Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Straight Shooter

Passchendaele: May – Nov 1917

Battle in blood and mud.

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Man gets arrested in Pakistan for being Canadian. I thought that Canada was where all Pakistani’s went to die.

Big holes in Russia spell disaster for the human race. Climate Change, Global Warming, Forest Fires in BC, western civilization’s depletion of good sperm counts, Scaramucci’s firing – take your pick as the end of the world is nigh.

Skeletor’s bro Scaramucci is out. It appears that “He Man” had second thoughts. Scaramucci?….You’re FIRED!

Peter Mansbridge of the CBC’s “The National” retired. Who will take his place? CBC…no one outside of the CBC gives two flying Fu*ks who will take his place.

Canadian Standards Association emits more carbon per day than most people emit in a lifetime. Yeah, but that’s okay as we buy carbon offsets so we are carbon neutral. This just in. Al Gore set to be the first environ-mental billionaire.

RCMP arrests some guy who is facing 113 charges related to credit card scam. 113 charges! Of course being Canada none of these charges will stick. One RCMP Officer named George Smith, who agreed to talk  to reporters anonymously, revealed a plea deal in that if he pleads guilty for failing to pay those parking tickets, we’ll drop the other 112 charges. Only in Canada you say…..shitty.

Big holes in Russia…continued. Plastic bottles are now considered a threat to the survival of mankind. Of course it is primarily those responsible goody two shoes environ-mentals who proliferate the use of plastic bottles for their water consumption needs. What to do? Oh wait a minute, those giant holes in Russian permafrost could provide the ultimate solution. Just throw the stuff down those holes – problem solved.

Just in from the Moonbat state. The lessening of criminal charges to reduce prison populations and become more of a compassionate place to live has failed. Violent crimes in LA is on the increase. California mass immigration is on the rise. Seems that the criminal element across the US is flocking to California, where if you do the crime you don’t have to do the time…Geesh!

I woke up today to a beautiful morning. I said to the wife: “Oh what a beautiful morning.” Ooops, can’t say that anymore as I will be deemed to be a weatherphobian, of climatephobian maniac. Oh the horror.

Why do we have to celebrate homosexuality with all these racist Pride celebrations. Can two men or two women procreate? Why do men have a certain appendage and women don’t? Am I missing something here? Be homosexual all you want just don’t shove the fact down my throat.

Whatever happened to heterosexual pride? Oh, I know. I’m homophobic for being straight……Geesh

The world has gone mad!

Just my thoughts today.

 

SJ……..Out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scary Thoughts

Just in. Each year the US Military spends about $234M on Viagra, Ciallus and other performance enhancing drugs, or is it weapons of mass seduction? “For Fu*k sakes, what on earth are they doing down there” someone was  heard to ask. “Just fu*kin around came the answer. There’s no life like it. It’s more than just a career!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Young boy throwing fishing net somewhere on a beach in Saipan. (A favourite picture of mine).

 

Somewhere off Saipan!

“State of Emergency, State of Emergency, State of Emergency” BC WILDFIRE SITUATION! State of Emergency. This is the prelude to all of the news segments over Vancouver Radio stations. If we don’t have enough to worry about now what with Climate Change and the dearth of healthy sperm in western society. If the fires don’t kill ya, then climate change will and if that doesn’t work then all you males out there will not be able to procreate. Scary stuff – now that last bit is a real state of emergency.

Seriously, the media must think we are all toe tards. First real hot day of summer: WEAR SUNSCREEN, WEAR A HAT, DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS, COVER UP BARE SKIN, STAY IN DOORS. Then the very first really cold day in the winter: DRESS WARMLY, DRESS IN LAYERS. WHAT ARE LAYERS? GO TO OUR WEB SITE TO FIND OUT. EXPOSED SKIN CAN FREEZE AFTER 2 MINUTES (really?). ITS SCARY OUT THERE. KEEP KIDS INDOORS ALL THE TIME………..Geesh.

 

Passchendaele – Just east of Ypres. Canada’s Other Vimy Ridge. Began in May. Lasted through to October 1917. If there ever was a hell on earth, this was it. Canada’s second Vimy Ridge.

 

Menin Gate Ypres. Nightly last post ceremony. Very, very emotional

Passchendaele 1917:

Painting Canadian Gunners in the Mud, Passchendaele 1917, by Lieutenant Alfred Bastien, Canadian War Museum Collection

Passchendaele 2015. Main road to the church and village, which was obliterated during the battle.

