Category: Weirdness and Craziness

You can’t make this up!

Bone Heads!

Passchendaele

May – Nov 1917

The Mud and the Blood

Image result for passchendaeleCan you imagine fighting in this environment

 

Google: Diversity of opinion is our strength and the cornerstone of our success.  They then go out and fire a senior computer engineer for daring to criticize the organization. I just transferred to Bing. Google really is Big Brother and the Holding Company!

 

WW3 Battle of the Nuclear Hairstyles. In this corner Kim Flung Poo – Leader of the Bone Heads and in the other corner Donald J TRUMP – the Apprentice Politician.

Donald Trump Hair

Image result for kim jong un

 

No clear winner here!

 

Saw a great Tee today with the caption:

Your (insert whatever here) sucks and your (insert whatever here) is ugly.

 

From the world of obviousness comes this: according to a poll the majority of Europeans would not fight for their country. Worst continent of countries in the world that would cut and run. France leading the charge with the most white flag factories per capita than anywhere in the world. And you know what? They have two world wars to prove it. Just bitch, whine and criticize those countries who come and bail you out. I include the UK in this mix. But, not the next time. When the Muslims overtake you guys do not come running or crying to us here in North America to help you out. We will not answer the call.

Where oh where is Charles the “Hammer” Martel when you need him.

 

From the waiting for the crash file comes this; Tesla testing its new semi-truck self driving technology in Nevada desert. Yeah. Lots of traffic road rage there buddy.

Another obviousness comment: Marijuana use may be bad for hypertension problems and impact brain and cognitive functionality. Only problem with this study is that the researchers couldn’t get their target audience to respond to their tests or questions when asked. A side bar: Incidences of Dorito purchases skyrocketed.

Never heard of this oxymoronic tidbit of news. CBC has a Comedy App. Has had it up and running for three years now. This must be a joke!

I can’t believe this: Albertan triple murdered gets 75 years without any chance for parole. No way. Not in Canada. Wait for the appeal. This will be reduced down to a more acceptable 3-5 years, less with time served. Out in 6 months. Guaranteed. He didn’t mean to do it…honest! Trudope believes him, sympathizes with him and will support his appeal with a $10.5M grant

With respect to all the insanity surrounding the N Korean / US vocal spat, why is all the rhetorical focus and criticism on Trump? Kim Flung Poo gets a free ride. How can anyone trust guys who wear hats like this.

Image result for N Korean Officers military hats I think we will be okay.

Those are MAGA Hats man.

Image result for Coneheads 1993

Cone heads? Meet the Bone heads!

Go Trump Go. Make America Great Again.

Another bit from the obviousness file: The National Post’s Andrew Coyne hates Donald Trump.

Weather causes PTSD, which in turn is caused by Climate Change. Just stay indoors or in your bubble.

Climate Change is behind the failure of Gore’s new documentary. Movie theatres refused to take any climate change for admission. Bitcoins only.

 

 

SJ….Out

 

 

Udderly Bizzaro

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Canadian Memorial

 

Leonardo Di Crapio just bought a beachfront lot and cottage at Malibu. “How’s that sea level rising catastrophe working for you Leonardo?” This from the same guy who thought an Alberta chinook was climate change ground zero. Millennials? How can you believe the shyte from this shyster.

Why is it that Climate shysters and false prophets can say anything at all, truth be damned, and the press eats it all up as fact? People? Just take a look out your window.

Refugees from the United States continue to flow into Canada via Quebec and Manitoba unabated. Politicians say let them in. I say keep them out. In a country where you can get a ticket and huge fine for fishing without a licence but can come into the country illegally without recriminations is in my view…no country. Does sovereignty mean nothing to Turdope? I want my country back. Leftie activism is destroying our society and way of life. Is there no rule of law anymore in Canada?

PETA compares dairy farming to rape. No way say the farmers. The dairy farmers categorically tell us that they can’t find boots big enough to accord them. Next up: PETA wants to take sheep farmers “wellies” away from them as well. PETA says:”Help end violence, reproductive control, and rape of females of animal species who desperately need us to speak up for them.” No lets get rid of PETA. They have no clue and yet the media continues to give them a platform. Question for PETA. One of your more famous spokespersons has boobs that are udderly huge. Is this person a good role model to progress your stupidity about “cows” producing milk?

Migrant pitches rocks into an Italian restaurant. Complains that the bread sticks were stale and the pasta overcooked.

Reports from US intelligence states that North Korea had produced a miniature sized nuclear warhead for its miniature sized missiles. Don’t worry Trump. It turns out that this miniature warhead was produced so that Kim Sung Poo can have a leg up on his opponent when he plays “Battleship” during his weekly bath time. Why are so many men called “Kim” in North Korea? Are they all transgendered over there? Have you noticed the size of the hats that the military Officers wear?

Japanese have invented ice cream that doesn’t melt. Problem is is that it doesn’t melt in your mouth either, or in your stomach. After eating some people complained that they felt like they had a brick sitting in their stomachs or stuck in their throats. Passing was a challenge as well. No thanks. I like licking my fingers. Melting ice cream equates to summer.

