Weirdness and Craziness – Page 14

Poker Face

Only 95 days until Maldives disappear, according to the UN. 01 January 2018.

Image result for Pics of Maldives

Headline: Kardashian pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby. How did that happen? Well if Bruce Jenner can become a woman then I guess anything is possible. Transferring babies? Wow. The Trans community is all in a tizzy.

Top chefs reveal their trade secrets. That’s easy one was heard to say. I use “Take-Out! Or I brown bag it. That way nobody can see my trade secrets!”

Image result for Pics of take-out

Hefner dies at 91. It was a great ride huh Hugh. Great memories of growing up with that icon hidden under my bed!

In Canada recently a family got asylum. The husband was rejected. “He just wasn’t crazy enough” a government official announced. I mean “Maybe next time.”

In response to Trudope’s taxation legislation that is going to screw the middle class: “I didn’t vote in the rast erection” a Japanese Canadian was heard to say.

So the NFL, CFL and now NHL are going to continue with their bended knee protests of the National Anthems. Great I can just TFL: This Fan Left and change the channel. See how that works for ya all. What is going on here these days? Is anyone happy anymore? What happened to our role models?

Whose going home tonight folks?

Other things of note: Colbert is just not funny. Oliver is just not funny. Maher is just not witty, or funny. American comedy is on the skids. SNL? 40 years of crap. Can that canned laughter machine and hear just how stupid their monologues are. Thinking the other day about this and then thought about Jack Benny. Now this guy was funny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeOtLAv82mA

The master of the visual understatement.

Rewarding rigor: as in rewarding high academic achievement in schools. Sorry guys but that type of rigor is now known as “Rigor Mortis” in our institutions of higher learning.

They say that France and other old European countries have about 40 years remaining before becoming Muslim in their majority demographic. It’s also happening here. I thank my God that I’ll be dead and gone well before then. How do you spell relief Virginia: S…H…A…R…I…A! I can only hope and pray that a new Charles “the hammer” Martel is in the wings somewhere!

Heard in passing at an open air poker game: “Well that’s great infidel. I’ll see your 1.5 children and raise you 10!” How’s that! I call….

US Navy returning to basics after disastrous month of collisions at sea. Wow, they are going back to using compasses and pencils and forcing young officers of the watch to learn and implement the international agreement for Rules of the Road at sea. “Yeah, but where are the bike lanes? I don’t see any out here!” One raw recruit was heard to say. He was immediately reassigned to the Army……….Geesh.

SJ………………………Out.

Me? A Fashion Faux Pas

Only 96 days until the Maldives are under water according to a 1988 UN report on Global Warming. Maldives today:

Image result for pics of the maldives But Canada knows better because we are Climate Change smug!

Have ya heard?

Venezuela is about to declare war on the US. Great but I have one question for them. How ya going to feed your troops?

Seems like North Korea is about to declare war on the US as well. See above remark.

Image result for pics of north korea army crazy hats Those hats would scare anyone but they don’t put food on the table. Hey these guys are pretty old as well. Did they take a page out of the Canadian Military. Even the cat is dumbfounded. Gotta love those medals as well. Nah, Trump has nothing to worry about.

This from the Moonbat State: Coffee to be banned cause there is a minute trace cancer agent that exists as a natural byproduct of the brewing process. Man these guys are really going after smokers aren’t they?

Fashion faux pas men make:

I don’t see the problem here folks. Socks are clean, sandals look brand new. This is “fashion faux pas” after all. Or perhaps this is a statement about white privilege! Whatever, but if I want to look ridiculous then gal darn it anyway, I will. Nice thing about being an old fart: you don’t give a damn anymore what people think.

Yeah, but this is cool…not:

Image result for pics of mens short suit jackets

And with a hairstyle to boot.

Kind of reminds me of this:

Image result for pics of nazi youth And this:

Image result for pics of nazi book burning Or is this an ANTIFA training camp?……………..Geesh.

Are sea levels rising? Nope. But one stupid dude tried to tell me that sea levels in the western Pacific are rising dramatically more than the sea levels in the eastern Pacific. Think about that statement. Another told me that Archimedes worked for Big Oil!………..Geesh!

Global Warming models now appear to have been flawed: erring on the hot side….Geesh. They’re now trying to say that they used the wrong glue:

Image result for pics of funny model buildings

I don’t know about you but all I do now is look out my windows every morning when I rise. Is it a sweater / jacket day or not?

Surprise of the day: now that the NDP have formed government, NDP insiders fill important government jobs! Noooooo, say it ain’t so Rocky!

That’s all for today.

SJ…………………………Out

End Of The World As We Know It!

Image result for pics of next extinction

I heard the progressives cry when they saw this. According to them, at the centre for science at Moonbat University, this mass distinction never occurred and that they, T-Rex and company, are only asleep somewhere. They will be returning you know. I got news for you Virginia:

This just in: Next great mass extinction to occur in 100 years, around 2100, because of the amount of carbon being pumped into the atmosphere, according to a mathematical study of the five previous events in the last 540 million years. Oh you mean this study:

The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York. 1 + 1 = 3!

