or two, the City of Ottawa has this:

Image result for pics of rideau canal skating

Largest outdoor skating rink in the world…FREEEEEEEEEE.

“Yes,” an official was heard to say. “But we love redundancy hence the parliament hill ice rink.”

We are doomed, screwed and tattooed. Yes they, the government, has an app for that too. But it will cost you.

Few pointers for your consideration:

  • Science is all about white privilege;
  • Snow is a good example of white supremacy;
  • Mount Blanc will have to change its name as it is a trigger;
  • Archimedes works for Big Oil;
  • A girl scout is suing the Girl Guides for $30M. Girl Guide cookie factories ramping up to 24/7 operations in response;
  • Girl Scouts want to be boy scouts. The Boy Scouts cannot wait for the first sleep-over;
  • Canadian Gov’t increasing annual deficit. Our gov’t doesn’t seem to worry about debt so why should I;
  • While the world is going to hell in a hand basket, Canadian politicians and Human Rights officials want to ban the use of indigenous names – like the Cleveland Indians, Chicago Black Hawks etc. Some politicians even find the Edmonton Eskimo’s football team’s name offensive. To Whom?? They don’t tell us that! But mark my words, Eskimo Pies will be next! Ban refrigerants! Argon! Heck, let’s do away with the entire Periodic Table as it was built by Big Oil;
  • CFCs were banned in the 80s. Now HFCs in the 2016s. KFC is next! After that “Water Vapour” as it is a major factor in the world’s climate, perhaps argon as well;
  • Moon craters forming faster than we thought. Caused by Solar Warming. In response, President Obama directed the Federal Government to come up with a plan to deal with “space weather” to mitigate the increase in moon crater formation. UN calls for first MOP conference to deal with this important development – Moonbats of Parties – to be held in Las Vegas later this year. Cost will be in the gazillions!

Happy Monday

Argoos win Coupe de Gris or Grey Cup. Only in Canada would one have a sports title like that.

 

SJ……………………………………….Out

Giving Thanks

This just in from the Moonbat State:

Mike Hughes is shown with his steam-powered rocket constructed out of salvage parts. He plans to launch it Saturday.

Rocket launch will prove Earth is flat, California man says. This guy, codenamed “Rocket Man,” no relation to Kim Flung Poo of North Korea, has done this before with nixed results.

“If you’re not scared to death, you’re an idiot. It’s scary as hell, but none of us are getting out of this world alive.” Well some of us are Mr Hughes. You are now the poster boy for the Darwin Award. I can’t make this stuff up. Move over Governor Gerry Brown. You now have competition as the lead Moonbat of the Moonbat State.

Ooooo. Iran sends warships to the Gulf of Mexico. US is shaking in its boots.  This handout image provided Tuesday, July 25, 2017, from the U.S. Navy purports to show an Iranian vessel making a close approach to a U.S. coastal patrol ship USS Thunderbolt, right. The U.S. Navy patrol boat fired warning shots near the Iranian vessel that American sailors said came dangerously close to them during a tense encounter in the Persian Gulf. Iran's Revolutionary Guard later blamed the American ship for provoking the situation.

US responds with this:

Image result for pics of US Aircraft carrieror this:Image result for pics of battleships

Iran is soon to be known as the Middle East’s Moonbat Nation.

Kim Flung Poo, no worse to the wise, gives Iran some advice. “If you’re going to come to the partay, then you better come prepared.”

Image result for pics of Kim Un and nuclear explosions“So you think Trump is a “Hard Ass” do ya? Take that. Ayatolla. Just stay upwind as this is a killer fart.”  Kim banned from visiting California, The Anti-Flatulence State.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our American Friends. For Trump, a thanksgiving treat:

Image result for pics of kim un as a turkeyOops, sorry, wrong Turkey.

Image result for pics of kim un as a turkey head

Thank you lord for the gift that just keeps on giving.

On another note: is that Mike Myer’s dad in that photo? Hmmm? Wondering!

There is a God:

  • Bosnian Serb military chief Ratko Mladic convicted of genocide and sentenced to life in prison…..
  • Cathy Griffon, that comedian with the mocked up severed head of Trump, complains that she cannot find work anywhere in Holly’s Woody in the Morning crowd. Wait a minute. They hate Trump in Holly’s Woody in the Morning. Could it be that she has no talent? She is not that funny? Maybe, perhaps.  Oh, I don’t know.

Canada’s Miss Universe representative:

Slide 16 of 93

Whoa, I though PRIDE was over last June. Another pic for the swim suit competition. This will be hard a hard one to judge one of the Judges was heard to remark.

Image result for women in burka images

 

Canada’s allies are killing their ISIS citizens. What is Canada doing? Killing then with love. As reported in yesterday’s post if we throw enough money at them – $10.6M per ISIS per – we can make them into a “hosers” just like the rest of us. Failing that, in typical Canadian bureaucratic speak….the government has launched the new Canada Centre for Community Engagement and Prevention of Violence to help jihadists “let go of that terrorist ideology,” The CCCEP for short. Hey, isn’t that the name of the middle school system in Quebec?

Yeah, that should work! …………………………………………….Wake up Canada.

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving to the US of A.

 

 

SJ……………………………..Out

 

 

 

 

 

Sensitive Bullies

David Cassidy dead at 67. Man, makes me feel really old. I am only a year younger than him. Watching him and the Partridge Family doesn’t seem that long ago.