People across southern Europe – Spain, Italy, Balkans, Greece etc  complaining that tourism is wrecking their lives and standard of living. It has to stop. Okay, I am willing to go somewhere else. Be careful what you wish for and by the way, I hear that there are about 6 million illegal refugees and migrants ready to take their place.

A Trump senior aid believes Google, and Facebook should be treated like any other utility, such as a sewage treatment facility!

Hey, governments at all levels don’t give two hooters about debt – so why should I?

Home building is booming in Canada. Trouble is is that no Canadian can afford them. They’re being built to accommodate offshore investors. Sad

I saw a headline from a national newspaper that still claims Russia got Trump elected. No, the US electorate did. Stop spreading fake news.

This just in from the Climate Change file: Dodgy greenhouse gases from Italy detected by Swiss monitoring stations? In response Italy cracks down on the production of mozzarella sticks and meatball producing factories. Beano is next to go one Italian spokesperson was heard to remark.

Gores latest climate change disaster sequel performs poorly at the box office. Blames poor performance on Climate Change. Just another fad someone was heard to say. Ho Hum! Pass the popcorn. Prediction alert: Gore’s sequel wins 2017 Oscar for best documentary; accompanying song wins Oscar for best song and Gore wins second Nobel peace prize.

I can’t make this stuff up people.

 

 

SJ……….out.

Right Hand vs Left Hand.

Passchendaele: Mud and Blood

May – Nov 1917

Image result

15,000 Canadian Casualties in two weeks in Oct / Nov 1917

 Me? I’m just waiting for the crash:

  • From the folks that brought you Driverless Cars comes this next bit of mumbo on the Jumbo. Pilotless planes: just think of the money we will save. Plus lower fares for the travelling public. But who is going to collect?
  • If you think insurance rates are insane now, just wait for it.
  • Y’know. I love driving.

Just saw a vid about all of the important stuff the Arab nations contributed to society……………..It was a very short video. But one Arab said it all honestly: “Arabs have nothing to give western civilization.” Well yes, one thing in particular that has caused many an explosive riot in the west and starts with the letter “T”………………………Geesh.

Also they are very good at urban renewal I hear.

Facebook sucks.

Google sucks.

Hey google believes in diversity, including diverse thought and critical thinking. Then goes out and fires one of its senior computer geeks for daring to voice an opinion about that very issue.

Wife asked me to go out and get a red onion. I did but it wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t red enough. “But its just an onion” I said. “Wars have been fought over less of an issue” she said. Same for celery, not green enough or cucumbers. “But they’re not firm enough.” she says. Freudian slip perhaps? “Hey you ask a guy to go out and get some produce for ya? You takes your chances.

Speaking of firm cucumbers. Just like those cucumbers in the EU. 250 different regulations about growing a cucumber that is straight. Curved ones are substandard. Too individualistic for the EU. Group Stinks, er Think I would tink! Tell that to every virile male out there! Oh wait, this is the EU isn’t it? I take that cucumber back.

Funeral home fined for using the same casket but not changing the linen. So, like, who cares anyway. The guy is dead. Bed bugs can’t compete with those other critters.

 

From the “I don’t give two Fu#ks category:” Rhianna fans blast Chris Brown for comments. What like “no talent.” And who is Rhianna? And who is Chris Brown?

 

Robert Mitchum’s witty comments. I have two acting styles: “with and without a horse.” Oh how I pine for those honest days when men were men and women were like: DiCaprio and Ruffelo.

 

Sinnead O’Connor……..sad!

This just in from Toronto: “No casinos, no casinos, no casinos. Read my lips – no casinos.”

“Um, Madame Premier, Mayor. Our budget shortfall this year will be a gazillion trillion.”

Heard today in passing at Queens’ Park and City Hall: Casino planned for Woodbine…..Geesh.

 

Our Liberal Government’s warped view of the world as hundreds of “refugees” flood into Montreal. We are a welcoming society Trudeau states. We welcome all Refugees but we want to protect all Canadians “Um, er sorry Emperor Justinian. Put your clothes back on for these people are not refugees. They are illegal immigrants jumping the queue because they don’t like Trump.” Full stop.

Just in. Illegal weapons flooding into Canada from the US!

Canada you say?…………..Shitty.  A place where the left hand has no idea or concept of what the right hand is doing, or vice versa.

I want my country back.

 

SJ……….out!

Hey Buddy Can You Spare a Dime

Passchendaele: Blood and Mud

May – Nov 19179 Canadians won the Victoria Cross during this Battle

 

Update. The Swiss Neanderthal man found on a Swiss glacier with cereal in his satchel… took scientists 5 years to come up with the notion that the man was eating Cheerio’s. It took me 5 minutes to come up with the theory that the Cheerio’s probably killed him!

 

Moonbat State’s Governor Jerry Brown unveils the state’s new energy program. He promised lots of “Brown Outs.” Hey that’s a racist comment some SJW was heard to say.

