Hey. We Canadians are so smug. We are so much better than those dastardly Americans, or any other country in the world. Consider this:
The US invented Rock n Roll, the automobile, the airplane, the washing machine, the radio, the assembly line, refrigerator, garbage disposal, electric razor, instant camera, jukebox and television.
What did we invent?
Yes, peanut butter. That wonderful gooey concoction every Canadian youth grew up with.
And what did we do with this marvelous invention of ours? Well we banned it from every schoolyard, cafeteria in the country. If we really wanted to invent something we should have come up with an anti-dope to peanut allergies.
Oh yeah, we also invented the zipper. Now that was a great invention, especially to all of us males out there who no longer pissed ourselves when trying to undo those buttons when nature really called, as in RIGHT NOW!
Oh yes, we also invented canola:
Beautiful isn’t it. As in Cheeze whiz:
or Kraft Dinner
KD for short, Canola is also just one molecule shy of being plastic. Canada’s upcoming single use plastic ban has me and many others like me stocking up like survivalists. My basement is going to be full of this stuff. Of course I will stock my garage with Canola Oil to service my car’s lubrication needs or to use it like axel grease when required.
Why are all of these things that are sooo very bad for us…yellow? Why? One of nature’s mysteries I digress.
Glowing in the dark: Oklahoma man allegedly driving stolen vehicle filled with uranium, a rattlesnake, and Kentucky Deluxe Whiskey. What a concoction. Apparently last we heard he was headed for Canada to get some of that radioactive Canola for dessert.
Talk about dumb and dumber: Ocasio-Cortez, that whacko US congresswoman announces a new bill in congress to make the US electoral college tuition-free.
I cannot make this stuff up…really.
Hundreds of blindfolded goats airdropped into Swiss mountain range. Their last words were heard to be Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I thought it appropriate to repeat this post given that the Liberal campaign to be re-elected this fall has begun.
I love this:
From a government of Canada web site (bold is mine):
“We know that our country is stronger – and our government more effective – when decision-makers reflect Canada’s diversity (instead of 30 B in debt we are now 40B in debt annually). The Government of Canada has implemented an appointment process that is transparent (we can see right through it) and merit-based, (lowest uncommon denominator) strives for gender parity (all of them) and seeks to ensure that Indigenous peoples and minority groups are properly represented in positions of leadership (only Francos monsieur). We continue to search for Canadians who reflect the values that we all embrace: inclusion, honesty, fiscal prudence (Lol)and generosity of spirit (have another toke). Together, we will build a government as diverse as Canada (and get nothing done).
We are equally committed to providing a healthy workplace that supports everyone’s dignity, self-esteem (can’t be fired) and the ability to work to each team member’s full potential. With this in mind, all appointees will be expected to take steps to promote and maintain a healthy, respectful and harassment-free work environment. (Take steps…baby steps?)
The Government of Canada is currently seeking applications from diverse and talented Canadians from across the country who are interested in the following appointment opportunities. This is code for: (Whitey and Anglos need not apply):
If you think there is no discrimination or racism in Canada, think again while you are rolling that joint.
And then there is this:
Toronto, Ottawa and other border towns in Quebec and Ontario are demanding compensation from the feds to account for the expenses garnered due to all of the illegal immigrants and border crossings. Trudeau’s response is classic liberalism:
“The kind of fear-mongering, the kind of intolerance, the kind of misinformation going on across the country and around the world is something all of us have a responsibility to engage with a positive and a thoughtful way,” Trudeau said the other day in New Brunswick.”
“Hey Gerald, where is my yellow vest anywho?” and by the by:
“Anyone who raises concerns about a border crisis that sees economic migrants cross illegally and claim refugee status is dismissed as racist or divisive by the Liberals. Not exactly positive or thoughtful.”
Yeah profound Justinian. No debate! Just a comeback to anyone who disagrees or questions liberal policies is a RACIST, a BIGOT. One of those NASTY, NASTY, NAZI conservatives. You bet. I am sooo proud with that label.
All of those Canadians who agree with Turd-ope can apply for those jobs as indicated above.
Divershity is our Strength
And it smells good too.
On a lighter note. Gotta love this. This guy should work for the government!
In reaction to the Liberal’s hiring policy comes this hiring tool. That’s gotta hurt:
Antique Tool Still In Use.Do you know what it is?
Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit (1750s – 1810s).
The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.
A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowing smoke up your ass.”
This odd tool is still heavily used by the Canadian Liberal government. They are considering its use to weed out anglo and white Canadians who dare question or apply for one of those Government jobs!
1972 was a great year for rock!
Liberals plan to use this song to promote their Tobacco Enema Tool:
Congrats to Toronto Raptors for the winning of their first NBA title.
And now for the Leafs? Ahhh, maybe not.
In a few more days the Liberal government will gives its verdict on the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion. My verdict?
Turn me loose. Turn me loose. Read my
lips. No more pipelines. My brain is engaged. I have a dream.
No more pipelines. Yes, I have a dream. No matter where you are from, or the colour of your skin, there will be Barista joints and joints on every street corner of every city and town in this great country of ours. Yes, I have a dream.
And its a nightmare.
Meanwhile Climate Barbie, Trudeau’s erstwhile minister of CO2 has rejected every single recommendation that the conservative members of the senate have proposed to improve the draconian measures that would effectively ban all tankers off the West Coast of Canada and ensure not another resource project or major infrastructure initiative ever gets built in this country.
What? There are three of her?
I see CO2
I only wish is that she and the entire Liberal Cabinet would breathe CO.
Our wonderful health care system in Canada: man dies of massive bedsore in Ontario hospital. Found 37 other incidents in the same facility.
We have the very best health system in the world………………..NOT.
Major League Baseball analyst sights global warming as the cause of a spike in home runs this season. Yes, there is a lot of hot air these days around the ball parks. No one mentioned crappy pitching.
Then this just in from that icon of journalistic integrity Joy Behar of the View: “Global Warming could stop Joe Biden from curling…er curing cancer if he becomes President.”
Doesn’t anyone else see the humour in all of this. Yet people actually believe this shyte.
With all of the political shyte going on here in Canada I have indeed become comfortably numb. Consider this:
This week in Vancouver, Prime Minister Trudeau said the federal carbon tax, a key pillar in his government’s climate policy, will help protect Canadians from extreme weather. “Extreme weather events are extraordinarily expensive for Canadians, our communities and our economy,” he said, citing the recent tornadoes in Ottawa and wildfires in Western Canada. “That’s why we need to act.”
Trudeau must think we are all idiots. Forest fires that have started naturally by lightening strikes, or by human error are ignored. No, its climate change. Tornados? Climate change. And why you may ask? Taxes, more taxes to pay for his identity political agenda. That is his bottom line. If you think for a second that the carbon tax will prevent natural disasters then I have a meteorologist…or two…for you.
See, see. All of those extreme weather events that they are reporting on in the background….cheers.
And this just in from a Philadelphia radio talk show. Subject: recent tornados in that state. One caller, a good ole boy calls in:
“I know what’s a happenin dere he says. I know what’s causin all of dem dere tornaters. It’s doze damn nuisance roundabouts, doze turnin circles. Ya see, what with all of doze cars and trucks and all going round and round…well…da air gets stirred up like a newfy fart – my Canadian cousins from da rock ya know – and we get dem Tornaters. Get rid of dem going round abouts and doze tornaters will go away!”
This is Canada’s Prime Minister…a real plastic man.
Got ya, you, you climate change deniers. I will carbon tax you all to death.
June 6 D-Day commemoration speeches.
US:
Speaking on the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings in France during World War II, Trump honored the dead and paid tribute to survivors, a solemn duty of American presidents.
The address near Omaha Beach won praise from supporters and critics alike. “We are gathered here on freedom’s altar,” Trump said within view of both Omaha Beach and the cemetery where 9,388 American military dead are buried. “From across the Earth, Americans are drawn to this place as though it was part of our very soul.”
Canada’s prime Minister:
“French Canadians, Anglo Canadians, Indigenous Canadians, New Canadians.” Identity politics at Juno Beach. Why can he not just say Canadians fought at Juno Beach.
Canada’s Governor General, Julia Payette, one of Trudeau’s chosen few elite:
“Collectively speaking, we are all to blame for World War II. It was a collective failure and tragic breakdown of communication.”