Sorry, the artifact that just keeps on giving.

Some professor at a highly regarded institution of higher lemmings theorized that disturbances in the natural cycle of carbon through the atmosphere, oceans, plant and animal life played a role in mass die-offs of animals and plants.

And how does he know this for sure? He studied 31 times when there had been such changes and found four out of the five previous mass extinctions took place when the disruption crossed a “threshold of catastrophic change.” This sounds ominous.

“He’s quite old y’know,” a colleague was heard to say.

And here I thought it was an asteroid. Silly me.

Image result for the professor on gilligans island

Based on his analysis of these mass extinctions, the Professor, as pictured above in his lab with an unknown cohort, developed a mathematical formula to help predict how much extra carbon could be added to before triggering a sixth one. Their models, as shown below, are highly sophisticated and complex for the average sod like you and me to understand. And, they are based upon the UN’s IPCC climate science models.

Image result for pics of funny model buildings

They bear this out. The UN’s IPCC is ecstatic over this as it falls nicely into their narrative that if we do not do something now about climate change the earth will end by 2100. A double whammy. Accountability for such outrageous claims? Well, of course we’ll all be dead by then won’t we!

On another heart warming note: A self-described “specialist in research and investigations at the United Nations’ “Department of Specialists in Research and Investigations” has earned a fair amount of publicity online recently for predicting that catastrophic events will soon befall Earth. Among his claims: On Saturday, Sept. 23, 2017, a constellation — a sign prophesied in the Book of Revelation — will reveal itself in the skies over Jerusalem, signaling the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. Yikes, that’s tomorrow! This researcher believes that by the end of October, the world may enter what’s called a seven-year tribulation period, a fairly widespread evangelical belief that for seven years, catastrophic events will befall Earth.

He calls this his “Moses Theory.” They tried to interview him but they couldn’t nail him down:

Image result for pics of department of silly walks

The UN pulled out its Mayan Calendar to do a fact check but were dismayed and forgot that that calendar ended 12 December 2012. get it: 12-12-12. Of course the United Nations says that we have to donate $60T dollars to third world countries if we want to stop this from happening now. I told them to go to 6-6-6!

From the who gives a flying F^%K file comes this: Rhianna reveals her real family name: Rhianna Fenty.

And here I though it was Rhianna Banana.

That’s all I wrote. Have a great weekend.

SJ…………..Out

Tweetle Dee,Tweetle Dumb.

Look at these two guys. Our Provincial leaders sharing a good joke among themselves. The guy on the right is John Horgan, BC’s new Premier whose Govt is being held up literally and figuratively by the guy on the left, Mr Andrew Weaver, a powerful man who has just 3 seats out of a total 87 in the “Ledge.” But hey this is BC after all. Wonder what the joke is all about. Let’s listen:

“That’s a good one John” Andrew spilled out between guffaws.

“Yeah, yeah and y’know what Andrew this Carbon Tax is political “Manna from Heaven.” BC voters are so darn naïve. They think….guffaw…they think…hold on Andrew…this is so darn funny… that this tax is going to be Carbon Neutral. Bah hahahahhahahahahahaah. Oh my gut hurts so much.

“Yeah,” Andrew added. “And they also think that we are going to put this cash cow into infrastructure…public transit no less…bah hahahahahahahah tee hee hee…”

“You kill me Andrew. Yeah, we’ll just keep shafting the public here and give this new found wealth to the teachers so that they can teach the new math, and to…

“Don’t forget the new economy…John…” Andrew interrupted “that I have been pushing for. I mean Timmy’s is sooo 20th Century.”

“Yeah,” John added. There will be a “Barista” on ever street corner. Wow. And just think of all the Touristas coming in to British Columbia to take pictures of all those buildings in all of those “Ghost Towns” across the province.

“Yeah,” Andrew spouts. “It’s a force multiplier for sure John.”

“Hey it’s so much fun screwing things up financially isn’t it.” John said. “This is the best part of my job Andrew, besides keeping Carol in line, of course.”

“It sure is,” Andrew said. Bah hahahahahah. “This is killing me John. Now let’s go over our plans again to continue siphoning off the ICBM sorry er John, Freudian Slip, I meant ICBC and Hydro surpluses into our General Revenue fund. We have to come up with a new strategy to convince people that ICBC and Hydro are in serious financial trouble….this is so hilarious John.

“That is so funny Andrew. BTW, you have such nice teeth.

“Well thanks John. Nice tie. Let’s go have a Barista and a joint.”

“Gotta love this new economy of Touristas and Baristas. I’m sooo excited.”

This just in from Stevie Wonders. This has to be the quote of the week: – “Anyone who denies climate change has to be blind…” huh…huh wonderful Stevie, wonderful.