 

So called woman journalist slams the movie Dunkirk. Just another male bondage…er…bonding film – white privilege – male privilege and on and on she goes with her privilege. Not enough colour folks or women leads etc etc. I’ll leave it at that for the words speak for themselves. I am just glad that we didn’t have leaders like we have today coupled with a significant lack of intelligence, back during the First and Second World Wars. We would all be speaking German or Japanese now without any privilege whatsoever.

 

Presidential press secretary Sean Spicer out, Scaramucci in. Say, what? Scaramucci? Is that “Skeletor’s” brother? If TRUMP isn’t scary enough they go out and find a guy with a last name like that. Why not just go with Weiner? At least he is a known entity. Someone you can get your hands around. Media is going to have a field day with this guy. With his shades on he kinda looks like a mad Kevin Bacon.

 

Woman blames TRUMP selfies for her divorce. Finally, something not caused by Climate Change.

 

Heard by a Millennial in passing. “Hey do have any climate change. I have to pay for parking and they don’t take Bitcoin.”

 

 

SJ…….Out……Happy Monday. Remember Passchendaele

 

 

 

 

 

Robin Hood

This just in: Australian women need Muslim men to fertilize them! Wow, that has to be the weirdest pick-up line going.

 

Armed police taser man carrying crossbow and knife through the streets of Manchester. When stopped the man asked police if he was on the right road to Nottingham. That’s when they tasered him.

 

Oxymoronic statement of the week: “Feminist Muslim to open a liberal mosque in the UK!”

 

President Erdogan say that Turkey will no longer yield to western demands. It will no longer be stepped upon. This after detaining 50,000 of its citizens after last year’s failed coup. Another dangerous dictator. Another failed state in the making here. How do you spell Turkey? O..T..T..O..M..A..N    E..M..P..I..R..E

Turkey: Fantasyland in Asia Minor

 

Whatever turns your crank file:   A Bronze Age wooden box uncovered in the Swiss mountains in 2012 has proved an exciting find for scientists as it sheds new light on the kind of food eaten by prehistoric settlers.  And it took these guys five years to come up with this statement? I got to get a job in this field! Excitement? Would hate to know what bores them to death!

 

So Sad:………French Philosopher Anne Dufourmantelle drowns while trying to save drowning children. The world needs more people like her. For sure. Makes that Florida drowning incident, where teenage bystanders watched and laughed as a man drowned before them, even more disturbing.

 

My Geesh of the Week:

Ex Nazi interpreter stripped of his Canadian citizenship a fourth time. It was stripped off of him and given to Omar Khadr….a convicted terrorist living in Canada on the $10.5 M financial largesse of the Canadian Government….Geesh.

 

 

SJ….Out. Have a great weekend.

We’re Doomed!

PM Turdope made the “Cover of the Rolling Stone.”  Gladys, cancel my subscription…now. Eee gads, we’re doomed!

Rolling Stone says that Truedope is the west’s last great hope……for dope!

 

“Jersey Shore” cast. Were are they now?  You know what? Nobody gives a rat’s ass or a flying Fu#k where they are now.

 

Trump: Transgendered people cannot serve in the US military….Period! Once a month!…Finally, some sensual policy.

 

Petronis cancels huge $11B LNG Project. Premier Weaver is ecstatic. Greens in a tizzy of joy and excrement… er… excitement.

“B.C.’s future does not lie in chasing yesterday’s fossil fuel economy,” Premier Weaver said in a statement. “It lies in taking advantage of opportunities in the emerging economy in order to create economic prosperity in B.C.”

Yeah, whatever that means. Premier Weaver won’t articulate his new emerging economy. In my opinion this new economy equates to huge unemployment for the Province’s resource sector. Barista joints will be sprouting up everywhere to address the increased time off people will have. Next up. Cancel Site C and the Massey Tunnel Bridge project…NOW! Then Kinder Morgan. Coal? You’re next. Then the limber and fishey industries. Increase ICBC rates exponentially to get people out of their cars and let’s increase carbon taxes ten fold…NOW! say Premier Weaver.

“I didn’t realize how much fun destructive policies can be.” Sort of like renovating your kitchen.”: some Green dipper was heard to say.