On another note the sex continues. This time some guy named Nick Carter accused of rape. Holy crap.  Never heard of him. The accuser  said Carter called for weeks after. He eventually stopped calling, but then she signed on with his manager and friend, Kenneth Crear. Yeah, that’ll do it. I guess her career needed a boost financially.

Cult like Canadian product could break all time “Black Friday” records. What is it?

Image result for pics of canadian hosers' toquesThe Canadian Hoser Toque!                                  Gotta get me one. Canada’s contribution to the world man.

True-dough welcomes back 60 ISIS terrorists. With open arms no doubt and an open wallet. Let’s see, on average he has been giving these questionable dudes $10.5M each – so that’s going to cost us about $630M bucks. But hey they’re Canadians eh? More-dough was heard to say: “We can make anyone a hoser if we throw enough money at them.” Ralphy could only smile his liberal smugness smile of his.

Glamour Magazine’s Woman of the Year are all liberal, lefties. Nooooooo. Not a conservative anywhere on that list. Shocked? Not really. In Canada you will never see a conservative awarded anything. Order of Canada Con – nope! Hockey Hall of Fame Con? Nope! Giller Prize Con? No. Nothing Con. Move on.

That’ll do it and deflect things: Holly’s Woody in the Morning people to rename streets that were names after Confederate Generals. Lee Avenue will be renamed Oscar Myer Weiner. TV programs such as “Lee-vit to Beaver” are just too toxic. Confederate sex. So that name will be changed to  Wine Stein, or Wallbanger. Sara Lee Cake to be removed from all studio cafeterias. Replaced with Angel Food! or Pussy Galore perhaps. Lee-vi jeans will have to be rebranded in Holly’s Woody in the Morning to something like: “Battle of the Bulge” or  “Grant me a Wish,” says Harvey Wee Wee………………… Geesh.

Liberals to re-integrate ISIS fighters into Canadian society. After all diversity is our strength. We take the good with the bad. Okay, just ensure that they be integrated into Ottawa, Toronto and Vancouver society. That will be one way to reduce property values….for sure and address our outrageous tax laws. Eh Gregor?

Gregor? Gregor?? Sounds Russian don’t it? The Mayor of Vancouver is pushing hard for social housing. This is what social housing looks like:

Image result for pics of russian social housingImage result for Russian Apartments

By that world famous architect of social renewal:

Image result for pics of russian social housing

C’mon people of Canada, citizens of Vancouver, Toronto, Victoria and other cities with progressive mayors and left wing councils……………………WAKE UP

From the Oxymoronic file comes this: Only in Canada and Toronto could you have ” Sensitive Bullies.” They, the sensitive bullies, will be employed as school crossing guards. That should go over well.

Image result for pics of antifa bullies“I said, get across that gawd damn street…now!”… “But the light’s red and I’m scared!”…. “Don’t be a pussy, MOVE IT.”

So profound man!

And “idiocy is Real.”

Rest in Peace David.

 

SJ……………………………………….Out!

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual Freedom

Another one bites the dust. Tambor out due to some sexual innuendo. This is the guy who parades around as a female in a series called Transparent. Transparents of the world unite against this craziness.

On another couch, er note, Bill Clinton is reportedly facing fresh allegations of sexual assault by four women, according to sources within the Democratic party. Ah those dems. Remember though if a democrat does it there is nothing wrong about it. No story here, move on.

Say is ain’t so Charlie. Charlie Rose is in on it too it would appear. PBS has stopped airing his show until allegations against him of sexual misconduct as investigated.

Wow, Sex in the City or what. Pretty soon we will not have any TV left to watch except reruns of Payton Place! or PeeWee Herman’s Great Adventures. Can’t wait for that. Or Leave it to Beaver. Oops, can’t say that anymore either.  I mean it’s only those people who have sex on their minds all the time or shit for brains that object to all of these things. I mean normal people have no problem with the word Beaver or PeeWee or transmission, or transam or,or…….

Y’know who would have thought back in the day that owning a Trans-Am would equate to being some perverted slave owner. You can’t say anything anymore. Words that the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ want banned for their homophobic tones:

  • Transparent
  • Transmission
  • Trans-Am
  • Trans Mountain Pipeline
  • Translation
  • Transformer
  • Transcend
  • Transcribe
  • …….and many, many more.

Like the politicisation of our world, there is sexual innuendo everywhere these days. What’s next to show on the gridiron. Me thinks we will have to change the English language to Esperanto, pretty quick.

Let’s get this shyte back into the bedroom where it belongs.

This just in: Melissa Gilbert accuses Oliver Stone of sexual harassment. Another One! Wow.

And you know Holly’s Woody in the Morning is in real trouble when Mel Gibson weighs in on his sandals…er scandals. Good gawd…………………..Geesh.

Me thinks Holly’s Woody in the Morning better re-brand their ‘This is Us” programme to something less inclusive. Orgy anyone?

Hey even the UN’s climate change conference in Bonn is getting in on the sexual harassment act. Boy could you ever have fun with this one: climate of change, climate of abuse, predatory climate, a groping climate out there for the taking. Its getting hot out there. For once the UN will be spot on when they come out and say that 2017 was the “hottest” year on record….yes. I love it. All of the turkeys are coming home to roost. The UN is not immune. Hypocrisy knows no bounds, oops sorry to the S&M crowd out there.

Then this: 5 signs that its time to change your bra. Well, I can think of only one: when your boyfriend can’t get it off. Or perhaps when Harv, Bill, Oliver, Charlie and Weiner can’t get it off either – the bra that is? What were you thinking?

Happy Tuesday

SJ……………………………..Out