 

Chicago Tribune reports that an Ice Breaker transited the Northwest passage in record time. Of course climate change is to blame for this as in years past the ice would have ice blocked this feat. Hate to spoil the party here but Amundsen was blocked by ice in the Passage for 2 years in 1901 and 1902 in his Goa. In 1903 he made it through unscathed by any ice. The passage was found to be ice free that year and that my friends was in 1903. This is why I hold no credence whatsoever to Journalism these days. Misleading and deceitful. They do not check the facts.

Same with Katrina, often cited as the worst natural disaster in US history to progress the climate change “we’re all going to die” narrative. Sorry, the 1900 Galveston Hurricane was the worst natural disaster in US history. Check it out.

Image result for galveston hurricane

Another bit of Journalism fluff. Each year here on Bancouver Island we experience a mini drought in that we receive very little rain, if any, from about mid June until September. This is caused by the establishment of a high pressure ridge that forms off the west coast of Washington State. This ridge deflects all of the Pacific storms to the north of us. The environ – mentals here always cry out….See, see, we are at ground zero in Climate Change! No we’re not. This is a common occurrence that even Sir James Douglas, the founder of the City of Victoria, lamented about in 1846. Check it out. By September the ridge generally collapses and the winter rains commence. Then it is…See, see we are at ground zero for Climate Change because of all the rain we get. No Virginia, it is called weather. The climate in this area remains Mediterranean in nature…warm dry summers and mild wet winters. Has been this way for 10,000 years, since the end of the last ice age.

 

From the world is going crazy file:

  • You can now buy a smart salt shaker called a Smalt – for 199 bucks. Why?
  • Construction of 25,000 chimneys 3 miles in height to fight climate change, make it rain and change desert into arable land?? Remember that Burt Lancaster movie…The Rainmaker? No? Watch it.
  • If the chimneys don’t work we will construct thousands and thousands of ugly 300 metre high wind turbines. Oh wait a minute.
  • Seagulls and other birds covered in oil………………….VERY BAD. Thousands of birds sliced and diced by wind turbines…………………………………………..?
  • 25% of meat tested in Canada found traces of mystery meat not labelled. Oh you mean SPAM?

 

“Second Cup” sales rise since 2015 after losing ground to “First Cup”

 

Even the homeless beggars on the streets of Victoria have adapted to the times. Heard in passing…”Hey buddy, can you spare any Climate Change…Huh”

Beware of False Prophets

 

SJ……out. Happy Monday.

Raging Hormones!

Passchendaele: Hell on Earth

May – Nov 1917

But for them I have the freedom to write this blog. Lest we forget that we could easily lose our freedoms. We owe them a great deal.

 

Seems that A and W and other fast food joints have been misleading us by saying their products are hormone free and therefore far superior than their competition.

Of course they are. According to the FDA no product can come on the market for consumption having hormones. They have to be expunged by the animal’s natural expungement processes, i.e., shit and piss, prior to being slaughtered and processed for sale.

But I already knew that. No, they don’t have hormones as they say in their commercials but they still taste like shit….or sawdust, or cereal or (insert additive here). Oh the horror and the methane of it all.

 

Quote of the week: A lesson in obviousness: “Venezuela is the leftist model for a basket case.

 

Israeli Pizza shop owner fights off angry Palestinian customer with tray!

“I told ya no anchovies, damn it” and “no black olives” the Palestinian was heard to say.

“But Black Olives Matter” said the owner. Especially in a pizza joint!

 

Millennials do not support leftist ideology, according to a recent poll. Finally, the Boomer Generation’s summer of love turns sour. All of the world’s ills today can point to one seminal occurrence. Woodstock 1969!

 

New Zealand goes Full Monty in dealing with rabbits. Their Easter Egg hunts are for real but not for the eggs…for the rabbits. Mass execution of these furry cuddly rodents. Yes rats, if the rabbits are allowed to proliferate. Can you imagine this happening here in Victoria? Oh the horror of it all. Victoria, BC where rabbits come to die. Where dogs have more rights than humans. Of course New Zealand has sheep for brains. The cross breeding has been a huge success…..can I borrow your Wellies one farmer was heard to say to another.

 

NYC dog owners not getting their pets vaccinated for fear of their dogs getting autism. How on earth would one know? From a dog? Are you kidding me? Are you crazy??

I think these dog owners should be eradicated from the face of the earth. They definitely have shit for brains. See hormones and rabbit cull above.

 

We can solve Climate Change if everyone just eats beans rather than meat. Has anyone ever heard of Beano? Every imagined solution has unintended consequences. This just in: Flatulence noise levels soar in the Moonbat State….Geesh

 

Canadian NDP leadership hopefuls hate Israel and have stated (Not Angus) that they would implement measures to advocate the Palestinian cause and punish Israel. What is going on with Canada?

This just in:  Palestinian leader admitted to Israeli hospital for life saving surgery! There you have it.

 

 

SJ….out