How do you spell British Columbia? – V..E..N..E..Z..U..E..L..A

But hey, the majority of BC’ers voted for these Muppets.

We’re doomed!

 

A deer caught in the headlights. Manitoba man faces impaired driving charge after being caught driving his lawn tractor down a road leading to the Trans Canada highway while under the influence…of what they didn’t say. Cops says he was beginning his ride across Canada to raise awareness about the legalization of grass. Let him go says I. Another candidate for a Darwin Award!

 

Ex Nazi interpreter stripped of his Canadian citizenship a fourth time. It was stripped off of him and given to Omar Khadr….a convicted terrorist living in Canada on the $10.5 M financial largesse of the Canadian Government….Geesh.

 

Ontario climate change report shows a grader destroying a man’s farm. The grader operator was heard to say. “But it was an organic farm and everybody knows organic is a Latin derivative word meaning grown in pig shit. The smell was horrible.” He is doomed I am afraid to say, with no leg of lamb to stand on.

 

Ontario man faces serious jail time for raising a fracas on an Air Canada Flight. “It was the peanuts he exclaimed. They were non organic and they didn’t smell like the pig shit I was accustomed to. I couldn’t take it anymore so I blew off the stewardesses.

 

Daniel Craig onboard for the next Bond film, maybe more. Great news. For me this establishes some faith in the world at large.

More nonsense to come…I’m afraid.

 

SJ…..Out

Alien Invasion

Just read an article about a group of teenagers that watched a man drown in Florida. They wouldn’t lift a finger to help him but laughed and taunted him as he went under……….SO SAD.

To me one of the main reasons that things are so f.cked up these days is because of the indifference of the Baby Boom Generation that raised their offspring in their own image. An image that arose out of the summer of love. A free wheelin, drug induced haze and tie-dyed outlook on life. And I am one of them I hesitate to admit. It is going to take a long time to delouse this insidious virus that currently plagues western civilization.

 

Google pays professors for influence…follow the money….Keep your integrity at bay….more money! ….we want money…that’s what we want…the best things in life are free but you can keep them for the birds and bees…just give me money.

 

Alberta’s new and exciting United Conservative Country. They said that they will have an oxy-moron for a leader.

 

Proctor and Gamble plant closing in Brockville impacting over 400 employees and their families. This will have serious ripple effects and huge direct and indirect consequences in the city. No kidding. Are you listening Horgan and Weaver? Probably not because in their warped economic view of the world there has to be short term pain to transition to the new vibrant Green economy. Besides Baristas will soon be making $15 an hour so what’s the problem here folks…move on.

I remember when my father lost his job at Arenda Engines in Toronto in 1959. Arenda manufactured the engines for the Avro Arrow. When that project was cancelled by the government of the day (are you listening Horgan and Weaver?) 15,000 direct jobs were lost, while 14,500 indirect jobs were toast right across the country. That included professionals such as engineers, lawyers, accountant….and on and on she goes. It was called Black Friday in Toronto. It was a bargain basement clear-out but of a different nature. And, there were no Baristas jobs in those days.

Hey Horgan and Weaver! If you want to look at how stupid and irresponsible economic policies impact a country look no further than Venezuela.

 

Clean eating…as opposed to dirty eating. Clean eating equates to organic, which to me equates to food that was grown in pig shit. Clean and smelly.

 

When I look around me today I am convinced we have been invaded and taken over by aliens. Where are Klaatu and Gort when you need them?

 

200 sheep launch themselves over a cliff at the sight of one brown bear in their midst. Almost an allegorical tale about the decline of Europe, wouldn’t you say.

 

Vatican archbishop says that climate change induced by human activity is a fact. Those in denial are flat earth proponents. Wait a minute here. The Vatican excommunicated Da Vinci for daring to say the earth was round. Stick to saving souls and not the planet your excellency.

 

UN says only three years left to save the planet. Just another of the (insert number here) of years left to save the planet. We must, must, must dare I say it, pony up to $1.3 Trillion dollars a year to address this planetary crisis.

Are we still a member of this thing? Trudeau…please, please get us out of this disgrace and joke of an organization. Of course every third world dictator on the planet is nodding their head in agreement of this idiocy.

 

There is so much crap out there today I just can’t cover it all, so I’ll stop this here and now.

 

 

SJ……Out……..Happy Monday everybody.