Yeah, Hitler was sooo misunderstood. If only we could have been more understanding. Such a cuddly German sauerkraut:
Don’t ya just want to give this guy a hug:
Finally, given that Trudeau now states categorically that Canada committed GENOCIDE against the indigenous population of this country, we are now part of an infamous rogue’s gallery: Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Turkey, Rwanda
and now….Canada can be added to that list.
October cannot come soon enough. Has to be the worst PM this country has ever had.
Given all of this shyte all I can say is that like Homer I am comfortably numb.
I am back. Had a great time in Toronto. Jays beat the Yankees 2 out of 3 games. Enjoyable.
Down to business:
Some people think I am a redneck due to the nature of some of my posts. I don’t think I am. I just try to poke some fun at the news makers of the day or the day’s events. And in today’s social media world there is no limit to my subject matter. And, after all, this is a redneck:
I can assure you, I do not look like this dude. Scary eyes. Maybe the guy behind him perhaps.
Kind of ticked off, no really mad, with the results of the Murdered and Missing Women inquiry’s conclusions. I remember saying to a friend of mine when they began this investigation some 4 years ago. 4 years ago? Are you kidding me? Now that is a tragedy! I mean everyone knows who is to blame. The RCMP, Canada’s national constabulary, have found that up to 80% of the murdered and missing women cases can be attributed to family violence, domestic disputes within the indigenous community. But no, that is not good enough. They had to come up with a conclusion that will put “whitey” square into their crosshairs. And they have done that in spades. It would appear that Canada has committed that most heinous of crime: “GENOCIDE.” Our dear illustrious leader, in all of his narcissistic glory, admitted such, in tears no less, just last week in Vancouver.
The meaning of genocide? I looked it up so you don’t have to. According to Websters, of which I have a copy right here beside me, the act of genocide is the deliberate killing of a very large number of people or ethnic group. The key word here is deliberate. Thus, according to our dear leader, every Canadian who is not indigenous, is to blame for the attempted and deliberate elimination of the indigenous ethnic group in Canada. We here in Canada are on par with the Nazi’s Holocaust, Stalin’s Russian purges, Turkey’s Armenian murders, Pol Pot and his Cambodian killing fields and the more recent Rwanda Tutsi killings:
Are you, my fellow Canadians, happy with that? Of course Trudeau should be very careful in what he says.
The UN, The World Court in the Hague and the Organization of American States have launched their own investigations into this and if they deem that genocide has indeed occurred in Canada, then Trudeau, as the sitting Prime Minister of Canada could find himself arrested and convicted with a life sentence. That happened to the Prime Minister of Rwanda. Now that would be justice in my mind’s eye to Trudeau who has willy nillied broad brushed us all into his disgusting view of the Canadian people.
If the intent here is reconciliation with indigenous Canadians then the government has misfired on all of its cylinders, as far as I am concerned.
I am ashamed to be a Canadian today. October cannot come soon enough.
First nations have conferred upon our dear leader with a new native name. Recently in Vancouver the Chief of the First Nations honoured Trudeau with an indigenous name…”Walking Goose.” Of course Trudeau was ecstatic and in all of his narcissistic selfie glory with this new honour.
After the solemn ceremony a reporter went up to the Chief to ask of him the meaning of this title.
“Walking Goose,” the Chief explained, refers to a bird that is so full of shit that it cannot fly.
And here is another bit of natural history:
The two most important events in all of history were the invention ofbeer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called ‘vegetarians’ which was an early human word meaning ‘bad hunter’) learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men “evolved” into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.
And there you have it. To make matters worse but of no surprise really:
Prime Minister Trudeau is a Liberal
Madness! But it doesn’t have to be. It’s a mad, mad world but only if you want it to be, it doesn’t have to be.
Don’t listen to fools… like our Prime Minister. Listen to your heart. A depressing song but Trudeau’s genocide statement makes me very, very sad…and mad.
or Kraft Dinner
KD for short, Canola is also just one molecule shy of being plastic. Canada’s upcoming single use plastic ban has me and many others like me stocking up like survivalists. My basement is going to be full of this stuff. Of course I will stock my garage with Canola Oil to service my car’s lubrication needs or to use it like axel grease when required.
Turn me loose. Turn me loose. Read my
What? There are three of her?
Got ya, you, you climate change deniers. I will carbon tax you all to death.