And another of his cohorts was heard to say” well, like, you know, like, its Trump y’know and like his failed policies, like you know. Those right-wing baddies like y’know what I mean.” But hey misinformed Musak celebrity, Houston voted Democrat in the last US election! “Tee hee, hee, did you say, like erection sweetie, hee. hee, hee, like that’s a good one.”………….Geesh.

Keopectate takes a page out of an Eagles song for their next marketing campaign: “While I’m running down the road trying to loosen my load…take it eeee-zay, take it eeey-zay.”

Speaking of shyte, I just had my septic tank drained and cleaned out. Whew, no problems, working like a sieve the man said. Nice choice of words I said to him.

Just in from the Moonbat State. Gotta love California, the gift that keeps on giving to bloggers like me:

An Earthquake in California, 3.4, barely a rumble but: “still wanna say climate change isn’t real?” Tweetle Dumb tweeted in the tweetisphere.

“Well, like, you know maybe, like we’ll see” another articulate celebrity spouted out. “Why is Mother Nature hitting California?” Tweetle Dumber was heard to say. “I mean, like, we believe in Climate Change and Global Warming, like you know! So why is she, Gaia, like being so mean to us with all of this crap like?”

Well little miss sunshine. Mother nature hates stupidity and she weeds out those candidates that qualify for the final round of the Darwin Awards. When it comes to stupidity, California is the gold standard. Hate to spoil the partaay guys but CC falls within the realm of meteorology, climatology while earthquakes and volcanos fall within the Geology / Volcanology realm of things….so it ain’t weather or climate……..Geesh.

Lefties are now stating that cotton, anything cotton is racist. Okay, what about this icon of men’s fashion in rayon and other synthetics:

I’ll stick to cotton, thank you very much. But then again if the alt left adopts this style at least we’ll be able to point them out immediately. Especially if they adopt this hairstyle and wear those hats:

File image of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un.

That’s it for today.

SJ…………….Out

Rocket Man!

Loved Trumps’ UN Speech. Finally, a leader calling it for what it is and using plain unadulterated English to repudiate North Korea and Iran and other tin-pot dictatorships in that agust body of Liberal thought. Of course the alt lefts’ in the NYT and WaPo and members of the Holly Woody’s in the Morning elite are having a shit-fit today. Some were heard to say that like her:

Image result for pics of alt left having a bad day An important UN representative for some unknown third world stink-pot regime stormed out of the meeting in protest when he heard Trump to say: “You’re Next!”

Yeah, that will do it.

I particularly loved Trump’s description of Kimberley as the “Rocket Man”

Kim’s response? Let’s partaaaaay! Fireworks are on us!

New Math in Liberal Ontario’s education curriculum.

Alt Right + Alt Right + Alt Right does not equal Alt Left. This moment of clarity from Antifa, BLM, SJWs and Pride after covering the latest archaeological find that was recently discovered concerning the truth about the “New Math.”

The 3,700-year-old Babylonian tablet Plimpton 322 at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Columbia University in New York. Yup, this again: 1 + 1 = 3

We have been duped! Scarred for life

Couple gets married at Tim Hortons.

Order up! Two triple-triples and a wedding: Couple gets married at Tim Hortons Yeah, she looks happy. It’s the couch for you tonight buddy. She’ll have to be happy with Tim’s bits.

Read in passing:

“A dog u gave away ur sister on ur birthday last year same same same chilly my plaid U want no part of me Stop doing interviews kid,” she captioned the photo…this example of the Queens’ English used by many on the progressive alt left was applauded by Millennial’s everywhere. “I think we’ll adopt this and make it part of our new English curriculum in Ontario” Wynne’s Edumacation Minister was heard to say. She added: Well you know we have already dropped Shakespeare for Marvel Comics. This new initiative will strike a nice balance to that and to our new math programme (see above).

I still think Bill Nye “The Science Guy” and Benedict Cumberbirch, Sherlock Holmes, are related:

Image result for pics of bill nye the science guy Don’t you? Image result for pics of benedict cumberbirch

I mean, just look at the hair style!

From Australia journalist Mark (with a “K” Quebec) Latham: Political Correctness is overrunning our country. That’s okay Mr Latham because it is over-ruining ours here in Canada.

Hey Europe. We all know you hate Trump and everything American because well, you know, you have to blame somebody for your basket case economic policies. Of course it is Trump’s fault that Spain and Italy have somewhere near 50% youth unemployment, and Greece’s 1.5 hour work week is hurting their GDP bottom line. Amazing that Trump could do all of this in just 8 months in Office.

Obviousness of the week. “France and the EU hate Trump!” Just like Europe hated the US in 1914 and again in 1939. Next time you guys are in for it, don’t call on us for help. With 400 plus million people handle it yourselves or get out those white flags that are currently in reserve somewhere in France.

Out of here. Getting my septic tank cleaned out tomorrow so I have to dig it out to expose the lids. Oh well, shit happens when one is retired.

SJ…………Out

Category: Weirdness and Craziness

Poker Face

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Me? A Fashion Faux Pas

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End Of The World As We Know It!

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Tweetle Dee,Tweetle Dumb.

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Rocket Man!

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